In Between 1/3 (Sequel to In the Meantime)
Pairing: college roommates!JongKey
Rating: NC-17
Genre: slice of life, fluff, angst, copious amounts of smut
Word count: ~20 700
Summary: With college drawing to an end, Kibum begins planning the next step. Jonghyun never thought he was the type to agonize over decisions, but then again he’d never been faced with a decision quite like this. Thankfully, Kibum is there in the end to make things easier.
A/N: I’ve had this sequel in mind for a few months now, but never had the guts to write it down. After a little nudge, I started writing it and this fic sort of became rather self-indulgent, lol. A huge thank you to the wonderful k_pop4life for being my personal beloved cheerleader while I wrote this ♥
This is a sequel to my college verse, In the Meantime, for which I made a masterpost here. I suggest having read at least the first two installments of that verse if you want to know more or less what’s going on. One little clarification: Jonghyun, Key and Minho are the same age in this verse.
Thank you so much for reading, it's been a while since I wrote something this long and I'm a little nervous. I really hope you enjoy this!
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It all started one evening, after Jonghyun had trudged back home from the gym. And by home he meant their dorm; they had been in this room for so long, almost four years spent living with Kibum, sharing beds and showers and meals that to Jonghyun it had truly become his home.
He punched in the code to their room, looking forward to stripping down and curling up with Kibum on their bed, maybe even watching a movie on his laptop if Kibum was feeling up to it. He closed the door behind himself, toeing off his shoes with an absent-minded smile and greeted Kibum, “Hey.”
He looked up when Kibum didn’t answer only to see him push away from his desk, standing to face Jonghyun at once. He was frowning, hands folded together in front of him with his shoulders drawn in and Jonghyun didn’t need to look twice to know something was bothering him.
“Whoa,” Jonghyun uttered quickly, dropping his gym bag before reaching out for him, “what is it?”
Kibum locked eyes with him and held his gaze for a moment before speaking, “I want your opinion on something.”
Jonghyun tried not to let the confusion he was feeling show through, instead agreeing with a simple “Okay, shoot.”
Kibum pulled him over to the bed, seating them down side by side and Jonghyun remained silent, anxiousness brewing within him at how unusual this all seemed.
“Your honest opinion,” Kibum continued, in a way that did nothing to ease Jonghyun’s worry.
“Kibum, what’s going on?”
“You know how I’ve been looking for an internship after I graduate?” Kibum reminded him, and Jonghyun nodded adamantly, aware of his plans yet failing to see what this was leading up to. “Well, I’ve found one that would be perfect for me but, uhm, it’s a little farther than the others I’ve been considering.”
Kibum’s gaze flitted away as he spoke those last words, and that was when Jonghyun felt his stomach drop.
“H-how far?”
“London,” he said quietly, “England.”
The silence that followed was an all-encompassing pause, the kind that seemed to stop time itself, and Jonghyun struggled to wrap his mind around what Kibum had just told him. Suddenly, Kibum’s previous demeanour felt all too appropriate; Jonghyun sagged onto the mattress, too many thoughts rushing through his mind.
“How long?” he eventually asked, because regardless of the answer he wanted to know.
“This one’s one year long,” Kibum answered in the same quiet manner.
One year, Jonghyun thought. He knew Kibum well enough to realize that he wouldn’t have brought it up unless it meant a lot to him and that the frown he’d been wearing since Jonghyun had stepped inside meant he knew what this entailed. Jonghyun knew better than to doubt him, but he still had to make sure.
“You say it’s perfect?” he asked, hoping Kibum would elaborate.
“It is,” and some of Kibum’s tension seemed to leave him as he continued at a fast pace, rambling, “I’d be interning at a media company, and they said they were looking to branch out into Asian markets, so hopefully I could really make something good there, you know? And making connections wouldn’t hurt, and I’ve always wanted to go to London.”
Jonghyun nodded at this, a small smile slipping through despite everything. Kibum let out a nervous chuckle in turn, but it was enough to give Jonghyun a glimpse of the excitement buried deep under his concerns. That, more than anything, was what won Jonghyun over; Kibum wanted this, and it really did sound like a great opportunity.
“Okay,” was all Jonghyun said.
“Okay?” Kibum repeated, turning round eyes on Jonghyun, searching.
“Yeah,” Jonghyun sighed, trying for another small smile. “You should apply.”
Kibum stared at him, mouth agape, before launching himself into him, arms wrapping tightly around his neck. “Thank you,” he whispered to Jonghyun’s ear, arms only tightening. Jonghyun pulled him further into his lap, leaning into him and resting his head on his shoulder, burrowing into his neck, taking in his scent. It was as familiar as the arms around him, and Jonghyun tried to push away the thought of spending a year without feeling them that was nagging at the back of his mind.
***
Two months later, Jonghyun found himself in a disturbingly similar situation.
He had just made it back to the dorm from the gym, opening the door to find Kibum scrambling up from his desk to face him, hands clutching what looked like a thick, formal envelope. And even if the restlessness written all over his features hadn’t been enough, his next words would have clued Jonghyun in anyway.
“I got my answer, from London,” he said at once, in his usual straightforward manner. “I was accepted.”
Jonghyun dropped his bag at the door and took a slow breath before advancing into the room to face Kibum with a smile. “Congratulations, babe,” he said, and meant it.
Much like the last time, Kibum was in his arms the next second, letter tossed to the side in favour of holding Jonghyun back. They stood there, embracing, for a long time, and it took a while for Jonghyun to notice the tears leaking down Kibum’s cheeks. When he pulled back, Kibum merely gave him a watery smile, lips twitching, and Jonghyun understood. He was proud, happy even because he knew this meant a lot to Kibum, but a part of him just couldn’t get excited about it. Instead, it fixated on how he’d be unable to feel this-Kibum against him, holding him-for an entire year.
They eventually moved to the bed, and Jonghyun had taken to kissing along Kibum’s tear tracks, willing them away. He was nuzzling his cheek when Kibum spoke up, voice slightly rough.
“We can do this, right?”
Jonghyun pulled back and kissed him on the lips, ignoring the slight burn behind his own eyelids. “We can,” he mumbled to his mouth, “we will.”
Kibum kissed him again, harder, and Jonghyun could tell they were both done talking for the night. They still had a lot to discuss, a lot to figure out, but Jonghyun was relieved to think it could wait a little longer.
***
The rest of the semester went by way too quickly, in Jonghyun’s opinion. Admittedly, focusing on his projects and assignments sometimes got a little hard when thoughts of Kibum’s internship would ambush him out of nowhere, leaving him lost in his mind for a while. But Jonghyun made do, putting those thoughts on hold by pulling Kibum closer whenever he was around.
Kibum was rather busy, charged with finishing his last semester as well as planning the details of his move. It wasn’t uncommon for him to spend an hour or so on the phone at weird hours of the day, talking to his future supervisor. Jonghyun did draw the line at him getting out of bed in the middle of the night to answer his phone, though; Jonghyun simply reached over and turned his phone off before Kibum could fully awaken, reminding Kibum that he had class the next day and that whatever the call was for, it could wait. Surprisingly, Kibum didn’t complain; he gave Jonghyun a sleepy smile, cuddling closer and pecking his jaw before dozing off again.
Kibum’s graduation came and went and Jonghyun was glad for the distraction that day brought, his smiles easy and heartfelt throughout as he watched Kibum cross the stage to retrieve his well-earned diploma. His parents and his grandmother had come up for the event and Jonghyun was more than happy to take turns posing in front of the camera with him and taking pictures himself. But the finality of Kibum’s departure settled in soon after, when Kibum slowly began setting things aside to pack one week before his booked flight.
Kibum seemed eager to make the most of that week, but not in the way Jonghyun had first suspected. Sure, his friends had dragged him out for a night at a norebang, and Kibum set aside another evening to spend with Onew, Minho and Taemin, but apart from that Kibum wanted to spend his last week in Seoul alone with Jonghyun and, well, Jonghyun could only agree.
They shared late nights that drifted into late mornings in bed, skin to skin and breathless more often than not, went out to their favourite restaurants and even caught a movie but spent the entirety of it making out in the back row. When their last night finally came, Jonghyun helped Kibum pack the rest of his things and when the both of them sat back in a half-empty dorm, Jonghyun took out his guitar to distract them from the two large suitcases standing by the door.
Kibum sat back against the headboard, quietly listening as Jonghyun played his own compositions as well as a few songs he was particularly fond of. Jonghyun was content to feel Kibum’s eyes on him throughout, finishing with a soft ballad he remembered writing in this very room while Kibum slept in their bed. Finally, he put his guitar away and crawled up to Kibum, stretching out on his side, Kibum scooting down to do the same; only now Kibum looked worried once more, no longer wearing the smile he’d had when Jonghyun had played. He raised himself above Jonghyun, resting on his elbow while his other hand settled on his chest.
“Am I crazy?” Kibum spoke lowly. “Is this crazy?”
Jonghyun sighed, reaching across his chest to thread his fingers with Kibum’s, thinking it was way too late for Kibum to be having second thoughts, anyway.
“No,” Jonghyun answered calmly, “a lot of people do it. Onew did it. You’ll come visit halfway, like we said, and the rest of the time I’ll be one phone call or text away. We’ll both be busy, Kibum,” Jonghyun reminded him gently. “I have two majors to finish up, here,” he went on, trying for a playful tone.
“I just,” Kibum began, his gaze drifting towards their hands for a second before meeting Jonghyun’s eyes again, “I’ll miss you.”
