So Its Goodbye Again - Rewind 16/?
Title: So It’s Goodbye Again - Rewind 16/?
Rating: 15 maybe?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain John
Chapters: Sequel to “Rediscovery.”
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: It’s time for Ianto to take the plunge and leave this parallel world, but will he ever get home?
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though. Title belongs to Vertical Horizon.
Author’s Notes: A quick apology, if this chapter is a little rushed, I got Le Block (again!) and once I got started, I just kept going. Even so, I hope this fic lives up to your high expectations! Big thanks to my wonderfully supportive beta and pally 2nd_toshiko and to all the people who have stuck with Rewind! As always any comments I receive are loved and adored. Thanks :)
Chapter One: So Much For My Happy Ending
Chapter Two: Lost But Not Found
Chapter Three: Call Me When You’re Sober
Chapter Four: In The Cold Light Of Morning
Chapter Five: Remember Me
Chapter Six: Chasing Parallels
Chapter Seven: Who Am I?
Chapter Eight: I love you, I’ll kill you
Chapter Nine: Where Have The Good Men Gone?
Chapter Ten: Sleeping With The Enemy
Chapter Eleven: Cross Roads
Chapter Twelve: My Past, Your Future, Our Present
Chapter Thirteen: Memories Keep You Near
Chapter Fourteen: Turning Point
Chapter Fifteen: Rediscovery
Dedicated to 2nd_toshiko and naddypants , for making this writing this such a great experience! Shout out to skullgirl013 , for being behind rewind!
“Owen?” Gwen’s voice was soft, almost hushed as she approached the doctor. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” The young doctor smiled, dropping his scalpel idly. “Do you want to come down here though? I’m up to my neck in fish guts.”
Gwen nodded and descended into the autopsy bay, sitting on one of the bottom steps, watching the young doctor as he threw a cloth over the body and stripped off his gloves. “What can I help you with, Gwen?”
“It’s Jack.” Her words were blunt, both in tone and directness. “I’m worried about him.”
“He’s lost his partner. You can’t expect him to be acting normal.” Owen was equally blunt, immediately knowing where this was going. Tosh hadn’t wanted to tell Gwen about what had happened, and neither had he. But after that first week passed, they realised that Ianto’s illness excuse was wearing thin.
“I know that. But what do we do, Owen? He won’t talk to anyone.”
“I don’t know.” The Doctor sighed, shrugging off his lab coat and then sitting beside her. “I’ve offered him antidepressants, but he just blanks me. There’s not much else I can do.”
“There has to be something!” Gwen hit her leg in frustration, fist clenched. “Can’t we try to cheer him up? Get him out of the Hub?”
“He won’t leave his office. Tosh and I have tried, believe me. He just sits there, pouring over those co-ordinates.”
“He won’t give up.” She sighed, giving Owen a weak smile. “I know I wouldn’t if it was Rhys.”
“I think we’d all do the same. Grieve and regret. The truth is you and me, we would get over it, because, well we’d have to, it’s biologically programmed into us. But with Jack……..what worries me is that he has the whole of eternity to grieve over this. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he did……”
Why was it that seconds were stubborn? When you carried on your life as if they weren’t there, they moved quickly, passed swiftly and time moved on. But if you sat down and watched them, kept a vigil on time itself, they would barely move, not until you shifted your gaze.
Or at least, that was how Ianto felt. Ever since John had come back from Jack’s flat he’d been waiting, feeling the knot in his stomach grow tighter, feeling it almost pulse inside him. He could feel anticipation drum at the back of his brain, feel it tap impatiently at his consciousness like a child. Jack had done it. He had done it and he could go home……
“Ianto…” The Captain’s voice had been soft, almost caring as they’d spoken that night. “There are risks. It’s not been tested. If it works at all, there’s a chance you could end up anywhere.”
“But if the co-ordinates are right it should take me home?”
“If the wrist strap is working, in theory, yes. But this is all a bit beyond theory.”
“Then I’m doing it.” Ianto nodded, his voice more determined this time. “If there’s a chance, I’m taking it. I want to go home, John.”
“I know. But I want you to know the risks.”
