Tales Of A Time Agency - 21/24
Title: Tales of A Time Agency - 21/24
Rating: 15
Pairings: Jack/Ianto but it’s the Time Agency so expect Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, Ianto/John, Tosh/Mary, John/ OFC, John/the consenting population of the universe……
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: Ianto Jones is thrown into the world of excess of the Time Agency Academy, but will he sink or swim? Especially when the enigmatic Jack Harkness starts looking his way…. In this chapter, Toshiko finds out the truth, whilst Ianto and Jack find themselves growing closer on their journey for retribution…
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though. I will take the credit for Telmaya though; I’m quite fond of her.
Author’s Notes: Well, here’s more TOATA, and once again I am just so sorry for how long it takes me to write these chapters. They take a long time I know, but I will finish this series, and I am hoping to write them a little faster now before I go to University *glee*. Anyways, as always I must take the time to thank the equally beautiful thehubsitter and naddypants , who are the betas who trust I trust completely. And of course, a huge thanks to everyone who has stuck with TOATA for so long. :)
Dedicated to who else? To naddypants , for so much, for her smile, for Fanny Burney and for being able to make me smile more than I sometimes think possible. For thehubsitter for being my trusted friend and for the countless msn hours we clock up. And finally for morgia , for sometimes giving my writing the kick up the arse that it needs.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five A
Chapter Five B
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight A
Chapter Eight B
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven A
Chapter Eleven B
Janto Interlude
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen A
Chapter Eighteen B
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
He was beginning to make a habit of this.
“Ianto?” Her finger’s knocked at the door again, her hand hovering close to the metal expectantly as there was no reply. For five minutes she had stood outside his door, waiting for the answer that never came. Normally this fact alone would not be enough to set her heart drumming at a faster pace than she was used, the muscle powering against her ribcage the longer she waited and heard nothing. But Toshiko had visited Ianto’s quarters four times already over the past two days whilst she had looked for him, and each time she had been greeted only with a heavy handed silence from behind the door. To make matters worse she had tried to call him on his wrist strap whenever she could. But every time she tried she was greeted with the same cold news.
He was out of range.
Toshiko sighed, leaning forward and resting her forehead against the metal of the door. She closed her eyes and for a brief second she found herself pleading that any moment Ianto would open the door, would be stood there looking at her with the same joy and enthusiasm that he always showed. But it was not the case. All that surrounded her was the dense silence of an uninhabited room, and the dull cold of the metal of his door now penetrating the skin of her forehead.
Out of desperation, Toshiko glanced down, her eyes meeting with the electronic lock seated within Ianto’s door. For a moment morals flashed through her thoughts, accompanied by the loyalty and trust that she knew that she had for her friend. Emotions clashed, her intellect thrashing against her own ethics, a drawn out battle lasting mere seconds within the confines of her skull. And yet, at the same time, the care and anxiety of her heart overcame it all. Before she could even stop herself, confident hands were reaching out, her wrist strap pressing against the electronic lock as her delicate fingers typed in sequence after sequence of numbers. She was surprised at how little time it took to break the code, the lock snapping open with a distinctive click, a shining handle submitting to her hand as she pushed it down. It was all so easy, and moments later her eyes were graced with the sight of Ianto’s perfectly ordered bedroom.
The room spoke of him, so much so that it made her heart sting with sadness at first glance. It was all so orderly, neat pile after pile of library books laid upon his desk, even stacked in alphabetical order Tosh noticed with a small laugh. There were ink pens lying neatly beside primitive paper, and Toshiko remembered the many times that she and Ianto had sat in TARA’s library writing with such rudimentary tools rather than typing like everyone else. All too soon they had become a source of ridicule for every other cadet that walked past them, sniggers and hushed laughter never too far behind. And yet, neither Ianto or herself had cared. For what was so beautiful about their friendship was how they both appreciated the finer things in life, the small things that many people never stopped to even notice. They appreciated life itself; the previous human endeavour that had given them the blessings of technology that their society now possessed. But most of all, they both recognised that some practices, though classic, did not deserve to be so easily forgotten all together…
Only when Toshiko’s eyes fell upon her own name, lying there on Ianto’s bed in his soft and gentle handwriting, did she awaken from her trance like memories. Quickly she strode towards the bed, sitting down and scooping up the paper between her fingertips. With shaking hands she unfolded it gently, slowly, as if in fear of what might be written within. She knew what she feared, knew deep in her heart that the terror she felt for Ianto was in some ways too genuine to be misplaced. But at the same time, a part of her mind refused to believe any of her fears. He had promised her, swore to her that he would forget Darko, would never try to find him and risk his life like that. And now Toshiko was suddenly facing the reality that Ianto might have broken that sole promise he had made to her, and on the cusp of such a realisation, Tosh felt almost overwhelmed by the anxiety now raging through her nervous system. Selfishly, it was no longer just for Ianto, but for herself too. After all if Ianto had broken that promise…then just how little did her friendship mean to him? Really?
