Second Impressions (2/2)

[just2wings]

Pairing: KeyHyun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: College!AU, Band!AU, a bit of humour, a bit of angst, more sex and more fluff
Word count: 7919
Summary: When Jonghyun has an accidental one-night stand with a longtime crush, he isn’t sure what comes next or what to believe.

A/N: Sorry this took a while! Thankfully I'm in time for Jonghyun's birthday \o/ Happy birthday to the wonderful Kim Jonghyun ♥ he had such a big year and I'm so proud ♥♥♥
Again, this was inspired by many things, mostly Jonghyun's ramblings on blue night such as this and this. The ending gave me a bit of trouble, but I decided to just go with it. Thanks for reading, I really hope you like this part!
__________________

(Back)

This time Jonghyun wasn’t as surprised when Kibum dropped into the seat next to his for their Gender Studies class. That didn’t mean he was any more eloquent than he had been the last time, though.

“Hey, hi.”

Kibum smiled at him, eyes lingering for a moment before he returned the greeting. “Hey, Jonghyun.”

“Are you still coming Saturday?” Way to sound clingy, Jonghyun chastised himself for uttering the first thing that had come to his mind.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Why was it that Kibum made flirting sound so effortless? He unpacked his shoulder bag before looking up, his gaze having turned curious as he asked, “Do you get nervous before shows or is it all just business to you guys?”

“Oh we all do,” Jonghyun answered truthfully. “I don’t think the nerves ever really leave you no matter how many times you’ve done it.” He was especially nervous before shows; Jinki was, too, but he tended to show it less. Jonghyun had never been able to conceal his emotions like that, he usually wore them plain on his face.

“Really?” Kibum seemed surprised. “You’d think you would have found ways to wind down before a show.”

While Kibum’s words had been harmless, something about his grin was definitely anything but innocent.

“Are you…?”

“If you want.” Kibum was leaning casually onto the desk, the offer written clearly all over his smirk, looking equal parts irresistible and cocky. Jonghyun had to remind himself that they were in a classroom and that, really, it was unfair how Kibum still had the power to make Jonghyun flustered. A gross injustice, in Jonghyun’s opinion.

“I-I think that would make me even more nervous, honestly,” Jonghyun blurted out, with minimal stuttering. Kibum must have found his answer endearing because his grin immediately dropped its teasing edge, turning fond instead.

“I’ll be cheering you on, then.” As cheesy as it was, Jonghyun appreciated the support, even more so since it came from Kibum.

***

Band practices and school work kept him busy until the end of the week. He and Kibum had texted back and forth a few times but had never managed to coordinate another meet up. All too soon Saturday rolled around and Jonghyun woke up to the familiar dual feeling of anticipation and nervousness. Only this time there was an added layer of apprehension because, unlike for any of his other gigs, he was expecting a certain special audience member. An audience member he was hoping to impress, no less.

When Hyoyeon, one of their guitarists, showed up at their dorm to help them pack up their stuff before the show, she made a point of seeking Jonghyun out with a sniggering Minho in tow.

“Rumor has it we’re expecting a special guest tonight,” she said knowingly.

Jonghyun glared at Minho above her shoulder-confiding in Minho was risky business, apparently.

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” Jonghyun pleaded. Hyoyeon could be pretty strong-minded once she’d gotten an idea into her head, and she’d more than once tried to set Jonghyun up already. He should have known she would be delighted at the news. And that she would make fun of him at every chance.

“Only if you do, honey,” she replied with a wink before sauntering off to help Jinki with their tangled extensions.

Jonghyun gave a long sigh, but was interrupted as he fought Minho off from trying to give him a condescending pat on the shoulder.

Now that they were all a little more experienced in the art of fitting all their instruments and equipment into Jinki’s car without injuring themselves, they were on the road in a matter of minutes and arrived at the venue a good three hours before show time. That was plenty of time to prep before the main act got there and hogged the stage for their own sound check.

Their practice went without a hitch and soon they were ushered into the cramped backroom, which they were sharing with the main act. It was a band they were familiar with, having opened for them a few times already, so the greetings were kept short.

Jonghyun’s pre-show ritual usually consisted of sitting in a corner with his bass on his thigh, plucking strings and humming to himself as he went over their set for the night in his mind. This time, however, Hyoyeon seemed to have other plans.

“Come on,” she ordered, standing in front of Jonghyun in impressive four-inch heeled boots and gesturing for him to stand up. Confused, he simply looked at her quizzically. “Get up.”

Still confused but now without a choice as she placed his bass aside and grabbed him by the wrist, he followed her into the changing room, which had a proper, tall mirror hanging above a white counter. She pushed him into a chair without warning, leaving him squinting under the harsh lighting. The next thing he knew she was brandishing an eyeliner pencil and holding him down.

“What are you-”

“Just shut up and stay still or I’ll poke your eye out,” she threatened.

Jonghyun suddenly held very still, wary of the sharp object poking his eyelid. “I can do it myself, thanks,” he argued, put upon. “There’s no need to assault me.”

“I wanted to try something a little different,” she told him in way that did nothing to reassure him.