“I appreciate that. But I think we both know that they won’t make a difference.”
Risks. They were something as normal as paper work at Torchwood. Everyday was in itself a risk, that, despite all your best efforts, you forgot they were there most of the time. Ianto was used to risking his life. He’d had guns held to his head, he’d run from monsters, he’d been beaten and tortured, but in some ways, none of it was as bad as the risk he felt he was about to undertake. Danger was usually unexpected, it caught you off guard and you had to act on your feet. But this danger, it was expected, Ianto knew it was coming. And it turned out that the waiting was the worst part. Like awaiting execution, Ianto was hurtling towards an event that he no control over. Not anymore….
Standing in Jack’s living room, Ianto felt sick. His head was spinning, his eyes barely focusing. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, feel blood throb through his veins. He was split. His head was ready; it was conscious of the risks, but willing to go through whatever it had to just to get him home. But his body was rebelling, it was showing just how much it didn’t want to risk anything, making him feel so ill, pleading with him to turn back, to say no. Closing his eyes, Ianto tried to centre himself, before stumbling, his legs weak below him.
“Hey…” John’s arms had caught him, holding him upright to face him. “You okay?”
“No…” Ianto breathed in return, opening his eyes, feeling the light scorch his retinas. “I’m scared, John.”
“So am I.” The Captain smiled, steadying him so he could stand up unaided, reaching down and straightening out the younger man’s jacket, smoothing out the creases. “But you’re not alone, Ianto. I’m going with you.”
“You’re leaving, then?” Jack’s voice rang out as he entered the room, holding the wrist strap in his hands. His voice was fragile, but still audible, blue eyes fixed on John’s. Nothing else mattered…
“What else can I do? If it goes wrong, he’ll be alone. He needs me.” The Captain paused, swallowing hard. “I owe it to him, Jack. He never asked for any of this.”
“I understand.” Jack’s voice was barely there, as he turned his back on them, shielding his emotions from view as he always did. “I’ll programme in the teleport base codes and double check the co-ordinates. You’ll be ready to go in a few minutes.”
Glancing to his left, Ianto looked at the man beside him with new eyes. He could feel it, sense the bond between the two Captains, and despite all of that, John was giving it all up for him. He was losing a Jack that could love him, just for Ianto. This wasn’t the John he’d known, wasn’t the man who had kidnapped him, or the man who had tried to con Torchwood. This was John Hart, the man before he was trained to ignore his heart. Ianto had changed him, changed them both. He smiled, his mind feeling clearer. His time in this world hadn’t been wasted after all…
“John….” The Welshman’s voice was soft, as he reached out, touching his shoulder. “I forgive you.”
“What?”
“I forgive you. For bringing me here.”
“Why?” The Captain returned his gaze, his features confused.
“Because you’re not the same man anymore. You deserve forgiveness.” Ianto paused, searching for the right words, his throat dry. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I do. I got you into this, and now-”
“No John. I’ve forgiven you; I don’t hold anything against you now. You owe me nothing.” The younger man tried desperately to drum his words into the Captain with a squeeze of his shoulder. “I want you to remember that.”
“I’m still coming with you.”
“No, you’re not.” Ianto smiled, rubbing at his shoulder almost affectionately. “You have the chance of something here, with him.” He nodded towards Jack. “It’s funny. When I first came here, I thought that I was supposed to save him. But I was wrong. It wasn’t me, it was you.”
“I don’t-”
“Remember what I said about fate? This was all supposed to happen. You are supposed to save him.” He reached out with his free hand, holding John’s other shoulder, forcing him to look him in the eye. “I’m taking enough risks for the both of us.”
“I would have come with you. I’d have looked after you, stayed with you.”
“Like a fairy godmother?”
“Like a fucking fairy godmother.” They both laughed, although the noise was quiet, saddened. “Really though. I don’t make a habit of regretting, but what I did to you….what I did to Jack, it was-”
“I know, John.” Ianto smiled softly, bringing his face closer to his. “And I forgive you. For everything.”
“Thank you.”