Toshie,
If you’re reading this, well then you’ve done exactly what I expected. You worry too much, I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again now. I don’t deserve you; don’t deserve you to care so much about me. And yet you do. I don’t think I’ve ever really thanked you for it either, so maybe I should do that now. The truth is Tosh: I’m never going to get the chance to say any of this to you again. Not like this. You won’t see me again; I can say that with certainty. Gods, its one of the only things I can actually be certain of right now. Because, even if I survive what I’m about to do, I won’t be coming back to TARA.
You don’t understand, I don’t expect you to. But at the same time, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. Truly. I promised you that I wouldn’t do this, and even worse I made that promise knowing that I couldn’t keep it. But I couldn’t watch you worry about me, couldn’t see it break you. Maybe that’s selfish, but please, don’t hate me for it. I didn’t tell you about this because I knew that you’d try to stop me, hell, you might have even succeeded. But I couldn’t let you Tosh, because I know, deep down, that I have to do this. For ten years this thing has dominated my life, and now I have the chance to finally end it, one way or the other. I know the risks, I’ve accepted them and now I know that even if the very worst happens I will have at least tried. I know that you’ll never see this the way I do but just trust me Tosh. I would rather die doing this then be haunted by all these ghosts for the rest of my life.
I’m sorry, but you have to let me go. Don’t forget me, but just realise that with all the good intentions in the world, some things you simply can’t change. I wish it didn’t have to be like this, but I guess I’m just one of those things.
You’ll be angry, I know, and you deserve answers, I know that too. But to explain why I have done this, first I have to give you a choice. Do you remember when we used to sit in the Library and talk about choices? About how they were the one thing that gave us freedom, and even in TARA, there were still choices, no matter how small and we just had to find them? This is one of those times Tosh. I’m giving you a choice. There’s a data chip on my bed next to this note, and on it is all the information you need to at least understand a little about what I’ve done, why I’ve left, and why I will never return to TARA. I could have told you about this before, but then I would have stripped you of the right to choose your own future. Because Tosh, the information on that chip, it will change how you see the Time Agency, just like how it altered everything for me. I want you to know that before you look at the chip. If you want to stay here, with Owen, to live the life that we have been promised for the past year, then burn the chip, throw it away and never think of it again. It’s a tough choice, and I’m sorry for giving it to you, but my loyalty as your friend means that I have to do this. You deserve to have this choice, and I know whatever decision you make will be the right one. I trust you Tosh, do what you think is right.
I’m sorry. I wish that I could have done this another way, said goodbye properly, but I’m a coward. You’ve been like the sister I lost Tosh and leaving that was by no means easy. Believe me. You mean so much to me, and I will never forget you for it. I’m just sorry I had to do this to you. Just know that I’m not alone in this. Jack has come with me, despite me telling him not too. I know you don’t trust him, but I do, more than anything else right now. He’s in this with me, and I’m not sure how much of a comfort that will be to you, but at least you know that I am not alone. I wish there was more I could say, but there’s nothing I can do to make this right. Just know that I love you Tosh, and remember it. Please?
Ianto
Toshiko’s grip was tightening, the paper crinkling within her grasp. Ianto was right, she was angry, but strangely, not at him. She was livid with herself, wrath bubbling away in her stomach, intoxicated with adrenaline and a sudden rush of blood. She blamed herself. She should have seen all this coming, should have known that she would not be able to “cure” Ianto of his obsession with a mere scattering of words. How could she have been so stupid not to see this? Not to think for a second that her friend might not be as content with his life as he seemed? Her nails were digging into her palms now, punctuating her every feeling of malcontent as Ianto’s words crumpled beneath her fingertips without care. None of it mattered, because in an instant, Toshiko had lost the closest friend that she had ever had.
Picking it up swiftly, Toshiko’s thoughts were quickly transferred to the data chip that Ianto had left her, the sadistic choice that was now the only memory she could conjure of the man. She was biting her lip hard as she twirled the little chunk of metal through her fingers, already beginning to feel the skin become sensitive and worried. In her mind, Ianto’s words drew out a constant symphony, repeating themselves over and over until the sound seemed to be so loud that it stopped her very thoughts. An impenetrable barrier of false, regurgitated words and writhing questions. The sheer number of them created a persistent drone within her mind, numbing all other thoughts, overwhelming them into non-existence. And yet through all this white noise one particular question rang louder, truer than all the rest.
