Tidal Pools (Oneshot)
Pairing: merman!Jonghyun / human!Key
Rating: R
Genre: Fantasy, some Angst, Romance
Word count: 7800
Summary: He spent one month by the sea every year, one month to forget himself in the embrace of another reality.
Note: mentions of the Haenyeo
A/N: Jonghyun being a sexy merman is very much the only point of this fic. My friend didn’t laugh at me when I told her about this idea, so I took it as a sign to go ahead. Apologies in advance for the abrupt ending. Also, discontinuous timeline alert!
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His feet dangled over the edge of the rocky cliff, a good three meters above the water. He surveyed the horizon carefully, an endless murky blue that he had once feared. That most people still did fear. Now he would come here every chance he had.
The waves weren’t big, but Kibum knew from experience that they probably wouldn’t get much bigger. He threw his board into the water and jumped in after it, expertly avoiding the jagged, sharp rocks that he knew like the back of his hand. He hefted himself up onto it before tying it to his ankle and began to paddle out like he knew where he was going.
It wasn’t long before the other caught up to him, sprouting out of the water right in front of him. It would have scared the living daylights out of Kibum - had, in the past - if he weren’t so used to it. He merely stopped paddling, crossing his arms under his chin as he lay flat on his surfboard.
“Didn’t expect you to come in this tide,” he said in lieu of a proper greeting.
Jonghyun shrugged, naked shoulders rising out of the water.
“You swam out,” was all he got as an answer.
Kibum studied him seriously for a few seconds before breaking into a large grin.
“You scratched your fin around here last time and you whined about it for a week,” Kibum took pleasure in reminding him.
Jonghyun rolled his eyes but smiled back, lips tilted mischievously. “I live dangerously,” he said, and Kibum’s smile faltered a bit at that because he wasn’t lying.
***
Kibum had always loved the water. It wasn’t something he could really explain, it was just something he plain liked. It had started with swimming lessons back when he was in elementary school, had morphed into water skiing when he discovered his middle school had a team and had finally ended with him here, surfboard under his arm as he contemplated the best way to climb down the rocks and get into the sea.
The rocks were slippery; it was a bit risky, especially considering he was far from the nicer, more crowded beach. Still, the waves weren’t very big and Kibum wasn’t exactly looking for a thrill. He just wanted a place where he could let his mind go blank and he had found it in this little cove, on an island he visited as part of his yearly trip to see his grandmother.
The ocean was so unlike the pools, rivers and marinas he had been to; it gave him chills that weren’t entirely due to the cold water but it also intrigued him. Even as a toddler, he remembered standing on the beach, toes digging into the sand and staring out into the water whenever his grandmother took him for walks. Once he was old enough he came without her, foolishly thinking he was alone when no other humans were in sight.
He still remembered the first time he saw him, some years ago. He was floating on his board, just how he spent most of his days, when he spotted a flash of tan skin in the distance. He had thought how brave it was of them to forgo a wetsuit on this cloudy day, and then how strange it was when they didn’t come back up for air. Kibum had heard his fair share of stories about the divers that still inhabited the island - sirens, some called them - but he also knew how most of the locals didn’t even know how to swim.
One, two minutes passed and he began to worry. He dove and forced his eyes open despite the sting, only to yell, precious air bubbling out of his mouth as he then choked. The man in the water beneath him was close, too close, looking up at him with big round eyes and Kibum didn’t think twice before shooting upwards and onto his board. He held onto it for dear life, spluttering as he hacked out salt and water. He was more than wary when the man surfaced some distance away, with only his head poking ominously out of the water. He kicked helplessly in an attempt to get away yet all he could think of was how his grandmother had warned him not to let himself drift too far. He’d always thought she had meant to warn him about sharks and jellyfish, but now he wasn’t so sure.
When he stopped coughing long enough to look around, he noticed the man was gone. He climbed onto his board, frantically peering down into the water only to catch a glimpse of fiery red streaking right beneath him. The man emerged on his other side and it became pretty obvious then that this was no man, nor boy.
Jonghyun’s first words to him were, “You swim well, for a human.”
It didn’t take long for Jonghyun to admit that he had been watching Kibum, equally intrigued by the board he swam with than by what kind of human was willing to come out so far into the ocean alone. Even the island’s renowned divers were smart enough - Jonghyun’s words, again - to head out in groups.
Kibum hadn’t replied anything, couldn’t have even if he wanted to because he was still busy processing the fact that the man-like creature in front of him was sporting a vibrant red tail instead of two legs, but was still somehow talking to him with a sheepish grin that was as apologetic as it was normal.
As it turned out, Kibum was too shocked to speak for the better part of an hour, but Jonghyun seemed happy to fill in the blanks in between bouts of blatant staring. He was rather fond of asking questions even if Kibum was in no state to answer them, and he’d just blurted out something about being told to stay away from the coast when he accidentally admitted that he preferred the sound of his voice above instead of underwater. Suddenly, Jonghyun started to make a little more sense.
***
He was sitting on the lowest rock, water soaking through his shorts as a familiar head of dark hair appeared by his side. Jonghyun rested his elbows on the rock, tail wagging slowly behind him to keep himself afloat.
“What is it this time?”
For a merman who was meant to spend a lifetime in salt water, Kibum had come to learn that Jonghyun had a surprisingly eager sweet tooth.
“Gummy bears,” Kibum informed him with an indulgent smile. He tossed the small bag and Jonghyun scrambled to catch it but it still ended up falling in the water with a splash. Kibum laughed as Jonghyun dove to catch it, only to shake his wet hair all over Kibum’s dry t-shirt when he came back.
Jonghyun tore the package open and dug out a little green bear, eyeing it intently.
“At least these won’t get soggy in water, like the pepero sticks,” Kibum told him, amused. Jonghyun sniffed at the candy before shoving it in his mouth, eyes going wide as he chewed. He gave an appreciative hum before guzzling four more and rolling onto his back next to Kibum, tail propped up lazily on another rock.
“I like these,” he mumbled through a mouthful and Kibum chuckled again.
“Everybody likes these.” Jonghyun made another thoughtful sound and tipped the bag into his mouth. “Leave some for me!” Kibum chided him, tugging on a corner of the package. Jonghyun merely shook his head, cheeks comically round and stuffed with candy.
“No,” he said childishly, but Kibum was quicker; he snatched the bag out of his hand and stole a few before letting the now half-empty bag flop down onto Jonghyun’s chest. He then threw one of the bears at Jonghyun for good measure, catching the side of his face. It bounced back and landed in the folds of Kibum’s shorts, but Jonghyun ate it anyway.
“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question - they had been through this enough times already.
Kibum sighed, poking at the cherry red gummy in his palm. “How do you know?”
Jonghyun swallowed another mouthful before answering. “Well,” he started, but with a playful glint to his eyes, “you’ve been taming me with candy. More so than usual.” Kibum chortled at that, but it was without humour. Jonghyun’s eyes grew darker, more serious as he continued, “You’ve been rather quiet lately.”
Kibum didn’t know how he felt about leaving. His life wasn’t here; he belonged in Daegu with his friends. He belonged in a classroom, on land with the rest of his kind. Whenever he left home to come here, to this shore that seemed to border the realms of reality and fantasy, it always felt like he was putting his life on hold for the month or so he stayed here. It was like hitting the pause button, only to press play once he was back with his mother and father in their small apartment. This wasn’t his life.
And yet he never felt more at peace than when he stayed up past sunset with Jonghyun by his side, leaning back onto damp sand that sooner or later left him frozen to the bone. It was slightly mind-boggling.
“I leave tomorrow,” he said blandly. He felt more than he saw Jonghyun go still beside him, tail going stiff as he tensed up.
“Okay,” Jonghyun spoke after a while, his tone carefully neutral. “Okay. I’ll follow your ferry.”
It unnerved Kibum whenever Jonghyun followed the boat that would bring him back to the continent. There was something deeply unsettling about being watched without being able to see him, about knowing that their farewell wasn’t face to face. Then again, it had all started in a similar way, but that didn’t mean Kibum wanted it to end like this, not when he never knew if this farewell would be the last.
“You’ll come find me again next year, right?” Kibum still asked in a small voice.
Jonghyun looked at him, something akin to pity and remorse in his dark brown eyes. “You know I can’t promise that.”
“Yeah.” He really did know, but he still hoped. “Be safe, okay?”
Kibum felt Jonghyun touch his side, his hand lingering for a long moment before going back to cradling the bag of gummy bears. “You too.”
***
Kibum had spent much of those first weeks in Jonghyun’s presence what seemed like eons ago observing him. It took him less than a day to figure out he needed air to breathe but could hold his breath for a freakishly long time, took him five days to realize Jonghyun had a voice that could put many singers’ to shame and six more to think it wasn’t simple curiosity that kept him coming back at every sunrise.
It wasn’t that Jonghyun didn’t speak of merfolk, because he did, but rather that he didn’t speak of his pod, or shoal - Kibum wasn’t sure how to call it. He was lonely. Kibum couldn’t exactly empathize, not when he came to his grandmother’s every year expecting and seeking solitude.
Yet Jonghyun proved to be good company and, most importantly, an even greater escape from reality than was floating on his board and riding the occasional wave. More than anything, that was what this little yearly trip had come to mean to Kibum, and Jonghyun fit right in.
