good intentions
Pairing(s): Himchan/Daehyun (B.A.P)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2K+
Summary: Daehyun is sick of Himchan's harsh treatment towards him (+ other stuff)
A/N: This was originally posted on Asianfanfics and really isn't the greatest literature made by me, but oh well.
Midnight was always Himchan’s favourite part of the day. The silence of the dorms as everyone sleeps calmly through the night. The slight rustling of bushes outside complemented the dead silence of the dorms in a way in which Himchan could never describe.
Getting up from his bunk, he quietly walked towards the corner of the room to grab a chair. He placed the chair just diagonal of Daehyun’s bunk. Watching Daehyun was his daily night routine. He knew how creepy it was to watch over another member in the night, but there was something about Daehyun sleeping that made Himchan feel at peace; even if he didn’t treat the younger one that well during the day.
~*~*~
Earlier that day
“Hyung, you fell asleep on that damn chair again,” Daehyun said, shaking the elder to wake him up from his long slumber. Daehyun could never really understand why Himchan slept on that chair. He doesn’t even know why the chair was in the room in the first place. He’s always hidden it from Himchan a thousand times, but it always seems to come back every day.
Himchan just glared at Daehyun with his blood-shot eyes.
“Is that a problem?” Himchan retorted.
“No, but y’know, wouldn’t you rather sleep in your bed?” Daehyun grabbed a spare shirt from the floor and threw it on; trying to avoid the deathly stare Himchan was giving him. He never understood why Himchan was so cruel to him. He knew that Himchan had his days where he’d just burst out in anger for the hell of it, but Himchan genuinely seemed to hate him. He’d praise everyone on what they’re wearing or when they’re recording, but when it comes to himself all he gets is, “That wasn’t that great” or “You could do better.” He just didn’t understand.
“If I wanted to sleep in my bed I’d be in it right now wouldn’t I, Daehyun?” Himchan asked, getting from the chair and putting on a change of clothes.
“I guess so…” Daehyun just stood there in silence as Himchan changed into a fresh pair of clothes.
“Good, now don’t wake me up next time if you see me asleep,” rustling Daehyun’s hair as if he was his own personal pet. Daehyun just stood there as the elder messed up his hair. “Yep, he hates me,” Daehyun thought, as Himchan walked out the bedroom door. Fixing his hair, he followed suit and left the bedroom, even if he wanted to crawl up into a ball and die right about now.
-
Walking out, he saw Youngjae making breakfast for the rest of the members. Daehyun smiled at his friend, receiving the warmth and kindness of Youngjae’s smile back; the warmth and kindness that he really needed right now.
“Good morning, I’m guessing Himchan is giving you grief again. Am I right?” Youngjae asked confidently.
“Yes... but I don’t know why he only picks on me,” Daehyun groaned. Youngjae always knew when he was upset. He didn’t know how, but he was always glad to have him around. That friend he could go to whenever he had a problem in his life, especially lately with all this Himchan drama arising from nowhere. “He’s always complimenting you on how well you sing, but when it comes to me he turns a blind eye. I don’t get it.”
Youngjae just nods as he flips the final pancake over to cook.
“Maybe you just suck at singing,” Youngjae jokingly said laughing as Daehyun furrowed his eyebrows at him. “I’m joking! Have you ever asked why he’s so cruel to you?”
“No. I don’t see the need to. It’s obvious he just hates me.”
“How could anyone hate you?” Youngjae pinched Daehyun’s cheeks, causing Daehyun to backaway in protest.
“Get off me!” Daehyun grabbed the latter’s hands and threw them to the side, causing Youngjae to almost topple over. Youngjae just frowned and continued to set-up the breakfast.
“Well anyway, you should really talk to Himchan if this whole situation is bothering you. There’s no harm in trying at least.” Youngjae set out the plates and food on the table for everyone.
“It’s ready!” he yelled. Not even a second had gone by before all of the members were already digging into Youngjae’s cooking. Daehyun was directly opposite Himchan, who was eating like there was no tomorrow. He didn’t take his eyes off his plate in case Himchan had another one of his unneeded comments up his sleeve.
“This food tastes great, Youngjae!” Himchan exclaimed, shovelling the remains of his meal in his mouth.