Jonghyun pulled him down with a hand to the back of his neck, resting their foreheads together just long enough to return an “I’ll miss you, too” before connecting their lips, kissing him deeply. Kibum returned it, shifting over him and nudging Jonghyun’s thighs, pressing in between them. Jonghyun revelled in his warmth, his weight, trying not to think about having to go without it so soon. Instead, he complied easily when Kibum rid him of his shirt and pants, then helped Kibum out of his clothes before pulling him in between his thighs again. Kibum prepared him slowly on lubed fingers, kissing him throughout and lingering longer than he knew Jonghyun needed, skilled fingers brushing over his spot again and again. Jonghyun was squirming on the bed, muscles straining as he tilted his hips up for more, eager for something else, but he didn’t rush him. He breathed out a sigh of relief when Kibum pulled his fingers away, Jonghyun reaching down to guide him as he finally sunk in. Kibum kept peppering him with kisses, only pulling away to pant into his neck when his thrusts got harder, sharper, before slowing down and starting all over again. His hands were everywhere, mapping flesh and muscles like he wanted to remember the feel of them and Jonghyun arched into each touch, moaning his pleasure for Kibum to hear. The sun was already rising by the time Kibum lay spent above him. Eventually, he managed to doze off but Jonghyun refused to fall asleep, fighting his own drowsiness to keep brushing his fingers through Kibum’s long brown hair, intent on watching him just a little longer.
He selfishly let Kibum sleep in later than he should have, gently shaking him awake a mere two hours after he had fallen asleep and ushering him into the shower. Jonghyun joined him halfway through, not passing up the chance to get his hands on Kibum’s skin again. He even offered to help soap him up, but Kibum just laughed at him, patting his cheek and reminding him that he was already a little late. Still, it wasn’t an outright “no” in Jonghyun’s book so he grabbed the soap and began rubbing Kibum’s back. Kibum let out a chuckle when Jonghyun reached his tailbone, twisting around to grip Jonghyun’s wrists.
“I’m going to be late,” he repeated with a small, crooked smile that revealed one of his dimples.
“You’re going to be clean,” Jonghyun countered, smiling back. Kibum turned around fully to kiss him and didn’t complain this time when Jonghyun freed his hands to slide them over his ass, grinning into their kiss. Still, Kibum was right, and Jonghyun pulled away some time later before either of them could forget themselves.
They got dressed quietly, and Jonghyun unashamedly watched as Kibum slipped on one article of clothing after the next, trying to commit every last thing to memory. Jonghyun then helped Kibum gather the remainder of his things into his bags and went to usher him out the door but Kibum paused in the doorway, turning back to face him.
“Wait,” he spoke, placing a hand to Jonghyun’s chest to stop him.
Jonghyun looked at him curiously, but caught on quickly when Kibum glanced around at the room behind him-the room they had spent nearly four years in, and suddenly it all felt too much like goodbye already.
“I want to leave here on a good memory,” Kibum said quickly. “Kiss me,” he blurted out, patting Jonghyun’s chest twice.
“Only if you kiss me back,” Jonghyun replied cheekily, and as expected Kibum was smiling when he backed him into the doorframe for a long, wet kiss with more than enough tongue. They were still making out messily, Kibum’s fingers now tangled in his hair and shirt, his tongue sliding against Jonghyun’s when the sound of someone clearing their throat had them pulling apart. Minho was standing in the hallway, Onew peeking out of their own dorm room, and Jonghyun couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them like this despite the interruption, fitting as it was.
“Have a safe trip, Kibum,” Minho told him solemnly, but broke into a smile when Kibum walked up to hug him.
“Let us know how everything goes,” Onew spoke when Kibum hugged him in turn. “Don’t forget to text us once in a while even if Jonghyun takes up all your time,” he added knowingly.
With one last wave, Jonghyun and Kibum left the building and climbed into the taxi that was already waiting for them. Kibum reached over to hold Jonghyun’s hand as they drove to the airport, squeezing it tighter once the large building came into view. Jonghyun had pictured this moment time and time again over the past few months, but nothing prepared him for the way his heart sped up as he helped Kibum roll his luggage inside. This is it, he thought as he watched Kibum register his luggage at the counter. In a few minutes, they would turn their backs to each other and it would be goodbye, see you in five months. Jonghyun pushed down the emotions bubbling up within him, determined to keep his eyes dry and to smile until the end, if only because Kibum needed that reassurance. Jonghyun knew that Kibum was more nervous about this internship than he let on, that he had enough worries already and the last thing Jonghyun wanted was to personally add to them. Like Kibum had said before, he needed to leave on a good memory and Jonghyun desperately wanted to honour that.
Kibum’s suitcases were loaded onto a rolling mat and Kibum proceeded behind the counter, headed towards security. Jonghyun followed behind, taking a deep breath and putting on what he hoped was a brave face as Kibum stopped to the side and turned around. He froze when Kibum’s rather blank expression crumbled in an instant, his eyes quickly filling with tears. It became so much harder, then, to keep himself from tearing up as well. Jonghyun bit his lip when he felt his chin quiver, quickly drawing Kibum in for a hug.
“I’m sorry,” Kibum mumbled from where he was huddled into his shoulder, and Jonghyun felt a bit foolish for thinking he could have tricked Kibum. Still, he took a deep breath, waiting until he was sure his voice was level enough to speak. “Don’t apologize, Kibum. I want you to do this, too,” he reminded him softly.
Kibum held on for a moment longer, breaking into audible sniffles as Jonghyun stroked along his back. He pulled away and rubbed at his nose, looking grateful when Jonghyun granted him a smile, albeit a shaky one. He wiped away Kibum’s tears with his thumbs and tilted Kibum’s face in to gently press their lips together.
“I have something for you,” Jonghyun whispered against his lips. That got Kibum’s attention, and Jonghyun leaned back to reach into the shoulder bag he had brought along. He pulled out the stuffed puppy he had carefully picked out a few weeks ago, handing it over to Kibum only to see him tear up all over again, but he also looked grateful this time.
“I got him so that at least he could, you know, go along with you,” Jonghyun explained sheepishly when Kibum kept staring at the small brown animal. “It’s soft and cuddly, too.”
Kibum smiled, wide and heart-breaking through his tears, clutching the stuffed puppy with one arm while he hugged Jonghyun with the other.
“Text me when you get to your gate,” Jonghyun carried on when Kibum proved too choked up to speak, “and then when you land. And every five minutes after that,” he added with a forced chuckle.
It took another minute or so of their quiet embrace but Kibum finally managed to speak in a slightly hoarse voice. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” And Kibum kissed him, one last time, lips plump and warm and sure beneath his, making his breath hitch. “Talk to you soon,” Jonghyun promised, Kibum nodding before he pulled back, finally stepping away with red-rimmed eyes and a tiny smile.
Jonghyun stood there, waiting and watching as Kibum slowly worked his way up the line to pass through security. He turned back to wave right before his turn came, and Jonghyun made sure to show him his best smile. Jonghyun stood there a little longer even after Kibum had disappeared, a strange feeling settling under his skin. They had never been apart for more than a few weeks since they had met in high school and now that Jonghyun had to go home knowing that Kibum wouldn’t come back in more than a few months, he felt out of sorts.
He eventually made it back to the dorm, body working mostly on autopilot, but when he unlocked the door he stopped in the doorway, taking in the room before him. Thinking of it as his home now felt slightly wrong, off-kilter. As tired as he was, he only spared the messy, unmade bed a brief glance, settling instead at his desk with his notebook, phone by his side, feeling the first of what he was sure would be many tears drip down the edge of his nose. He sniffled loudly, flipping through the inked pages of his notebook before turning to a blank one, smoothing it out and wiping the stray tear that had splattered onto it. He stared at the white paper, tapping his pen to his lips, and tried his best to work through the tears that only kept coming, determined.
***
“I’m thinking of naming him Jjamong,” Kibum told him, pointing to the brown plushie placed next to him on the bed. He had showed Jonghyun around his new living quarters via his webcam before settling onto his bed, laptop on his thighs.
“Ha ha, very cute,” Jonghyun humoured him, rather dryly, from his desk chair. “So, besides your apartment, what do you think of London so far?”
“It’s actually sunny outside, I’m disappointed,” Kibum answered at once. His enthusiasm was showing, even through his snark, and Jonghyun had to admit it was reassuring to see. “Where’s all the London fog I kept hearing about?”
“I’m sure you’ll experience that soon enough-and get sick of it soon enough.”
“You’re probably right,” Kibum conceded. “I don’t know, it’s really different here. Everything’s different. It’ll take a while to get used to.”
“I bet,” Jonghyun agreed; he could only imagine how unfamiliar all of it was. Beneath the longing, Jonghyun was truly proud of Kibum for doing this, brave as he was.
“Hey, check your desk drawer,” Kibum told him, seemingly out of the blue. Kibum was biting down on his lip when Jonghyun frowned, bending down to slide the drawer open. There were a few of what looked like rolled up shirts-Kibum’s shirts, Jonghyun recognized immediately- stacked neatly on top of Jonghyun’s books. Jonghyun quickly straightened himself, looking back at Kibum on his screen with round eyes.
“I left you a few of mine,” Kibum told him softly, although he was visibly amused by Jonghyun’s reaction, “because I kind of… took a few of yours.”