From the waist up, Jonghyun was perfectly normal. He was rather broad-shouldered, with tan skin that never wrinkled no matter how much time he spent submerged. He had an easy smile and the most expressive eyes Kibum had ever seen - they probably made him into the worst liar, which would explain why Jonghyun was so startlingly honest. He wore a small seashell as a necklace and yet, for all that he seemed normal, his small, thin waist gave way to a bright red tail that was anything but.
It was shiny, even after hours spent lounging in the sunlight on dry land, and the fin at the end was wide, streaked with the faintest hint of a darker burgundy. Kibum had spent many days ogling it from afar, unable to keep his gaze from it at times, before he gathered up the courage to take a closer look.
They were sitting on the beach, waves licking at their feet and then the seat of Kibum’s pants as the tide grew. There were rarely any people who wandered this side of the rocky cliff and it was late enough that Kibum had no worry of them being seen. Jonghyun had gone quiet - for once - and Kibum caught himself staring again at the tail stretched out beside him. It looked smooth, but somehow thick-skinned, a bit like a dolphin’s.
“Do you want to touch it?”
Kibum lifted his eyes to find Jonghyun looking at him, leaning back onto his outstretched arms. A hint of a smile played on his lips, as though eager or amused. Kibum didn’t have time to answer before Jonghyun reached out to grasp his wrist and bring his hand to what should have been his lap.
Kibum had been right; the skin was soft to the touch but tougher than human skin. He let his fingers glide over to the side, slowly, with barely enough pressure to feel. He looked so pale next to the deep scarlet, and upon closer inspection he realized that the colour wasn’t exactly uniform but with slightly different pigments in places, much like his own skin. Jonghyun simply watched him, lips twitching as though he was trying not to smile, as Kibum took in his fill.
It was the strangest thing to feel muscles tighten and loosen underneath Jonghyun’s thick skin, muscles that gave strength to a long tail and so unlike anything in the human body. Jonghyun flicked his fin and Kibum could feel the power of it ripple beneath his palm. He removed his hand when he began to feel self-conscious, yet Jonghyun was ever so curious.
He ran a thumb down the side of Kibum’s calf, lingering near his ankle before wrapping his fingers around it.
“You’re surprisingly smooth,” Jonghyun spoke up. “I thought humans were supposed to be hairy.”
Kibum couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past his lips, “I suppose we are, but I shave. It’s more comfortable in a wetsuit,” he explained.
“Those black suits you wear in the water?” Jonghyun asked, letting go of his ankle to instead thumb at his sandal.
“Yeah,” Kibum answered, “they keep us warm.”
Jonghyun frowned, fingers going still for a moment. “But humans are warm-blooded animals,” he said plainly, features twisting in confusion as he looked at Kibum.
“We still need warmth to survive,” Kibum went on hesitantly, “don’t you?”
Jonghyun seemed to study him quietly before answering, “We can tolerate colder waters.” His tone had lowered, taking on a more serious and somehow solemn expression. He prodded Kibum with two fingers where his shorts had ridden up on his thigh, pressing the pads of his colder fingers carefully against his skin. “Our skin temperature lowers to help accommodate. We still favour warmer seas, however.”
Kibum nodded, wondering why, then, Jonghyun was here where the water wasn’t particularly warm even on a good day. Yet, there was something about Jonghyun’s peculiar expression that kept him from asking.
***
“Are you crying?”
“No,” Jonghyun replied vehemently, twisting himself on the rock so that Kibum couldn’t see his face and causing something to fall from his lap. “I just got salt in my eye.”
“Ha ha,” Kibum humoured him, “very funny. Seriously, are you crying?”
“Yes, okay!” Jonghyun spat, turning around to reveal red, puffy eyes. He picked up the fallen object and waved it at Kibum rather angrily. “It’s that stupid book you gave me!”
Kibum approached him slowly, biting his lips in an attempt not to break into a smile. “You cried because of The Little Mermaid?”
“But it’s so sad!” Jonghyun lamented, voice cracking on the last syllables. He looked slightly hysterical. “She just loves him, unconditionally, and she has to suffer and die because of it!” He threw the book at Kibum but ended up missing pitifully, the book splashing into the water by his side.
Kibum stared blankly at the sinking book for a moment, processing, before finally realizing. “Oh god,” he muttered, slapping a hand to his face. “I gave you the wrong version.”
Jonghyun sniffled loudly, hoisting himself off the rock with his arms and mumbling something about tears being indistinguishable underwater before slipping into the ocean. Kibum searched for the missing book - a library loan, actually - but soon figured it was in vain, so he treaded back home.
When he returned an hour later with a bag of licorice, the dripping book was propped up on a rock under the sunlight and Jonghyun was sitting with his back to it. He turned around, though, upon hearing the tell-tale crackle of plastic wrappings and all was forgiven by the time the bag was empty.
***
The fervour with which he hoped to find Jonghyun waiting for him that second summer surprised Kibum. Of course, Jonghyun had been at the back of his mind all year but he wasn’t prepared for this feeling, this energy that had him running all the way to the beach even though he was weary with travel. He stumbled to a stop as he neared the sand, chucking off his shoes to then dash into the water, moving until his shorts were soaked to mid-thigh. He stopped as the water made it hard to run further, panting while he stood surveying the horizon. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, partly due to his sprinting but also to the anticipation, the hope of catching a glimpse of bright crimson amongst the waves. The longer he stood, the stronger this feeling grew, mixed in with a desperation Kibum never expected.
And then, he released a high-pitched yell as cool water splashed all over his side, effectively drenching most of his shirt. Before the shock of it could sink in, Jonghyun burst out of the water laughing. His laughter turned into a strange gurgling, however, when Kibum tackled him into the water. Jonghyun, more agile, twisted himself free of his grasp and resumed laughing a safer distance away, leaving Kibum crouched in the water, now drenched head to toe but with a wide, dimpled smile on his face.
Kibum’s family knew of his “friend” Jonghyun and it worked in everyone’s favour that Kibum omitted to tell them he had a vibrant red tail with a fin instead of two legs. His family was relieved that he had someone to look after him at the beach, while Kibum was simply relieved that Jonghyun was a continuing part of his little yearly escapes.
Jonghyun was curious about his family and when Kibum told him that they knew about him, sort of, Jonghyun seemed deeply touched by their blind acceptance even if they didn’t know the whole truth. His reaction sparked questions and although Jonghyun was always honest, it became apparent to Kibum that he avoided discussing some subjects.
He loved to talk about his older sister, but somehow managed to remain slightly vague about her, only offering anecdotes. Kibum could understand why, so he listened carefully, mindful not to interrupt because he was under the impression Jonghyun wouldn’t willingly be sharing this again.
“My sister used to tell me all about her adventures in your language, as practice. I learned fast, and I’ll never forget some of her stories. She followed humans around, or spied on them if you prefer. She came to this island often, actually. She would watch the female divers as they worked and listen to them as they gathered on the beach afterwards to talk. She would have loved nothing more than to speak to one of them, but she knew better.”
Kibum granted him a sad smile while Jonghyun did his best to remain neutral, although Kibum could see the strain behind it. He scooted closer in the sand and embraced Jonghyun gently. It was amazing, how important it made him feel, when Jonghyun’s arms wound around his body to hug him back.
***
It was on a cloudless, hot summer day that made the surface of the ocean pleasurably lukewarm that Kibum climbed on the rocky cliff to the sound of Jonghyun humming quietly to himself and got an idea. An idea that was as simple as it was ridiculous, but Kibum was adamant to let Jonghyun have this.
“Do you know what camping is?” he asked as soon as he reached the rock Jonghyun was resting on, tail curled over the edge, startling him a bit.
He furrowed his brow in thought, but eventually shook his head as Kibum took a seat by his side, feet dangling alongside Jonghyun’s long, thick tail.
“It’s this thing humans do; you sleep outside, in a tent and in these sort of padded bags, and you build a fire to heat your food.”
Jonghyun scrunched his nose, looking perplexed by the very idea. “But why?”
“For fun,” Kibum answered. Jonghyun looked even more confused, one of his eyebrows arching up.
“Why would you do that when you have houses?”
Kibum shrugged, giving up on trying to explain its appeal. “We could camp out on the beach tonight. We’ll hide your tail and you could sing as loud as you want,” Kibum told him excitedly.
“Really?” Jonghyun asked, round-eyed, and Kibum grinned harder. Jonghyun reciprocated, tail thumping on the rock below them as he sort of bounced up and down, his body wriggling rather awkwardly in a way that had Kibum laughing.
Kibum didn’t own a tent, but he did have a sleeping bag; he rolled it up and tucked it under his arm along with a few other essential items and snuck out onto the beach. The sun had almost entirely disappeared behind the seemingly endless sea - casting all manners of purples and oranges into the sky - and even the main beach was deserted. Jonghyun was waiting for him in the sand, tail only partly hidden by the waves that would drive up the shore and cover his lap. It looked a darker shade of red in the dimming sunlight, but was still glimmering as it always did. Kibum actually paused in his footsteps when Jonghyun threw him a look over his shoulder, dark, damp hair falling messily into his eyes, because the picture he painted at that moment was a lot to take in. He looked even tanner in this light, which also casted shadows along the dips and curves of his body and Kibum realized at once how much he had filled out over the years. Jonghyun cocked his head to the side when Kibum stayed put, prompting him to shake himself out of it and hurry to his side.