“Let yourself love, let yourself live. If you insist on paying me back, then do it that way. Live the life you deserve.” Moving forward gently, Ianto bent his head, kissing John softly on the lips. Part of him didn’t want to let go of such a bittersweet goodbye, such a bittersweet man. “Clear?” Ianto quipped, pulling away.
“Crystal.” John nodded, before looking over to Jack, who was stood by them, holding out the wrist strap. He stayed silent as John took it from him, strapping it carefully to Ianto’s wrist.
“It’s all programmed. Hold this, the stabiliser.” He pointed down to a small red button. “And then when you’re ready, press this down.” He gave the younger man’s arm a brief squeeze. “Good luck, eye candy. And……good bye.”
“Thank you……. thank you both of you. Jack, I never thanked you for fixing it-”
“Always polite, eh, Jones?” The Captain chuckled, stepping forward so that he could whisper into the Welshman’s ear. “You don’t need to thank me. Not after everything you’ve done for me.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Ianto’s cheek.
“I’ve done nothing.”
“You’ve done more than you give yourself credit for.” Jack smiled, eyes glistening as he stepped away. A look that was pure Jack. “Just promise one thing though.”
“What?”
“Stay with your Jack. He needs you. More than you know.”
Ianto forced a nod, watching them both back away. He hadn’t the time to worry about Jack’s words, to realise that he could never really keep that promise. His head was spinning again, his eyes whirling in their sockets as he forced himself to focus onto the wrist strap. Breathing deeply, trembling fingers, held down the stabiliser before moving to press the other button. Closing his eyes, Ianto pressed it, feeling a stab of energy pin him to the spot where he was stood. As orange flames began to appear around him, writhing across his vision and forming a tight circle around him, Ianto looked up at the two Captains stood side by side in front of him. He grinned and yelled ‘thank you’ one more time hoping they would hear. Then, there was the familiar rush as Ianto’s consciousness was driven out of him, and his vision faded away into black……
So, like usual, I shall sit here and ask for your feedback, especially now that things are possibly drawing to a close. If you can, comment, because they keep me going! Thank you for supporting me though! :D
Just Being Me
xxxxx
Click here for the final chapter, Bring Him Home
Rating: 15 maybe?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain John
Chapters: Sequel to “Rediscovery.”
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: It’s time for Ianto to take the plunge and leave this parallel world, but will he ever get home?
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though. Title belongs to Vertical Horizon.
Author’s Notes: A quick apology, if this chapter is a little rushed, I got Le Block (again!) and once I got started, I just kept going. Even so, I hope this fic lives up to your high expectations! Big thanks to my wonderfully supportive beta and pally 2nd_toshiko and to all the people who have stuck with Rewind! As always any comments I receive are loved and adored. Thanks :)
Chapter One: So Much For My Happy Ending
Chapter Two: Lost But Not Found
Chapter Three: Call Me When You’re Sober
Chapter Four: In The Cold Light Of Morning
Chapter Five: Remember Me
Chapter Six: Chasing Parallels
Chapter Seven: Who Am I?
Chapter Eight: I love you, I’ll kill you
Chapter Nine: Where Have The Good Men Gone?
Chapter Ten: Sleeping With The Enemy
Chapter Eleven: Cross Roads
Chapter Twelve: My Past, Your Future, Our Present
Chapter Thirteen: Memories Keep You Near
Chapter Fourteen: Turning Point
Chapter Fifteen: Rediscovery
Dedicated to 2nd_toshiko and naddypants , for making this writing this such a great experience! Shout out to skullgirl013 , for being behind rewind!
“Owen?” Gwen’s voice was soft, almost hushed as she approached the doctor. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” The young doctor smiled, dropping his scalpel idly. “Do you want to come down here though? I’m up to my neck in fish guts.”
Gwen nodded and descended into the autopsy bay, sitting on one of the bottom steps, watching the young doctor as he threw a cloth over the body and stripped off his gloves. “What can I help you with, Gwen?”
“It’s Jack.” Her words were blunt, both in tone and directness. “I’m worried about him.”
