damn

[just_4_sum]

yea i dont understand a lot of stuff thats been going on. a lot of it is either hurtful, worrying me, pissing me off, or confusing...or just all mixed into one more big lump of shit i shouldnt have to deal with. its not even all personal problems of mine, but things that are happening to my friends that either get my stuck in the middle or worry me so therefore makes it a personal problem of mine...b/c now i have to learn how to handle it or deal with it.

i feel like god just flipped the "dump tons of uncontrollable bad luck and problems on jacki" switch. and now im buried and i just want out. could someone maybe lend a hand, make things a little easier, just help me out a little bit? just simply give me advice! what the hell am i supposed to do???
fucking i'll be screaming to god to give me a sign or something but whats the use in that anyways??

i dont mean to complain and be annoying...but i feel so fucking lost right now and over my head and things are just flying by me, one after another, all out of my controll and i need it to stop! i need to make things better, but i dont even know where to fucking begin and i can only hope that the ppl around me will be willing...unless they are willing to give in their part then things will never clear up.