He unrolled his sleeping bag a little higher on the beach, just enough to keep them dry considering the tide was at its highest anyway. Jonghyun wormed his way up through the sand, complaining as he always did when he had to crawl, bemoaning his lack of skills of dry land. He said it made him feel like he was carrying three times his weight.
“It’s all that candy in your stomach,” Kibum taunted him before tossing him a bag of marshmallows.
They ran into a bit of a problem when they discovered Jonghyun’s tail fin to be too wide to fit into the sleeping bag. They were both left scratching their heads for a moment until Jonghyun suggested they lay down half in the water. Kibum firmly opposed that idea, not wanting to turn into a wrinkled prune and freeze midway through the night, so he suggested burying the tip of Jonghyun’s tail in the sand instead. After much grumbling on Jonghyun’s part, he agreed but didn’t help Kibum dig up a hole, content with laying back and stuffing as many marshmallows as he could into his mouth - which was a lot - while Kibum patted damp sand over his fin.
Kibum then lay down onto the opened sleeping bag next to him, wrapping it around them to cover the rest of them. Jonghyun’s body was neither hot nor cold in this weather, and Kibum had seen him often enough, been close to him enough that their proximity didn’t make him uncomfortable. On the contrary, being wrapped up beside him enthralled him in a way that made him suddenly giddy - like he couldn’t stop laughing regardless of what Jonghyun had done or said.
It made it very difficult to cram marshmallows into his mouth as he tried to beat Jonghyun’s record, obviously failing and ending up a slobbering mess of saliva, gooey marshmallows and tears of laughter.
It took them forever to swallow them all, so much so that the sun had completely sunk below the horizon by the time they could articulate again. But Kibum had planned ahead, flicking on his flashlight and handing a large, flat book to Jonghyun; an illustrated version of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Jonghyun took it warily, eyeing the cover suspiciously but Kibum urged him on and soon he was flipping pages - first with a frown and then with a smile.
“No way,” Kibum said, pointing the flashlight to Jonghyun’s face for a better look, “you’re tearing up again. Why are you tearing up? This is the happy version!”
“It’s just,” Jonghyun spoke with a sniffle, voice slightly strained, “she’s so happy.”
Kibum rolled his eyes and gave a snort that dissolved into a chuckle when Jonghyun looked at him with big, helpless round eyes.
Kibum set the book aside and turned off the light, leaving nothing but the glow of the moon to bathe everything in a bluish tone. He sunk down deeper into the sleeping bag, pulling it tighter around them before resting his head just below Jonghyun’s chin and closing his eyes.
“Now you can sing,” he mumbled.
Jonghyun placed a hand on his back, and sang for a long time.
Early that morning, when the sun was just peeking out and the air was still cold, Kibum woke up wondering why his bed was so hard and why his pillow had vanished. He opened his eyes to the sight of Jonghyun propped up on his elbow beside him, watching him with half-opened eyes. His lips and cheeks were puffy with sleep, and Kibum could do nothing, absolutely nothing to stop his heart from lurching in his chest when Jonghyun leaned down to kiss him. Just as quickly, he drew back with a small smile and slithered out of the sleeping bag before Kibum could catch up, slipping back into the sea without a word.
***
Within a few weeks of knowing Jonghyun, Kibum realized that history textbooks omitted much of the truth. Whether it was because people who knew of merfolk’s existence kept quiet or because younger people brushed them off as mere folk tales, he didn’t know.
Jonghyun had told him all about this island when Kibum had casually mentioned the few female divers that still worked along these coasts. Sirens, some used to call them. Jonghyun had looked sheepish as he’d uttered that.
“That’s because there actually used to be sirens,” Jonghyun said, and Kibum’s mouth fell open.
“You mean they used to be mermaids?” he asked, bewildered by the thought.
“No,” Jonghyun was quick to correct, shaking his head. “I meant that we used to trade with humans on this island, many, many years back.”
Kibum had to admit it made sense considering the rich culture that seemed to surround all matters of the sea around here. This raised many questions, but Jonghyun was faster.
“We would hunt for them, provide them with food from the sea. In return, you gave us things we didn’t have; metals, mirrors, jewels. It was a fair trade, if you ask me. Metal tools are much better than any sharpened rock.
“But our peoples kept separate for the most part, didn’t usually interact more than what was needed. Trust didn’t run deep, and that proved true when one of ours died at your people’s hands. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this story as a child to warn me from ever nearing humans.”
Kibum’s eyes widened at the revelation, beginning to understand just how much it meant for Jonghyun to be sitting beside him, conversing casually as he was now. It must have been simply unimaginable to Jonghyun’s kind. Kibum couldn’t say he was sure it was worth the trouble and danger it must have put him in.
“We were betrayed,” Jonghyun went on, more serious than Kibum had ever seen him before. “We stopped the trade, made do with what we had. They say that your men were too busy at war, if not with their neighbours then with themselves, and so it was up to women to learn how to dive to feed their families. Some of us still speak your language, but it is slowly being forgotten.”
Jonghyun’s voice drifted away at that, eyes locked far ahead of him.
“Why do you speak it?” Kibum asked, Jonghyun’s last sentence replaying in his mind. “I mean, you’re young.”
“I was taught. My sister, she - she admired humans very much. She has shown me a lot,” was all that Jonghyun offered.
“Admired?” Kibum probed, struck by the way Jonghyun had spoken the word.
“Yes,” Jonghyun spoke curtly, uncharacteristically cold. And yet Kibum couldn’t leave it at that.
“What happened?”
“She died.” Jonghyun was still refusing to look at him as he lifted a hand to turn over the small shell that he wore around his neck. Only then did Kibum notice the encrusted gem - green like emerald. “This was hers. It was the colour of her tail.”
Jonghyun let the shell back fall to its usual place, right in the dip of his collarbone, emerald hidden against his skin. Kibum didn’t say anything for what felt like the longest time, not knowing what to say other than “It’s a beautiful colour”.
***
The waves were actually big that day, enough to make for acceptable surf. Kibum was so eager he decided to go without his wetsuit, thinking maybe he wouldn’t need it under the strong sun. It was nice to stand up on his board and drag his fingertips against the water.
It was almost midday when he noticed a spot of red perched at the edge of the rocky cliff. Smiling, he flattened himself on his board and paddled towards the rocks to climb them, dragging his board along. Jonghyun greeted him with a smirk, muscled arms crossed over his chest.
“It never ceases to amaze me that you manage to stand up on that thing with your two skinny legs,” he teased. Kibum meant to kick him in the side with said skinny legs but Jonghyun had obviously been anticipating it, reaching out suddenly to grip his ankle and arm, bringing him down and rolling on top of him.
Kibum’s protests weakened when Jonghyun looked down at him, still smirking but with a much softer gaze. Kibum didn’t protest at all when Jonghyun kissed him, but rather encouraged it with a hand in his damp locks and another to his waist, eagerly returning the salty kisses he had grown so addicted to.
***
There were days when Kibum worried incessantly. As the years went by, he fell into a pattern; he would worry more and more until the day of his departure from the island, after which that worry would stay with him for many months, sometimes pushed to the back of his mind but sometimes resurfacing without warning. Then he would go back to worrying frantically as he prepared to leave for his grandmother’s again, but that feeling would vanish entirely upon seeing Jonghyun swim up to him. He knew, as much as it worried him, as much as he didn’t want to believe it, that one day he would return and not be greeted by such a sight.
Jonghyun never promised; he couldn’t. Not because the sea wasn’t the safest place to be, but because he had his own kind to return to, those he probably left waiting every year. Kibum had the feeling they nested someplace far, far away from here. He didn’t blame them, and most times he had the hardest time understanding why Jonghyun had swam here in the first place, why he’d even given Kibum the light of day.
And yet other days, when the weight of things didn’t feel so heavy, when all he cared about was what kind of candy he’d buy next, he would joke around and tell Jonghyun he’d build a gigantic pool when he was older so that Jonghyun could stay however long he wanted. Those days, when he couldn’t care less about the way the dye in his hair was slowly turning green due to a precarious mixture of sunlight and salt - Jonghyun liked the colour, anyway - when on any other day it would have had him running to the salon, those days he smiled naively and let himself indulge in the thought of going on like this forever. It became his new escape.
“What do you tell them? When you leave to spend a month by the shore, what do you say?” The sky had been a blend of greys that day and the early morning dew had made him grit his teeth.
“I don’t say anything,” was Jonghyun’s simple answer. At first, Kibum hadn’t expected him to continue, but something about his expression that seemed to match the weather had him thinking twice. “A lot of young merfolk wander. We aren’t as tied to places as you humans. But we are tied to our kin. When a teenager takes off they are expected to return. If they do not, they are taken for dead. My sister, she - she was always fascinated by the human world. Of course, showing any interest in your race is taboo, unspeakable. But she wouldn’t hear it. She had been following a fishing ship for a few weeks when we found her. She was dead, cold, tangled up in a net. The worst part is we’ll never know what really happened.”
Kibum kept quiet, thoughtful, and it seemed fitting how even the waves had calmed that morning.
“What happens if your kin leave you? What are you tied to then?”
Jonghyun granted him a sad smile, shrugging slightly, and Kibum somehow understood his wordless answer.
***
“I like these,” Jonghyun spoke, leaning in close to poke a finger to Kibum’s naked shoulder. Kibum swatted his hand away as though it were a persistent bug. He went back to squeezing his t-shirt dry because Jonghyun had soaked it yet again; he’d been laughing so hard his tail was twitching, and it eventually flicked, sending an impressive amount of water Kibum’s way. He’d merely kept laughing when Kibum ended up looking like a drowned cat.