“He’s lost his partner. You can’t expect him to be acting normal.” Owen was equally blunt, immediately knowing where this was going. Tosh hadn’t wanted to tell Gwen about what had happened, and neither had he. But after that first week passed, they realised that Ianto’s illness excuse was wearing thin.
“I know that. But what do we do, Owen? He won’t talk to anyone.”
“I don’t know.” The Doctor sighed, shrugging off his lab coat and then sitting beside her. “I’ve offered him antidepressants, but he just blanks me. There’s not much else I can do.”
“There has to be something!” Gwen hit her leg in frustration, fist clenched. “Can’t we try to cheer him up? Get him out of the Hub?”
“He won’t leave his office. Tosh and I have tried, believe me. He just sits there, pouring over those co-ordinates.”
“He won’t give up.” She sighed, giving Owen a weak smile. “I know I wouldn’t if it was Rhys.”
“I think we’d all do the same. Grieve and regret. The truth is you and me, we would get over it, because, well we’d have to, it’s biologically programmed into us. But with Jack……..what worries me is that he has the whole of eternity to grieve over this. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he did……”
Why was it that seconds were stubborn? When you carried on your life as if they weren’t there, they moved quickly, passed swiftly and time moved on. But if you sat down and watched them, kept a vigil on time itself, they would barely move, not until you shifted your gaze.
Or at least, that was how Ianto felt. Ever since John had come back from Jack’s flat he’d been waiting, feeling the knot in his stomach grow tighter, feeling it almost pulse inside him. He could feel anticipation drum at the back of his brain, feel it tap impatiently at his consciousness like a child. Jack had done it. He had done it and he could go home……
“Ianto…” The Captain’s voice had been soft, almost caring as they’d spoken that night. “There are risks. It’s not been tested. If it works at all, there’s a chance you could end up anywhere.”
“But if the co-ordinates are right it should take me home?”
“If the wrist strap is working, in theory, yes. But this is all a bit beyond theory.”
“Then I’m doing it.” Ianto nodded, his voice more determined this time. “If there’s a chance, I’m taking it. I want to go home, John.”
“I know. But I want you to know the risks.”
“I appreciate that. But I think we both know that they won’t make a difference.”
Risks. They were something as normal as paper work at Torchwood. Everyday was in itself a risk, that, despite all your best efforts, you forgot they were there most of the time. Ianto was used to risking his life. He’d had guns held to his head, he’d run from monsters, he’d been beaten and tortured, but in some ways, none of it was as bad as the risk he felt he was about to undertake. Danger was usually unexpected, it caught you off guard and you had to act on your feet. But this danger, it was expected, Ianto knew it was coming. And it turned out that the waiting was the worst part. Like awaiting execution, Ianto was hurtling towards an event that he no control over. Not anymore….
Standing in Jack’s living room, Ianto felt sick. His head was spinning, his eyes barely focusing. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, feel blood throb through his veins. He was split. His head was ready; it was conscious of the risks, but willing to go through whatever it had to just to get him home. But his body was rebelling, it was showing just how much it didn’t want to risk anything, making him feel so ill, pleading with him to turn back, to say no. Closing his eyes, Ianto tried to centre himself, before stumbling, his legs weak below him.
“Hey…” John’s arms had caught him, holding him upright to face him. “You okay?”
“No…” Ianto breathed in return, opening his eyes, feeling the light scorch his retinas. “I’m scared, John.”
“So am I.” The Captain smiled, steadying him so he could stand up unaided, reaching down and straightening out the younger man’s jacket, smoothing out the creases. “But you’re not alone, Ianto. I’m going with you.”
“You’re leaving, then?” Jack’s voice rang out as he entered the room, holding the wrist strap in his hands. His voice was fragile, but still audible, blue eyes fixed on John’s. Nothing else mattered…
“What else can I do? If it goes wrong, he’ll be alone. He needs me.” The Captain paused, swallowing hard. “I owe it to him, Jack. He never asked for any of this.”
“I understand.” Jack’s voice was barely there, as he turned his back on them, shielding his emotions from view as he always did. “I’ll programme in the teleport base codes and double check the co-ordinates. You’ll be ready to go in a few minutes.”
