(no subject)
Although I had thought about it when we first started seeing each other, I have realized in the last two days, that it definitely makes me nervous that Scott had broke up and gotten back together with his ex twice over the last 7 years. Also, it doesn't help that he had people he dated in between as well.
On Sunday, he was drunk and started bringing up some things that made me nervous, but at the same time, should have comforted me, but of course, I am focusing on all the bad things.
bad: He told me he thinks of her once in a while, and comes home to an empty apartment and wonders what went wrong.
Good: When I asked if he thinks about it because he wants a relationship with her again, or if he thinks about it because he wants to know what he does wrong, to help in future relationships with other people, he said he wants to know what not to do in OUR relationship.
Good: He reassured me that he loves me and things are over with her, repeatedly.
Bad: He dated someone the last time they broke up, that freaked out so much when he played this one song about old relationships, that it ended theirs, and he got back together with Jill. He also said he used to play it on purpose to piss her off.
Good: After trying to play it for me, he put down his guitar and told me he'd never play it again.
Good: He said things are different with me than anyone else he's dated besides her, and when I asked him if he'd ever said that before, he said no.
Bad: He ran into his ex's old roomate and she told him that his ex was a miserable mess this time. he was happy about that.
Good: he told her he was really happy-he was with me at the time.
Ok, so not so many bad things, but that's what I seem to be focusing on. I don't really know what it's like to be in such a long term relationship. It just makes me a little nervous, because he never talked about her like that before, except to tell me that things were over for good. He happened to mention something about her on Monday, but sometimes things just naturally come up about ex's, and he asked me if it freaked me out, and I told him our previous conversation did, and he told me he only said that stuff because he was drunk.
I don't know what to think. I am so in love with him, and I don't want to put up that wall taht I do with everyone. I want him to have my heart, and not have to worry about it getting broken. Like I said, it just has me a little freaked out lately, and little things like him not coming over last night because he was tired, or him not calling me yet today totally eat away at me.
On Sunday, he was drunk and started bringing up some things that made me nervous, but at the same time, should have comforted me, but of course, I am focusing on all the bad things.
bad: He told me he thinks of her once in a while, and comes home to an empty apartment and wonders what went wrong.
Good: When I asked if he thinks about it because he wants a relationship with her again, or if he thinks about it because he wants to know what he does wrong, to help in future relationships with other people, he said he wants to know what not to do in OUR relationship.
Good: He reassured me that he loves me and things are over with her, repeatedly.
Bad: He dated someone the last time they broke up, that freaked out so much when he played this one song about old relationships, that it ended theirs, and he got back together with Jill. He also said he used to play it on purpose to piss her off.
Good: After trying to play it for me, he put down his guitar and told me he'd never play it again.
Good: He said things are different with me than anyone else he's dated besides her, and when I asked him if he'd ever said that before, he said no.
Bad: He ran into his ex's old roomate and she told him that his ex was a miserable mess this time. he was happy about that.
Good: he told her he was really happy-he was with me at the time.
Ok, so not so many bad things, but that's what I seem to be focusing on. I don't really know what it's like to be in such a long term relationship. It just makes me a little nervous, because he never talked about her like that before, except to tell me that things were over for good. He happened to mention something about her on Monday, but sometimes things just naturally come up about ex's, and he asked me if it freaked me out, and I told him our previous conversation did, and he told me he only said that stuff because he was drunk.
I don't know what to think. I am so in love with him, and I don't want to put up that wall taht I do with everyone. I want him to have my heart, and not have to worry about it getting broken. Like I said, it just has me a little freaked out lately, and little things like him not coming over last night because he was tired, or him not calling me yet today totally eat away at me.