Jonghyun ignored him, poking him at the top of his shoulder blade this time. Kibum raised his shoulders to his neck, part ticklish and part self-conscious. He had a few freckles scattered over his shoulders and upper arms that were nearly invisible in the wintertime - he had never particularly liked the way the summer sun seemed to make them stand out even more. Now, however, he was beginning to rethink that.
“They’re just freckles,” Kibum replied, a bit forced. Jonghyun leaned in again, too close, like he had never grasped the concept of personal space, before reiterating, “I like them.”
And Kibum thought he understood, if only a little, because he was quite fond of some of the quirks and details on Jonghyun’s body, like the slight asymmetrical slant to his eyes and his own small freckle on his collarbone. Sometimes he’d catch himself staring at the curve of Jonghyun’s back, too, when the latter was resting on his stomach. If he was in a dreamy mood, he’d try to imagine him with legs but he could never quite get the image right in his mind.
He had realized long ago that Jonghyun was beautiful in a blatant way, but he there was also a subtle beauty to him that showed through his too-wide, toothy smiles and through his almost frighteningly intense gazes whenever he pinned Kibum down. His kisses could both leave him ablaze or leave him comforted and content. Jonghyun was a master of nuances; he always seemed to know which one Kibum was craving, and that sort of wordless attentiveness mixed in with light-hearted playfulness was perhaps the most endearingly beautiful thing of all. Because, all things considered, it would probably have been easier for him to wear a frown.
So, when Jonghyun turned to face him, hip pressing into the outside of his thigh, the soft lips and gentle kiss they laid on his didn’t surprise him. He couldn’t say the same about the quick nip at his bottom lip and ensuing chuckle, but Kibum had to admit he liked them just as much.
Jonghyun didn’t stop, then; he kept kissing him until Kibum was just this side of breathless, fingertips lost in Jonghyun’s mane of hair. When they pulled apart, it was with matching dazed smiles.
“Let’s go swim,” Jonghyun murmured, untangling his arms from around Kibum’s neck to slide his hands down his arms, thumbs gently kneading at his skin.
“Okay.”
Jonghyun maneuvered himself onto a lower rock before plunging into the water, Kibum following close behind alongside his trusty board. It was weathered down, colours made drab with use but he didn’t want to part from it. If he had been sentimental he could have said that it helped steer him in the right direction, so to speak, but he wasn’t so he settled for admitting that he liked it, plainly, and was for some reason drawn to the fact that it had been a second-hand purchase.
He tied it to his ankle and began to paddle, quickly losing track of Jonghyun ahead. For a split second, it was as if he had lost control of his thoughts and wondered without meaning to if he would come back. The thought stung in the most unpleasant way, leaving behind a dull burn that caught him off-guard.
But then he felt his board underneath him being propelled forward and clamped onto it with a screech, only barely managing to stay on. He didn’t have to look down to know that there was a red tail beating wildly behind him. Jonghyun always did tease him that he was slow in the water.
The shore was far away by the time his board slowed down, Jonghyun reappearing at the surface for air. He then let himself float on his back like it was the easiest thing to do, hands behind his head. He also liked to rest his head in the curve of Kibum’s back, but that day he simply let himself drift. His eyes would fall shut sometimes, and sometimes Kibum couldn’t resist sneaking over and leaning in to steal a kiss, in turn.
***
The second time, it was Jonghyun who suggested it. They were both a little older, a little wiser in some ways, and Kibum found himself nodding before he could even say yes.
He brought his sleeping bag, the same one, and waited until the tide was at its highest to lay it down. He gave Jonghyun a piece of the dark chocolate he had packed, purposefully not telling him that chocolate tended to melt and outright laughing when Jonghyun had to lick all over his fingers a while later. Jonghyun reciprocated by giving him a big, messy open-mouthed kiss that Kibum kept laughing into. If he had been paying attention to something other than Jonghyun’s mouth on his and the taste of his tongue, he would have noticed by the way Jonghyun’s fingers kept twisting in his shirt that the latter had something else in mind. Jonghyun coaxed him deeper into the kiss with practiced strokes of his tongue, earning a hum or two as Kibum gave absolutely no resistance.
As fast as it had started, Jonghyun drew back to slide his shirt up to his chest, going on to press wet kisses to his stomach. His lips had warmed by then and every time they brushed his skin Kibum felt an unfamiliar tension coil and knot within him.
He slipped his shirt off over his head only to see Jonghyun looking at him, hunched above him with something dark and heavy in his eyes. It was as if a switch had been flipped and, all at once, Kibum wanted it just as bad, nervousness be damned.
Jonghyun sank down onto him, fitting his tail between Kibum’s legs. When he kissed him again it was with a heat that he had never experienced before, pulling a small whimper from Kibum’s throat. Jonghyun bit down softly on his lower lip, hips beginning to roll slowly into his. Kibum’s head fell back at that, shivers running down his spine and making him tremble with the need to latch onto Jonghyun and spread his legs wider.
He clutched at Jonghyun’s back with a hand, the other threading into his hair out of habit and tugging slightly at the roots. Jonghyun smothered him once more before he could even get the chance to breathe, muffling his gasp as he kept rocking against him. It was like Jonghyun knew just how to undo him with his every touch, leaving Kibum grappling at his sides and back for a sense of control he had long lost.
He felt Jonghyun grow and harden out of his slit as he shifted to a faster, jerkier pace. Kibum’s back was chafing against the sand with how he was canting his hips upwards to meet him. He broke their kiss to bury his face into Jonghyun’s neck when the heat became too much, arms wound tight around Jonghyun’s body and fingers digging into skin as pleasure threatened to overwhelm him. He could feel Jonghyun’s warmth through his shorts, could feel the sea shell he wore sticking to his own chest and plush lips catching on the skin of his neck as they hung open, straining for air.
Kibum came with a choked moan, wrapped up under Jonghyun’s weight and around him in an impossible and yet perfect tangle. His eyes clenched shut with the force of it, muscles stiff, locked into place by the time it weaned off. He was still tense when Jonghyun went still above him, crushing him as he made no effort to hold himself, hips resuming a slow, lazy roll once Kibum felt wetness that wasn’t his own trickle down the front of his shorts.
Finally relaxing, he laid his head back and let his hands slip from Jonghyun’s waist, panting made difficult by the boneless merman atop him. Jonghyun began pressing fleeting kisses to his neck and jaw, sometimes licking at the sweat in between.
Kibum had sand in his hair and Jonghyun’s back was probably streaked with long, red welts. He was certain that Jonghyun’s hips and backside would have been showing bruises, too, if his skin there hadn’t been so thick. And yet, even if the sight of his own back would make him wince the next morning, he smiled: the carefree, gentle kind that usually came with being in love.
***
There were so many things Kibum wished he could have said, so many things he would have wanted Jonghyun to hear even though he likely already knew them. Things like how Kibum was never more at peace than when in Jonghyun’s presence, like how his song had made him cry silent tears once and how fond he was of the slight dimples in his lower back.
Just because he had known this day would come didn’t make it any easier to live through. He stayed on the beach until nightfall and went to stand in the very spot where they had made each other breathless. It was almost as if he could still see the imprint his sleeping bag had left in the sand if he looked hard enough.
He sat back, held his knees to his chest and let his tears drip down to his chin.
Epilogue
He still went surfing that summer, but never strayed too far from the main beach. He made plans to return to Daegu earlier than he would have in past years simply because there was nothing left for him here apart from his grandmother; the only other person that had made it worthwhile had taken everything else with them along with that last farewell. So, Kibum did whatever he could to carry on.
He had ended up meeting quite a few other surfers and they had cajoled him into joining their friendly yearly competition. He wasn’t that good but he had agreed to please and for the sake of distraction because carrying on proved hard most days.
He was waxing his board alongside other contestants underneath the temporary shelters when he caught himself thinking that it was admittedly in better shape than he had ever seen it before and that the change was welcome. He was too busy making sure he had gotten enough wax in all the right places to notice the figure approaching him.
Only when he heard someone clear their throat behind him did he turn around - and nearly toppled to the ground alongside his board. Jonghyun was standing, standing, in front of him, wearing that mischievous little smile he mastered so well. He was in nothing but a loose tank top and long shorts, his two bare feet planted firmly in the sand. He wiggled his toes when Kibum kept staring at them because they just looked so weird.
Jonghyun chuckled warmly, lifting Kibum’s chin up with a finger to then peck his lips - lips that were surprisingly warm. The few people around them were all watching them by then, and Kibum would have to remind himself to give Jonghyun a lecture on human etiquette later on.
“But… h-how?” he managed to mumble, causing Jonghyun to smile again, brighter this time, and cradle his face in his palms.
“It hurts my pride to say this, but you’re going to have to teach me how to swim with these,” Jonghyun answered instead, and Kibum could feel the beginnings of the largest, most maniacal grin stretching his own lips.
The boy right beside them cocked an eyebrow, catching Kibum’s eye over Jonghyun’s shoulder.
“Your boyfriend can’t swim?” he asked in surprise.
Kibum couldn’t seem to stop the grin on his face from stretching more and more. “Long story,” he sighed.
And a little later, when Jonghyun and Kibum retreated to their own rocky corner of the beach, Jonghyun admitted that human fairy tales had at least one thing right, after all.
