nighttime rambles
And so college life officially begins tomorrow at 2:30PM
I'm growing up...I am now 18...creepy. It truly feels like only yesterday I was dreading the first day of high school...the butterflies in the acidic pit of my stomache at the thought of meeting new people, perhaps making new friends. The prospect of it is troubling enough to cause a panic attack. I hate social situations. And what's the point of making friends anyway? I made friends in high school. Lost many, made some too late. Senior year was almost the year of reckoning...sorting true friends from simply people I get along with. Now I won't deny the fact that I tend to never start a conversation or make the plans...but now I realize how easily people just cut me out of their schedules with the excuse that I was always busy with Max. I was simply never asked. And now...now I miss the friends I thought I had...and only a handful miss me back. I used to think I wouldn't care...thought I had prepared myself for the idea that college ends all high school friendships...I guess I care.
I'm growing up...I am now 18...creepy. It truly feels like only yesterday I was dreading the first day of high school...the butterflies in the acidic pit of my stomache at the thought of meeting new people, perhaps making new friends. The prospect of it is troubling enough to cause a panic attack. I hate social situations. And what's the point of making friends anyway? I made friends in high school. Lost many, made some too late. Senior year was almost the year of reckoning...sorting true friends from simply people I get along with. Now I won't deny the fact that I tend to never start a conversation or make the plans...but now I realize how easily people just cut me out of their schedules with the excuse that I was always busy with Max. I was simply never asked. And now...now I miss the friends I thought I had...and only a handful miss me back. I used to think I wouldn't care...thought I had prepared myself for the idea that college ends all high school friendships...I guess I care.