“Thanks hyung, but Daehyun made that pancake you’re eating,” Youngjae lied, winking in Daehyun’s direction. Daehyun knew exactly what he was doing and he knew it was just going to end in another one of Himchan’s malicious insults.
“Did he really? That might explain that really salty after taste. Nice try though,” Himchan just smiled at Daehyun, ignoring the fact that he just hurt his feelings… once again.
Youngjae just looked at Daehyun and mimed the words “I’m sorry.” Daehyun just gave him a nod and continued to eat his food. Everyone was having so much fun on the table, while Daehyun continued to bathe in his self-pity.
“Hey, cheer up! Don’t take his comments to heart,” Youngjae said cheerfully, putting his hand on Daehyun’s shoulder. Daehyun would usually cheer up when Youngjae said so, but he just didn’t have the energy anymore. Getting up, Daehyun left the room and went into the bedroom. Lying on his bunk, he wondered if talking to Himchan would really change things between him and his hyung… probably not. Sighing, he turned to his side and tried to sleep it off for a while. Before he could fall asleep, he could hear the sound of someone bouncing boisterously through the bedroom door.
“Hyung, is everything alright? You just left when all the fun started.” Zelo asked, bouncing atop Daehyun’s bunk. Daehyun couldn’t but feel happy when Zelo was around him, but right now his charm just wasn’t working.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just tired that’s all,” Daehyun said, reassuring Zelo of any worries. Zelo just looked at him.
“Don’t lie to me, you’re thinking about Himchan, aren’t you?”
Daehyun just stared at him. How did he know? He didn’t remember telling anyone other than Youngjae. Did Youngjae tell everyone? Why was he worrying so much?
“How did you know?” Daehyun just stared at him puzzled.
“Everyone knows, except for maybe Himchan himself,” Zelo laughed. “You really need to talk to him. We’ve told him countless times to take it easy on you, but he just doesn’t listen. You need to stand up for yourself hyung!” Zelo gave Daehyun a bright smile before jumping off the bunk bed. Zelo was right. He had to stand up for himself. If he didn’t, he’d probably want to leave the group and he knew how enthused he was when he got into B.A.P. He’d beat himself up if he left over such a feeble reason. He had to talk to him, for the sake of his sanity and the sake of his dream.
He began to psych himself up before confronting Himchan. “Is this really a good idea? Maybe we’re just being over-dramatic? Maybe it’s Himchan’s way of showing affection or whatever.” Daehyun thought. He was panicking again and he didn’t know why. For one who claimed he was tough, he sure wasn’t showing it. He reached for the bedroom door handle before… BOOM!
Toppling over, Daehyun was smashed right in the head by the door. Rubbing his forehead, he was about to yell profanity at the moron who was standing at the door until he noticed it was Himchan. With his cold eyes, he just stood there and glared at Daehyun on the floor of the bedroom.
“You should really look where you’re going next time. You don’t want to get hurt,” Himchan just laughed. “He’s laughing at me” Daehyun thought, shuffling through every torture method he wanted to perform on his elder. He couldn’t stand this anymore.
“I should look out?! How about you stop thinking about yourself and think about someone else once in a while?” Daehyun bellowed. Daehyun was about to pop a blood vessel. All the anger he’s been holding in was about to be unleashed and he knew there was no stopping him.
“I’m sick of your harsh comments! I’m not a wall. I don’t just stand there and take everything that comes my way. I have feelings. They’re feelings that can get hurt… feelings that will get hurt.” Daehyun was holding back his tears for the sake of the situation at hand, but as much as he wanted to, a single tear fell down his right cheek staining the carpet beneath his feet.
“Whatever!” Himchan hissed back.
-
He didn’t mean to treat Daehyun the way he did. He just didn’t know any other way to express his feelings for someone. To be honest, this was the first time Himchan ever had feelings for someone in his life. It was all new to him and he had no idea how to approach it.
“Maybe I was too harsh on Daehyunnie?” Himchan thought, looking at the younger one sleep. He looked so peaceful when asleep, but Himchan knew he was still hurting on the inside and he was beating himself over it. Closing his eyes, he hoped when he woke up the smile that brings him so much joy in his life will be presented to him in the morning once again, for him at least.