Jonghyun wasn’t exactly surprised, but the thought of Kibum stealing some of his t-shirts and hiding them in his suitcases made him smile, a gooey, warm feeling spreading through his chest. “Which ones?”
“Not telling,” Kibum replied quickly, smirking, “I want to see how long it takes you to figure that out yourself.”
“You didn’t just take t-shirts, did you,” Jonghyun stated, more amused than anything.
“Maybe,” Kibum answered, drawing out the word, and Jonghyun simply grew fonder.
“You took the couple shirt with you, yeah?”
Kibum nodded to the camera, reaching out to fiddle with the stuffed puppy by his hip. “Oh!” he let out loudly, and Jonghyun perked up at once. “We should wear them on the same days,” he said excitedly, “like every Sunday or something.”
“Every Sunday it is, starting from now,” Jonghyun agreed easily, liking the idea of having that little connection, regardless of distance.
They smiled at each other in silence for a moment before Kibum’s eyes flicked to the corner of his computer screen. “What time is it in Korea right now?”
Jonghyun chuckled despite himself, partly because of how late it was and partly because of how Kibum seemed to have forgotten about the time difference already. “It’s an eight hour difference, ‘Bum. It’s four… no wait, a bit past five a.m. now.”
“Jesus, Jjong, you should go to bed,” Kibum told him, looking a bit concerned.
“It’s alright.” Jonghyun shrugged; he wasn’t exactly lying.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Kibum went on, “well, later today for you, I guess.”
“It’s fine, really, Kibum,” Jonghyun assured him. “I’m not that tired.” Now this was a lie, but Jonghyun thought it sounded mildly better than I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall asleep and I don’t want to find out. It wasn’t a very clever lie judging by the knowing look Kibum gave him through the webcam, but Kibum didn’t call him out on it. Instead, they kept talking while the sun steadily rose outside Jonghyun’s small window.
***
Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to move out of this, their, dorm room. He wasn’t sure he wanted to part with all the memories they had made here just yet, only to move into another bland dorm room where he would feel truly alone. And yet, some days, Jonghyun learned that those memories could sting, leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mind when he remembered that Kibum was so far away, that he couldn’t sneak up behind him and whisper remember when’s to his ear.
He needed to find a new roommate if he wanted to keep the room, but he didn’t want to disturb Onew or Minho since both of them would still be sharing the room next door. Onew was going onto his second year of his Master’s program while Minho was beginning his first physiotherapy internship at the school’s clinic and wanted to take a few extra classes. It all fell into place however when one day Minho suggested he ask Taemin.
“He’ll be a laid-back roommate,” Minho praised, even though Jonghyun needed no further convincing-rooming with a complete stranger wasn’t exactly ideal and he was out of options. “He probably won’t even be around that much.” Jonghyun nodded at this; Taemin tended to disappear a lot.
“I’ll ask him,” Jonghyun agreed, pulling out his phone to text him his proposition. A simple sure was his answer a few minutes later, and Jonghyun breathed a sigh of relief.
“You didn’t want to move out of there, did you,” Minho stated, observing Jonghyun from across the small table they were seated at, in that weirdly intuitive way of his.
Jonghyun shook his head from side to side but didn’t say more, instead taking a sip of his coffee.
“Well,” Minho continued, “at least it’ll be quieter now.”
Jonghyun snorted into his cup; he considered staying silent but the opportunity was too good to resist. “You know,” he started, fighting back a grin, “I have these awesome external speakers for my laptop.”
It took a second, but Minho eventually understood what Jonghyun was getting at. “That’s… kinky.”
“He’ll be gone for months-our options are kind of limited,” Jonghyun remarked bluntly.
Minho made a face. “I get that,” he admitted, albeit uncomfortably, “I meant the, uh, whole HQ sound experience of it.”
“Oh.” Jonghyun would have laughed if he hadn’t already thought of using his speakers for that very purpose.
“So,” Minho uttered in a rush, apparently eager to move onto another topic, “how’s Kibum’s internship going? He started two days ago, no?”
“Yeah,” and a small smile came to Jonghyun’s lips when he thought of how Kibum had kept him on the phone at ungodly hours of the morning to tell him all about his second day on the job, “he says it’s a bit of a shock to work and talk in English all the time, but he’ll be fine. There’s another student from Japan interning there, too. Kibum said she seemed a bit reserved with him, but nice enough. I think he forgets how intimidating he can be sometimes.”
“You must be pretty happy she’s a girl,” Minho interrupted, teasing grin in place.
“Shut up.”
“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Jonghyun.”
“Will you shut the fuck up?”
Minho chuckled but thankfully obeyed, leaving Jonghyun to brood into his cup of coffee.
***
Jonghyun lay on the bed, staring at the white ceiling. The sunrise was casting a warm orange light throughout the room, something he had become intimately familiar with over the past week and a half. He had shut off his computer over an hour ago after having chatted with Kibum and sleep still eluded him. He hadn’t managed a good night’s sleep since the day before Kibum left; he now dreaded crawling into bed, nervously waiting for sleep to come. Jonghyun knew it was pathetic-the thought crossed his mind over and over again as he tossed and turned in a bed that seemed entirely too big now-but he couldn’t help it. In turn, that thought bred doubt and anxiety, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up once the new school year started. Still, he considered staying up to wait on Kibum to call a good excuse to forgo sleep, but Kibum caught onto him faster than he would have hoped.
“We’ll have to find another time to talk once school starts again,” Kibum said after having rambled on about his coworkers. “This eight hour difference is really tricky.”
Jonghyun nodded; it sucked. It meant Kibum would be at work while Jonghyun was home from classes, and Kibum would probably be going to bed around the time Jonghyun woke up. Assuming he ever fell asleep, that is.
“I start later on Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Jonghyun suggested, pulling up his schedule for the semester, “so we could talk on those mornings. Well, mornings for me, nights for you.”
Kibum looked a little unsure, pulling the stuffed puppy to his chest as he shifted onto his side, laptop in front of him on the bed. He was wearing his wire-framed glasses and one of Jonghyun’s missing hoodies, too. Jonghyun had spent a few long minutes looking for it over the past weeks, so he hadn’t been exactly surprised to see it on Kibum but the image had still made him smile. “It would have to be very early in the morning for you, though,” Kibum mused.
“I can do that,” Jonghyun agreed lightly. A part of him reasoned that if he wasn’t going to be getting a lot of sleep, he might as well use up that time. Jonghyun apparently wasn’t as subtle as he hoped because Kibum’s expression darkened enough for Jonghyun to notice despite the slightly grainy video.
“You look tired,” he spoke softly, looking concerned.
Jonghyun sighed; he had known Kibum would mention it eventually, and he didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to worry Kibum either. “Yeah, it’s just…” he began, shrugging as though to brush it off, “sleep’s a bit slow to come lately.”
To his surprise, Kibum muttered a small, “I know.”
“Are you sleeping okay?” Jonghyun asked at once, frowning. Sure, Kibum sometimes seemed a little more subdued than usual when they talked, but he seemed excited and enthusiastic enough whenever he recounted his day.
“It was hard for the first week or so,” Kibum told him, nudging his glasses back up his nose, “but by then I was so tired that I kind of just… settled. It’s been a bit easier since.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Jonghyun spoke honestly. He was becoming all too familiar with the side effects of insomnia and didn’t wish them on anyone. “But I’ll be fine.”
Kibum didn’t seem convinced as he looked Jonghyun over, concern still swimming in his eyes, but he didn’t press on. Instead, he asked about Minho and Onew and Jonghyun welcomed the distraction. That morning, before signing off, Kibum mumbled a soft “I really miss you, I love you,” into the neck of his-Jonghyun’s-hoodie and, really, how was Jonghyun supposed to find sleep after that?
***
It happened for the first time the following weekend, and Jonghyun hadn’t expected it to be so awkward.
He video-called Kibum as soon as he saw the other sign in, only to be met with the sight of Kibum leaning back against the headboard of his bed in nothing but tight, slightly see-through, black briefs.
Instead of gawking appreciatively at the screen like he should have, Jonghyun sort of… yelped.
“Jesus, Kibum, I could’ve had somebody with me!” he blurted out, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks.
Kibum looked unimpressed. “That’s why I kept my boxers on,” he said simply. “Now get naked with me.”
Jonghyun looked on, frozen still, as Kibum slipped off the underwear before reclining onto his pillows, legs spread. Kibum had been lucky enough to get a double bed, big enough not to jostle his laptop as he moved around. Jonghyun suddenly appreciated that even more now that Kibum’s lithe form was draped all over it. His dyed-brown hair was splayed messily across his forehead, his fleshy thighs parted invitingly and Jonghyun would have given anything to crawl through the screen and burry his head between them. Kibum was looking straight into the camera, eyes dark and promising and Jonghyun’s heart thudded in his chest; he was truly beautiful.
“Jonghyun,” Kibum called out tersely. “Shirt, pants, everything-off.”
“Okay, okay,” he mumbled in return, stripping out of his shirt. He was unbuttoning his fly when he noticed Kibum was already hard but hadn’t touched himself yet.
“Push your chair back,” Kibum instructed in the same slightly commanding tone, “I want to see you.”
Jonghyun did, adjusting his screen a bit, all the while wondering why his heart was beating so damn hard. This was Kibum, and yet there was something about being separated by a screen that made Jonghyun highly self-conscious, all too self-aware. And yet Kibum looked very much at ease, spread out as he was in front of his laptop.
