John’s sacrifice in “In My Time Of Dying”
I just had an epiphany. About “In My Time Of Dying”. And John and Dean.
See, I could never understand where John sacrificing himself for Dean came from. Given what we had been told so far about their relationship, I’d felt that Dean put John on this pedestal of love and worship. John however barely seemed to acknowledge Dean, unless he scolded him for some kind of supposed wrong that Dean had done.
And this has been very much reinforced even in later seasons - especially in “Bad Boys”. So why the sudden about-turn in “In My Time Of Dying”?
And then it hit me (and you don’t have to agree - even if I think my point is very convincing, it’s still, basically, head-canon):
It was the extra super special Dean-mojo at work again. You know, the one that makes people overcome demon or archangel possession or angel mind-control.
Remember when Ghost!Dean first encounters Sam in the episode? He asks him to “Go find some hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on me.” And in the next scene, Sam tells John, “I’ll find some hoodoo priest and lay some mojo on him.”
BAM! Dean-mojo!
Now, in my opinion, John’s original plan was to get the colt, summon the demon right there in the hospital and get rid of him once and for all. He had the list of ingredients all made up and ready for Sam when he sent him to Bobby’s.
THEN Ghost!Dean lays into him - and it’s interesting how Ghost!Dean talks to John completely without any filters, no game-face, no mask, no nothing, just plain and straight-up honesty. In an intense way that normal!Dean would have never used with his dad:
Come on, Dad. You’ve gotta help me. I’ve gotta get better, I’ve gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven’t called a soul for help. You haven’t even tried. Aren’t you going to do anything? Aren’t you even going to say anything? I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I’ve ever had. And you’re just going to sit there and you’re going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?
John just has this far-away look about him in this scene, almost as if something is getting inside his thoughts… BAM! Dean-mojo! (albeit not as in-your-face as the first instance…)
Then later, when Sam confronts John about summoning the demon, and they start yelling at each other about how revenge isn’t going to help Dean, and how Sam was supposed to be all for revenge because the demon killed Mom and Jess, ghost!Dean gets so upset that he knocks over a glass of water. BAM! Dean-mojo!
And I think this is the moment when John actually changes his original plan from using the colt for killing the demon to using the colt to bargain for Dean’s life. Because of the Dean-mojo.
Actually agreeing to “sweeten the pot” with his own life rather than just exchanging the colt for Dean’s life is only that one step further. I think after having Dean (unknowingly) work his mojo on John made it impossible for John NOT to sacrifice himself.
And this is how, nine seasons later, John’s sacrifice finally makes sense to me.