How could one little chip change my life?
It was cruel for Ianto to dangle such a choice in front of her. After all, he too shared Toshiko’s curiosity for the unknown, for the unresolved. Surely he would know that her mind would be unable to resist such a thing, such an object that promised so much life changing information. Yet even if he had known all that, Ianto had still left her with this one choice, the one moment of eternity where she either would succumb to her curiosity and need for the truth, or finally resign herself to the more passive path that she often craved. A path that always felt so close, and yet so far away all at the same time.
Today was not a day for Toshiko to be passive. Not when her heart was filled with such conflicting emotion, full of so much self hatred, self pity and the almighty fear for her friend’s safety. At that moment, the one thing that promised to numb all that pain in her chest was the little data chip in the palm of her hand. For that tiny piece of metal promised so much, promised information, a resolution, understanding. And as she gently pressed the chip into her wrist strap, Toshiko’s new found resolve drove her on to find out the truth, no matter where it might lead her…
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“Are you cold?” Jack smiled softly, looking over his shoulder towards Ianto. Around them night had begun to descend, a soft chill upon the air, catching their breath into perfect crystalline clouds which drifted out onto the air above them. “I should have this fire set up soon.” He nodded towards the shallow pit in the forest floor at his feet, within it a small, shimmering orange orb was sitting snugly. Soft, warm light flickered out from the glittering sphere, bringing with it the occasional first dash of warmth to Ianto’s features, flickering shadows dancing across his torso in swift, darting movements.
“I’m fine.” Ianto forced a smile, pulling the thick blanket around his shoulders a little closer to his body, shielding his neck from the steadily cooling air. Shuddering slightly, he glanced around them, giving their rapidly dimming surroundings an untrusting look, a part of him wishing that he was back within the confines of the freighter, a feeling he never thought he would encounter. For all of it’s short comings, at least his time on the ship had been secure, the contents of his room familiar. But now that he had suddenly found himself thrown out into the unknown wilds that were Bryce - 7, everything just felt that bit more unsure again in Ianto’s mind. And it was always this uncertainty that the ghosts and fears from his past dwelt in, fed on, the same thing that made them grow so large that they were soon able to overcome him. And if this growing fear and worry was not large enough as it was, the mere thought that his betrayer might be lurking anywhere in the shadows of this strange new world only amplified Ianto’s dark thoughts further.
The arboreal wastes of Bryce - 7 had wrong footed them both immediately. They had researched the planet yes, but only when they first stepped out into the lush forests did Jack and Ianto truly realise the enormity of their task. There were no such forests on Adronax Minor, and the deep green landscape was a far cry from both Salax - 9 and Boeshane. Their short “scout round” of the area had quickly morphed into something else as a result, a difficult slog as they cut through dense undergrowth at a painfully slow pace. It had been then when Jack had given Ianto a soft, exhausted nod and told him that Darko’s genetic trace was registering from within the heavy, overbearing mountain range that dominated the horizon. It had been that moment when both men realised that their journey towards Darko was by no means over. For five hours they had trampled through the forest, forcing themselves past bushes and branches until the world around them became too impenetrably dark and the sun disappeared from view above the tops of the trees. Foot sore, exhausted and down trodden, Jack had finally slowed their pace, dropping their bags down onto the forest floor and beginning to set up their makeshift camp as quickly as possible.
Ianto could still feel the heavy, fatigue induced feeling swamp his calf muscles as he sat there, subconsciously leaning in closer to the fire in a desperate move to attain more warmth. He could feel his eyes closing with exhaustion, and at the same time his thoughts were too active for him to ever fully drift into any type of satisfying slumber. So instead, he watched Jack’s back intently, waiting until the other cadet turned round and moved to sit beside before speaking out. “Aren’t you scared Jack?”
“About what?”
“This place.” Ianto sighed, glancing at softly. “It’s alien to us both.”
“It’s different…yeah.” Jack smirked, finding his own blanket and wrapping it around himself. “But we’re safe.” He nodded quickly over to the nearby perimeters of the clearing, to where he had positioned one of four small metal crescents into the soil. They were, as Jack had explained earlier, crude force field generators, devices which emitted a high frequency pulse to deter anyone or anything from entering the perimeter. “Nothing’s going to be coming near us in a hurry.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“That optimism thing again, Ianto.” He laughed softly, flashing the younger cadet a reassuring, yet slightly jerky smile as he too shuddered from the cold. “Besides, you and me, we’re survivors right?”