Jonghyun squirmed on his desk chair and almost slid off the edge when he removed his pants and underwear, wondering just how less sexy he could get while mentally pitying Kibum, who had to watch this. Jonghyun felt his ego deflate even more when Kibum chuckled at his clumsiness.
“Just relax,” Kibum advised, visibly amused. He was now stroking himself slowly, eyes trained to his webcam.
Jonghyun focused of the steady movement of his hand before letting his eyes wander up Kibum’s pale, naked chest, stopping finally on his plump lips. Kibum parted them almost obscenely in a loud sigh, and Jonghyun felt his own dick twitch at the sight, warmth pooling between his legs.
“You know, the point was for you to j-jerk off, too,” Kibum reminded him, stuttering mid-sentence when his thumb reached out to swipe at the tip of his dick.
Jonghyun slowly reached down to grip himself, the flesh warm beneath his palm. The position was slightly uncomfortable, the back of the chair entirely too straight, but Jonghyun tried not to let that show through.
“Come on, get yourself hard.”
Jonghyun tentatively matched Kibum’s pace, wondering if jacking off in front of a computer with your boyfriend watching was always supposed to feel this awkward.
“Talk to me, Jjong.” The feeling wasn’t mutual, apparently.
Of course, Jonghyun blanked out then; he was having a hard time coming up with something to say that didn’t sound remotely embarrassing. But Kibum was waiting, hand trailing to tease his inner thigh, so Jonghyun settled on a truth. “Y-you look so gorgeous.”
Kibum had the nerve to giggle, hand returning to give his dick a few more tugs. “Not bad, but you’ll get used to it,” Kibum assured him as he shifted on the mattress, “I have an idea.”
He turned around on the bed, pulling his knees underneath him and raising himself on all fours. Jonghyun let out a moan, grip tightening around himself when Kibum unashamedly titled his ass up towards the camera.
Kibum let out a small sound himself, his voice muted now that he had turned away. “It’s been too long,” he said breathlessly, “I want to hear you.”
Jonghyun whimpered out a feeble “Yeah,” when Kibum spread his legs further, reaching between them to grip his cock again. It was a bit easier after that to forget about being self-conscious, to let moans and groans slip from his lips without holding them back. He focused on the sight of Kibum bent over his sheets, pleasuring himself, and suddenly it was like he couldn’t come soon enough. Kibum was slower, more deliberate in his movements, but a few minutes into it he seemed to give in, resting his fist against the mattress to roll his hips into it. Jonghyun moaned his praise, eyeing the curve of his back and ass as he came, spilling onto his chest, unable to tear his eyes away. Kibum visibly shuddered at the sound, growing more impatient and it took him another minute to finish, rolling over onto his back with a lazy grin afterwards.
“Well,” he said, tone conversational despite the both of them being out of breath and covered in cum, “that was a first.”
Jonghyun couldn’t help but chuckle at it all, Kibum joining in shortly.
“Sorry,” Jonghyun amended quietly. It may not have been the kind of sex he had become used to with Kibum, but he had to admit it still felt pretty good.
“You were fine,” Kibum replied quickly, sounding honest enough to Jonghyun’s ears, “just a bit quiet.”
“I meant it, though,” Jonghyun told him, “you really do look gorgeous.”
“Thanks, Jjong,” Kibum spoke with a small, soft smile, “I love you.”
Jonghyun smiled back, eyes wandering down Kibum’s chest. “You know, if I was there right now I would lick you clean.”
Kibum groaned, rolling onto his side and pulling his laptop closer. “Of course now you decide to talk.”
Jonghyun chuckled again, pulling himself closer to his desk and readjusting his screen as well. “I love you, too.”
***
Jonghyun spent the remainder of his break doing much the same; in between talking to Kibum (and jerking off with Kibum) and lying awake in bed, he also spent a lot of time with Minho who seemed keen on not letting him wallow in his loneliness. He’d also been writing more than usual; lyrics came easily these days, granted they weren’t particularly uplifting but Jonghyun took whatever he could get. Taemin eventually moved in, and Jonghyun and Minho helped him move his rather meager belongings into the dorm. Rooming with Taemin turned out to be not so different from rooming with a ghost: Jonghyun didn’t see him much but his things moved around once in a while, evidence that Taemin had been there. Jonghyun suspected he had a girlfriend (or boyfriend?) who was more than happy to welcome him into their bed at night, although Taemin always remained very vague about it. Even Minho was baffled by his secrecy, which Jonghyun considered an accomplishment in itself.
The last Sunday before the beginning of semester, Jonghyun picked up some jjajangmyeon on the way back from the gym before settling at his desk and video-calling Kibum. It was Kibum who had suggested that they sit down and “eat together”. Minho had somehow found out about their plans and proclaimed it the saddest date in history, but Jonghyun thought it still beat eating alone while staring at what was now Taemin’s half of the room.
“What did you get?” Jonghyun asked, watching as Kibum unwrapped his lunch while sitting cross-legged on his bed.
“Indian,” Kibum replied, and Jonghyun paused at the fact that Kibum was taking out a fork to eat, even though it was technically appropriate, “the food here gets kind of… bland, after a while. I needed some spices.”
“You miss spicy food?”
“I’m pretty sure you would miss spicy food after only a day here,” Kibum said knowingly, biting back a small smile.
“Maybe I should go and find out,” Jonghyun said before shoving a huge bite of noodles into his mouth.
“Are you serious?” Kibum blurted out, boxed food forgotten on his lap as he stared at Jonghyun intently. “We never talked about you coming-I mean, the flights are pretty expensive…” he trailed off.
Jonghyun shrugged; now that he’d mentioned it, the idea intrigued him. “I can try to save up,” he suggested. “Or oh! Maybe sell another song.”
Kibum rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Show off,” he teased. “For what it’s worth, I would love to have you here, but I don’t want you going bankrupt over it. I know you’ve been saving up for a future apartment.”
“Our future apartment,” Jonghyun corrected, and Kibum broke into a soft smile at the mention.
“You are aware I’ll help pay for that,” Kibum said casually around a mouthful.
“The perks of marrying rich,” Jonghyun sing-songed with a wave of his chopsticks.
“We’re not married,” Kibum returned, point black, although he was smiling into his box.
“Minho says we act like it.”
There was a slight pause during which Kibum looked very interested in the piece of tandoori chicken he had speared onto his fork. “I guess we do,” he finally admitted, looking up to meet Jonghyun’s eyes with a small smile.
Later that night, Jonghyun thought back on their conversation and realized that, no, they may not have been married, but they had been talking about shared finances and apartments despite being separated by an entire continent and that was perhaps just as grand.
***
By the end of the first week of classes, Jonghyun’s sleeping habits had only barely improved. He felt perpetually tired, to the point where keeping from dozing off in the middle of class had become a challenge. To top it all off, he and Kibum hadn’t managed to coordinate their schedules to chat via webcam that week, leaving Jonghyun feeling at a loss by the end of it. Minho had dragged him into his and Onew’s room to play video games with them Friday night, and while Jonghyun was thankful for it, it was hard to explain to them how he still felt lonely, or mopey, even. At times, he managed to forget himself, and in those moments smiles came easily, but then he would inevitably remember that he couldn’t simply open his door to find Kibum on the other side, that he couldn’t hold him and kiss him and surround himself with the other’s touch to chase away all thoughts of his week.
By the second week, Jonghyun was convinced that time zones sucked; the only time during the week when neither of them was sleeping, working or in class turned out to be during Kibum’s lunch breaks. They still traded texts throughout the day (and part of the night in Jonghyun’s case), but that was only a small comfort compared to actually talking to and seeing each other. They always talked on weekends, and it was a bit ridiculous how giddy Jonghyun would get every Sunday, when he would open their video chat session to see Kibum sitting on his bed, wearing his white version of their couple shirts.
Kibum had quickly settled in at the company he interned at, easily making friends with his coworkers and often joining them after work for food and drinks. He even went shopping sometimes with the other Japanese intern, Ayano, who had eventually warmed up to him much like Jonghyun had predicted.
“Everybody just calls her Aya,” Kibum had told him, “except they all have British accents, so it’s kind of weird. And, uh, everybody started calling me Key, now.”
Jonghyun hadn’t known what to make of the nickname at first, but Kibum hadn’t seem bothered, and it was rather cute. Kibum also said he still hadn’t quite gotten used to functioning entirely in English, but that it was becoming easier and easier to speak it casually. It all came with practice, like any language.
That got Jonghyun thinking about how his own English skills paled in comparison. Sure, he had gone through the mandatory classes, had even taken one in university but he had never practiced speaking it enough for it to be useful.
More than that, it had Jonghyun thinking of a possibility he had never seriously considered until now. Kibum loved England; he had wanted to go long before he had found that internship, and now that he was finally there he was obviously enjoying it. Kibum often commented on how everything was so different there, but Jonghyun was certain that with time things would stop seeming unfamiliar to him. They would become just another reality, and the gist of it all was that Kibum may want to stay longer once his internship was over, especially if he was offered a job. And if there was one thing Jonghyun had learned over the past few weeks, it was that he didn’t want to be apart from Kibum for much longer than he had to.
After a quick consultation online for recommendations, Jonghyun went to the campus bookstore the following day, heading straight for the Languages section. He browsed for the title he had scribbled down the night before and purchased the grammar practice book without another thought.
He left the book in his desk drawer, pulling it out in his free time or in between projects to read and annotate it. He went through the first few chapters quickly, but after that every chapter became more and more complex and Jonghyun could easily lose himself for an hour or two, pouring into the book.
