Near near miss
A collision is a "near miss": BOOM! "Ohhhh... they nearly missed."
-George Carlin
0743, US-29S: The road is four lanes wide here. The leftmost lane is for turning left. I am in the second lane because I don't want to be behind someone turning left. Someone ten cars up decides to turn left from my lane. He fails to check his blind spot, has a near collision with the driver zipping along in the left lane, and slams to a stop, frozen by the realization that he almost got blind-sided by a car doing 50+ mph. Like a deer, he has chosen the worst place in the world to stop: the middle of the road. Every car behind him jams into panic-brake mode. I notice this happening way too late. I am going to crash.
...
...
There is a chirping of tires while my car leans SO HARD RIGHT and then another squeak as it leans SO HARD LEFT again. I realize I have swerved to avoid a crash about the time I pass the third car in the line.
I think of three things:
(1) I see my wife jostling the Gamecube controller, throwing sparks up from the Mario Kart tires. My cornering skills are enhanced because every time I win a race, she kisses me. I play Mario Kart very well now.
(2) My dad, who taught me how to drive before I ever took drivers' ed. In my head, he has replaced my drivers' ed teacher in the day I was taught to swerve hard to avoid an obstacle. A piece of bubblegum flies out of the mouth of the girl I have a crush on, and lands in my lap due to G-forces from the swerving.
(3) Inexplicably, I imagine CZ driving the hellish roads of Northern Virginia in his Porsche, and I wonder how often he is forced to do this maneuver.
-George Carlin
0743, US-29S: The road is four lanes wide here. The leftmost lane is for turning left. I am in the second lane because I don't want to be behind someone turning left. Someone ten cars up decides to turn left from my lane. He fails to check his blind spot, has a near collision with the driver zipping along in the left lane, and slams to a stop, frozen by the realization that he almost got blind-sided by a car doing 50+ mph. Like a deer, he has chosen the worst place in the world to stop: the middle of the road. Every car behind him jams into panic-brake mode. I notice this happening way too late. I am going to crash.
...
...
There is a chirping of tires while my car leans SO HARD RIGHT and then another squeak as it leans SO HARD LEFT again. I realize I have swerved to avoid a crash about the time I pass the third car in the line.
I think of three things:
(1) I see my wife jostling the Gamecube controller, throwing sparks up from the Mario Kart tires. My cornering skills are enhanced because every time I win a race, she kisses me. I play Mario Kart very well now.
(2) My dad, who taught me how to drive before I ever took drivers' ed. In my head, he has replaced my drivers' ed teacher in the day I was taught to swerve hard to avoid an obstacle. A piece of bubblegum flies out of the mouth of the girl I have a crush on, and lands in my lap due to G-forces from the swerving.
(3) Inexplicably, I imagine CZ driving the hellish roads of Northern Virginia in his Porsche, and I wonder how often he is forced to do this maneuver.