“Speak for yourself.”
“You had to take care of yourself from as young as ten years old…if that’s not surviving then I don’t know what is.” Jack sighed softly.
“You grew up alone too…”
“Not quite alone.” Jack smiled weakly.
“How do you mean?”
“3 weeks after the attack, a small team of time agents arrived on Boeshane, they needed parts, had found themselves on the wrong side of the galaxy. They had no idea about the attack, but they sure as hell saw the aftermath. One of them, Jaymere, found me, still living in the wrecked house my parents had been murdered in.”
“And?”
“He took me with them when they left, said he could do with a good kid who was willing to work hard.” Ianto watched as Jack’s softly illuminated features curved into a fond smile. “He really did care, was as close to a Dad as I could ever really have had then. As soon as I turned twenty he got me a place at TARA as a cadet.”
“Do you still see him?”
“No…” Jack paused, sighing again. “He was killed in action during my first year of training. Or at least that’s what they told me. For all I know the Time Agency could have had him murdered too.”
“I’m sorry Jack…”
“Don’t be…it was a long time ago, and he really wasn’t the kind of guy to have wanted teams of mourners sobbing over him.”
“But still…he meant something to you.”
“Still does. Being dead doesn’t change that does it?”
“No…you’re right.” Ianto nodded softly, visions of his father fluttering in front of his mind’s eye. “It makes it harder though.”
“Only if you want it to.” As Ianto looked into Jack’s eyes he saw a brief glimpse of warmth, of wisdom and most of all of care. “But as well as remembering what you’ve lost, you have to remember what you gained. Be thankful for it.” He smiled softly, positioning his now empty bag behind his head and lying down, his eyes fixed on the canopy and the small smattering of stars that were just visible through the leaves. “It’s strange, but I’d give anything to be back on Boeshane right now.”
“Tell me about it.” Ianto nodded quickly, adjusting his position so that he could lie beside Jack.
“There’s not much to tell. There’s sand for miles, just the same bright yellow sand. But if you walked for long enough you’d sometimes find a lagoon, an oasis, and gods, the water was the clearest you could ever imagine.” He laughed softly to himself. “My Dad knew all the best places; he’d lived there all his life, my Mum too. They’d known each other since they were kids.”
“Were they…you know, monogamous?”
“Completely.” Jack nodded without hesitation. “It was the norm for us. But the world Jaymere introduced me to, that wasn’t. There’d always be someone new leaving his quarters every morning. I guess the same attitude got drilled into me too, I forgot all about what my Mum used to tell me about falling in love.” He laughed. “Maybe it’s just us time agents who are too scared to be monogamous.”
“My Dad wasn’t.” Ianto added softly, closing his eyes. “He was convinced that my Mum was the only one out there for him.”
“Is that what you believe then?” Jack paused, his features uncomfortable when Ianto finally opened his eyes. “That you only get one love?”
“No. One at a time maybe, but not just the one. I do think that you can meet someone who makes the rest of the world pale in comparison though.”
“One person who knocks your entire world off kilter.” Jack smiled quickly. “It’s a nice idea at least.”
“Yeah.” Ianto nodded softly, ignoring the voice in his head that was screaming at him to finally just tell Jack that he was the one who had made everyone else seem so insufficient. But Ianto’s throat was clogged, dry, unable to utter the words that his heart wanted to yell out to the heavens.
“Once this is all done…” Jack began slowly, his voice inquisitive and his eyes not quite meeting Ianto’s. “Say you’ll come back to Boeshane with me.”
“You’re not going back to TARA?”
“Not without you.” The older cadet smiled softly. “I’ve been away from home for too long. I want to see my old house again, see my family’s graves. I tried to forget them but if meeting you has taught me anything, it’s that that is impossible.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not a bad thing.” He reached over and gave Ianto’s forearm a gentle squeeze. “So you’ll come with me?”
“I have nowhere else to go.”
“Oh thanks.” Jack smirked. “That doesn’t make me feel like a last resort.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Ianto laughed, nudging him gently in the side from beneath the wrappings of his blanket. “Of course I’ll come with you.”
“Good.” Jack’s reply was quiet, his features pensive as he continued to stare up at the forest canopy above them. His hand still rested on top of Ianto’s arm, although its grip was gentler, softer now as Jack continued to stare blankly upwards. Ianto was drawn to watching him, his eyes desperately searching Jack’s face in an attempt to try and understand what he was thinking. “Yan?”
“Yes Jack?”