Next
Rating: NC-17
Genre: slice of life, fluff, angst, copious amounts of smut
Word count: ~20 700
Summary: With college drawing to an end, Kibum begins planning the next step. Jonghyun never thought he was the type to agonize over decisions, but then again he’d never been faced with a decision quite like this. Thankfully, Kibum is there in the end to make things easier.
A/N: I’ve had this sequel in mind for a few months now, but never had the guts to write it down. After a little nudge, I started writing it and this fic sort of became rather self-indulgent, lol. A huge thank you to the wonderful k_pop4life for being my personal beloved cheerleader while I wrote this ♥
This is a sequel to my college verse, In the Meantime, for which I made a masterpost here. I suggest having read at least the first two installments of that verse if you want to know more or less what’s going on. One little clarification: Jonghyun, Key and Minho are the same age in this verse.
Thank you so much for reading, it's been a while since I wrote something this long and I'm a little nervous. I really hope you enjoy this!
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It all started one evening, after Jonghyun had trudged back home from the gym. And by home he meant their dorm; they had been in this room for so long, almost four years spent living with Kibum, sharing beds and showers and meals that to Jonghyun it had truly become his home.
He punched in the code to their room, looking forward to stripping down and curling up with Kibum on their bed, maybe even watching a movie on his laptop if Kibum was feeling up to it. He closed the door behind himself, toeing off his shoes with an absent-minded smile and greeted Kibum, “Hey.”
He looked up when Kibum didn’t answer only to see him push away from his desk, standing to face Jonghyun at once. He was frowning, hands folded together in front of him with his shoulders drawn in and Jonghyun didn’t need to look twice to know something was bothering him.
“Whoa,” Jonghyun uttered quickly, dropping his gym bag before reaching out for him, “what is it?”
Kibum locked eyes with him and held his gaze for a moment before speaking, “I want your opinion on something.”
Jonghyun tried not to let the confusion he was feeling show through, instead agreeing with a simple “Okay, shoot.”
Kibum pulled him over to the bed, seating them down side by side and Jonghyun remained silent, anxiousness brewing within him at how unusual this all seemed.
“Your honest opinion,” Kibum continued, in a way that did nothing to ease Jonghyun’s worry.
“Kibum, what’s going on?”
“You know how I’ve been looking for an internship after I graduate?” Kibum reminded him, and Jonghyun nodded adamantly, aware of his plans yet failing to see what this was leading up to. “Well, I’ve found one that would be perfect for me but, uhm, it’s a little farther than the others I’ve been considering.”
Kibum’s gaze flitted away as he spoke those last words, and that was when Jonghyun felt his stomach drop.
“H-how far?”
“London,” he said quietly, “England.”
The silence that followed was an all-encompassing pause, the kind that seemed to stop time itself, and Jonghyun struggled to wrap his mind around what Kibum had just told him. Suddenly, Kibum’s previous demeanour felt all too appropriate; Jonghyun sagged onto the mattress, too many thoughts rushing through his mind.
“How long?” he eventually asked, because regardless of the answer he wanted to know.
“This one’s one year long,” Kibum answered in the same quiet manner.
One year, Jonghyun thought. He knew Kibum well enough to realize that he wouldn’t have brought it up unless it meant a lot to him and that the frown he’d been wearing since Jonghyun had stepped inside meant he knew what this entailed. Jonghyun knew better than to doubt him, but he still had to make sure.
“You say it’s perfect?” he asked, hoping Kibum would elaborate.
“It is,” and some of Kibum’s tension seemed to leave him as he continued at a fast pace, rambling, “I’d be interning at a media company, and they said they were looking to branch out into Asian markets, so hopefully I could really make something good there, you know? And making connections wouldn’t hurt, and I’ve always wanted to go to London.”
Jonghyun nodded at this, a small smile slipping through despite everything. Kibum let out a nervous chuckle in turn, but it was enough to give Jonghyun a glimpse of the excitement buried deep under his concerns. That, more than anything, was what won Jonghyun over; Kibum wanted this, and it really did sound like a great opportunity.
“Okay,” was all Jonghyun said.
“Okay?” Kibum repeated, turning round eyes on Jonghyun, searching.
“Yeah,” Jonghyun sighed, trying for another small smile. “You should apply.”
Kibum stared at him, mouth agape, before launching himself into him, arms wrapping tightly around his neck. “Thank you,” he whispered to Jonghyun’s ear, arms only tightening. Jonghyun pulled him further into his lap, leaning into him and resting his head on his shoulder, burrowing into his neck, taking in his scent. It was as familiar as the arms around him, and Jonghyun tried to push away the thought of spending a year without feeling them that was nagging at the back of his mind.
***
Two months later, Jonghyun found himself in a disturbingly similar situation.
He had just made it back to the dorm from the gym, opening the door to find Kibum scrambling up from his desk to face him, hands clutching what looked like a thick, formal envelope. And even if the restlessness written all over his features hadn’t been enough, his next words would have clued Jonghyun in anyway.
“I got my answer, from London,” he said at once, in his usual straightforward manner. “I was accepted.”
Jonghyun dropped his bag at the door and took a slow breath before advancing into the room to face Kibum with a smile. “Congratulations, babe,” he said, and meant it.
Much like the last time, Kibum was in his arms the next second, letter tossed to the side in favour of holding Jonghyun back. They stood there, embracing, for a long time, and it took a while for Jonghyun to notice the tears leaking down Kibum’s cheeks. When he pulled back, Kibum merely gave him a watery smile, lips twitching, and Jonghyun understood. He was proud, happy even because he knew this meant a lot to Kibum, but a part of him just couldn’t get excited about it. Instead, it fixated on how he’d be unable to feel this-Kibum against him, holding him-for an entire year.
They eventually moved to the bed, and Jonghyun had taken to kissing along Kibum’s tear tracks, willing them away. He was nuzzling his cheek when Kibum spoke up, voice slightly rough.
“We can do this, right?”
Jonghyun pulled back and kissed him on the lips, ignoring the slight burn behind his own eyelids. “We can,” he mumbled to his mouth, “we will.”
Kibum kissed him again, harder, and Jonghyun could tell they were both done talking for the night. They still had a lot to discuss, a lot to figure out, but Jonghyun was relieved to think it could wait a little longer.
***
The rest of the semester went by way too quickly, in Jonghyun’s opinion. Admittedly, focusing on his projects and assignments sometimes got a little hard when thoughts of Kibum’s internship would ambush him out of nowhere, leaving him lost in his mind for a while. But Jonghyun made do, putting those thoughts on hold by pulling Kibum closer whenever he was around.
Kibum was rather busy, charged with finishing his last semester as well as planning the details of his move. It wasn’t uncommon for him to spend an hour or so on the phone at weird hours of the day, talking to his future supervisor. Jonghyun did draw the line at him getting out of bed in the middle of the night to answer his phone, though; Jonghyun simply reached over and turned his phone off before Kibum could fully awaken, reminding Kibum that he had class the next day and that whatever the call was for, it could wait. Surprisingly, Kibum didn’t complain; he gave Jonghyun a sleepy smile, cuddling closer and pecking his jaw before dozing off again.
Kibum’s graduation came and went and Jonghyun was glad for the distraction that day brought, his smiles easy and heartfelt throughout as he watched Kibum cross the stage to retrieve his well-earned diploma. His parents and his grandmother had come up for the event and Jonghyun was more than happy to take turns posing in front of the camera with him and taking pictures himself. But the finality of Kibum’s departure settled in soon after, when Kibum slowly began setting things aside to pack one week before his booked flight.
Kibum seemed eager to make the most of that week, but not in the way Jonghyun had first suspected. Sure, his friends had dragged him out for a night at a norebang, and Kibum set aside another evening to spend with Onew, Minho and Taemin, but apart from that Kibum wanted to spend his last week in Seoul alone with Jonghyun and, well, Jonghyun could only agree.
They shared late nights that drifted into late mornings in bed, skin to skin and breathless more often than not, went out to their favourite restaurants and even caught a movie but spent the entirety of it making out in the back row. When their last night finally came, Jonghyun helped Kibum pack the rest of his things and when the both of them sat back in a half-empty dorm, Jonghyun took out his guitar to distract them from the two large suitcases standing by the door.
Kibum sat back against the headboard, quietly listening as Jonghyun played his own compositions as well as a few songs he was particularly fond of. Jonghyun was content to feel Kibum’s eyes on him throughout, finishing with a soft ballad he remembered writing in this very room while Kibum slept in their bed. Finally, he put his guitar away and crawled up to Kibum, stretching out on his side, Kibum scooting down to do the same; only now Kibum looked worried once more, no longer wearing the smile he’d had when Jonghyun had played. He raised himself above Jonghyun, resting on his elbow while his other hand settled on his chest.
“Am I crazy?” Kibum spoke lowly. “Is this crazy?”
Jonghyun sighed, reaching across his chest to thread his fingers with Kibum’s, thinking it was way too late for Kibum to be having second thoughts, anyway.
“No,” Jonghyun answered calmly, “a lot of people do it. Onew did it. You’ll come visit halfway, like we said, and the rest of the time I’ll be one phone call or text away. We’ll both be busy, Kibum,” Jonghyun reminded him gently. “I have two majors to finish up, here,” he went on, trying for a playful tone.
“I just,” Kibum began, his gaze drifting towards their hands for a second before meeting Jonghyun’s eyes again, “I’ll miss you.”