+ Bonus Drabble in the comments section
Rating: R
Genre: Fantasy, some Angst, Romance
Word count: 7800
Summary: He spent one month by the sea every year, one month to forget himself in the embrace of another reality.
Note: mentions of the Haenyeo
A/N: Jonghyun being a sexy merman is very much the only point of this fic. My friend didn’t laugh at me when I told her about this idea, so I took it as a sign to go ahead. Apologies in advance for the abrupt ending. Also, discontinuous timeline alert!
____________________
His feet dangled over the edge of the rocky cliff, a good three meters above the water. He surveyed the horizon carefully, an endless murky blue that he had once feared. That most people still did fear. Now he would come here every chance he had.
The waves weren’t big, but Kibum knew from experience that they probably wouldn’t get much bigger. He threw his board into the water and jumped in after it, expertly avoiding the jagged, sharp rocks that he knew like the back of his hand. He hefted himself up onto it before tying it to his ankle and began to paddle out like he knew where he was going.
It wasn’t long before the other caught up to him, sprouting out of the water right in front of him. It would have scared the living daylights out of Kibum - had, in the past - if he weren’t so used to it. He merely stopped paddling, crossing his arms under his chin as he lay flat on his surfboard.
“Didn’t expect you to come in this tide,” he said in lieu of a proper greeting.
Jonghyun shrugged, naked shoulders rising out of the water.
“You swam out,” was all he got as an answer.
Kibum studied him seriously for a few seconds before breaking into a large grin.
“You scratched your fin around here last time and you whined about it for a week,” Kibum took pleasure in reminding him.
Jonghyun rolled his eyes but smiled back, lips tilted mischievously. “I live dangerously,” he said, and Kibum’s smile faltered a bit at that because he wasn’t lying.
***
Kibum had always loved the water. It wasn’t something he could really explain, it was just something he plain liked. It had started with swimming lessons back when he was in elementary school, had morphed into water skiing when he discovered his middle school had a team and had finally ended with him here, surfboard under his arm as he contemplated the best way to climb down the rocks and get into the sea.
The rocks were slippery; it was a bit risky, especially considering he was far from the nicer, more crowded beach. Still, the waves weren’t very big and Kibum wasn’t exactly looking for a thrill. He just wanted a place where he could let his mind go blank and he had found it in this little cove, on an island he visited as part of his yearly trip to see his grandmother.
The ocean was so unlike the pools, rivers and marinas he had been to; it gave him chills that weren’t entirely due to the cold water but it also intrigued him. Even as a toddler, he remembered standing on the beach, toes digging into the sand and staring out into the water whenever his grandmother took him for walks. Once he was old enough he came without her, foolishly thinking he was alone when no other humans were in sight.
He still remembered the first time he saw him, some years ago. He was floating on his board, just how he spent most of his days, when he spotted a flash of tan skin in the distance. He had thought how brave it was of them to forgo a wetsuit on this cloudy day, and then how strange it was when they didn’t come back up for air. Kibum had heard his fair share of stories about the divers that still inhabited the island - sirens, some called them - but he also knew how most of the locals didn’t even know how to swim.
One, two minutes passed and he began to worry. He dove and forced his eyes open despite the sting, only to yell, precious air bubbling out of his mouth as he then choked. The man in the water beneath him was close, too close, looking up at him with big round eyes and Kibum didn’t think twice before shooting upwards and onto his board. He held onto it for dear life, spluttering as he hacked out salt and water. He was more than wary when the man surfaced some distance away, with only his head poking ominously out of the water. He kicked helplessly in an attempt to get away yet all he could think of was how his grandmother had warned him not to let himself drift too far. He’d always thought she had meant to warn him about sharks and jellyfish, but now he wasn’t so sure.
When he stopped coughing long enough to look around, he noticed the man was gone. He climbed onto his board, frantically peering down into the water only to catch a glimpse of fiery red streaking right beneath him. The man emerged on his other side and it became pretty obvious then that this was no man, nor boy.
Jonghyun’s first words to him were, “You swim well, for a human.”
It didn’t take long for Jonghyun to admit that he had been watching Kibum, equally intrigued by the board he swam with than by what kind of human was willing to come out so far into the ocean alone. Even the island’s renowned divers were smart enough - Jonghyun’s words, again - to head out in groups.
Kibum hadn’t replied anything, couldn’t have even if he wanted to because he was still busy processing the fact that the man-like creature in front of him was sporting a vibrant red tail instead of two legs, but was still somehow talking to him with a sheepish grin that was as apologetic as it was normal.
As it turned out, Kibum was too shocked to speak for the better part of an hour, but Jonghyun seemed happy to fill in the blanks in between bouts of blatant staring. He was rather fond of asking questions even if Kibum was in no state to answer them, and he’d just blurted out something about being told to stay away from the coast when he accidentally admitted that he preferred the sound of his voice above instead of underwater. Suddenly, Jonghyun started to make a little more sense.
***
He was sitting on the lowest rock, water soaking through his shorts as a familiar head of dark hair appeared by his side. Jonghyun rested his elbows on the rock, tail wagging slowly behind him to keep himself afloat.
“What is it this time?”
For a merman who was meant to spend a lifetime in salt water, Kibum had come to learn that Jonghyun had a surprisingly eager sweet tooth.
“Gummy bears,” Kibum informed him with an indulgent smile. He tossed the small bag and Jonghyun scrambled to catch it but it still ended up falling in the water with a splash. Kibum laughed as Jonghyun dove to catch it, only to shake his wet hair all over Kibum’s dry t-shirt when he came back.
Jonghyun tore the package open and dug out a little green bear, eyeing it intently.
“At least these won’t get soggy in water, like the pepero sticks,” Kibum told him, amused. Jonghyun sniffed at the candy before shoving it in his mouth, eyes going wide as he chewed. He gave an appreciative hum before guzzling four more and rolling onto his back next to Kibum, tail propped up lazily on another rock.
“I like these,” he mumbled through a mouthful and Kibum chuckled again.
“Everybody likes these.” Jonghyun made another thoughtful sound and tipped the bag into his mouth. “Leave some for me!” Kibum chided him, tugging on a corner of the package. Jonghyun merely shook his head, cheeks comically round and stuffed with candy.
“No,” he said childishly, but Kibum was quicker; he snatched the bag out of his hand and stole a few before letting the now half-empty bag flop down onto Jonghyun’s chest. He then threw one of the bears at Jonghyun for good measure, catching the side of his face. It bounced back and landed in the folds of Kibum’s shorts, but Jonghyun ate it anyway.
“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question - they had been through this enough times already.
Kibum sighed, poking at the cherry red gummy in his palm. “How do you know?”
Jonghyun swallowed another mouthful before answering. “Well,” he started, but with a playful glint to his eyes, “you’ve been taming me with candy. More so than usual.” Kibum chortled at that, but it was without humour. Jonghyun’s eyes grew darker, more serious as he continued, “You’ve been rather quiet lately.”
Kibum didn’t know how he felt about leaving. His life wasn’t here; he belonged in Daegu with his friends. He belonged in a classroom, on land with the rest of his kind. Whenever he left home to come here, to this shore that seemed to border the realms of reality and fantasy, it always felt like he was putting his life on hold for the month or so he stayed here. It was like hitting the pause button, only to press play once he was back with his mother and father in their small apartment. This wasn’t his life.
And yet he never felt more at peace than when he stayed up past sunset with Jonghyun by his side, leaning back onto damp sand that sooner or later left him frozen to the bone. It was slightly mind-boggling.
“I leave tomorrow,” he said blandly. He felt more than he saw Jonghyun go still beside him, tail going stiff as he tensed up.
“Okay,” Jonghyun spoke after a while, his tone carefully neutral. “Okay. I’ll follow your ferry.”
It unnerved Kibum whenever Jonghyun followed the boat that would bring him back to the continent. There was something deeply unsettling about being watched without being able to see him, about knowing that their farewell wasn’t face to face. Then again, it had all started in a similar way, but that didn’t mean Kibum wanted it to end like this, not when he never knew if this farewell would be the last.
“You’ll come find me again next year, right?” Kibum still asked in a small voice.
Jonghyun looked at him, something akin to pity and remorse in his dark brown eyes. “You know I can’t promise that.”
“Yeah.” He really did know, but he still hoped. “Be safe, okay?”
Kibum felt Jonghyun touch his side, his hand lingering for a long moment before going back to cradling the bag of gummy bears. “You too.”
***
Kibum had spent much of those first weeks in Jonghyun’s presence what seemed like eons ago observing him. It took him less than a day to figure out he needed air to breathe but could hold his breath for a freakishly long time, took him five days to realize Jonghyun had a voice that could put many singers’ to shame and six more to think it wasn’t simple curiosity that kept him coming back at every sunrise.
It wasn’t that Jonghyun didn’t speak of merfolk, because he did, but rather that he didn’t speak of his pod, or shoal - Kibum wasn’t sure how to call it. He was lonely. Kibum couldn’t exactly empathize, not when he came to his grandmother’s every year expecting and seeking solitude.
Yet Jonghyun proved to be good company and, most importantly, an even greater escape from reality than was floating on his board and riding the occasional wave. More than anything, that was what this little yearly trip had come to mean to Kibum, and Jonghyun fit right in.