“Do you ever…well no, have you ever…-Umm…” Jack sighed, turning his head and looking at Ianto hopelessly. “Have you ever thought about you and me being like our parents? Monogamous I mean. Together?”
“It depends.” Ianto shrugged quickly, Jack’s words making his heart quiver within his chest in a mixture of both shock and contentment. He paused a great deal, choosing his next words with care. “Have you?”
“Yeah.”
“And did you like that idea?”
“Maybe.” Jack smiled softly. “I mean…I’d try it, if it was what you wanted.” He paused, worrying his lip slightly as his grip on Ianto’s arm grew tighter again. “But I don’t want to hurt you Yan…”
“I don’t want to hurt you either.” Ianto laughed. “But if it helps, I trust you Jack.”
“Y-you do?
“Yes.” The younger cadet smiled quickly. “You’ve changed Jack, you know you have.”
“But have I changed enough?”
“I think so.” Ianto nodded, glancing upwards so that he could no longer see Jack’s features. “Tell me honestly, how many people have you slept with since you’ve been sleeping with me?”
“None.” Jack sighed softly, before laughing to himself in realisation. “I guess I’ve been monogamous without realising it.”
“And that’s why I trust you.” Ianto smiled, finally returning his gaze to Jack. “Because that was your choice. That night we first had sex, I had resigned myself to being one of your many. It was you who changed that. Not me.”
“Maybe…” Jack paused, rubbing at his tired eyes with one hand. “For something so simple, this feels very complicated.”
“I think that’s our fault, not monogamy’s.” Ianto smirked, inching closer to Jack partly out of choice, and partly out of the necessity for more warmth. “You and me seem to complicate things.”
“Is that bad?”
“Probably. But I honestly don’t care.” Ianto mumbled, pushing his head to rest against Jack’s shoulder, his mind finally silenced enough for him to contemplate sleep.
“Neither do I.” Jack breathed, his head resting on top of Ianto’s as he too closed his eyes. “Night Yan.”
It was funny; Ianto could not help but think as he felt Jack fall asleep beside him, what had happened between them that night. Somewhere, under the alien stars of a new world they had both confronted feelings that they had always had back at TARA. But the more Ianto thought about it, the more natural their situation felt. After all, his father had always told him that life was the thing that happened when you least expected it. And that was just what was happening to them. Here, amongst all the unknown, on a trip that could be their undoing, Jack and Ianto were actually thinking of each other, making plans for their future. Something that the boundaries, traditions and walls of TARA never let flourish.
For the first time in years, both Ianto and Jack were free to be their own men…
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She hated them.
The occasional tear had fallen down her cheek, and yet Toshiko knew that the grief in her heart was purely sympathetic. In an instant she had experienced an insight into Ianto’s own personal torment, had realised just why he needed to leave her, leave TARA, leave his whole future behind in an instant. For they had done the unthinkable. Murdered his father, and unwittingly caused a whole chain of events which lead to the deaths of so many other innocents in the process. And even worse, it was so apparent that the Time Agency had done this countless times before.
Ianto had been right; the data chip had changed Toshiko’s life. How could she continue to work for an agency that could be so cold, so heartless? How could she continue to strive for a life that suddenly felt so wrong? So wicked? So twisted? How could she turn a blind eye and pretend as though everything was just as it should have been?
As she left Ianto’s room, Toshiko held both the data chip and Ianto’s letter in her palm. The once crinkled paper was now flat, straightened out in Tosh’s efforts to at least let go of some of the anger she felt. Because suddenly, Toshiko understood that little more, no longer hated herself or Ianto for what had happened. For the events that now drove Ianto’s life we so much bigger than just them alone now, they were imposing, and Toshiko couldn’t imagine a life that was forced to live within their shadow. Instead of resenting him, she now pitied her friend. Wished that somehow she could put everything right for him more than anything else in the world. But this understanding had come at a price, one which Toshiko could not ignore.
Amongst all this new information and emotion, one thought remained in Toshiko’s head, dominating her thoughts and overbearing everything else. She knew what she had to do. Just like Ianto before her, Toshiko would have to leave TARA, leave this life behind her before guilt crept up upon her and claimed her life for it’s own. For now she knew the truth, Toshiko was convinced that her time at TARA would have to end. She only hoped that once confronted with the truth himself, Owen would choose to do the same…
So….as always I hope that you all enjoyed another trip into TOATA land. And as always, I am here to ask for your comments to let me know what you think. But again, like always, you have read this far, and for that I thank you so much!!
Just Being Me a.k.a Siany
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Want more TOATA? Click here for chapter 22!