When she stepped aside a while later with a satisfied hum and Jonghyun was finally able to glance at himself through the mirror, his first thought was that he had never worn quite so much makeup before. Hyoyeon had gone heavy with the eyeliner, making her lines much thicker than he usually did and adding a bit of eye shadow to complete the look.

“I look like a panda,” he blurted out, staring into the mirror at what used to be his face.

“You look hot,” she retorted, lathering her hands with what looked like hair gel, “now lay back.”

She ran her hands through his fringe a few times, bringing it upwards and styling it into messy spikes. As if that hadn’t been enough, she then bathed her sculpture in a cloud of hairspray that had Jonghyun coughing on fumes.

She leaned back from the mirror to admire him, tilting her head from side to side as if assessing a work of art. “Perfect,” she exclaimed with a clap to his shoulder, satisfied. “You’ll knock’em dead.”

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow at his reflection-he had to admit his hair looked nice like this, just the right length to look artfully ruffled without looking like he’d stuck his head out the window on the way over. He still wasn’t sold on all the eyeliner, though.

“Is this really necessary?”

Hyoyeon nodded resolutely and spun his chair around. “Now go change, lover boy, we’re up in twenty.”

She left the room with a swing in her step and a self-satisfied smirk on her lips. Jonghyun spun himself to face the mirror again, raising a finger to poke at his eyelid when her voice echoed from the other side of the door: “Don’t you dare!”

Shoulders hunching over, Jonghyun resigned himself to his fate.

***

In all honesty, Jonghyun didn’t remember much of the show. This always seemed to happen whenever he was especially nervous before a show, like all his concentration and energy were focused in the moment, in playing and singing to the best of his ability that he couldn’t even remember it afterwards. It was exhausting and his hands were slightly shaking as if from too much pent-up adrenaline when came time to take their final bow.

They made their way back to the dressing room, exchanging high fives and hushed words with the other band as they passed them. They were stowing away their instruments when Minho walked in to the room, and although that was a common occurrence the person following him had everyone looking up at once.

“Look who I found,” Minho announced proudly.

Kibum looked surprisingly at ease, almost like he belonged there with his ripped jeans and leather jacket. He was also smiling, which Jonghyun took as a good sign. He had apparently dyed his hair newly blond sometime during the week, and Jonghyun was a bit disconcerted by how well it all suited him.

“Awesome show,” he complimented, “you guys were amazing. It’s nice to meet you.”

That snapped Jonghyun out it as he remembered his manners.

“Guys, this is Kibum,” he introduced, feeling a bit awkward but wanting to do things the right way. “Kibum, this is our drummer Taem, Hyo on lead guitar, Jinki our second guitar-slash-vocalist and Minho, our unofficial cheerleader.”

“Say that one more time and I’m never helping you ever again,” Minho threatened.

“I’m sorry, would you prefer the term groupie?”

“Shut up,” Minho grumbled, looking less than pleased while Kibum stifled a laugh.

“We’re about to head back for a drink, want to join us Kibum?” Hyoyeon asked.

“I’d love to,” Kibum told her before granting Jonghyun another small smile, the sincerity and coyness of it warming Jonghyun’s chest.

The venue’s second floor held a proper bar and tables, as opposed to the concert hall below. It wasn’t crowded yet considering the show was still going on so they settled at a corner booth where the music wasn’t quite as loud and where they could actually hear each other speak. Kibum slid into the booth next to him, pressing along Jonghyun’s thigh as he squeezed in to make space for Minho on his other side.

Jinki had gone by the bar to fetch them a handful of snacks, a large pitcher of beer in his other hand. Jonghyun got started on the snacks, ignoring the pitcher in what he hoped was an inconspicuous way.

“So, how do you know Jonghyun?” Hyoyeon asked Kibum, even though she probably already knew. She most likely just wanted to get Kibum talking and drinking until he was tipsy enough to share embarrassing details about Jonghyun. She was sneaky and ruthless that way.

“We’re in a class together but we only got to talking after your last show.”

“Oh really?” she exclaimed in a tone that was almost too rehearsed, confirming Jonghyun’s suspicions that she knew the whole story already and was only doing this to taunt him. “Was it all the lip-biting or his sexy voice that did it for you?” she joked, although it hit a little too close to home for Jonghyun’s taste.

“Both,” Kibum said with a laugh, playing along, except Jonghyun didn’t think it was all that funny. “Are you all students too?”

“Yup,” Hyoyeon answered for all of them. “Just your average students by day, rockstars by night,” she added with a wink that had Kibum chuckling again.

“It’s not like we’re actual rockstars or anything, though,” Jonghyun felt the need to remind her, a bit more sternly than he’d intended.

“I don’t know, Kim Jonghyun, you seem pretty rockin’ to me,” she told him with a sly smile, eyeing his hair and attire purposefully. Jonghyun loved her like a sister, he really did, and he knew she meant well but sometimes she had a tendency to let her mouth run.

Kibum broke the silence, announcing, “I’m heading up to the bar for some soju, do you want anything?”

Everyone seemed to pause to stare at Jonghyun when he answered with a shaky, “Soju’s fine.” It wasn’t, at all, and they all knew that except for Kibum, who nodded and stood up.

