(no subject)
Well right about now i fuckin hate life more than i think is possible. I am so like severely depressed and cant stop crying and its all so ridiculous. For some reason ive been having dreams about my ex dan for the past couple nites. Then today it all just like hit me and i miss him so much. Im making myself physically sick becuase im crying so much. But i cant stop. If i lose my concentration for even a second, and start to day dream, i think of him. Memories we shared....things we did togethe....how he made me feel. And then the tears start and dont stop. I know this probably sounds ridiculous bc im only goin on 19, but i really thought that he was the one. Ive never loved someone in my life so much like i did him. I cant even describe how good we were together. Everything just fuckin sucks right now. And i have to see him this weekend cuz im goin home to work, and that makes it worse. GOd i feel sooo freakin dumb right now. I know im being stupid. All i do is like hope and pray that he calls me and tells me how much he misses me and wants to start over. Whats wrong with me? Like i obviously have a problem. Its been over for like 5 months and im still being like this. And like, ive been with a couple people since him, not that really lasted or were worth anything, and even with them all ithink about is him. I need to go. Im being so retarted and im making myself even more sick talking about this. I need to throw up. I need to make myself throw up. I need this pain to go away...