Glancing to his left, Ianto looked at the man beside him with new eyes. He could feel it, sense the bond between the two Captains, and despite all of that, John was giving it all up for him. He was losing a Jack that could love him, just for Ianto. This wasn’t the John he’d known, wasn’t the man who had kidnapped him, or the man who had tried to con Torchwood. This was John Hart, the man before he was trained to ignore his heart. Ianto had changed him, changed them both. He smiled, his mind feeling clearer. His time in this world hadn’t been wasted after all…
“John….” The Welshman’s voice was soft, as he reached out, touching his shoulder. “I forgive you.”
“What?”
“I forgive you. For bringing me here.”
“Why?” The Captain returned his gaze, his features confused.
“Because you’re not the same man anymore. You deserve forgiveness.” Ianto paused, searching for the right words, his throat dry. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I do. I got you into this, and now-”
“No John. I’ve forgiven you; I don’t hold anything against you now. You owe me nothing.” The younger man tried desperately to drum his words into the Captain with a squeeze of his shoulder. “I want you to remember that.”
“I’m still coming with you.”
“No, you’re not.” Ianto smiled, rubbing at his shoulder almost affectionately. “You have the chance of something here, with him.” He nodded towards Jack. “It’s funny. When I first came here, I thought that I was supposed to save him. But I was wrong. It wasn’t me, it was you.”
“I don’t-”
“Remember what I said about fate? This was all supposed to happen. You are supposed to save him.” He reached out with his free hand, holding John’s other shoulder, forcing him to look him in the eye. “I’m taking enough risks for the both of us.”
“I would have come with you. I’d have looked after you, stayed with you.”
“Like a fairy godmother?”
“Like a fucking fairy godmother.” They both laughed, although the noise was quiet, saddened. “Really though. I don’t make a habit of regretting, but what I did to you….what I did to Jack, it was-”
“I know, John.” Ianto smiled softly, bringing his face closer to his. “And I forgive you. For everything.”
“Thank you.”
“Let yourself love, let yourself live. If you insist on paying me back, then do it that way. Live the life you deserve.” Moving forward gently, Ianto bent his head, kissing John softly on the lips. Part of him didn’t want to let go of such a bittersweet goodbye, such a bittersweet man. “Clear?” Ianto quipped, pulling away.
“Crystal.” John nodded, before looking over to Jack, who was stood by them, holding out the wrist strap. He stayed silent as John took it from him, strapping it carefully to Ianto’s wrist.
“It’s all programmed. Hold this, the stabiliser.” He pointed down to a small red button. “And then when you’re ready, press this down.” He gave the younger man’s arm a brief squeeze. “Good luck, eye candy. And……good bye.”
“Thank you……. thank you both of you. Jack, I never thanked you for fixing it-”
“Always polite, eh, Jones?” The Captain chuckled, stepping forward so that he could whisper into the Welshman’s ear. “You don’t need to thank me. Not after everything you’ve done for me.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Ianto’s cheek.
“I’ve done nothing.”
“You’ve done more than you give yourself credit for.” Jack smiled, eyes glistening as he stepped away. A look that was pure Jack. “Just promise one thing though.”
“What?”
“Stay with your Jack. He needs you. More than you know.”
Ianto forced a nod, watching them both back away. He hadn’t the time to worry about Jack’s words, to realise that he could never really keep that promise. His head was spinning again, his eyes whirling in their sockets as he forced himself to focus onto the wrist strap. Breathing deeply, trembling fingers, held down the stabiliser before moving to press the other button. Closing his eyes, Ianto pressed it, feeling a stab of energy pin him to the spot where he was stood. As orange flames began to appear around him, writhing across his vision and forming a tight circle around him, Ianto looked up at the two Captains stood side by side in front of him. He grinned and yelled ‘thank you’ one more time hoping they would hear. Then, there was the familiar rush as Ianto’s consciousness was driven out of him, and his vision faded away into black……
So, like usual, I shall sit here and ask for your feedback, especially now that things are possibly drawing to a close. If you can, comment, because they keep me going! Thank you for supporting me though! :D
Just Being Me
xxxxx
Click here for the final chapter, Bring Him Home