“I’ll go with you, I can probably get you some for free,” Hyoyeon offered, disappearing with him. While Jonghyun was slightly worried at the thought of Hyoyeon alone with Kibum, there were more pressing matters at hand.

“Please don’t let me embarrass myself in front of him,” he groaned.

“I’m sorry to say this but if you start drinking there’s nothing we can do about that,” Jinki reminded him.

“Hyung, it’s no big deal,” Minho reasoned seriously, dropping his voice so as to not be overheard. “You should really talk to him instead of keeping up this charade. If this kind of stuff really matters to him, then he’s a dick.”

“I can’t just…” Jonghyun struggled for words, eyes darting towards the bar only to see Kibum walking back towards them with an armful of bottles, Hyoyeon trailing behind him with a few shot glasses. “It’s easier to pretend.”

“You’ll regret this tomorrow,” Minho warned him under his voice, but Jonghyun ignored him in favour of smiling at Kibum and grabbing the bottle that was handed to him.

Minho had a habit of being annoyingly right. So, of course, the next morning when Jonghyun woke up half-naked in his own bed feeling like someone had sanded down his throat, the first thing he did was curse Minho. He would have preferred to do it to his face but the room was spinning and opening his eyes was enough of an effort already that he couldn’t imagine standing up.

It took a while, but eventually Jonghyun managed to sit up in his bed without feeling like he was going to heave. A few minutes later he managed to swing both feet to the floor and then he was up on wobbly legs, making his way to the kitchen and resting against the walls along the way.

It was safe to say that Jonghyun didn’t remember a single thing from the previous night, and he hoped someone would fill him in soon because he walked in on Minho sitting at the table, chatting with Kibum over a pot of coffee, Roo settled comfortably on Kibum’s lap.

“He lives.” Minho smiled at him above the rim of his cup. He pulled out a chair for Jonghyun, which Jonghyun fell into less than gracefully.

“Barely,” he groaned.

“Coffee will help,” Kibum offered, pushing a cup his way. He looked like he had just showered but was still in his previous day’s clothes, which had Jonghyun wondering what had actually happened more than ever. “Unfortunately, I have to go,” Kibum announced, putting a wiggling Roo on the ground before standing to place his cup in the sink. He leaned in to place a quick kiss to Jonghyun’s lips that both surprised and confused the hell out of him before heading for the door. “Take it easy today, Jjong. See you,” he called out, returning Minho’s small wave and shutting the door behind himself.

Jonghyun let his head fall to the table, wishing he hadn’t let himself get so carried away last night. He felt Minho pat his shoulder and gave another laboured groan.

The cool wood felt wonderful against his forehead so Jonghyun stayed like that for a while, sprawled out on the table with Roo occasionally licking at his ankle, and listened to the sounds of Minho puttering about the kitchen while he promised himself to never drink again. Eventually he turned his face to the side and squinted at Minho under the bright kitchen lights.

“What happened?” he croaked. A second later, Minho placed a tall glass of water in front of him.

“Well, you did the opposite of everything I told you so thank you for proving me right even though I wish you hadn’t,” Minho answered, not unkindly. He poured his ramyeon into a bowl before joining Jonghyun at the table and leveling him with a hard stare Jonghyun probably deserved. “You were pretty much gone by your third shot of soju, which was three shots too many, mind you. And that was before you had some beer, too.”

Jonghyun groaned; no wonder his head felt like it was pounding from the inside. “Was it worth it?”

“You spent pretty much all night making out with him in a corner of the booth, which Hyo filmed by the way, but then we had to literally carry your drunk ass home so no, I’d say it wasn’t worth it,” Minho reprimanded with a touch of annoyance beneath the sarcasm in his tone.

“And then? What about Kibum?”

“Oh, he helped carry you,” Minho assured him, and Jonghyun could tell that, on some level, he was enjoying this little lecture of his, “he even put you to bed like a real gentleman and wanted to crash on the couch but I was already there, so he went back to sleep in your bed while you probably drooled onto your pillow.”

“Oh god,” Jonghyun moaned, hiding his face in his arms.

“As far as I know, nothing happened. You had pretty much passed out anyway.”

“What date is it?” Jonghyun mumbled. “Is it too late to drop out of classes?”

“You brought this down on yourself, hyung,” Minho reminded him, none too gently. “You should really just talk to him. Set things straight.” Minho paused, slurping his noodles. “Or not so straight, in your case.”

Jonghyun rolled his eyes, which made his head throb even more, but Minho had a point. Still, it didn’t change the fact that Kibum had first approached him after a show, because he’d just seen Jonghyun on stage even though they shared a class together. What was he supposed to think? If building a band and trying to get contracts had taught him anything, it was that people were quick to make up their minds about you, about your style and your sound, and that the first song in a set was always the most important. Only, like his music, Jonghyun was rarely so straightforward.

***

A shower, coffee and some food later, Jonghyun felt vaguely more human. He parked himself on the couch for the rest of the afternoon, still nursing his hangover, flanked by Jinki and Taemin who had eventually rolled out of bed. He mostly just watched them play video games together and held his aching head in his hands. It was getting dark outside by the time his phone suddenly vibrated beside him and he stood up to take the call in the kitchen.

