Scenery Changes
Leaving New York was more emotional than I was expecting. I have been looking forward to returning home because I miss it terribly, yet there was a sadness about leaving America. There are moments in life that are paramount, ones that grab onto you firmly, giving you this feeling in the pit of your gut that somehow everything is going to change. That is what it was like when I walked up the steps to Rufus' flat weeks ago. He opened the door, and the tidal wave of emotion usurped me. Yes, things would be different. Things are different. And every day I close my eyes and thank the stars above that I was given this chance.
I suppose it all sounds very corny. And honestly, I am the last person to care if it does. Material objects are not important; I could not give a shit about fame. What matters in this life are the people we surround ourselves with, the people we interact with daily that touch and change our lives. Our family, our friends, our lovers. These are the people that matter. They are what makes life worth living. Sure, there are obstacles that often stand in the way: fights, disagreements, betrayals, lies. Although, after all of these things, it is the people who are still beside you, offering arms when you need to be held, offering words of advice or encouragement when you need to hear them.
Thursday night was spent packing. I am leaving with the single bag I arrived with. After much difficulty and debate, Rufus was able to manage to fit his belongings for his stay in London into three suitcases. This took some coercion and reasoning on my part. If I was not there, he would have very likely gotten on the plane with at least six bags. We shared tears and tender words. He is rather afraid of returning to Kouvola. It will not happen immediately. We will spend the weekend together in London before I return home to Kouvola by myself Monday evening. I understand perfectly the reasons behind his worry. All I know how to do is comfort him and show him that it is possible to escape black clouds, that if you are patient, sun will eventually shine through.
We are moving on to a new phase in our relationship. I still have no idea what the future brings, yet I am always hopeful. I am not sure where this optimism has come. I have changed so much, beginning to find strength and joy within myself that I never knew was there. Everything is going to be alright, I can face each day, I can do this. It has been one of the greatest growing experiences of my life. Miraculous things can come out of bad situations. I am happy that they have.
-Juska-
I suppose it all sounds very corny. And honestly, I am the last person to care if it does. Material objects are not important; I could not give a shit about fame. What matters in this life are the people we surround ourselves with, the people we interact with daily that touch and change our lives. Our family, our friends, our lovers. These are the people that matter. They are what makes life worth living. Sure, there are obstacles that often stand in the way: fights, disagreements, betrayals, lies. Although, after all of these things, it is the people who are still beside you, offering arms when you need to be held, offering words of advice or encouragement when you need to hear them.
Thursday night was spent packing. I am leaving with the single bag I arrived with. After much difficulty and debate, Rufus was able to manage to fit his belongings for his stay in London into three suitcases. This took some coercion and reasoning on my part. If I was not there, he would have very likely gotten on the plane with at least six bags. We shared tears and tender words. He is rather afraid of returning to Kouvola. It will not happen immediately. We will spend the weekend together in London before I return home to Kouvola by myself Monday evening. I understand perfectly the reasons behind his worry. All I know how to do is comfort him and show him that it is possible to escape black clouds, that if you are patient, sun will eventually shine through.
We are moving on to a new phase in our relationship. I still have no idea what the future brings, yet I am always hopeful. I am not sure where this optimism has come. I have changed so much, beginning to find strength and joy within myself that I never knew was there. Everything is going to be alright, I can face each day, I can do this. It has been one of the greatest growing experiences of my life. Miraculous things can come out of bad situations. I am happy that they have.
-Juska-