fic: true courage
Title: True Courage
Fandom: Doctor Who
Author: just_drifting_6
Pairings/Characters: Rose Tyler; Doctor/Rose
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Doomsday
Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to me.
True courage is knowing you're beaten before you start but doing it anyway.
She sat up in her bed and looked over at her bedside table. The clock said 3 am. Her pillow was wet from days of nonstop tears but now they were unable to flow anymore. She stood up and moved to her window. The stars were bright and the moon full and she knew that he was out there somewhere, in a different universe sure, but he was still there, and maybe, just maybe he was thinking of her like she was thinking of him. She smiled and as she climbed back into her bed she was once again able to sleep peacefully with happy memories flooding her dreams.
She stood outside a huge building; canary wharf it was known as to the outside. She didn't want to go in, the last time she was there terrible things had happened. She tried to shake off bad memories as she stepped inside with her father and friend and took her place in this new world.
She sighed as she sat at her desk. She was meant to be sorting files but she found herself staring into space just thinking. Weeks had turned into months but still the pain that lay across her chest was as sharp as it had been when it first appeared. And the memories of that hurtful day stayed fresh in her mind and she was unable to think of the good times they had had but only of the bad. Her life was a lost cause. She was never going to get better, to heal. Jackie had said to give it time but she knew that time wouldn't help. He had made too much of a mark on her and she was never going to recover from the spell he had cast on her. But still she would try, even if it was just for her family, to keep them happy. She would try she promised herself.
Trying wasn't working, especially not today. Her family had bought it, they thought she was coping. Shows how much they knew. Inside she was broken, she had been for a year now and the brake never stopped hurting. Occasionally it would dim and she would be able to forget. But today it reared its ugly head and made her curl up in a ball just to keep herself from falling apart. Because today was the anniversary of the day she had died. Not literally, her family still thought she was alive, but inside she was dead. She tried so hard to revive herself but it was no use. She was dead, able only to be helped by the one doctor that would never return. And so she lay, facing the wall where it had all ended and giving up inside. She had tried, she had truly tried and no one could say she hadn't but it was just too hard. Living a half life was just too hard and so it had to end.
Jackie looked over at her daughter, she seemed happy enough, but what was really going on inside her? No one knew. She would never open up. It had been a long time. Almost a year and she hoped that Rose had gotten over him. She hoped but she knew it couldn't really be true, they were like two parts of a puzzle. They fitted each other perfectly and to loose someone like that was hard, she knew. Maybe Rose would have the same happy ending as she had. Maybe he would come back for her. She sighed, she knew that would never happen and it saddened her because Rose and the Doctor had a special kind of bond. When her first Pete had died she had been heartbroken, but it was nothing to what Rose went through when she lost the Doctor. He wasn't even dead and they weren't even lovers but still it seemed to Jackie as if Rose had lost a part of her. A part that she had never had before she met the Doctor, but a vital part that had been given to him a long time ago, but had never been returned.
She was beaten, badly. It was worse than the normal kind, worse than loosing a game or a bet. She had lost a part of her, and that part could never be returned. But after that long day she had spent in that room she had been able to remember all the good times they had had together and for awhile, to forget the bad. And remembering had made her realize that all he had taught her was being put to the test now. He had taught her never to run away from hurt, to always look on the bright side and never, ever to give up. Because of her remorse and sorrow she had forgotten the precious things he had given her and she had held onto the hurt because she had thought that being happy would have been disrespectful to him when really it was the opposite. And although she was defeated, beaten and battered she still had herself and she wasn't completely dead inside. She still had to try, not for her family but for him and she had to embrace her life and make it work for her. She knew she was beaten but he had taught her to try even if you knew you were going to loose, and that was what she was going to do, she was going to try.
True courage is knowing you're beaten before you start but giving it a go anyway.
Rose Tyler had true courage and she wasn't going to give up.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Author: just_drifting_6
Pairings/Characters: Rose Tyler; Doctor/Rose
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Doomsday
Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to me.
True courage is knowing you're beaten before you start but doing it anyway.
She sat up in her bed and looked over at her bedside table. The clock said 3 am. Her pillow was wet from days of nonstop tears but now they were unable to flow anymore. She stood up and moved to her window. The stars were bright and the moon full and she knew that he was out there somewhere, in a different universe sure, but he was still there, and maybe, just maybe he was thinking of her like she was thinking of him. She smiled and as she climbed back into her bed she was once again able to sleep peacefully with happy memories flooding her dreams.
She stood outside a huge building; canary wharf it was known as to the outside. She didn't want to go in, the last time she was there terrible things had happened. She tried to shake off bad memories as she stepped inside with her father and friend and took her place in this new world.
She sighed as she sat at her desk. She was meant to be sorting files but she found herself staring into space just thinking. Weeks had turned into months but still the pain that lay across her chest was as sharp as it had been when it first appeared. And the memories of that hurtful day stayed fresh in her mind and she was unable to think of the good times they had had but only of the bad. Her life was a lost cause. She was never going to get better, to heal. Jackie had said to give it time but she knew that time wouldn't help. He had made too much of a mark on her and she was never going to recover from the spell he had cast on her. But still she would try, even if it was just for her family, to keep them happy. She would try she promised herself.
Trying wasn't working, especially not today. Her family had bought it, they thought she was coping. Shows how much they knew. Inside she was broken, she had been for a year now and the brake never stopped hurting. Occasionally it would dim and she would be able to forget. But today it reared its ugly head and made her curl up in a ball just to keep herself from falling apart. Because today was the anniversary of the day she had died. Not literally, her family still thought she was alive, but inside she was dead. She tried so hard to revive herself but it was no use. She was dead, able only to be helped by the one doctor that would never return. And so she lay, facing the wall where it had all ended and giving up inside. She had tried, she had truly tried and no one could say she hadn't but it was just too hard. Living a half life was just too hard and so it had to end.
Jackie looked over at her daughter, she seemed happy enough, but what was really going on inside her? No one knew. She would never open up. It had been a long time. Almost a year and she hoped that Rose had gotten over him. She hoped but she knew it couldn't really be true, they were like two parts of a puzzle. They fitted each other perfectly and to loose someone like that was hard, she knew. Maybe Rose would have the same happy ending as she had. Maybe he would come back for her. She sighed, she knew that would never happen and it saddened her because Rose and the Doctor had a special kind of bond. When her first Pete had died she had been heartbroken, but it was nothing to what Rose went through when she lost the Doctor. He wasn't even dead and they weren't even lovers but still it seemed to Jackie as if Rose had lost a part of her. A part that she had never had before she met the Doctor, but a vital part that had been given to him a long time ago, but had never been returned.
She was beaten, badly. It was worse than the normal kind, worse than loosing a game or a bet. She had lost a part of her, and that part could never be returned. But after that long day she had spent in that room she had been able to remember all the good times they had had together and for awhile, to forget the bad. And remembering had made her realize that all he had taught her was being put to the test now. He had taught her never to run away from hurt, to always look on the bright side and never, ever to give up. Because of her remorse and sorrow she had forgotten the precious things he had given her and she had held onto the hurt because she had thought that being happy would have been disrespectful to him when really it was the opposite. And although she was defeated, beaten and battered she still had herself and she wasn't completely dead inside. She still had to try, not for her family but for him and she had to embrace her life and make it work for her. She knew she was beaten but he had taught her to try even if you knew you were going to loose, and that was what she was going to do, she was going to try.
True courage is knowing you're beaten before you start but giving it a go anyway.
Rose Tyler had true courage and she wasn't going to give up.