(no subject)
So, I was thinking…
It's an election year. Lately one can always tell it’s getting close to an election when the whole supposedly 'pro-family' groups start with attacking gay people again and the president and those that tell him what to do start with the gay marriage ban again. So, here we go again…
Yesterday I heard of 7 members of an Indianapolis family getting murdered, more and more children are doing without healthcare, Americans as well as Iraqis (including children) are dying everyday in Iraq (regardless of the reasons, or what should be done about it, people are dying daily). Gas is 3 bucks a gallon (I drive for work, most of my pay goes right back into my gas tank, making it hardly worth it to work). The gas companies are raking in record profits and bragging about it. Housing is getting so expensive that people can't afford to buy a house in the major cities, where a lot of the good jobs are. Americans are killing Americans daily. Children are starving in America. Daily. Children are abused and neglected. In America. Daily. There are still people left homeless from Katrina. Here in America. I could go on and on and on and on.
With all these things happening, what has become this government’s priority? The gay marriage amendment (old faithful) to try, once again, to get the vote of the supposedly 'pro-family' crowd. Isn't this getting old? Serial murderers and child molesters spending the rest of their lives in prison can get married, but two consenting, tax-paying, law-abiding adults of the same sex can’t get married or have anything at all like it? Now, I'm not sure when it happened, but apparently gay people are anti-family, which is funny, because EVERY single gay person I know actually came from and HAS a family. As best as I can tell, the biggest threat to marriage thus far has come from heterosexual marriage. Why do they never mention banning divorce and RE-marriage, because, after all, according to the Bible that they want to quote when it comes to gay people, Jesus said (more than one time) that anyone that divorces and remarries, or marries someone that has been divorced (look it up) is committing ADULTERY. Adultery! One of the Ten Commandments. Thou shall not commit adultery. And I can't seem to find the 'Thou shall not be gay' commandment. Actually, I can’t find a single place in the Bible where Jesus says anything about gay people. It must be somewhere. I just can't find it. I wonder why the supposedly 'pro-family' crowd doesn't want to ban divorce or remarriage. Not that I think they should, nor would I consider remarriage adultery, but why is it just the gay people they attack? It couldn't be because it would offend or affect the vast majority of them could it? No. It couldn't be that. They wouldn't want to shame or hurt a HUGE group of people would they? No, that would be cruel and wrong. I’m really not condemning people that divorce, I’m just trying to understand why it’s just the gay thing that gets all the airtime. I mean, it just seems they want to use the Bible to attack gay people, but want to ignore things in the Bible that might affect them in some negative way.
What if people that divorced and remarried had to hear, in some way or another, everyday of their life, how 'sick', 'immoral', 'unnatural', 'sinful', 'anti-family', etc., etc. they were? What if, when someone divorced, their parents and family cast them aside and condemned them daily for divorcing or remarrying? There would be many sad, hurt families in this world. Wouldn’t that be horrible if people did that to each other? I’m thinking after awhile they would get really sick of people telling them how awful they were, and some might even begin to think that “hmm… maybe I AM an awful, horrible person.” If a child grows up and hears that everyday from that child’s parents, I would think some people would even consider that verbal or mental abuse. I looked up the definition of abuse. It fits.
If only I wouldn’t have decided to be gay. Yes, the day I CHOSE to be gay. It was…well…it was…actually…wow, you know I don’t recall EVER choosing to be gay. But ‘they’ tell me it was a choice. And by ‘they’ I mean straight people, actually, I mean the supposedly ‘pro-family’ straight people that are all knowing, as well as my five times married, five times divorced mother. Now that I think about it, I don’t know a single gay person, or know of anyone who knows a gay person that actually CHOSE to be gay. Nope, not a single one. I’d even be willing to bet that if someone were to take a poll of a large group of gay people, or even do a scientific study, somewhere around 95%-99% would say they didn’t choose to be gay, and I’d think that they would know, since they are, in fact, gay. Apparently, only heterosexual, ‘pro-family’, use-the-Bible-as-long-as-it-doesn’t-affect-them people know that gay people choose to be gay. Maybe it was all that sexual abuse I suffered as a child, (they say that makes people gay too you know) well…except that I wasn’t sexually abused. It must have been the absence of a father, or father figure, (they use that one too)…except I had my father as well as other father figures…
No, I don’t remember EVER choosing to be gay. I do, however, remember the days when I was 14, 15, 16 years old and I knew that I had these feelings for males, but not females like the other guys. I do remember hearing certain family members say that gay people were ‘sick sick sick’. Those words still echo in my head. I do remember praying to God to fix me, to make me ‘normal’, to make me have the same feelings as the other guys. I do remember praying to God, as a teenager, that I would not wake up the next morning. I actually prayed that I would die in my sleep. I do remember being told that gay people are all pedophiles. That gay people will want to marry animals, relatives, and multiple people even though neither I, nor anyone I know is for any of those things. I do remember being told that my ‘choice’ would be hard to accept, but “never tolerated”. Those words too echo in my head. I prayed to God that I would not wake up the next morning. I do remember hearing that gay people are more susceptible to depression and low self-esteem. I cannot, for the life of me imagine why though (sarcasm). People that grow up verbally or mentally abused tend to suffer from depression and low self-esteem too. I do remember only wanting to date girls that I knew I could not have for whatever reason. It was convenient to only want to date the girls I couldn’t have. I do remember trying to be ‘normal’ and trying to fit in. I do remember the whole “I wish I could find the right girl” thing, even though I wasn’t looking at all. I do remember the convenient excuses I would come up with when somebody tried to fix me up. I do remember feeling as if I was just a sick, despicable person. That is what I was told after all. I do remember finally coming to the conclusion that I did have a choice. I could choose to find a girl, get married, have kids, live a lie, and be ultimately, unhappy. Or, I could choose to just spend the rest of my life alone, and be ultimately, unhappy. Or, I could finally come to the realization that I am a gay American and there is nothing wrong with me. Perhaps it is the people that spend their time trying to tell gay people that they are wrong and sick and sinful and awful that should take a long, hard look in the mirror and see where the real problem lies. But, no, I don’t ever remember saying to myself, “Self. I’m going to be gay from now on”, nope, I don’t remember that at all.
