Attacked
So there I was. Innocently walking down the street (in a bit of a rush as didn't have a lot of money for the car park), carrying a sandwich, when I spotted him. I had being seeing them all over the town centre all day and he was looking right at me......."Uh ohs" I thought, better dodge this guy.....but no. He spotted me trying to avoid him and came after me!!!
"Hi there" he says, putting out his left hand...I go to shake it and I'm promptly told that it's bad luck to shake with that hand (so why did you hold it out mister???). Not wanting to bring myself any bad luck I then put out my right hand. "What's your name?" he asks. I stutter my name, trying my hardest to be polite. I also try to tell him that I am in a real hurry to beat the parking meter but he simply says, "Right then, I'll be quick." Again, not wanting to be rude, I try to listen as he rambles on at around 400,000 words a minute. I catch various words such as "We help, need volunteers, houses, central heating, asthma, caused by goverment not spending enough money on housing....("That's because they have important houses in Iraq to build," I think. Well, at least we agreed on one thing) I catch some more random words such as "Donate, £2. " Then I hear, clear as day, "Do you drink??" "Oh yes" I reply. Then hear more words such as "pint a week" and miss the rest because I'm too busy thinking why he said pint- Do I look like the beer type?????" SO then he says "What do you think???" Errrrr..... "I'll give it some thought," I say (well, I'll certainly give the beer thing more thought...) "Oh but what about today He says, looking like me and making me feel like I am the cruelest person in the world. I tell him I'm really sorry but there's the whole no money thing and eventually he believes me.
I run....as fast as I can.......
"Hi there" he says, putting out his left hand...I go to shake it and I'm promptly told that it's bad luck to shake with that hand (so why did you hold it out mister???). Not wanting to bring myself any bad luck I then put out my right hand. "What's your name?" he asks. I stutter my name, trying my hardest to be polite. I also try to tell him that I am in a real hurry to beat the parking meter but he simply says, "Right then, I'll be quick." Again, not wanting to be rude, I try to listen as he rambles on at around 400,000 words a minute. I catch various words such as "We help, need volunteers, houses, central heating, asthma, caused by goverment not spending enough money on housing....("That's because they have important houses in Iraq to build," I think. Well, at least we agreed on one thing) I catch some more random words such as "Donate, £2. " Then I hear, clear as day, "Do you drink??" "Oh yes" I reply. Then hear more words such as "pint a week" and miss the rest because I'm too busy thinking why he said pint- Do I look like the beer type?????" SO then he says "What do you think???" Errrrr..... "I'll give it some thought," I say (well, I'll certainly give the beer thing more thought...) "Oh but what about today He says, looking like me and making me feel like I am the cruelest person in the world. I tell him I'm really sorry but there's the whole no money thing and eventually he believes me.
I run....as fast as I can.......