It is sad.
Its sad when you are the only one without an away message.
AIM is a lonely place.
So to give myself purpose I turn here to the good old livejournal where I will address an issue I've had for quite some time here in LoveJoy 320.
We'll start from the beginning:
Upon moving into my dorm I made a startling discovery, my floor was over 75% female. Unfortunately, 75% of our bathroom space was not dedicated to them. In fact, even though only eleven or twelve guys lived on the floor (compared to the forty or so girls) our domain was still the bigger bathroom. This resulted in problems for the females, for example, having to wait in line for the shower and an overabundance of follicular loss that resulted in shower drain clogging. Of course, this dilemma had to be remedied. So the femmes gathered and came up with the idea that the mens bathroom, MY bathroom, should be co-ed. The situation at hand and the possible solution were presented at our first hall meeting and I responded with apathy, mild interest at best. I thought to myself, "Hmm, whatever, I guess this could be interesting/progressive/etc." So, when the vote was taken at that gathering of LJ3 residents on whether or not to modify our elimination room membership status, I voiced no opposition. The bill passed, the ladies were satisfied with the right to come and go as they pleased in the men's bathroom.
At first the girls were apprehensive, so much so that they put up a sign on the bathroom door seeking the mens' approval, again (because our lack of disapproval the first time wasn't sincere enough). The note requested that we put a check in a "yes" or "no" column if we were/weren't okay with them using our bathroom. It even went so far as to suggest a knocking system, where girls would vow to announce their arrival by pounding on the door. I guess that was fine, offering a chance for us guys to regain a little privacy and to stop the whole process in general. But the boxes remained unchecked, nobody opposed.
So timidly, the girls started using the bathroom. It started out as a one by one process, but as time went on they became more aggressive. It started with late night rest stops to brush their teeth and wash their faces. Then early morning showers. And slowly but surely their bathroom usage hours crept into the midday range. But, the worst part, the very reason for this expose, was their purpose. What they started coming to the bathroom to use: the stalls.
And this is where my problem lies. You see, I can get over the fact that there is never one girl at the sink, but groups of three or four, chattering away, apparently unable to carry out nighttime rituals singularly. I can get over the masses of hair in the sink and shower drain that would seem to a less educated individual the remnants of a person suffering the horrible effects of premature balding. I can even get over the fact that I am constantly at risk of potential lawsuits should I look cross-eyed at a young lady in her bathrobe. What I can't get over though is the stall usage. That is where my line is drawn.
Let me explain why stall usage by women vexes me so. It is quite simply because women, are perfect. Their bodies are temples, beautiful forms frequenting art and literature. This has been my view for as long as I can remember. And as far as I am (was) concerned, food goes in a girls mouth, and what happens after that is magic. But, under no circumstances should there ever be expulsive forces from a female, especially not audible ones. And if there are, I just don't want to hear them, I don't even want to know about them! I'd rather live in ignorance, rewrite the anatomy books, cut out my eyes and stuff my ears with cotton than admit to myself that anything other than this conclusion could be true. Unfortunately, I am not deaf, and these sorts forces do exist in the world. Its frightening. It makes me uncomfortable. I wish it would stop.
Now none of this is meant to be crude, or mean. I love women. And In the long run I don't mind sharing the bathroom with them. It makes me feel sophisticated and mature that all of us can get along as we do despite gender stereotypes. And under normal circumstances I respect the equality of men and women and the ability of both sexes to occupy ever single facet of daily life. Basically what I'm getting at is the fact that I write this just to poke fun at the oddness of female bathroom rituals, and help alleviate the uncomfortable feeling I get when a girl occupies the stall next to me. If I've offended, chalk up up to the fact that I'm busting balls (or ovaries I guess), and its 4:52AM. If you still feel bad after that little bit of fine print, feel free to leave a comment, or talk to me in person about it.
Cool, I think we are all on the same page now, the same page of Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi that is.