I hear from those in the know, i.e. Focus on the Family, Concerned Women for America, American Family Association, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Dr. Laura and others that must be far morally superior than myself, that I am ‘anti-family’, ‘anti-God’, ‘anti-Christianity’, ‘anti-religious’, ‘anti-morals’. I hear that from people that know nothing about me. I hear that from people that I’ve never done anything hurtful to. It hurts to a degree I could never express or explain. I am none of those things. I love my family even though many of them ignore most of my life and happiness and are content to pretend that half of my life is non-existent, and that somehow my life is less significant than theirs is because it’s not just like theirs. I have a 14-year-old son that doesn’t know either. He is an awesome kid, lives in another state with his mom, step-dad and other siblings and we get to spend time together in the summer and the holidays, but because of the reaction I got from some of my family, I am now terrified as to what his family would do. I don’t get to see him enough as it is and I don’t know what I would do if they didn’t let me see him ever. I would not lie if he asked, but because of the crap I’ve endured from others, I’m not willing to volunteer the information until he is at the legal age to make his own decisions. It’s a shame that I’m not able to let him come and stay with me and my partner in our loving, stable home. It’s a shame that it is an issue at all. But due to other people’s attitudes and misguided perceptions that’s where I’m left. So, I guess one can only be ‘pro-family’ so long as their family is exactly like everyone else’s.
Ever stop to think that virtually every problem that results in people fighting is because so many people are worried about what everyone else is doing, rather than looking in the mirror and focusing on one’s self and own family?
It's an election year. Lately one can always tell it’s getting close to an election when the whole supposedly 'pro-family' groups start with attacking gay people again and the president and those that tell him what to do start with the gay marriage ban again. So, here we go again…
Yesterday I heard of 7 members of an Indianapolis family getting murdered, more and more children are doing without healthcare, Americans as well as Iraqis (including children) are dying everyday in Iraq (regardless of the reasons, or what should be done about it, people are dying daily). Gas is 3 bucks a gallon (I drive for work, most of my pay goes right back into my gas tank, making it hardly worth it to work). The gas companies are raking in record profits and bragging about it. Housing is getting so expensive that people can't afford to buy a house in the major cities, where a lot of the good jobs are. Americans are killing Americans daily. Children are starving in America. Daily. Children are abused and neglected. In America. Daily. There are still people left homeless from Katrina. Here in America. I could go on and on and on and on.
With all these things happening, what has become this government’s priority? The gay marriage amendment (old faithful) to try, once again, to get the vote of the supposedly 'pro-family' crowd. Isn't this getting old? Serial murderers and child molesters spending the rest of their lives in prison can get married, but two consenting, tax-paying, law-abiding adults of the same sex can’t get married or have anything at all like it? Now, I'm not sure when it happened, but apparently gay people are anti-family, which is funny, because EVERY single gay person I know actually came from and HAS a family. As best as I can tell, the biggest threat to marriage thus far has come from heterosexual marriage. Why do they never mention banning divorce and RE-marriage, because, after all, according to the Bible that they want to quote when it comes to gay people, Jesus said (more than one time) that anyone that divorces and remarries, or marries someone that has been divorced (look it up) is committing ADULTERY. Adultery! One of the Ten Commandments. Thou shall not commit adultery. And I can't seem to find the 'Thou shall not be gay' commandment. Actually, I can’t find a single place in the Bible where Jesus says anything about gay people. It must be somewhere. I just can't find it. I wonder why the supposedly 'pro-family' crowd doesn't want to ban divorce or remarriage. Not that I think they should, nor would I consider remarriage adultery, but why is it just the gay people they attack? It couldn't be because it would offend or affect the vast majority of them could it? No. It couldn't be that. They wouldn't want to shame or hurt a HUGE group of people would they? No, that would be cruel and wrong. I’m really not condemning people that divorce, I’m just trying to understand why it’s just the gay thing that gets all the airtime. I mean, it just seems they want to use the Bible to attack gay people, but want to ignore things in the Bible that might affect them in some negative way.