From the waist up, Jonghyun was perfectly normal. He was rather broad-shouldered, with tan skin that never wrinkled no matter how much time he spent submerged. He had an easy smile and the most expressive eyes Kibum had ever seen - they probably made him into the worst liar, which would explain why Jonghyun was so startlingly honest. He wore a small seashell as a necklace and yet, for all that he seemed normal, his small, thin waist gave way to a bright red tail that was anything but.
It was shiny, even after hours spent lounging in the sunlight on dry land, and the fin at the end was wide, streaked with the faintest hint of a darker burgundy. Kibum had spent many days ogling it from afar, unable to keep his gaze from it at times, before he gathered up the courage to take a closer look.
They were sitting on the beach, waves licking at their feet and then the seat of Kibum’s pants as the tide grew. There were rarely any people who wandered this side of the rocky cliff and it was late enough that Kibum had no worry of them being seen. Jonghyun had gone quiet - for once - and Kibum caught himself staring again at the tail stretched out beside him. It looked smooth, but somehow thick-skinned, a bit like a dolphin’s.
“Do you want to touch it?”
Kibum lifted his eyes to find Jonghyun looking at him, leaning back onto his outstretched arms. A hint of a smile played on his lips, as though eager or amused. Kibum didn’t have time to answer before Jonghyun reached out to grasp his wrist and bring his hand to what should have been his lap.
Kibum had been right; the skin was soft to the touch but tougher than human skin. He let his fingers glide over to the side, slowly, with barely enough pressure to feel. He looked so pale next to the deep scarlet, and upon closer inspection he realized that the colour wasn’t exactly uniform but with slightly different pigments in places, much like his own skin. Jonghyun simply watched him, lips twitching as though he was trying not to smile, as Kibum took in his fill.
It was the strangest thing to feel muscles tighten and loosen underneath Jonghyun’s thick skin, muscles that gave strength to a long tail and so unlike anything in the human body. Jonghyun flicked his fin and Kibum could feel the power of it ripple beneath his palm. He removed his hand when he began to feel self-conscious, yet Jonghyun was ever so curious.
He ran a thumb down the side of Kibum’s calf, lingering near his ankle before wrapping his fingers around it.
“You’re surprisingly smooth,” Jonghyun spoke up. “I thought humans were supposed to be hairy.”
Kibum couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past his lips, “I suppose we are, but I shave. It’s more comfortable in a wetsuit,” he explained.
“Those black suits you wear in the water?” Jonghyun asked, letting go of his ankle to instead thumb at his sandal.
“Yeah,” Kibum answered, “they keep us warm.”
Jonghyun frowned, fingers going still for a moment. “But humans are warm-blooded animals,” he said plainly, features twisting in confusion as he looked at Kibum.
“We still need warmth to survive,” Kibum went on hesitantly, “don’t you?”
Jonghyun seemed to study him quietly before answering, “We can tolerate colder waters.” His tone had lowered, taking on a more serious and somehow solemn expression. He prodded Kibum with two fingers where his shorts had ridden up on his thigh, pressing the pads of his colder fingers carefully against his skin. “Our skin temperature lowers to help accommodate. We still favour warmer seas, however.”
Kibum nodded, wondering why, then, Jonghyun was here where the water wasn’t particularly warm even on a good day. Yet, there was something about Jonghyun’s peculiar expression that kept him from asking.
***
“Are you crying?”
“No,” Jonghyun replied vehemently, twisting himself on the rock so that Kibum couldn’t see his face and causing something to fall from his lap. “I just got salt in my eye.”
“Ha ha,” Kibum humoured him, “very funny. Seriously, are you crying?”
“Yes, okay!” Jonghyun spat, turning around to reveal red, puffy eyes. He picked up the fallen object and waved it at Kibum rather angrily. “It’s that stupid book you gave me!”
Kibum approached him slowly, biting his lips in an attempt not to break into a smile. “You cried because of The Little Mermaid?”
“But it’s so sad!” Jonghyun lamented, voice cracking on the last syllables. He looked slightly hysterical. “She just loves him, unconditionally, and she has to suffer and die because of it!” He threw the book at Kibum but ended up missing pitifully, the book splashing into the water by his side.
Kibum stared blankly at the sinking book for a moment, processing, before finally realizing. “Oh god,” he muttered, slapping a hand to his face. “I gave you the wrong version.”
Jonghyun sniffled loudly, hoisting himself off the rock with his arms and mumbling something about tears being indistinguishable underwater before slipping into the ocean. Kibum searched for the missing book - a library loan, actually - but soon figured it was in vain, so he treaded back home.
When he returned an hour later with a bag of licorice, the dripping book was propped up on a rock under the sunlight and Jonghyun was sitting with his back to it. He turned around, though, upon hearing the tell-tale crackle of plastic wrappings and all was forgiven by the time the bag was empty.
***
The fervour with which he hoped to find Jonghyun waiting for him that second summer surprised Kibum. Of course, Jonghyun had been at the back of his mind all year but he wasn’t prepared for this feeling, this energy that had him running all the way to the beach even though he was weary with travel. He stumbled to a stop as he neared the sand, chucking off his shoes to then dash into the water, moving until his shorts were soaked to mid-thigh. He stopped as the water made it hard to run further, panting while he stood surveying the horizon. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, partly due to his sprinting but also to the anticipation, the hope of catching a glimpse of bright crimson amongst the waves. The longer he stood, the stronger this feeling grew, mixed in with a desperation Kibum never expected.
And then, he released a high-pitched yell as cool water splashed all over his side, effectively drenching most of his shirt. Before the shock of it could sink in, Jonghyun burst out of the water laughing. His laughter turned into a strange gurgling, however, when Kibum tackled him into the water. Jonghyun, more agile, twisted himself free of his grasp and resumed laughing a safer distance away, leaving Kibum crouched in the water, now drenched head to toe but with a wide, dimpled smile on his face.
Kibum’s family knew of his “friend” Jonghyun and it worked in everyone’s favour that Kibum omitted to tell them he had a vibrant red tail with a fin instead of two legs. His family was relieved that he had someone to look after him at the beach, while Kibum was simply relieved that Jonghyun was a continuing part of his little yearly escapes.
Jonghyun was curious about his family and when Kibum told him that they knew about him, sort of, Jonghyun seemed deeply touched by their blind acceptance even if they didn’t know the whole truth. His reaction sparked questions and although Jonghyun was always honest, it became apparent to Kibum that he avoided discussing some subjects.
He loved to talk about his older sister, but somehow managed to remain slightly vague about her, only offering anecdotes. Kibum could understand why, so he listened carefully, mindful not to interrupt because he was under the impression Jonghyun wouldn’t willingly be sharing this again.
“My sister used to tell me all about her adventures in your language, as practice. I learned fast, and I’ll never forget some of her stories. She followed humans around, or spied on them if you prefer. She came to this island often, actually. She would watch the female divers as they worked and listen to them as they gathered on the beach afterwards to talk. She would have loved nothing more than to speak to one of them, but she knew better.”
Kibum granted him a sad smile while Jonghyun did his best to remain neutral, although Kibum could see the strain behind it. He scooted closer in the sand and embraced Jonghyun gently. It was amazing, how important it made him feel, when Jonghyun’s arms wound around his body to hug him back.
***
It was on a cloudless, hot summer day that made the surface of the ocean pleasurably lukewarm that Kibum climbed on the rocky cliff to the sound of Jonghyun humming quietly to himself and got an idea. An idea that was as simple as it was ridiculous, but Kibum was adamant to let Jonghyun have this.
“Do you know what camping is?” he asked as soon as he reached the rock Jonghyun was resting on, tail curled over the edge, startling him a bit.
He furrowed his brow in thought, but eventually shook his head as Kibum took a seat by his side, feet dangling alongside Jonghyun’s long, thick tail.
“It’s this thing humans do; you sleep outside, in a tent and in these sort of padded bags, and you build a fire to heat your food.”
Jonghyun scrunched his nose, looking perplexed by the very idea. “But why?”
“For fun,” Kibum answered. Jonghyun looked even more confused, one of his eyebrows arching up.
“Why would you do that when you have houses?”
Kibum shrugged, giving up on trying to explain its appeal. “We could camp out on the beach tonight. We’ll hide your tail and you could sing as loud as you want,” Kibum told him excitedly.
“Really?” Jonghyun asked, round-eyed, and Kibum grinned harder. Jonghyun reciprocated, tail thumping on the rock below them as he sort of bounced up and down, his body wriggling rather awkwardly in a way that had Kibum laughing.
Kibum didn’t own a tent, but he did have a sleeping bag; he rolled it up and tucked it under his arm along with a few other essential items and snuck out onto the beach. The sun had almost entirely disappeared behind the seemingly endless sea - casting all manners of purples and oranges into the sky - and even the main beach was deserted. Jonghyun was waiting for him in the sand, tail only partly hidden by the waves that would drive up the shore and cover his lap. It looked a darker shade of red in the dimming sunlight, but was still glimmering as it always did. Kibum actually paused in his footsteps when Jonghyun threw him a look over his shoulder, dark, damp hair falling messily into his eyes, because the picture he painted at that moment was a lot to take in. He looked even tanner in this light, which also casted shadows along the dips and curves of his body and Kibum realized at once how much he had filled out over the years. Jonghyun cocked his head to the side when Kibum stayed put, prompting him to shake himself out of it and hurry to his side.