Enjoy,
Chris
AIM is a lonely place.
So to give myself purpose I turn here to the good old livejournal where I will address an issue I've had for quite some time here in LoveJoy 320.
We'll start from the beginning:
Upon moving into my dorm I made a startling discovery, my floor was over 75% female. Unfortunately, 75% of our bathroom space was not dedicated to them. In fact, even though only eleven or twelve guys lived on the floor (compared to the forty or so girls) our domain was still the bigger bathroom. This resulted in problems for the females, for example, having to wait in line for the shower and an overabundance of follicular loss that resulted in shower drain clogging. Of course, this dilemma had to be remedied. So the femmes gathered and came up with the idea that the mens bathroom, MY bathroom, should be co-ed. The situation at hand and the possible solution were presented at our first hall meeting and I responded with apathy, mild interest at best. I thought to myself, "Hmm, whatever, I guess this could be interesting/progressive/etc." So, when the vote was taken at that gathering of LJ3 residents on whether or not to modify our elimination room membership status, I voiced no opposition. The bill passed, the ladies were satisfied with the right to come and go as they pleased in the men's bathroom.
At first the girls were apprehensive, so much so that they put up a sign on the bathroom door seeking the mens' approval, again (because our lack of disapproval the first time wasn't sincere enough). The note requested that we put a check in a "yes" or "no" column if we were/weren't okay with them using our bathroom. It even went so far as to suggest a knocking system, where girls would vow to announce their arrival by pounding on the door. I guess that was fine, offering a chance for us guys to regain a little privacy and to stop the whole process in general. But the boxes remained unchecked, nobody opposed.
So timidly, the girls started using the bathroom. It started out as a one by one process, but as time went on they became more aggressive. It started with late night rest stops to brush their teeth and wash their faces. Then early morning showers. And slowly but surely their bathroom usage hours crept into the midday range. But, the worst part, the very reason for this expose, was their purpose. What they started coming to the bathroom to use: the stalls.
And this is where my problem lies. You see, I can get over the fact that there is never one girl at the sink, but groups of three or four, chattering away, apparently unable to carry out nighttime rituals singularly. I can get over the masses of hair in the sink and shower drain that would seem to a less educated individual the remnants of a person suffering the horrible effects of premature balding. I can even get over the fact that I am constantly at risk of potential lawsuits should I look cross-eyed at a young lady in her bathrobe. What I can't get over though is the stall usage. That is where my line is drawn.
Let me explain why stall usage by women vexes me so. It is quite simply because women, are perfect. Their bodies are temples, beautiful forms frequenting art and literature. This has been my view for as long as I can remember. And as far as I am (was) concerned, food goes in a girls mouth, and what happens after that is magic. But, under no circumstances should there ever be expulsive forces from a female, especially not audible ones. And if there are, I just don't want to hear them, I don't even want to know about them! I'd rather live in ignorance, rewrite the anatomy books, cut out my eyes and stuff my ears with cotton than admit to myself that anything other than this conclusion could be true. Unfortunately, I am not deaf, and these sorts forces do exist in the world. Its frightening. It makes me uncomfortable. I wish it would stop.
Now none of this is meant to be crude, or mean. I love women. And In the long run I don't mind sharing the bathroom with them. It makes me feel sophisticated and mature that all of us can get along as we do despite gender stereotypes. And under normal circumstances I respect the equality of men and women and the ability of both sexes to occupy ever single facet of daily life. Basically what I'm getting at is the fact that I write this just to poke fun at the oddness of female bathroom rituals, and help alleviate the uncomfortable feeling I get when a girl occupies the stall next to me. If I've offended, chalk up up to the fact that I'm busting balls (or ovaries I guess), and its 4:52AM. If you still feel bad after that little bit of fine print, feel free to leave a comment, or talk to me in person about it.
Cool, I think we are all on the same page now, the same page of Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi that is.
Enjoy,
Chris