What if people that divorced and remarried had to hear, in some way or another, everyday of their life, how 'sick', 'immoral', 'unnatural', 'sinful', 'anti-family', etc., etc. they were? What if, when someone divorced, their parents and family cast them aside and condemned them daily for divorcing or remarrying? There would be many sad, hurt families in this world. Wouldn’t that be horrible if people did that to each other? I’m thinking after awhile they would get really sick of people telling them how awful they were, and some might even begin to think that “hmm… maybe I AM an awful, horrible person.” If a child grows up and hears that everyday from that child’s parents, I would think some people would even consider that verbal or mental abuse. I looked up the definition of abuse. It fits.
If only I wouldn’t have decided to be gay. Yes, the day I CHOSE to be gay. It was…well…it was…actually…wow, you know I don’t recall EVER choosing to be gay. But ‘they’ tell me it was a choice. And by ‘they’ I mean straight people, actually, I mean the supposedly ‘pro-family’ straight people that are all knowing, as well as my five times married, five times divorced mother. Now that I think about it, I don’t know a single gay person, or know of anyone who knows a gay person that actually CHOSE to be gay. Nope, not a single one. I’d even be willing to bet that if someone were to take a poll of a large group of gay people, or even do a scientific study, somewhere around 95%-99% would say they didn’t choose to be gay, and I’d think that they would know, since they are, in fact, gay. Apparently, only heterosexual, ‘pro-family’, use-the-Bible-as-long-as-it-doesn’t-affect-them people know that gay people choose to be gay. Maybe it was all that sexual abuse I suffered as a child, (they say that makes people gay too you know) well…except that I wasn’t sexually abused. It must have been the absence of a father, or father figure, (they use that one too)…except I had my father as well as other father figures…
No, I don’t remember EVER choosing to be gay. I do, however, remember the days when I was 14, 15, 16 years old and I knew that I had these feelings for males, but not females like the other guys. I do remember hearing certain family members say that gay people were ‘sick sick sick’. Those words still echo in my head. I do remember praying to God to fix me, to make me ‘normal’, to make me have the same feelings as the other guys. I do remember praying to God, as a teenager, that I would not wake up the next morning. I actually prayed that I would die in my sleep. I do remember being told that gay people are all pedophiles. That gay people will want to marry animals, relatives, and multiple people even though neither I, nor anyone I know is for any of those things. I do remember being told that my ‘choice’ would be hard to accept, but “never tolerated”. Those words too echo in my head. I prayed to God that I would not wake up the next morning. I do remember hearing that gay people are more susceptible to depression and low self-esteem. I cannot, for the life of me imagine why though (sarcasm). People that grow up verbally or mentally abused tend to suffer from depression and low self-esteem too. I do remember only wanting to date girls that I knew I could not have for whatever reason. It was convenient to only want to date the girls I couldn’t have. I do remember trying to be ‘normal’ and trying to fit in. I do remember the whole “I wish I could find the right girl” thing, even though I wasn’t looking at all. I do remember the convenient excuses I would come up with when somebody tried to fix me up. I do remember feeling as if I was just a sick, despicable person. That is what I was told after all. I do remember finally coming to the conclusion that I did have a choice. I could choose to find a girl, get married, have kids, live a lie, and be ultimately, unhappy. Or, I could choose to just spend the rest of my life alone, and be ultimately, unhappy. Or, I could finally come to the realization that I am a gay American and there is nothing wrong with me. Perhaps it is the people that spend their time trying to tell gay people that they are wrong and sick and sinful and awful that should take a long, hard look in the mirror and see where the real problem lies. But, no, I don’t ever remember saying to myself, “Self. I’m going to be gay from now on”, nope, I don’t remember that at all.
I hear from those in the know, i.e. Focus on the Family, Concerned Women for America, American Family Association, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Dr. Laura and others that must be far morally superior than myself, that I am ‘anti-family’, ‘anti-God’, ‘anti-Christianity’, ‘anti-religious’, ‘anti-morals’. I hear that from people that know nothing about me. I hear that from people that I’ve never done anything hurtful to. It hurts to a degree I could never express or explain. I am none of those things. I love my family even though many of them ignore most of my life and happiness and are content to pretend that half of my life is non-existent, and that somehow my life is less significant than theirs is because it’s not just like theirs. I have a 14-year-old son that doesn’t know either. He is an awesome kid, lives in another state with his mom, step-dad and other siblings and we get to spend time together in the summer and the holidays, but because of the reaction I got from some of my family, I am now terrified as to what his family would do. I don’t get to see him enough as it is and I don’t know what I would do if they didn’t let me see him ever. I would not lie if he asked, but because of the crap I’ve endured from others, I’m not willing to volunteer the information until he is at the legal age to make his own decisions. It’s a shame that I’m not able to let him come and stay with me and my partner in our loving, stable home. It’s a shame that it is an issue at all. But due to other people’s attitudes and misguided perceptions that’s where I’m left. So, I guess one can only be ‘pro-family’ so long as their family is exactly like everyone else’s.
Ever stop to think that virtually every problem that results in people fighting is because so many people are worried about what everyone else is doing, rather than looking in the mirror and focusing on one’s self and own family?