“Hello?”

“Feeling better?” Kibum’s voice asked.

“A bit, yeah,” Jonghyun answered truthfully, feeling sheepish, the embarrassment of it all coming back to him at once. “Thanks,” he added in a small voice.

“Good, I was a bit worried this morning, you were really out like a light.”

“Sorry I overdid it a little.”

“Well, I had fun,” Kibum said, rather coyly. If Jonghyun hadn’t already vowed to never drink again, he would have in that moment because he very much wished he could remember making out with Kim Kibum all night.

“Thank you for walking me back home, Minho says you helped out,” Jonghyun went on. It was easier to say these things over the phone, when he couldn’t see Kibum’s expression and he wanted to get this out now. “I’m glad you stayed the night, even though I can’t remember most of it.” Or any of it, but Jonghyun didn’t quite want to admit that.

“Yeah, well you weren’t the only one who got tipsy. Nothing happened, in case you were wondering,” Kibum told him, a teasing edge to his words. “But I did learn that you like to cuddle a lot when you’re drunk.”

Jonghyun spluttered for a moment, cheeks flushing in utter embarrassment. “You didn’t have to stay,” he ended up muttering.

“I never said I didn’t like cuddling,” Kibum replied. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow?”

Jonghyun took comfort in the fact that, whatever had happened that he couldn’t remember, Kibum still wanted to see him.

“Yeah,” he spoke softly.

“See you tomorrow, then.”

Jonghyun let his forehead knock against the wall once the dial tone followed. He forced himself to take deep breaths, willing himself to set things right. Kibum deserved at least that much for putting up with his antics so far. Going out, getting plastered after a show-that wasn’t him, wasn’t even somebody he wanted to be. And yet being around Kibum made him want to try, like being himself just wasn’t enough.

***

When Kibum approached him in class the next day, he did so with an edge of concern to his smile and Jonghyun couldn’t shake off the apprehensive feeling weighing down on his chest, the same he’d been fighting since the previous day.

“Feeling any better?”

Jonghyun could only bring himself to nod curtly, not quite up to lying out loud.

“Oh, that’s great,” Kibum said quickly, furrowing his brow and seeming thoughtful for a second. “Your friends seemed kinda worried about you.”

Something about the way Kibum had said it told Jonghyun he might not have been so clueless. In a way, it would be so easy to just blurt out the truth, that he wasn’t a great drinker, wasn’t particularly outgoing, that he’d probably bore Kibum out sooner than later but ‘hey thanks for sticking around this long’. On second thought, it would be far from easy. More along the lines of terrifying.

“Thanks for coming,” was all Jonghyun ended up saying.

“My pleasure,” Kibum replied quickly, not without innuendo in his voice, before continuing more seriously, “it was great to meet Hyoyeon, too. She’s a lot of fun.”

Somehow, the apprehensive feeling only grew heavier in Jonghyun’s chest. “Yeah,” he agreed, forcing a casual tone.

“Are you doing anything tonight?”

Jonghyun couldn’t help but turn wide eyes onto Kibum-here he was, still nursing the devil’s hangover and was Kibum really asking to go at it again tonight?

Thankfully Kibum was too busy fiddling with his notebook to notice his dumbstruck expression.

“I was thinking you could come over, watch a movie or something,” Kibum went on to explain. “We could order in, you know, take it easy.”

A tiny flicker of hope lit up in the pit of Jonghyun’s stomach, and he gave his first real, genuine smile of the day.

“I’d like that.”

Kibum smiled back at him, dimples on full display, and Jonghyun hoped, not for the first time, that this would end well somehow.

Jonghyun managed to focus in class this time as the professor lectured on a few influential contemporary writers. He even got caught up in a discussion with Kibum after class as he walked him to the library, although it was really more of a rant. He was so engrossed in his argument, detailing Kim Byeol-ah’s merits as a feminist writer that he nearly squeaked when Kibum suddenly cupped his face in front of the library and leaned in for a quick peck on the lips.

“I think,” Kibum began slowly, like he was pondering Jonghyun’s last point, “that I really like when you get all impassioned,” he said instead, still leaning in close. The people around had begun to stare at them, and yet there was something beautiful and so Kibum in the way the latter was ignoring every single one of them, his attention solely on Jonghyun. It filled Jonghyun up with an emotion that both choked him up and awed him.

“See you tonight?”

Jonghyun nodded, lips still tingling and cheeks flushing long after Kibum had turned away.

***

Jonghyun showed up at Kibum’s dorm a few hours later with bubble tea in hand because his mother had taught him to never show up empty-handed. Well, he had also brought something else in his jeans’ pocket, but he doubted he’d need it tonight unless things went exceptionally well. He could still dream, though. Better be safe than sorry and all that; at least that was how he justified it.

Kibum threw open the door, and Jonghyun took a moment to stare at him because he didn’t think he’d ever seen him so dressed down. Considering how Kibum always seemed to dress to be seen, the sight of him in baggy (although colourful) sweatpants and a t-shirt, dark roots beginning to show through his blond dye, was a bit mind-boggling. Especially because of how much Jonghyun liked it. And not just because it meant he was one of the few people to see Kibum like this, but also because it confirmed Jonghyun’s theory that the boy could make anything look good.

