it was only paper with ink.

[just_below]

Kendall stop on a Braintree train
cicadas and auditions come back
half there, less than half here
home-bound from a shallow victory
and a reminder of many wars, few nobly fought.

wrapped in wool lovingly crafted;
an external reminder of the internal lack,
an external reminder of the half-truths
that sustained us for so long -
fingers bloodied in my creation ritual
almost long-forgotten

the sharp burn of scotch and loss
at the back of my throat;
calling out, climbing up,
reaching out, searing in,
falling up, peering in
out
on
crackled heads hum the whispers to themselves

pages torn and tossed
words that fail
failure in sound
sound in motion,
locked with the ebb and pull of the train
and internal organs that call for retribution
and pray for no regrets

done is done and then what are we
when neither can or cares to see

Harvard stop on a BC train
sever this
remove this
take this, it is yours
and go go out and up (as is mocked)
i want the peace i want the calm
forget this, leave this

missed stops merely missed opportunities
as i stumble to find my way Home

what is Home now without your warmth?
what is safe without your touch
what is left of me or you
that was here inside the Us?

~*~