i havent updated in awhile
but here goes lately i justc ant seem to shake the feeling of im not where im supposed to be ...although i dont know where im suppsoed to be which makes it hard to eb there ...confusion at its most confused state....i read letters from a happier time ...they were from my ex ... i wonder still what happened ...id post pics but i dont know how cuz im a fuckin moron ...oh fucking well ...everyone says im depressed but im not depressed ....im just a realist....noone will fucking read this ...so does it matter what i say here?...nope ...hell i dont even read them...i just write them... i hate people i hate myself i hate life ...where does this hate come from?...im gonna say lack of love ...for myself of myself ...everyone says they care ...well not everyone ...a few people ...but yet noone really knows me that well ...not enough to care like they say they do...does that make them liars to themselves or liars to me ....or do they actually believe in it as truth?...my amazing lack of love life ...gotta love it ...i hate bein ugly ..inside and out...noone that knows me says different ....at least not when theyre sober....i should sleep i have t o get up to work in 5 hours or less...ill just be a zombie tomorrow again like i was today ...however i do get paid twice this week =] not much but hopefully enough to get my amp out of layaway and put some gas in my car...thats running like shit ....according to my grandma im the neighborhoods alarm clock cuz they can all hea r me driving away...wish people would email me every once in awhile ..but that doesnt happen very often...i was sujpposed to be rich and famous by now ...but i suck and its not gonna happen .... although i hope it does...people are pissing me off ...they complain they wanna go to sleep but they dont wanna get up ....my one good point if i wanna do something im usually doing it ...if at all possible... i agree theres some days i dont wanna do anything so i dont ...but i rarely ever say i wanna go to sleep but id have to get up and mvoe ...fuckin lazy ass people ......why am i so angry with everyone and everything? ...ill never know