“You look great,” Jonghyun blurted out, and Kibum’s eyebrows raised at the confession.

Deliberately, he then reached out to pat Jonghyun on the cheek before speaking in a slightly derisive tone, “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“I mean it!” Jonghyun spluttered, because it hadn’t been sarcastic at all and the thought of Kibum taking it that way kind of broke his heart. Like Kibum should have known better. “You really do.”

Kibum assessed him quietly for a moment, eyes running over his face before stopping on his lips. He then curled a hand into Jonghyun’s jacket and pulled him in for a kiss. “Thanks,” he spoke to his lips.

Jonghyun smiled back, carefully setting the bubble tea on the ground before his arms wound their way around Kibum’s back, steadying himself to deepen their kiss. They got a bit carried away, considering it took them a good ten minutes to notice they had left the door wide open. And that they had almost started groping each other in plain sight of the hallway.

Kibum finally shut the door after they had pulled apart, lips thoroughly swollen and numbed already. Jonghyun shed his jacket and draped it over Kibum’s desk chair, turning around to find about a dozen take-out menus strewn across the bed.

“You can choose whatever you want,” Kibum told him, plopping down on his bed next to the menus and sipping on his bubble tea, “I’m really not picky.”

Jonghyun considered the array for a moment before pointing to a pamphlet. “I’ve never tried this place.”

“Me neither,” Kibum said, fishing out his phone from his pocket and calling once they’d decided on their orders while Jonghyun neatened up the menus into a pile.

“Should only be a few minutes,” Kibum announced, watching Jonghyun. “You know, I’d have offered to cook for you but that’s something I usually reserve for the fourth date at least.”

Jonghyun chuckled despite himself, only to stop when he did quick math in his head.

“So you don’t consider the first time we…”

“You mean the time we barely learned each other’s names and had an amazing fuck? No, Jonghyun, I don’t think that qualifies as a date,” Kibum said bluntly, biting down on his straw with a twisted smirk on his lips.

Jonghyun felt himself flush, and Kibum must have been amused by his flustered manner because he let out a chuckle of his own.

“I’m just kidding,” he finally added, “I’m feeling too lazy to cook today.”

Jonghyun thought he’d very much like to taste Kibum’s cooking, especially if it was meant for him, although he had nothing to complain about regarding this night anyway. Now that he wasn’t being rushed out Kibum’s dorm room, he took his time looking around, noticing at once that Kibum had picked up after himself since the last time he’d been here. Jonghyun briefly entertained the thought of Kibum tidying up with him in mind, and it brought a small smile to his lips.

When Jonghyun got closer to Kibum’s desk, he noticed the bookshelf above it wasn’t actually lined with books like he had first thought, but rather with an impressive array of DVDs. He was expecting many things when he leaned in for a closer look, but them being mostly Disney titles was decidedly not one of them, along with the few figurines scattered on the shelf to be Disney characters.

“Wow,” Jonghyun muttered, taking it in, “a bit of a Disney fan, aren’t we?”

When Kibum paused in his answer, Jonghyun turned around only to find him avoiding eye contact in what seemed to be slight embarrassment. “Shut up,” he finally said, the words spoken too softly to have any real heat behind them.

“No no,” Jonghyun amended quickly, taking a few steps towards the bed again. Why did he have to keep tripping all over his words around Kibum? “I think it’s endearing.” He really did. And it kind of made sense in a strange way, like another piece of a puzzle only Kibum could pull off.

When Kibum lifted his gaze to meet Jonghyun’s, his expression had melted into a soft smile, one that was so genuine and intimate that Jonghyun could do nothing but return it.

“I have some anime we can watch, too,” Kibum offered.

Jonghyun reached for Kibum’s laptop by his desk, handing it over with a broad smile and agreeing easily. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

Kibum gave a breathless laugh, propping himself against the headboard before opening his laptop and searching through his folders. Jonghyun sat beside him, forgoing personal space and leaning against the length of his body. Kibum smelled nice, almost fruity, and he was warm and soft in all the right places. Jonghyun had to stifle a whine when Kibum rolled away from their comfortable position once their food arrived.

Jonghyun helped him unpack everything, setting up on the floor next to the bed, which was better than trying to fit both of them on the tiny counter space next to the sink. They both leaned back on the side of the bed, cross-legged with their knees and shoulders touching, picking food off each other’s plates. Kibum even pretended to be angry when Jonghyun stole a huge piece of his pork cutlet, but Jonghyun could see through the act.

Of all their dates so far, this, right here, sitting on Kibum’s floor in his tiny, cramped dorm room, sharing take-out with Kibum in sweats beside him, was his favourite. There was no pretense between them, only them. Which was why his heart sunk a bit in his chest when Kibum broke his thoughtful silence with, “I’m sorry tonight is kinda lame.”

