(no subject)
my mom told me that something good will happen to me eventually.
she still hasn't been right.
I'm in a crappy rut.
there's nothing major or anything going down right now. but there is.
i don't want to exist but i have so much to live for.
Joanna has become the soul of my being.
I eat sleep drink breathe Joanna.
I'm pretty sure it's on a platonic level from both of us.
Actually I'm positive.
I'm not going to lie. so here's a history.
April-ish of 2004. Joanna and I become friends and then some, we both like each other. I never ask her out. She moves on. I still like her.
late May or early June of 2004. I was bitter towards her for not having feelings towards me anymore. I was mean to her. We stopped talking for a week. I still like her.
Summertime. she starts going out with some guy...i don't even remember his name. they were having some rough times or something...she was at my house. so was he. they weren't talking. i had to leave with maggie. they break up. i still like her. but didn't want to make things weird.
Early September. I almost gain courage to start talking to her about a relationship. She mentions a guy by the name of Pat Good. I get crushed. she goes out with him. I still like her.
First half of school year. She told me a lot about how pat can be an asshole. i hated him thinking she could do better. i could be better. I finally met him though. and he grew on me, but still hated when he made her sad. I still like her.
Now. Pat and Joanna broke up. over the course of the last few months i realize that i care about joanna so much and for the last week or so we have spent almost every night together. i feel so strongly for her. and I love her, but I am not sure to what extent right now. Her and Sean met, Sean knew of my feelings for her. He made me think he was going to help me get Joanna, even though at the same time I wasn't sure if it was a smart move. They start talking online. and now are probably on a date as i am typing this.
this on top of so many other things is making me a very unhappy guy.
at the same time though.
joanna and i have something so special that i don't think her and sean or any other guy can have with her. so neener neener to them.
i don't know what i'm doing.
i know that joanna and i will be together forever in the sense that we are going to be there for each other without question.
i love her to no end.
more than i love anyone else
platonic or not.
we are together in our hearts and most safe when laying side by side.
she still hasn't been right.
I'm in a crappy rut.
there's nothing major or anything going down right now. but there is.
i don't want to exist but i have so much to live for.
Joanna has become the soul of my being.
I eat sleep drink breathe Joanna.
I'm pretty sure it's on a platonic level from both of us.
Actually I'm positive.
I'm not going to lie. so here's a history.
April-ish of 2004. Joanna and I become friends and then some, we both like each other. I never ask her out. She moves on. I still like her.
late May or early June of 2004. I was bitter towards her for not having feelings towards me anymore. I was mean to her. We stopped talking for a week. I still like her.
Summertime. she starts going out with some guy...i don't even remember his name. they were having some rough times or something...she was at my house. so was he. they weren't talking. i had to leave with maggie. they break up. i still like her. but didn't want to make things weird.
Early September. I almost gain courage to start talking to her about a relationship. She mentions a guy by the name of Pat Good. I get crushed. she goes out with him. I still like her.
First half of school year. She told me a lot about how pat can be an asshole. i hated him thinking she could do better. i could be better. I finally met him though. and he grew on me, but still hated when he made her sad. I still like her.
Now. Pat and Joanna broke up. over the course of the last few months i realize that i care about joanna so much and for the last week or so we have spent almost every night together. i feel so strongly for her. and I love her, but I am not sure to what extent right now. Her and Sean met, Sean knew of my feelings for her. He made me think he was going to help me get Joanna, even though at the same time I wasn't sure if it was a smart move. They start talking online. and now are probably on a date as i am typing this.
this on top of so many other things is making me a very unhappy guy.
at the same time though.
joanna and i have something so special that i don't think her and sean or any other guy can have with her. so neener neener to them.
i don't know what i'm doing.
i know that joanna and i will be together forever in the sense that we are going to be there for each other without question.
i love her to no end.
more than i love anyone else
platonic or not.
we are together in our hearts and most safe when laying side by side.