Jonghyun pulled him down with a hand to the back of his neck, resting their foreheads together just long enough to return an “I’ll miss you, too” before connecting their lips, kissing him deeply. Kibum returned it, shifting over him and nudging Jonghyun’s thighs, pressing in between them. Jonghyun revelled in his warmth, his weight, trying not to think about having to go without it so soon. Instead, he complied easily when Kibum rid him of his shirt and pants, then helped Kibum out of his clothes before pulling him in between his thighs again. Kibum prepared him slowly on lubed fingers, kissing him throughout and lingering longer than he knew Jonghyun needed, skilled fingers brushing over his spot again and again. Jonghyun was squirming on the bed, muscles straining as he tilted his hips up for more, eager for something else, but he didn’t rush him. He breathed out a sigh of relief when Kibum pulled his fingers away, Jonghyun reaching down to guide him as he finally sunk in. Kibum kept peppering him with kisses, only pulling away to pant into his neck when his thrusts got harder, sharper, before slowing down and starting all over again. His hands were everywhere, mapping flesh and muscles like he wanted to remember the feel of them and Jonghyun arched into each touch, moaning his pleasure for Kibum to hear. The sun was already rising by the time Kibum lay spent above him. Eventually, he managed to doze off but Jonghyun refused to fall asleep, fighting his own drowsiness to keep brushing his fingers through Kibum’s long brown hair, intent on watching him just a little longer.
He selfishly let Kibum sleep in later than he should have, gently shaking him awake a mere two hours after he had fallen asleep and ushering him into the shower. Jonghyun joined him halfway through, not passing up the chance to get his hands on Kibum’s skin again. He even offered to help soap him up, but Kibum just laughed at him, patting his cheek and reminding him that he was already a little late. Still, it wasn’t an outright “no” in Jonghyun’s book so he grabbed the soap and began rubbing Kibum’s back. Kibum let out a chuckle when Jonghyun reached his tailbone, twisting around to grip Jonghyun’s wrists.
“I’m going to be late,” he repeated with a small, crooked smile that revealed one of his dimples.
“You’re going to be clean,” Jonghyun countered, smiling back. Kibum turned around fully to kiss him and didn’t complain this time when Jonghyun freed his hands to slide them over his ass, grinning into their kiss. Still, Kibum was right, and Jonghyun pulled away some time later before either of them could forget themselves.
They got dressed quietly, and Jonghyun unashamedly watched as Kibum slipped on one article of clothing after the next, trying to commit every last thing to memory. Jonghyun then helped Kibum gather the remainder of his things into his bags and went to usher him out the door but Kibum paused in the doorway, turning back to face him.
“Wait,” he spoke, placing a hand to Jonghyun’s chest to stop him.
Jonghyun looked at him curiously, but caught on quickly when Kibum glanced around at the room behind him-the room they had spent nearly four years in, and suddenly it all felt too much like goodbye already.
“I want to leave here on a good memory,” Kibum said quickly. “Kiss me,” he blurted out, patting Jonghyun’s chest twice.
“Only if you kiss me back,” Jonghyun replied cheekily, and as expected Kibum was smiling when he backed him into the doorframe for a long, wet kiss with more than enough tongue. They were still making out messily, Kibum’s fingers now tangled in his hair and shirt, his tongue sliding against Jonghyun’s when the sound of someone clearing their throat had them pulling apart. Minho was standing in the hallway, Onew peeking out of their own dorm room, and Jonghyun couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them like this despite the interruption, fitting as it was.
“Have a safe trip, Kibum,” Minho told him solemnly, but broke into a smile when Kibum walked up to hug him.
“Let us know how everything goes,” Onew spoke when Kibum hugged him in turn. “Don’t forget to text us once in a while even if Jonghyun takes up all your time,” he added knowingly.
With one last wave, Jonghyun and Kibum left the building and climbed into the taxi that was already waiting for them. Kibum reached over to hold Jonghyun’s hand as they drove to the airport, squeezing it tighter once the large building came into view. Jonghyun had pictured this moment time and time again over the past few months, but nothing prepared him for the way his heart sped up as he helped Kibum roll his luggage inside. This is it, he thought as he watched Kibum register his luggage at the counter. In a few minutes, they would turn their backs to each other and it would be goodbye, see you in five months. Jonghyun pushed down the emotions bubbling up within him, determined to keep his eyes dry and to smile until the end, if only because Kibum needed that reassurance. Jonghyun knew that Kibum was more nervous about this internship than he let on, that he had enough worries already and the last thing Jonghyun wanted was to personally add to them. Like Kibum had said before, he needed to leave on a good memory and Jonghyun desperately wanted to honour that.
Kibum’s suitcases were loaded onto a rolling mat and Kibum proceeded behind the counter, headed towards security. Jonghyun followed behind, taking a deep breath and putting on what he hoped was a brave face as Kibum stopped to the side and turned around. He froze when Kibum’s rather blank expression crumbled in an instant, his eyes quickly filling with tears. It became so much harder, then, to keep himself from tearing up as well. Jonghyun bit his lip when he felt his chin quiver, quickly drawing Kibum in for a hug.
“I’m sorry,” Kibum mumbled from where he was huddled into his shoulder, and Jonghyun felt a bit foolish for thinking he could have tricked Kibum. Still, he took a deep breath, waiting until he was sure his voice was level enough to speak. “Don’t apologize, Kibum. I want you to do this, too,” he reminded him softly.
Kibum held on for a moment longer, breaking into audible sniffles as Jonghyun stroked along his back. He pulled away and rubbed at his nose, looking grateful when Jonghyun granted him a smile, albeit a shaky one. He wiped away Kibum’s tears with his thumbs and tilted Kibum’s face in to gently press their lips together.
“I have something for you,” Jonghyun whispered against his lips. That got Kibum’s attention, and Jonghyun leaned back to reach into the shoulder bag he had brought along. He pulled out the stuffed puppy he had carefully picked out a few weeks ago, handing it over to Kibum only to see him tear up all over again, but he also looked grateful this time.
“I got him so that at least he could, you know, go along with you,” Jonghyun explained sheepishly when Kibum kept staring at the small brown animal. “It’s soft and cuddly, too.”
Kibum smiled, wide and heart-breaking through his tears, clutching the stuffed puppy with one arm while he hugged Jonghyun with the other.
“Text me when you get to your gate,” Jonghyun carried on when Kibum proved too choked up to speak, “and then when you land. And every five minutes after that,” he added with a forced chuckle.
It took another minute or so of their quiet embrace but Kibum finally managed to speak in a slightly hoarse voice. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” And Kibum kissed him, one last time, lips plump and warm and sure beneath his, making his breath hitch. “Talk to you soon,” Jonghyun promised, Kibum nodding before he pulled back, finally stepping away with red-rimmed eyes and a tiny smile.
Jonghyun stood there, waiting and watching as Kibum slowly worked his way up the line to pass through security. He turned back to wave right before his turn came, and Jonghyun made sure to show him his best smile. Jonghyun stood there a little longer even after Kibum had disappeared, a strange feeling settling under his skin. They had never been apart for more than a few weeks since they had met in high school and now that Jonghyun had to go home knowing that Kibum wouldn’t come back in more than a few months, he felt out of sorts.
He eventually made it back to the dorm, body working mostly on autopilot, but when he unlocked the door he stopped in the doorway, taking in the room before him. Thinking of it as his home now felt slightly wrong, off-kilter. As tired as he was, he only spared the messy, unmade bed a brief glance, settling instead at his desk with his notebook, phone by his side, feeling the first of what he was sure would be many tears drip down the edge of his nose. He sniffled loudly, flipping through the inked pages of his notebook before turning to a blank one, smoothing it out and wiping the stray tear that had splattered onto it. He stared at the white paper, tapping his pen to his lips, and tried his best to work through the tears that only kept coming, determined.
***
“I’m thinking of naming him Jjamong,” Kibum told him, pointing to the brown plushie placed next to him on the bed. He had showed Jonghyun around his new living quarters via his webcam before settling onto his bed, laptop on his thighs.
“Ha ha, very cute,” Jonghyun humoured him, rather dryly, from his desk chair. “So, besides your apartment, what do you think of London so far?”
“It’s actually sunny outside, I’m disappointed,” Kibum answered at once. His enthusiasm was showing, even through his snark, and Jonghyun had to admit it was reassuring to see. “Where’s all the London fog I kept hearing about?”
“I’m sure you’ll experience that soon enough-and get sick of it soon enough.”
“You’re probably right,” Kibum conceded. “I don’t know, it’s really different here. Everything’s different. It’ll take a while to get used to.”
“I bet,” Jonghyun agreed; he could only imagine how unfamiliar all of it was. Beneath the longing, Jonghyun was truly proud of Kibum for doing this, brave as he was.
“Hey, check your desk drawer,” Kibum told him, seemingly out of the blue. Kibum was biting down on his lip when Jonghyun frowned, bending down to slide the drawer open. There were a few of what looked like rolled up shirts-Kibum’s shirts, Jonghyun recognized immediately- stacked neatly on top of Jonghyun’s books. Jonghyun quickly straightened himself, looking back at Kibum on his screen with round eyes.
“I left you a few of mine,” Kibum told him softly, although he was visibly amused by Jonghyun’s reaction, “because I kind of… took a few of yours.”
Jonghyun wasn’t exactly surprised, but the thought of Kibum stealing some of his t-shirts and hiding them in his suitcases made him smile, a gooey, warm feeling spreading through his chest. “Which ones?”