“It’s really not,” Jonghyun reassured him at once, unsure of how he could be more truthful. “I swear I’m easy to please,” he added in a rush, going for a light tone but as soon as he uttered them, he knew those had been entirely the wrong words to say, that Kibum wouldn’t take them the right way. Jonghyun watched mortified while Kibum froze, eyes downcast, before giving a dry scoff and shrugging like the energy had been sucked right out of him.

“I didn’t mean…” Jonghyun tried to explain. Making Kibum feel like a cheap date was probably the last thing he wanted, considering how far it was from the truth.

“It’s fine,” Kibum cut him off, the air around them suddenly turning tense.

Jonghyun sighed; this was like watching all of his nightmares slowly unfold and, for once, he couldn’t bring himself to care if this made things worse because he was tired of tiptoeing and constantly second-guessing himself. He threw caution to the wind, turning to face Kibum with a serious expression. Now was as good a time as ever for plain honesty.

“I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding,” he finally said, addressing the issue that had kept him up at night at long last. “I’m not…” he began to speak, only to chuckle at himself in self-deprecation when he realized he had no idea how to word this, but it was too late to back out anyway. “I have no idea how to say this,” he admitted instead.

Kibum’s gaze had turned curious, with a hint of hesitation, but at least he was listening.

Jonghyun decided to start with the facts, to ground himself and push past the nerves that had started to twist his stomach into knots. “I really like you. Have for a while now, even before we met that night. How I am on stage, it’s not…” Jonghyun struggled for words again, aware of how little sense he must have been making. “I never meant to mislead you, even though I probably wasn’t as upfront as I should have been.”

Kibum merely kept watching him, frowning. “What do you mean?” he asked, seeming unsure.

“Well, you approached me after a show,” Jonghyun reminded him. “After that, I guess I just felt like I had to keep trying to impress you.”

Kibum’s eyebrows shot up as he levelled Jonghyun with a look of disbelief.

“You? Impress me? Jonghyun, I’m not the one with a fanbase.”

Jonghyun was aware of how it all must have looked from Kibum’s side of things, and of how much of an idiot he’d been and how much heartache he could have saved himself if he’d simply been honest from the beginning. He cursed Minho in his head for being right, and then himself for good measure before carrying on.

“I mean, I know I’m in a band but I’m not really into that whole… scene. I just want to make music. The whole drinking and clubbing thing, it’s, well, not exactly my idea of a good time. To be honest, I don’t really drink.”

“But two nights ago-” Kibum muttered, still frowning.

“Not my proudest moment,” Jonghyun admitted sheepishly.

“You could have just told me, Jjong,” Kibum said softly, looking genuinely apologetic. “I mean, you were so quiet in class so, yeah, after seeing you on stage I have to admit I was really intrigued. But,” he recounted, tone suddenly turning rather fond, “you stayed the night. And then you looked like a kicked puppy when I rushed you out the next morning.” Kibum cracked a small smile at the memory. “I figured there was more to it. To you.”

Jonghyun nodded silently, feeling guiltier and sillier than ever for the charade he’d put up. “I just wanted to be what you expected me to be.”

“You know,” Kibum began to say, tone suddenly conversational like Jonghyun hadn’t just been spilling his guts out to him. It had Jonghyun doing a double take. “Rockstars are the kind of people you have one-night stands with, not the kind you date. Lyricists,” Kibum went on, emphasizing the word, “are the ones you want to call back in the morning.”

The confession took Jonghyun by surprise and he looked up, wide-eyed, to find a corner of Kibum’s lips quirked upwards, sharing a small, conspiratorial smile with him. The words, the confession-it touched him more than he could explain. He decided then and there to give much more credit to Kibum’s observational skills considering how the boy had managed to deduce this much about Jonghyun without him ever saying it outright. Jonghyun did consider himself a lyricist, an artist, above all and Kibum may very well have been the first person to truly grasp that. And to respect it.

Jonghyun then felt his chin being titled upwards by slim fingers, forcing him to lock eyes with Kibum’s dark ones.

“And I don’t know how you see yourself, Jjong,” Kibum spoke softly, tone still conversational even though the eyes boring into Jonghyun’s held an intense, heavy heat, “but it’s a sad thing if you think the guy who struts around on stage is the best thing about you.”

Before Jonghyun could think twice about it, he found himself lunging at Kibum to connect their lips, kissing and grasping at him as if he could convey this overwhelming feeling flooding his insides through touch. Kibum grunted in surprise but quickly got with the program, kissing and giving back just as good as he got, food forgotten in front of them. Jonghyun was pretty sure he knocked something over when he rose to his knees in front of Kibum, pressing him back into the side of the bed to kiss him deeper. Kibum responded in kind, hands clutching at Jonghyun’s waist to help him settle across his lap, a knee on either side. Jonghyun was taller in this position; he enjoyed the height advantage while it lasted, fisting a hand in Kibum’s long hair and pulling his head back to mouth at his lips and jawline. Jonghyun was particularly engrossed in sucking the skin below Kibum’s ear when Kibum gave another small grunt.

“I should have known you’d be such a softie about this too,” he said, sounding a bit winded which Jonghyun took pride in.

Jonghyun bit down on the skin, hard enough to have Kibum jolting beneath him.