Rays of sunlight beamed on his face as he woke up from his uninterrupted sleep. He stretched out before adjusting his eyes to the brightness of the bedroom. “Where was Daehyun?” he thought, looking at the clock on the sidetable beside Yongguk’s bunk. “9am? Why didn’t he wake me up?” Himchan said to himself. Was Daehyun still upset about yesterday? Himchan knew he took it too far yesterday and now his facing the consequences of his actions and it was killing him. To think he was going to lose the one that could possibly be the love of his life was a difficult thing to think about. Getting up from his chair, he pushed the chair back into the corner he found it and left the room.
Daehyun was sitting on the couch laughing as Yongguk and Jongup had a dance battle, with Jongup being the obvious winner in the end. He was trying to enjoy himself as much as he could before he got lashed at by Himchan again today, especially after the events of yesterday. Bitterness ran through his body every time he thought about it. “He didn’t even apology.” Daehyun thought, trying to forget about it and enjoy the few moments he had without Himchan. He laughed as Yongguk tried to do a head spin in the small confinement of their living room, which ended in disaster for the leader but amusement for the rest of the members. Dread suddenly plastered over his face as he heard the bedroom door open and shut abruptly. Hearing the footsteps, he turned around to face Himchan’s wrath again. Getting up from his seat, he stood in front of the couch so there was nothing in the way of him and Himchan. He knew what he was going to do to Himchan if he got ripped to pieces by his constant cruel comments again, and it wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Himchan asked, giving Daehyun a concerned look which was oblivious to the latter at the time.
“You said -“
Before Daehyun could finish his sentence, he was suddenly embraced by his elder. “What the hell?” Daehyun thought as he stood there stunned. Did Himchan bump his head when he woke up? Why was he hugging him? This was weird and he didn’t know whether to hug back or to push him away.
“Don’t listen to anything I say to you. I don’t mean it. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just…” Himchan couldn’t complete his sentence in the fear of rejection, but he didn’t mind as he felt Daehyun’s arms wrap around his waist and squeeze him softly. They both stood their hugging for a good few minutes before letting go, to Himchan’s disappointment.
“I accept your apology, but I didn’t hear the rest of what you said,” Daehyun still had his hands on Himchan’s waist, looking directly into the boy’s eyes opposite him.
“Oh, it was nothing.” Himchan laughed it off making Daehyun smile. There it was… the smile that Himchan loved and would never forget. It was the smile that made Himchan feel peace at night.
“Ok then,” giving Himchan a small smile, before returning to the couch to join the others who were absolutely speechless by the time he sat down. Daehyun could tell they were lost for words and so was he.
Himchan walked back into the room to get changed into a fresh pair of clothes, before lying on his bunk bed. He knew he should of told Daehyun his true feelings, but he was content with knowing that Daehyun somewhat cared for him even after being a jerk to him. Even if he never told Daehyun what he really felt, he at least knew Daehyun would be there every day to keep the smile on his face and he was fine with that.
Just fine!
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2K+
Summary: Daehyun is sick of Himchan's harsh treatment towards him (+ other stuff)
A/N: This was originally posted on Asianfanfics and really isn't the greatest literature made by me, but oh well.
Midnight was always Himchan’s favourite part of the day. The silence of the dorms as everyone sleeps calmly through the night. The slight rustling of bushes outside complemented the dead silence of the dorms in a way in which Himchan could never describe.
Getting up from his bunk, he quietly walked towards the corner of the room to grab a chair. He placed the chair just diagonal of Daehyun’s bunk. Watching Daehyun was his daily night routine. He knew how creepy it was to watch over another member in the night, but there was something about Daehyun sleeping that made Himchan feel at peace; even if he didn’t treat the younger one that well during the day.
~*~*~
Earlier that day
“Hyung, you fell asleep on that damn chair again,” Daehyun said, shaking the elder to wake him up from his long slumber. Daehyun could never really understand why Himchan slept on that chair. He doesn’t even know why the chair was in the room in the first place. He’s always hidden it from Himchan a thousand times, but it always seems to come back every day.
Himchan just glared at Daehyun with his blood-shot eyes.
“Is that a problem?” Himchan retorted.