He unrolled his sleeping bag a little higher on the beach, just enough to keep them dry considering the tide was at its highest anyway. Jonghyun wormed his way up through the sand, complaining as he always did when he had to crawl, bemoaning his lack of skills of dry land. He said it made him feel like he was carrying three times his weight.
“It’s all that candy in your stomach,” Kibum taunted him before tossing him a bag of marshmallows.
They ran into a bit of a problem when they discovered Jonghyun’s tail fin to be too wide to fit into the sleeping bag. They were both left scratching their heads for a moment until Jonghyun suggested they lay down half in the water. Kibum firmly opposed that idea, not wanting to turn into a wrinkled prune and freeze midway through the night, so he suggested burying the tip of Jonghyun’s tail in the sand instead. After much grumbling on Jonghyun’s part, he agreed but didn’t help Kibum dig up a hole, content with laying back and stuffing as many marshmallows as he could into his mouth - which was a lot - while Kibum patted damp sand over his fin.
Kibum then lay down onto the opened sleeping bag next to him, wrapping it around them to cover the rest of them. Jonghyun’s body was neither hot nor cold in this weather, and Kibum had seen him often enough, been close to him enough that their proximity didn’t make him uncomfortable. On the contrary, being wrapped up beside him enthralled him in a way that made him suddenly giddy - like he couldn’t stop laughing regardless of what Jonghyun had done or said.
It made it very difficult to cram marshmallows into his mouth as he tried to beat Jonghyun’s record, obviously failing and ending up a slobbering mess of saliva, gooey marshmallows and tears of laughter.
It took them forever to swallow them all, so much so that the sun had completely sunk below the horizon by the time they could articulate again. But Kibum had planned ahead, flicking on his flashlight and handing a large, flat book to Jonghyun; an illustrated version of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Jonghyun took it warily, eyeing the cover suspiciously but Kibum urged him on and soon he was flipping pages - first with a frown and then with a smile.
“No way,” Kibum said, pointing the flashlight to Jonghyun’s face for a better look, “you’re tearing up again. Why are you tearing up? This is the happy version!”
“It’s just,” Jonghyun spoke with a sniffle, voice slightly strained, “she’s so happy.”
Kibum rolled his eyes and gave a snort that dissolved into a chuckle when Jonghyun looked at him with big, helpless round eyes.
Kibum set the book aside and turned off the light, leaving nothing but the glow of the moon to bathe everything in a bluish tone. He sunk down deeper into the sleeping bag, pulling it tighter around them before resting his head just below Jonghyun’s chin and closing his eyes.
“Now you can sing,” he mumbled.
Jonghyun placed a hand on his back, and sang for a long time.
Early that morning, when the sun was just peeking out and the air was still cold, Kibum woke up wondering why his bed was so hard and why his pillow had vanished. He opened his eyes to the sight of Jonghyun propped up on his elbow beside him, watching him with half-opened eyes. His lips and cheeks were puffy with sleep, and Kibum could do nothing, absolutely nothing to stop his heart from lurching in his chest when Jonghyun leaned down to kiss him. Just as quickly, he drew back with a small smile and slithered out of the sleeping bag before Kibum could catch up, slipping back into the sea without a word.
***
Within a few weeks of knowing Jonghyun, Kibum realized that history textbooks omitted much of the truth. Whether it was because people who knew of merfolk’s existence kept quiet or because younger people brushed them off as mere folk tales, he didn’t know.
Jonghyun had told him all about this island when Kibum had casually mentioned the few female divers that still worked along these coasts. Sirens, some used to call them. Jonghyun had looked sheepish as he’d uttered that.
“That’s because there actually used to be sirens,” Jonghyun said, and Kibum’s mouth fell open.
“You mean they used to be mermaids?” he asked, bewildered by the thought.
“No,” Jonghyun was quick to correct, shaking his head. “I meant that we used to trade with humans on this island, many, many years back.”
Kibum had to admit it made sense considering the rich culture that seemed to surround all matters of the sea around here. This raised many questions, but Jonghyun was faster.
“We would hunt for them, provide them with food from the sea. In return, you gave us things we didn’t have; metals, mirrors, jewels. It was a fair trade, if you ask me. Metal tools are much better than any sharpened rock.
“But our peoples kept separate for the most part, didn’t usually interact more than what was needed. Trust didn’t run deep, and that proved true when one of ours died at your people’s hands. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this story as a child to warn me from ever nearing humans.”
Kibum’s eyes widened at the revelation, beginning to understand just how much it meant for Jonghyun to be sitting beside him, conversing casually as he was now. It must have been simply unimaginable to Jonghyun’s kind. Kibum couldn’t say he was sure it was worth the trouble and danger it must have put him in.
“We were betrayed,” Jonghyun went on, more serious than Kibum had ever seen him before. “We stopped the trade, made do with what we had. They say that your men were too busy at war, if not with their neighbours then with themselves, and so it was up to women to learn how to dive to feed their families. Some of us still speak your language, but it is slowly being forgotten.”
Jonghyun’s voice drifted away at that, eyes locked far ahead of him.
“Why do you speak it?” Kibum asked, Jonghyun’s last sentence replaying in his mind. “I mean, you’re young.”
“I was taught. My sister, she - she admired humans very much. She has shown me a lot,” was all that Jonghyun offered.
“Admired?” Kibum probed, struck by the way Jonghyun had spoken the word.
“Yes,” Jonghyun spoke curtly, uncharacteristically cold. And yet Kibum couldn’t leave it at that.
“What happened?”
“She died.” Jonghyun was still refusing to look at him as he lifted a hand to turn over the small shell that he wore around his neck. Only then did Kibum notice the encrusted gem - green like emerald. “This was hers. It was the colour of her tail.”
Jonghyun let the shell back fall to its usual place, right in the dip of his collarbone, emerald hidden against his skin. Kibum didn’t say anything for what felt like the longest time, not knowing what to say other than “It’s a beautiful colour”.
***
The waves were actually big that day, enough to make for acceptable surf. Kibum was so eager he decided to go without his wetsuit, thinking maybe he wouldn’t need it under the strong sun. It was nice to stand up on his board and drag his fingertips against the water.
It was almost midday when he noticed a spot of red perched at the edge of the rocky cliff. Smiling, he flattened himself on his board and paddled towards the rocks to climb them, dragging his board along. Jonghyun greeted him with a smirk, muscled arms crossed over his chest.
“It never ceases to amaze me that you manage to stand up on that thing with your two skinny legs,” he teased. Kibum meant to kick him in the side with said skinny legs but Jonghyun had obviously been anticipating it, reaching out suddenly to grip his ankle and arm, bringing him down and rolling on top of him.
Kibum’s protests weakened when Jonghyun looked down at him, still smirking but with a much softer gaze. Kibum didn’t protest at all when Jonghyun kissed him, but rather encouraged it with a hand in his damp locks and another to his waist, eagerly returning the salty kisses he had grown so addicted to.
***
There were days when Kibum worried incessantly. As the years went by, he fell into a pattern; he would worry more and more until the day of his departure from the island, after which that worry would stay with him for many months, sometimes pushed to the back of his mind but sometimes resurfacing without warning. Then he would go back to worrying frantically as he prepared to leave for his grandmother’s again, but that feeling would vanish entirely upon seeing Jonghyun swim up to him. He knew, as much as it worried him, as much as he didn’t want to believe it, that one day he would return and not be greeted by such a sight.
Jonghyun never promised; he couldn’t. Not because the sea wasn’t the safest place to be, but because he had his own kind to return to, those he probably left waiting every year. Kibum had the feeling they nested someplace far, far away from here. He didn’t blame them, and most times he had the hardest time understanding why Jonghyun had swam here in the first place, why he’d even given Kibum the light of day.
And yet other days, when the weight of things didn’t feel so heavy, when all he cared about was what kind of candy he’d buy next, he would joke around and tell Jonghyun he’d build a gigantic pool when he was older so that Jonghyun could stay however long he wanted. Those days, when he couldn’t care less about the way the dye in his hair was slowly turning green due to a precarious mixture of sunlight and salt - Jonghyun liked the colour, anyway - when on any other day it would have had him running to the salon, those days he smiled naively and let himself indulge in the thought of going on like this forever. It became his new escape.
“What do you tell them? When you leave to spend a month by the shore, what do you say?” The sky had been a blend of greys that day and the early morning dew had made him grit his teeth.
“I don’t say anything,” was Jonghyun’s simple answer. At first, Kibum hadn’t expected him to continue, but something about his expression that seemed to match the weather had him thinking twice. “A lot of young merfolk wander. We aren’t as tied to places as you humans. But we are tied to our kin. When a teenager takes off they are expected to return. If they do not, they are taken for dead. My sister, she - she was always fascinated by the human world. Of course, showing any interest in your race is taboo, unspeakable. But she wouldn’t hear it. She had been following a fishing ship for a few weeks when we found her. She was dead, cold, tangled up in a net. The worst part is we’ll never know what really happened.”
Kibum kept quiet, thoughtful, and it seemed fitting how even the waves had calmed that morning.
“What happens if your kin leave you? What are you tied to then?”
Jonghyun granted him a sad smile, shrugging slightly, and Kibum somehow understood his wordless answer.
***
“I like these,” Jonghyun spoke, leaning in close to poke a finger to Kibum’s naked shoulder. Kibum swatted his hand away as though it were a persistent bug. He went back to squeezing his t-shirt dry because Jonghyun had soaked it yet again; he’d been laughing so hard his tail was twitching, and it eventually flicked, sending an impressive amount of water Kibum’s way. He’d merely kept laughing when Kibum ended up looking like a drowned cat.
