the.first.and.last.all.rolled.into.one
the worse way to miss someone is have them standing right there next to you ... i miss him so damn much. this little heart is almost ready to give up. no, it'll never give up, but she hurts.
today is just another day, the last day of the year, and the first day of the year all in one night. how i wish he could be here to know how important that is to me right now. its merely important in one fashion, i cant sit idle anymore. i've tried and i've tried, but its just not working for me. so now i have to try something else. it wont destroy me, cuz we wont let it. but a part of me needs to know, it needs to.
the pic was a memory emblazen in my mind. the night of the first i.love.you a long long time ago. "he might not know what hes talking about, he doesnt love her. but i love you" with a mighty squeeze and a kiss on the forehead. that was also a night of many tears. a)i'm drinking a miller lite (EWWWWWW) b)i locked myself in my room, and minkus broke in and held me, telling me he hated to see me cry. so i pretended to stop and staged a get-away. my 20 year old self, snuck out of my college apartment. i sat on the steps outside, looking at the black black sky. i cried, i wished, i hoped, why was i so upset/? i was lonely and i missed him. and he was right there next to me. for a good long while.
things got worse, and they got better. people changed and time went on...friendships grew and things happened...only to add a few more cracks to my lil heart.
now it is today. and last year all in one. my birthday he was there both years. how much that meant to me. even my supposedly non-boyfriend.bestfriend wasnt there for me last year, and only 10 minutes this year. like i said, time goes on and people change (i.miss.him.too) but ike was there. my butthead
so back to the moral of today being signif (yes i said it linkge signif. ha) the last day of the year and the first one all in one night. important for one reason and one reason alone.
i want him to be the last boy i kiss this year (he is) and i want him to be the first boy i kiss this year (hopefully he will be) but unfortunatly not until i see him next .. i want him to be the last person i see this year..and the first person i see when i wake up... happy.new.year.everyone
Toni.Rose
today is just another day, the last day of the year, and the first day of the year all in one night. how i wish he could be here to know how important that is to me right now. its merely important in one fashion, i cant sit idle anymore. i've tried and i've tried, but its just not working for me. so now i have to try something else. it wont destroy me, cuz we wont let it. but a part of me needs to know, it needs to.
the pic was a memory emblazen in my mind. the night of the first i.love.you a long long time ago. "he might not know what hes talking about, he doesnt love her. but i love you" with a mighty squeeze and a kiss on the forehead. that was also a night of many tears. a)i'm drinking a miller lite (EWWWWWW) b)i locked myself in my room, and minkus broke in and held me, telling me he hated to see me cry. so i pretended to stop and staged a get-away. my 20 year old self, snuck out of my college apartment. i sat on the steps outside, looking at the black black sky. i cried, i wished, i hoped, why was i so upset/? i was lonely and i missed him. and he was right there next to me. for a good long while.
things got worse, and they got better. people changed and time went on...friendships grew and things happened...only to add a few more cracks to my lil heart.
now it is today. and last year all in one. my birthday he was there both years. how much that meant to me. even my supposedly non-boyfriend.bestfriend wasnt there for me last year, and only 10 minutes this year. like i said, time goes on and people change (i.miss.him.too) but ike was there. my butthead
so back to the moral of today being signif (yes i said it linkge signif. ha) the last day of the year and the first one all in one night. important for one reason and one reason alone.
i want him to be the last boy i kiss this year (he is) and i want him to be the first boy i kiss this year (hopefully he will be) but unfortunatly not until i see him next .. i want him to be the last person i see this year..and the first person i see when i wake up... happy.new.year.everyone
Toni.Rose