“No, but y’know, wouldn’t you rather sleep in your bed?” Daehyun grabbed a spare shirt from the floor and threw it on; trying to avoid the deathly stare Himchan was giving him. He never understood why Himchan was so cruel to him. He knew that Himchan had his days where he’d just burst out in anger for the hell of it, but Himchan genuinely seemed to hate him. He’d praise everyone on what they’re wearing or when they’re recording, but when it comes to himself all he gets is, “That wasn’t that great” or “You could do better.” He just didn’t understand.
“If I wanted to sleep in my bed I’d be in it right now wouldn’t I, Daehyun?” Himchan asked, getting from the chair and putting on a change of clothes.
“I guess so…” Daehyun just stood there in silence as Himchan changed into a fresh pair of clothes.
“Good, now don’t wake me up next time if you see me asleep,” rustling Daehyun’s hair as if he was his own personal pet. Daehyun just stood there as the elder messed up his hair. “Yep, he hates me,” Daehyun thought, as Himchan walked out the bedroom door. Fixing his hair, he followed suit and left the bedroom, even if he wanted to crawl up into a ball and die right about now.
-
Walking out, he saw Youngjae making breakfast for the rest of the members. Daehyun smiled at his friend, receiving the warmth and kindness of Youngjae’s smile back; the warmth and kindness that he really needed right now.
“Good morning, I’m guessing Himchan is giving you grief again. Am I right?” Youngjae asked confidently.
“Yes... but I don’t know why he only picks on me,” Daehyun groaned. Youngjae always knew when he was upset. He didn’t know how, but he was always glad to have him around. That friend he could go to whenever he had a problem in his life, especially lately with all this Himchan drama arising from nowhere. “He’s always complimenting you on how well you sing, but when it comes to me he turns a blind eye. I don’t get it.”
Youngjae just nods as he flips the final pancake over to cook.
“Maybe you just suck at singing,” Youngjae jokingly said laughing as Daehyun furrowed his eyebrows at him. “I’m joking! Have you ever asked why he’s so cruel to you?”
“No. I don’t see the need to. It’s obvious he just hates me.”
“How could anyone hate you?” Youngjae pinched Daehyun’s cheeks, causing Daehyun to backaway in protest.
“Get off me!” Daehyun grabbed the latter’s hands and threw them to the side, causing Youngjae to almost topple over. Youngjae just frowned and continued to set-up the breakfast.
“Well anyway, you should really talk to Himchan if this whole situation is bothering you. There’s no harm in trying at least.” Youngjae set out the plates and food on the table for everyone.
“It’s ready!” he yelled. Not even a second had gone by before all of the members were already digging into Youngjae’s cooking. Daehyun was directly opposite Himchan, who was eating like there was no tomorrow. He didn’t take his eyes off his plate in case Himchan had another one of his unneeded comments up his sleeve.
“This food tastes great, Youngjae!” Himchan exclaimed, shovelling the remains of his meal in his mouth.
“Thanks hyung, but Daehyun made that pancake you’re eating,” Youngjae lied, winking in Daehyun’s direction. Daehyun knew exactly what he was doing and he knew it was just going to end in another one of Himchan’s malicious insults.
“Did he really? That might explain that really salty after taste. Nice try though,” Himchan just smiled at Daehyun, ignoring the fact that he just hurt his feelings… once again.
Youngjae just looked at Daehyun and mimed the words “I’m sorry.” Daehyun just gave him a nod and continued to eat his food. Everyone was having so much fun on the table, while Daehyun continued to bathe in his self-pity.
“Hey, cheer up! Don’t take his comments to heart,” Youngjae said cheerfully, putting his hand on Daehyun’s shoulder. Daehyun would usually cheer up when Youngjae said so, but he just didn’t have the energy anymore. Getting up, Daehyun left the room and went into the bedroom. Lying on his bunk, he wondered if talking to Himchan would really change things between him and his hyung… probably not. Sighing, he turned to his side and tried to sleep it off for a while. Before he could fall asleep, he could hear the sound of someone bouncing boisterously through the bedroom door.
“Hyung, is everything alright? You just left when all the fun started.” Zelo asked, bouncing atop Daehyun’s bunk. Daehyun couldn’t but feel happy when Zelo was around him, but right now his charm just wasn’t working.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just tired that’s all,” Daehyun said, reassuring Zelo of any worries. Zelo just looked at him.
“Don’t lie to me, you’re thinking about Himchan, aren’t you?”
