The Turkey Holocaust...
So yeah, what a super fucking day. Thanksgiving at my house...I'd rather be disembowled with a wooden spoon than ever have to live through another holiday like this one. The plans were the usual Greek thing, lots of food, followed by watching fun movies all day. Sounds like a fun, relaxing day, right? WRONG! It turns out to be just the five of us this year, which is not fun at all. By the hour of 2 my father had already consumed 5 shots and 12 beers. Then he sat on the floor and took up the entire family room for a couple hours to clean his hunting guns while watching a hunting show. What the hell?! Hick ass! Motherfucker, we were supposed to watch Christmas Vacation or some shit of the like, but no... clean ur fucking guns b/c that is completely necessary. I think the best part of this was that he had a mug of coffee next to a beer can. Gotta laugh at it, gotta, or I'll go nuts. So anyway, moving on,...so he ends up really sauced and starts talking out of his ass (his mouth, same difference) and ends up being a dick times 10. Talking about me as though I am not right there. Let me tell you, I thrive on that! Then he is outside and is talking about me to Sam, the nine year old, someone he can actually match up with mentally, although I think Sam is smarter. Well I heard what he said about me and just gave up and started crying b/c I don't think I deserve that at all. So I am just pissed off and tired of it.
Moving on... He had to sit next to me at the dinner table. And I was going to puke all over him in disgust as he practically fell asleep in his food while getting it all over the place. So what did I do? I made fun of him the whole time and the best part is he was too drunk (as usual) to notice. I threw salt, pretended to snort pepper up my nose, rubbed mashed potatoes all over my face, stuck my tongue through a round sliver of cranberry sauce, shoved an entire biscuit in my mouth and attempted to speak, and put slice of turkey under my eyes. And my mom just sat there and pretended everything was fine like she usually does, nick held back from laughing, and sam got the biggest kick out of it ever. All in all, I am fucking cool and should have my own TV show.
In other news, it has just been brought to my attention by my mother that I developed what doctors like to call a social cough as a baby. This is something that is done to gain attention. So basically at the mere age of 6 months I was already longing to be a star. She told me this because she thinks my actions at the table were "for attention" Haha Unbelieveable! I know she loves it, I caught her digging it a few times. I can't wait until tomorrow, or maybe I can. I hope everything works out alright. =/ ::prays::
Moving on... He had to sit next to me at the dinner table. And I was going to puke all over him in disgust as he practically fell asleep in his food while getting it all over the place. So what did I do? I made fun of him the whole time and the best part is he was too drunk (as usual) to notice. I threw salt, pretended to snort pepper up my nose, rubbed mashed potatoes all over my face, stuck my tongue through a round sliver of cranberry sauce, shoved an entire biscuit in my mouth and attempted to speak, and put slice of turkey under my eyes. And my mom just sat there and pretended everything was fine like she usually does, nick held back from laughing, and sam got the biggest kick out of it ever. All in all, I am fucking cool and should have my own TV show.
In other news, it has just been brought to my attention by my mother that I developed what doctors like to call a social cough as a baby. This is something that is done to gain attention. So basically at the mere age of 6 months I was already longing to be a star. She told me this because she thinks my actions at the table were "for attention" Haha Unbelieveable! I know she loves it, I caught her digging it a few times. I can't wait until tomorrow, or maybe I can. I hope everything works out alright. =/ ::prays::