(no subject)
i figured out why it always comes back. i make it come back. i answer the phone. and sometimes, im even dialing the number. why has this developed into a serious addiction? its not even a substance, its a person. i wonder if its from the addictive trait that i forget what the proper term is that is inherited in my family. thats mostly sfor substances though, but i wonder if it could be people too. why cant i shake it, its driving me crazy. he isnt even hot. but hes so incredibly great. and at the same time a dick head. i feel like hes somewhat a part of me now. hes made a place in my heart. i never even acted this way towards lucas for crying out loud. what is it? i just want to know. even if i dont make it come back, it comes back.i want it all to go away, all the feelings all the memories, everything because it hurts so bad, and at the same time i feel like i need them. hes going to college soon. i wonder if that will help, or if ill be worse off then i am. ugh i cant handle it anymore. im emotionally drained. i need some cloud 9 with mollee hahhaah
waking up for school tomorrow is gunna suuuuuuuuuuuck! BLAH! love to all!
waking up for school tomorrow is gunna suuuuuuuuuuuck! BLAH! love to all!