“M’not a softie,” he mumbled, running his tongue over the bite marks.

“Of course not,” Kibum humoured him, “jumping on people is a totally normal reaction.”

Jonghyun gave him another fleeting bite, this time near his clavicle.

“It is when it’s you.”

Jonghyun pulled back just in time to see Kibum’s smile turn soft, gaze liquid as he watched Jonghyun.

“Come here.”

Kibum drew him in for another kiss, this one softer but longer, complete with wandering hands that petted and grabbed whatever flesh they could reach. Soon Kibum was fiddling insistently with the edge of Jonghyun’s shirt, so Jonghyun pulled back the help him work it over his head. He saw it fall to the floor next to an overturned bowl of rice, Kibum’s shirt joining it seconds later.

“Sorry about the mess,” Jonghyun offered, complying when Kibum’s hands pulled him in by the waist.

“I’m thinking we should relocate,” Kibum said, nodding towards the bed behind him.

Jonghyun grinned, inexplicably giddy as he climbed onto Kibum’s bed. Kibum wasn’t too far behind, climbing on beside him and rolling on top of him to press him into the mattress, looking down at him with a smile to match Jonghyun’s own.

Jonghyun was expecting a kiss to land on his lips, closing his eyes in anticipation only to open them again when Kibum remained still above him. He was smirking in a way that shouldn’t have made him look so sexy, but it did and Jonghyun felt a thrill shoot down his spine at the sight.

“So, apparently you’ve really liked me for a while, huh?” Kibum teased, knowing full well that he had Jonghyun trapped beneath him.

Two could play this game, or so Jonghyun thought. He slid his hands down Kibum’s back, stopping at the curve of Kibum’s ass and jerking his hips down against his. “I really, really do,” was his answer, purposefully grinding his hardening erection up onto Kibum’s.

Kibum gave a small whine at the feeling, shutting up at once as he began to roll his hips. But Jonghyun wanted more than that, wanted them naked and touching, so he squirmed until he could reach into his jeans’ pocket, throwing the packets out onto the bedspread.

Kibum promptly stopped when his eyes fell on the wrapped condom and the packet of lube Jonghyun had dug out. For a heart-stopping moment, Jonghyun wondered if that had been too blunt a move, if perhaps Kibum wanted something else, but then Kibum spoke up.

“Flavoured lube? Wow, you’re gayer than me.”

Jonghyun couldn’t help the laughter that tumbled out of his mouth. He slid a hand into Kibum’s blond hair, grasping at the strands to pull him down and press their lips together, chests still rumbling with laughter. It died down in his throat once Kibum’s talented tongue found its way into his mouth, and he focused instead on kissing him back. The kiss was wet, deep, just this side of teasing considering Jonghyun already knew what Kibum could really do with his tongue and lips. He drew back for a breath, eyeing Kibum’s plush lips and the messy state of his hair before deciding there was one last thing he wanted to get off his chest before this went any further.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. Kibum shifted above him, pulling back a bit more to look at him properly.

“What for?”

Jonghyun considered the question for a second. “Everything. Not being entirely truthful. Being an idiot.”

Kibum shifted onto his side, moving his weight off of him; Jonghyun missed his warmth instantly. “While I’m a bit concerned that you’d rather have had alcohol poisoning than admit your limits,” Kibum began with a hint of humour, “I’m glad that won’t happen again.” Kibum paused, running a hand across Jonghyun’s bare chest before continuing, “Although I have to say I liked drunk, cuddly you.”

“I don’t need to be drunk to be cuddly,” Jonghyun assured him.

“Good to know,” Kibum answered with a smile, moving in close for another kiss.

“In fact,” Jonghyun spoke up once they had pulled apart, Kibum hovering over him while Jonghyun slid a hand down to his ass once more, “I can be real friendly when I’m horny too.”

“Oh god,” Kibum almost snorted, burying his face in the dip of Jonghyun’s shoulder. “I should have known you’d be cheesy, too.”

“I’m the whole package,” Jonghyun joked, offering a bright grin when Kibum pulled back and touched their foreheads together.

“Will you shut up and let me fuck you?” Kibum asked with playful impatience.

“Only if you do it well,” Jonghyun replied smugly, enjoying their banter.

Kibum mock-growled, diving in to nip at Jonghyun’s neck. “Oh I will,” he murmured, and it all sounded very promising to Jonghyun.

He stretched himself out beneath Kibum, making more room for Kibum while he helped him wrestle off the rest of their clothes. He rose onto his elbows when Kibum stopped to rip open the packet of lube, licking his lips while he watched Kibum slick up his long fingers. Soon Kibum had him on his back again, legs spread out as Kibum slipped finger after finger inside of him.

Jonghyun gave a loud moan when he begun to work him open. “That feels good,” he breathed out, voice strained already.

“Wait until you feel the rest of me,” Kibum spoke, lips brushing against his ear. He pulled his fingers out then, slightly crooking them to catch Jonghyun’s rim in a way that had his breath stuttering in his chest. Moments later, Jonghyun could feel the blunt head of his dick nudging his slick rim, pressing in smoothly.