“Not telling,” Kibum replied quickly, smirking, “I want to see how long it takes you to figure that out yourself.”
“You didn’t just take t-shirts, did you,” Jonghyun stated, more amused than anything.
“Maybe,” Kibum answered, drawing out the word, and Jonghyun simply grew fonder.
“You took the couple shirt with you, yeah?”
Kibum nodded to the camera, reaching out to fiddle with the stuffed puppy by his hip. “Oh!” he let out loudly, and Jonghyun perked up at once. “We should wear them on the same days,” he said excitedly, “like every Sunday or something.”
“Every Sunday it is, starting from now,” Jonghyun agreed easily, liking the idea of having that little connection, regardless of distance.
They smiled at each other in silence for a moment before Kibum’s eyes flicked to the corner of his computer screen. “What time is it in Korea right now?”
Jonghyun chuckled despite himself, partly because of how late it was and partly because of how Kibum seemed to have forgotten about the time difference already. “It’s an eight hour difference, ‘Bum. It’s four… no wait, a bit past five a.m. now.”
“Jesus, Jjong, you should go to bed,” Kibum told him, looking a bit concerned.
“It’s alright.” Jonghyun shrugged; he wasn’t exactly lying.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Kibum went on, “well, later today for you, I guess.”
“It’s fine, really, Kibum,” Jonghyun assured him. “I’m not that tired.” Now this was a lie, but Jonghyun thought it sounded mildly better than I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall asleep and I don’t want to find out. It wasn’t a very clever lie judging by the knowing look Kibum gave him through the webcam, but Kibum didn’t call him out on it. Instead, they kept talking while the sun steadily rose outside Jonghyun’s small window.
***
Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to move out of this, their, dorm room. He wasn’t sure he wanted to part with all the memories they had made here just yet, only to move into another bland dorm room where he would feel truly alone. And yet, some days, Jonghyun learned that those memories could sting, leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mind when he remembered that Kibum was so far away, that he couldn’t sneak up behind him and whisper remember when’s to his ear.
He needed to find a new roommate if he wanted to keep the room, but he didn’t want to disturb Onew or Minho since both of them would still be sharing the room next door. Onew was going onto his second year of his Master’s program while Minho was beginning his first physiotherapy internship at the school’s clinic and wanted to take a few extra classes. It all fell into place however when one day Minho suggested he ask Taemin.
“He’ll be a laid-back roommate,” Minho praised, even though Jonghyun needed no further convincing-rooming with a complete stranger wasn’t exactly ideal and he was out of options. “He probably won’t even be around that much.” Jonghyun nodded at this; Taemin tended to disappear a lot.
“I’ll ask him,” Jonghyun agreed, pulling out his phone to text him his proposition. A simple sure was his answer a few minutes later, and Jonghyun breathed a sigh of relief.
“You didn’t want to move out of there, did you,” Minho stated, observing Jonghyun from across the small table they were seated at, in that weirdly intuitive way of his.
Jonghyun shook his head from side to side but didn’t say more, instead taking a sip of his coffee.
“Well,” Minho continued, “at least it’ll be quieter now.”
Jonghyun snorted into his cup; he considered staying silent but the opportunity was too good to resist. “You know,” he started, fighting back a grin, “I have these awesome external speakers for my laptop.”
It took a second, but Minho eventually understood what Jonghyun was getting at. “That’s… kinky.”
“He’ll be gone for months-our options are kind of limited,” Jonghyun remarked bluntly.
Minho made a face. “I get that,” he admitted, albeit uncomfortably, “I meant the, uh, whole HQ sound experience of it.”
“Oh.” Jonghyun would have laughed if he hadn’t already thought of using his speakers for that very purpose.
“So,” Minho uttered in a rush, apparently eager to move onto another topic, “how’s Kibum’s internship going? He started two days ago, no?”
“Yeah,” and a small smile came to Jonghyun’s lips when he thought of how Kibum had kept him on the phone at ungodly hours of the morning to tell him all about his second day on the job, “he says it’s a bit of a shock to work and talk in English all the time, but he’ll be fine. There’s another student from Japan interning there, too. Kibum said she seemed a bit reserved with him, but nice enough. I think he forgets how intimidating he can be sometimes.”
“You must be pretty happy she’s a girl,” Minho interrupted, teasing grin in place.
“Shut up.”
“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Jonghyun.”
“Will you shut the fuck up?”
Minho chuckled but thankfully obeyed, leaving Jonghyun to brood into his cup of coffee.
***
Jonghyun lay on the bed, staring at the white ceiling. The sunrise was casting a warm orange light throughout the room, something he had become intimately familiar with over the past week and a half. He had shut off his computer over an hour ago after having chatted with Kibum and sleep still eluded him. He hadn’t managed a good night’s sleep since the day before Kibum left; he now dreaded crawling into bed, nervously waiting for sleep to come. Jonghyun knew it was pathetic-the thought crossed his mind over and over again as he tossed and turned in a bed that seemed entirely too big now-but he couldn’t help it. In turn, that thought bred doubt and anxiety, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up once the new school year started. Still, he considered staying up to wait on Kibum to call a good excuse to forgo sleep, but Kibum caught onto him faster than he would have hoped.
“We’ll have to find another time to talk once school starts again,” Kibum said after having rambled on about his coworkers. “This eight hour difference is really tricky.”
Jonghyun nodded; it sucked. It meant Kibum would be at work while Jonghyun was home from classes, and Kibum would probably be going to bed around the time Jonghyun woke up. Assuming he ever fell asleep, that is.
“I start later on Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Jonghyun suggested, pulling up his schedule for the semester, “so we could talk on those mornings. Well, mornings for me, nights for you.”
Kibum looked a little unsure, pulling the stuffed puppy to his chest as he shifted onto his side, laptop in front of him on the bed. He was wearing his wire-framed glasses and one of Jonghyun’s missing hoodies, too. Jonghyun had spent a few long minutes looking for it over the past weeks, so he hadn’t been exactly surprised to see it on Kibum but the image had still made him smile. “It would have to be very early in the morning for you, though,” Kibum mused.
“I can do that,” Jonghyun agreed lightly. A part of him reasoned that if he wasn’t going to be getting a lot of sleep, he might as well use up that time. Jonghyun apparently wasn’t as subtle as he hoped because Kibum’s expression darkened enough for Jonghyun to notice despite the slightly grainy video.
“You look tired,” he spoke softly, looking concerned.
Jonghyun sighed; he had known Kibum would mention it eventually, and he didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to worry Kibum either. “Yeah, it’s just…” he began, shrugging as though to brush it off, “sleep’s a bit slow to come lately.”
To his surprise, Kibum muttered a small, “I know.”
“Are you sleeping okay?” Jonghyun asked at once, frowning. Sure, Kibum sometimes seemed a little more subdued than usual when they talked, but he seemed excited and enthusiastic enough whenever he recounted his day.
“It was hard for the first week or so,” Kibum told him, nudging his glasses back up his nose, “but by then I was so tired that I kind of just… settled. It’s been a bit easier since.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Jonghyun spoke honestly. He was becoming all too familiar with the side effects of insomnia and didn’t wish them on anyone. “But I’ll be fine.”
Kibum didn’t seem convinced as he looked Jonghyun over, concern still swimming in his eyes, but he didn’t press on. Instead, he asked about Minho and Onew and Jonghyun welcomed the distraction. That morning, before signing off, Kibum mumbled a soft “I really miss you, I love you,” into the neck of his-Jonghyun’s-hoodie and, really, how was Jonghyun supposed to find sleep after that?
***
It happened for the first time the following weekend, and Jonghyun hadn’t expected it to be so awkward.
He video-called Kibum as soon as he saw the other sign in, only to be met with the sight of Kibum leaning back against the headboard of his bed in nothing but tight, slightly see-through, black briefs.
Instead of gawking appreciatively at the screen like he should have, Jonghyun sort of… yelped.
“Jesus, Kibum, I could’ve had somebody with me!” he blurted out, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks.
Kibum looked unimpressed. “That’s why I kept my boxers on,” he said simply. “Now get naked with me.”
Jonghyun looked on, frozen still, as Kibum slipped off the underwear before reclining onto his pillows, legs spread. Kibum had been lucky enough to get a double bed, big enough not to jostle his laptop as he moved around. Jonghyun suddenly appreciated that even more now that Kibum’s lithe form was draped all over it. His dyed-brown hair was splayed messily across his forehead, his fleshy thighs parted invitingly and Jonghyun would have given anything to crawl through the screen and burry his head between them. Kibum was looking straight into the camera, eyes dark and promising and Jonghyun’s heart thudded in his chest; he was truly beautiful.
“Jonghyun,” Kibum called out tersely. “Shirt, pants, everything-off.”
“Okay, okay,” he mumbled in return, stripping out of his shirt. He was unbuttoning his fly when he noticed Kibum was already hard but hadn’t touched himself yet.
“Push your chair back,” Kibum instructed in the same slightly commanding tone, “I want to see you.”
Jonghyun did, adjusting his screen a bit, all the while wondering why his heart was beating so damn hard. This was Kibum, and yet there was something about being separated by a screen that made Jonghyun highly self-conscious, all too self-aware. And yet Kibum looked very much at ease, spread out as he was in front of his laptop.