Jonghyun ignored him, poking him at the top of his shoulder blade this time. Kibum raised his shoulders to his neck, part ticklish and part self-conscious. He had a few freckles scattered over his shoulders and upper arms that were nearly invisible in the wintertime - he had never particularly liked the way the summer sun seemed to make them stand out even more. Now, however, he was beginning to rethink that.
“They’re just freckles,” Kibum replied, a bit forced. Jonghyun leaned in again, too close, like he had never grasped the concept of personal space, before reiterating, “I like them.”
And Kibum thought he understood, if only a little, because he was quite fond of some of the quirks and details on Jonghyun’s body, like the slight asymmetrical slant to his eyes and his own small freckle on his collarbone. Sometimes he’d catch himself staring at the curve of Jonghyun’s back, too, when the latter was resting on his stomach. If he was in a dreamy mood, he’d try to imagine him with legs but he could never quite get the image right in his mind.
He had realized long ago that Jonghyun was beautiful in a blatant way, but he there was also a subtle beauty to him that showed through his too-wide, toothy smiles and through his almost frighteningly intense gazes whenever he pinned Kibum down. His kisses could both leave him ablaze or leave him comforted and content. Jonghyun was a master of nuances; he always seemed to know which one Kibum was craving, and that sort of wordless attentiveness mixed in with light-hearted playfulness was perhaps the most endearingly beautiful thing of all. Because, all things considered, it would probably have been easier for him to wear a frown.
So, when Jonghyun turned to face him, hip pressing into the outside of his thigh, the soft lips and gentle kiss they laid on his didn’t surprise him. He couldn’t say the same about the quick nip at his bottom lip and ensuing chuckle, but Kibum had to admit he liked them just as much.
Jonghyun didn’t stop, then; he kept kissing him until Kibum was just this side of breathless, fingertips lost in Jonghyun’s mane of hair. When they pulled apart, it was with matching dazed smiles.
“Let’s go swim,” Jonghyun murmured, untangling his arms from around Kibum’s neck to slide his hands down his arms, thumbs gently kneading at his skin.
“Okay.”
Jonghyun maneuvered himself onto a lower rock before plunging into the water, Kibum following close behind alongside his trusty board. It was weathered down, colours made drab with use but he didn’t want to part from it. If he had been sentimental he could have said that it helped steer him in the right direction, so to speak, but he wasn’t so he settled for admitting that he liked it, plainly, and was for some reason drawn to the fact that it had been a second-hand purchase.
He tied it to his ankle and began to paddle, quickly losing track of Jonghyun ahead. For a split second, it was as if he had lost control of his thoughts and wondered without meaning to if he would come back. The thought stung in the most unpleasant way, leaving behind a dull burn that caught him off-guard.
But then he felt his board underneath him being propelled forward and clamped onto it with a screech, only barely managing to stay on. He didn’t have to look down to know that there was a red tail beating wildly behind him. Jonghyun always did tease him that he was slow in the water.
The shore was far away by the time his board slowed down, Jonghyun reappearing at the surface for air. He then let himself float on his back like it was the easiest thing to do, hands behind his head. He also liked to rest his head in the curve of Kibum’s back, but that day he simply let himself drift. His eyes would fall shut sometimes, and sometimes Kibum couldn’t resist sneaking over and leaning in to steal a kiss, in turn.
***
The second time, it was Jonghyun who suggested it. They were both a little older, a little wiser in some ways, and Kibum found himself nodding before he could even say yes.
He brought his sleeping bag, the same one, and waited until the tide was at its highest to lay it down. He gave Jonghyun a piece of the dark chocolate he had packed, purposefully not telling him that chocolate tended to melt and outright laughing when Jonghyun had to lick all over his fingers a while later. Jonghyun reciprocated by giving him a big, messy open-mouthed kiss that Kibum kept laughing into. If he had been paying attention to something other than Jonghyun’s mouth on his and the taste of his tongue, he would have noticed by the way Jonghyun’s fingers kept twisting in his shirt that the latter had something else in mind. Jonghyun coaxed him deeper into the kiss with practiced strokes of his tongue, earning a hum or two as Kibum gave absolutely no resistance.
As fast as it had started, Jonghyun drew back to slide his shirt up to his chest, going on to press wet kisses to his stomach. His lips had warmed by then and every time they brushed his skin Kibum felt an unfamiliar tension coil and knot within him.
He slipped his shirt off over his head only to see Jonghyun looking at him, hunched above him with something dark and heavy in his eyes. It was as if a switch had been flipped and, all at once, Kibum wanted it just as bad, nervousness be damned.
Jonghyun sank down onto him, fitting his tail between Kibum’s legs. When he kissed him again it was with a heat that he had never experienced before, pulling a small whimper from Kibum’s throat. Jonghyun bit down softly on his lower lip, hips beginning to roll slowly into his. Kibum’s head fell back at that, shivers running down his spine and making him tremble with the need to latch onto Jonghyun and spread his legs wider.
He clutched at Jonghyun’s back with a hand, the other threading into his hair out of habit and tugging slightly at the roots. Jonghyun smothered him once more before he could even get the chance to breathe, muffling his gasp as he kept rocking against him. It was like Jonghyun knew just how to undo him with his every touch, leaving Kibum grappling at his sides and back for a sense of control he had long lost.
He felt Jonghyun grow and harden out of his slit as he shifted to a faster, jerkier pace. Kibum’s back was chafing against the sand with how he was canting his hips upwards to meet him. He broke their kiss to bury his face into Jonghyun’s neck when the heat became too much, arms wound tight around Jonghyun’s body and fingers digging into skin as pleasure threatened to overwhelm him. He could feel Jonghyun’s warmth through his shorts, could feel the sea shell he wore sticking to his own chest and plush lips catching on the skin of his neck as they hung open, straining for air.
Kibum came with a choked moan, wrapped up under Jonghyun’s weight and around him in an impossible and yet perfect tangle. His eyes clenched shut with the force of it, muscles stiff, locked into place by the time it weaned off. He was still tense when Jonghyun went still above him, crushing him as he made no effort to hold himself, hips resuming a slow, lazy roll once Kibum felt wetness that wasn’t his own trickle down the front of his shorts.
Finally relaxing, he laid his head back and let his hands slip from Jonghyun’s waist, panting made difficult by the boneless merman atop him. Jonghyun began pressing fleeting kisses to his neck and jaw, sometimes licking at the sweat in between.
Kibum had sand in his hair and Jonghyun’s back was probably streaked with long, red welts. He was certain that Jonghyun’s hips and backside would have been showing bruises, too, if his skin there hadn’t been so thick. And yet, even if the sight of his own back would make him wince the next morning, he smiled: the carefree, gentle kind that usually came with being in love.
***
There were so many things Kibum wished he could have said, so many things he would have wanted Jonghyun to hear even though he likely already knew them. Things like how Kibum was never more at peace than when in Jonghyun’s presence, like how his song had made him cry silent tears once and how fond he was of the slight dimples in his lower back.
Just because he had known this day would come didn’t make it any easier to live through. He stayed on the beach until nightfall and went to stand in the very spot where they had made each other breathless. It was almost as if he could still see the imprint his sleeping bag had left in the sand if he looked hard enough.
He sat back, held his knees to his chest and let his tears drip down to his chin.
Epilogue
He still went surfing that summer, but never strayed too far from the main beach. He made plans to return to Daegu earlier than he would have in past years simply because there was nothing left for him here apart from his grandmother; the only other person that had made it worthwhile had taken everything else with them along with that last farewell. So, Kibum did whatever he could to carry on.
He had ended up meeting quite a few other surfers and they had cajoled him into joining their friendly yearly competition. He wasn’t that good but he had agreed to please and for the sake of distraction because carrying on proved hard most days.
He was waxing his board alongside other contestants underneath the temporary shelters when he caught himself thinking that it was admittedly in better shape than he had ever seen it before and that the change was welcome. He was too busy making sure he had gotten enough wax in all the right places to notice the figure approaching him.
Only when he heard someone clear their throat behind him did he turn around - and nearly toppled to the ground alongside his board. Jonghyun was standing, standing, in front of him, wearing that mischievous little smile he mastered so well. He was in nothing but a loose tank top and long shorts, his two bare feet planted firmly in the sand. He wiggled his toes when Kibum kept staring at them because they just looked so weird.
Jonghyun chuckled warmly, lifting Kibum’s chin up with a finger to then peck his lips - lips that were surprisingly warm. The few people around them were all watching them by then, and Kibum would have to remind himself to give Jonghyun a lecture on human etiquette later on.
“But… h-how?” he managed to mumble, causing Jonghyun to smile again, brighter this time, and cradle his face in his palms.
“It hurts my pride to say this, but you’re going to have to teach me how to swim with these,” Jonghyun answered instead, and Kibum could feel the beginnings of the largest, most maniacal grin stretching his own lips.
The boy right beside them cocked an eyebrow, catching Kibum’s eye over Jonghyun’s shoulder.
“Your boyfriend can’t swim?” he asked in surprise.
Kibum couldn’t seem to stop the grin on his face from stretching more and more. “Long story,” he sighed.
And a little later, when Jonghyun and Kibum retreated to their own rocky corner of the beach, Jonghyun admitted that human fairy tales had at least one thing right, after all.
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