“Oh fuck,” he gasped, forcing out a little ‘huh’ sound when Kibum’s hips suddenly rolled all the way in.

“Good?” Kibum asked from where he was holding himself up above Jonghyun, arms tensed on either side of him. He was smirking, looking cocky and all sorts of beautiful that Jonghyun was struck speechless. He nodded wordlessly, his voice having left him, caught up somewhere in his throat along with his breath, before pulling Kibum down to kiss him. Kibum began rolling his hips, alternating fast, hard thrusts with long, languorous ruts and when Jonghyun found his voice again, it was to let out a drawn-out moan.

He revelled under the sensations, chasing Kibum’s lips whenever he dipped his head low enough and licking and biting at whatever skin he could in between. He let out a loud keen when Kibum suddenly gave a hard jerk before going still and grinding his own orgasm out. Kibum hadn’t even finished coming before he placed a hand on Jonghyun’s dick, only stripping it a few times before Jonghyun spilled all over their stomachs in turn.

Kibum lay still on top of him, panting slightly, before muttering a quiet, “We need to do that more often.”

Jonghyun silently agreed, content to lay there under his weight, sticky and sated. “That’s kind of the point of dating.”

“I guess that makes us boyfriends, then,” Kibum replied casually, but the grin on his face when he pulled back to look at Jonghyun said otherwise. And if Jonghyun did a mini victory dance in his head at that, well, no one needed to know.

***

Jonghyun woke up, groggy and disoriented, eyes squinting at the harsh light right next to him. Blinking a few times, he managed to make out Kibum propped up against the headboard beside him, peering into his bright laptop’s screen. When he noticed Jonghyun stirring next to him, he snapped it shut and pushed it away, turning towards Jonghyun.

“Good morning.”

“’Morning,” Jonghyun mumbled, voice rough with sleep.

“Had a good sleep?” Kibum asked, pressing up beside him and circling an arm around his waist.

“Yeah. You?”

Kibum nodded before resting his chin on Jonghyun’s shoulder, looking down at him. “Woke up a while ago but I didn’t want to wake you, so I stayed in bed.”

Jonghyun stretched his neck to press his lips to Kibum’s in a short kiss.

“Feel free to stay in bed anytime,” Jonghyun told him.

Kibum chuckled, rubbing a hand across Jonghyun’s stomach in a way that felt divine. “It’s still early.”

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow, wondering what Kibum meant.

“Too early for the communal showers to be crowded yet,” he added, hand suddenly dipping lower.

Jonghyun needed no further incentive. “Let’s go,” he agreed, bolting upright and rolling out of bed at once, Kibum chuckling as he followed him.

***

“Kibum, will you help me fetch some drinks?” Hyoyeon asked, nodding towards the bar.

“Be right up,” Kibum told her, crawling over Jonghyun to get out of their booth. Jonghyun was pretty sure Kibum pressed his ass into Jonghyun’s crotch on purpose while he wiggled his way out, and now Jonghyun was left trying to readjust his tightening pants. Jonghyun made a face-of course he had to pick today to wear his tight, vinyl pants.

Minho cleared his throat loudly, throwing Jonghyun a knowing look.

“You guys seem really happy,” he said in an all-too casual tone, but Jonghyun knew better. And he appreciated the sentiment, now more than ever.

“I am,” he admitted, eyes flitting over the bar, where he could see Hyoyeon and Kibum huddled together and chuckling, probably trying to figure out how to wheedle out more free drinks from the bartender. “And I hope you’re happy too.”

Minho frowned, eyeing Jonghyun in confusion. “Why should I be?”

“Because you aren’t our sole groupie anymore,” Jonghyun answered shamelessly, grinning widely.

By the time Kibum and Hyoyeon made it back to the booth, Minho had Jonghyun in a tight headlock over the table. Kibum merely placed the bottles he was carrying on the table before tugging Jonghyun back onto the bench by his belt loops while Hyoyeon took care of restraining Minho.

“He called me a groupie again,” Minho pouted to her, and she patted his cheek consolingly. She may have been a little tipsy already.

Kibum slid back into the booth next to Jonghyun, pressing in close.

“If he’s a groupie, what does that make me?” he asked, voice low enough so that only Jonghyun could hear.

Jonghyun considered the question for a moment. “Special,” he finally answered.

Kibum merely stared at him, gaze going soft and fond for a second before he fisted a hand into Jonghyun’s loose shirt and brought him in for a kiss.

“That was cheesy,” he mumbled to Jonghyun’s lips.

“It’s the truth.” Kibum drew back slightly, watching Jonghyun with that small, dimpled smile he loved so much. Jonghyun smiled back, wide and genuine, before pulling him in for a longer, wetter kiss.

As it turned out, going out to bars with his friends was much better when he had Kibum to tag along and make out with in dark corners of the booth. Even better when he brought him home afterwards to act out every single dirty thing Kibum had whispered to his ear. And the best part? This time, he remembered it all in vivid colour the next day. And when he rolled out of bed at the crack of dawn to write about it? Kibum merely groaned and handed him a pen before burrowing back under Jonghyun’s sheets, mumbling about how he deserved a love song.