Jonghyun squirmed on his desk chair and almost slid off the edge when he removed his pants and underwear, wondering just how less sexy he could get while mentally pitying Kibum, who had to watch this. Jonghyun felt his ego deflate even more when Kibum chuckled at his clumsiness.
“Just relax,” Kibum advised, visibly amused. He was now stroking himself slowly, eyes trained to his webcam.
Jonghyun focused of the steady movement of his hand before letting his eyes wander up Kibum’s pale, naked chest, stopping finally on his plump lips. Kibum parted them almost obscenely in a loud sigh, and Jonghyun felt his own dick twitch at the sight, warmth pooling between his legs.
“You know, the point was for you to j-jerk off, too,” Kibum reminded him, stuttering mid-sentence when his thumb reached out to swipe at the tip of his dick.
Jonghyun slowly reached down to grip himself, the flesh warm beneath his palm. The position was slightly uncomfortable, the back of the chair entirely too straight, but Jonghyun tried not to let that show through.
“Come on, get yourself hard.”
Jonghyun tentatively matched Kibum’s pace, wondering if jacking off in front of a computer with your boyfriend watching was always supposed to feel this awkward.
“Talk to me, Jjong.” The feeling wasn’t mutual, apparently.
Of course, Jonghyun blanked out then; he was having a hard time coming up with something to say that didn’t sound remotely embarrassing. But Kibum was waiting, hand trailing to tease his inner thigh, so Jonghyun settled on a truth. “Y-you look so gorgeous.”
Kibum had the nerve to giggle, hand returning to give his dick a few more tugs. “Not bad, but you’ll get used to it,” Kibum assured him as he shifted on the mattress, “I have an idea.”
He turned around on the bed, pulling his knees underneath him and raising himself on all fours. Jonghyun let out a moan, grip tightening around himself when Kibum unashamedly titled his ass up towards the camera.
Kibum let out a small sound himself, his voice muted now that he had turned away. “It’s been too long,” he said breathlessly, “I want to hear you.”
Jonghyun whimpered out a feeble “Yeah,” when Kibum spread his legs further, reaching between them to grip his cock again. It was a bit easier after that to forget about being self-conscious, to let moans and groans slip from his lips without holding them back. He focused on the sight of Kibum bent over his sheets, pleasuring himself, and suddenly it was like he couldn’t come soon enough. Kibum was slower, more deliberate in his movements, but a few minutes into it he seemed to give in, resting his fist against the mattress to roll his hips into it. Jonghyun moaned his praise, eyeing the curve of his back and ass as he came, spilling onto his chest, unable to tear his eyes away. Kibum visibly shuddered at the sound, growing more impatient and it took him another minute to finish, rolling over onto his back with a lazy grin afterwards.
“Well,” he said, tone conversational despite the both of them being out of breath and covered in cum, “that was a first.”
Jonghyun couldn’t help but chuckle at it all, Kibum joining in shortly.
“Sorry,” Jonghyun amended quietly. It may not have been the kind of sex he had become used to with Kibum, but he had to admit it still felt pretty good.
“You were fine,” Kibum replied quickly, sounding honest enough to Jonghyun’s ears, “just a bit quiet.”
“I meant it, though,” Jonghyun told him, “you really do look gorgeous.”
“Thanks, Jjong,” Kibum spoke with a small, soft smile, “I love you.”
Jonghyun smiled back, eyes wandering down Kibum’s chest. “You know, if I was there right now I would lick you clean.”
Kibum groaned, rolling onto his side and pulling his laptop closer. “Of course now you decide to talk.”
Jonghyun chuckled again, pulling himself closer to his desk and readjusting his screen as well. “I love you, too.”
***
Jonghyun spent the remainder of his break doing much the same; in between talking to Kibum (and jerking off with Kibum) and lying awake in bed, he also spent a lot of time with Minho who seemed keen on not letting him wallow in his loneliness. He’d also been writing more than usual; lyrics came easily these days, granted they weren’t particularly uplifting but Jonghyun took whatever he could get. Taemin eventually moved in, and Jonghyun and Minho helped him move his rather meager belongings into the dorm. Rooming with Taemin turned out to be not so different from rooming with a ghost: Jonghyun didn’t see him much but his things moved around once in a while, evidence that Taemin had been there. Jonghyun suspected he had a girlfriend (or boyfriend?) who was more than happy to welcome him into their bed at night, although Taemin always remained very vague about it. Even Minho was baffled by his secrecy, which Jonghyun considered an accomplishment in itself.
The last Sunday before the beginning of semester, Jonghyun picked up some jjajangmyeon on the way back from the gym before settling at his desk and video-calling Kibum. It was Kibum who had suggested that they sit down and “eat together”. Minho had somehow found out about their plans and proclaimed it the saddest date in history, but Jonghyun thought it still beat eating alone while staring at what was now Taemin’s half of the room.
“What did you get?” Jonghyun asked, watching as Kibum unwrapped his lunch while sitting cross-legged on his bed.
“Indian,” Kibum replied, and Jonghyun paused at the fact that Kibum was taking out a fork to eat, even though it was technically appropriate, “the food here gets kind of… bland, after a while. I needed some spices.”
“You miss spicy food?”
“I’m pretty sure you would miss spicy food after only a day here,” Kibum said knowingly, biting back a small smile.
“Maybe I should go and find out,” Jonghyun said before shoving a huge bite of noodles into his mouth.
“Are you serious?” Kibum blurted out, boxed food forgotten on his lap as he stared at Jonghyun intently. “We never talked about you coming-I mean, the flights are pretty expensive…” he trailed off.
Jonghyun shrugged; now that he’d mentioned it, the idea intrigued him. “I can try to save up,” he suggested. “Or oh! Maybe sell another song.”
Kibum rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Show off,” he teased. “For what it’s worth, I would love to have you here, but I don’t want you going bankrupt over it. I know you’ve been saving up for a future apartment.”
“Our future apartment,” Jonghyun corrected, and Kibum broke into a soft smile at the mention.
“You are aware I’ll help pay for that,” Kibum said casually around a mouthful.
“The perks of marrying rich,” Jonghyun sing-songed with a wave of his chopsticks.
“We’re not married,” Kibum returned, point black, although he was smiling into his box.
“Minho says we act like it.”
There was a slight pause during which Kibum looked very interested in the piece of tandoori chicken he had speared onto his fork. “I guess we do,” he finally admitted, looking up to meet Jonghyun’s eyes with a small smile.
Later that night, Jonghyun thought back on their conversation and realized that, no, they may not have been married, but they had been talking about shared finances and apartments despite being separated by an entire continent and that was perhaps just as grand.
***
By the end of the first week of classes, Jonghyun’s sleeping habits had only barely improved. He felt perpetually tired, to the point where keeping from dozing off in the middle of class had become a challenge. To top it all off, he and Kibum hadn’t managed to coordinate their schedules to chat via webcam that week, leaving Jonghyun feeling at a loss by the end of it. Minho had dragged him into his and Onew’s room to play video games with them Friday night, and while Jonghyun was thankful for it, it was hard to explain to them how he still felt lonely, or mopey, even. At times, he managed to forget himself, and in those moments smiles came easily, but then he would inevitably remember that he couldn’t simply open his door to find Kibum on the other side, that he couldn’t hold him and kiss him and surround himself with the other’s touch to chase away all thoughts of his week.
By the second week, Jonghyun was convinced that time zones sucked; the only time during the week when neither of them was sleeping, working or in class turned out to be during Kibum’s lunch breaks. They still traded texts throughout the day (and part of the night in Jonghyun’s case), but that was only a small comfort compared to actually talking to and seeing each other. They always talked on weekends, and it was a bit ridiculous how giddy Jonghyun would get every Sunday, when he would open their video chat session to see Kibum sitting on his bed, wearing his white version of their couple shirts.
Kibum had quickly settled in at the company he interned at, easily making friends with his coworkers and often joining them after work for food and drinks. He even went shopping sometimes with the other Japanese intern, Ayano, who had eventually warmed up to him much like Jonghyun had predicted.
“Everybody just calls her Aya,” Kibum had told him, “except they all have British accents, so it’s kind of weird. And, uh, everybody started calling me Key, now.”
Jonghyun hadn’t known what to make of the nickname at first, but Kibum hadn’t seem bothered, and it was rather cute. Kibum also said he still hadn’t quite gotten used to functioning entirely in English, but that it was becoming easier and easier to speak it casually. It all came with practice, like any language.
That got Jonghyun thinking about how his own English skills paled in comparison. Sure, he had gone through the mandatory classes, had even taken one in university but he had never practiced speaking it enough for it to be useful.
More than that, it had Jonghyun thinking of a possibility he had never seriously considered until now. Kibum loved England; he had wanted to go long before he had found that internship, and now that he was finally there he was obviously enjoying it. Kibum often commented on how everything was so different there, but Jonghyun was certain that with time things would stop seeming unfamiliar to him. They would become just another reality, and the gist of it all was that Kibum may want to stay longer once his internship was over, especially if he was offered a job. And if there was one thing Jonghyun had learned over the past few weeks, it was that he didn’t want to be apart from Kibum for much longer than he had to.
After a quick consultation online for recommendations, Jonghyun went to the campus bookstore the following day, heading straight for the Languages section. He browsed for the title he had scribbled down the night before and purchased the grammar practice book without another thought.
He left the book in his desk drawer, pulling it out in his free time or in between projects to read and annotate it. He went through the first few chapters quickly, but after that every chapter became more and more complex and Jonghyun could easily lose himself for an hour or two, pouring into the book.
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