Daehyun just stared at him. How did he know? He didn’t remember telling anyone other than Youngjae. Did Youngjae tell everyone? Why was he worrying so much?
“How did you know?” Daehyun just stared at him puzzled.
“Everyone knows, except for maybe Himchan himself,” Zelo laughed. “You really need to talk to him. We’ve told him countless times to take it easy on you, but he just doesn’t listen. You need to stand up for yourself hyung!” Zelo gave Daehyun a bright smile before jumping off the bunk bed. Zelo was right. He had to stand up for himself. If he didn’t, he’d probably want to leave the group and he knew how enthused he was when he got into B.A.P. He’d beat himself up if he left over such a feeble reason. He had to talk to him, for the sake of his sanity and the sake of his dream.
He began to psych himself up before confronting Himchan. “Is this really a good idea? Maybe we’re just being over-dramatic? Maybe it’s Himchan’s way of showing affection or whatever.” Daehyun thought. He was panicking again and he didn’t know why. For one who claimed he was tough, he sure wasn’t showing it. He reached for the bedroom door handle before… BOOM!
Toppling over, Daehyun was smashed right in the head by the door. Rubbing his forehead, he was about to yell profanity at the moron who was standing at the door until he noticed it was Himchan. With his cold eyes, he just stood there and glared at Daehyun on the floor of the bedroom.
“You should really look where you’re going next time. You don’t want to get hurt,” Himchan just laughed. “He’s laughing at me” Daehyun thought, shuffling through every torture method he wanted to perform on his elder. He couldn’t stand this anymore.
“I should look out?! How about you stop thinking about yourself and think about someone else once in a while?” Daehyun bellowed. Daehyun was about to pop a blood vessel. All the anger he’s been holding in was about to be unleashed and he knew there was no stopping him.
“I’m sick of your harsh comments! I’m not a wall. I don’t just stand there and take everything that comes my way. I have feelings. They’re feelings that can get hurt… feelings that will get hurt.” Daehyun was holding back his tears for the sake of the situation at hand, but as much as he wanted to, a single tear fell down his right cheek staining the carpet beneath his feet.
“Whatever!” Himchan hissed back.
-
He didn’t mean to treat Daehyun the way he did. He just didn’t know any other way to express his feelings for someone. To be honest, this was the first time Himchan ever had feelings for someone in his life. It was all new to him and he had no idea how to approach it.
“Maybe I was too harsh on Daehyunnie?” Himchan thought, looking at the younger one sleep. He looked so peaceful when asleep, but Himchan knew he was still hurting on the inside and he was beating himself over it. Closing his eyes, he hoped when he woke up the smile that brings him so much joy in his life will be presented to him in the morning once again, for him at least.
Rays of sunlight beamed on his face as he woke up from his uninterrupted sleep. He stretched out before adjusting his eyes to the brightness of the bedroom. “Where was Daehyun?” he thought, looking at the clock on the sidetable beside Yongguk’s bunk. “9am? Why didn’t he wake me up?” Himchan said to himself. Was Daehyun still upset about yesterday? Himchan knew he took it too far yesterday and now his facing the consequences of his actions and it was killing him. To think he was going to lose the one that could possibly be the love of his life was a difficult thing to think about. Getting up from his chair, he pushed the chair back into the corner he found it and left the room.
Daehyun was sitting on the couch laughing as Yongguk and Jongup had a dance battle, with Jongup being the obvious winner in the end. He was trying to enjoy himself as much as he could before he got lashed at by Himchan again today, especially after the events of yesterday. Bitterness ran through his body every time he thought about it. “He didn’t even apology.” Daehyun thought, trying to forget about it and enjoy the few moments he had without Himchan. He laughed as Yongguk tried to do a head spin in the small confinement of their living room, which ended in disaster for the leader but amusement for the rest of the members. Dread suddenly plastered over his face as he heard the bedroom door open and shut abruptly. Hearing the footsteps, he turned around to face Himchan’s wrath again. Getting up from his seat, he stood in front of the couch so there was nothing in the way of him and Himchan. He knew what he was going to do to Himchan if he got ripped to pieces by his constant cruel comments again, and it wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Himchan asked, giving Daehyun a concerned look which was oblivious to the latter at the time.
“You said -“
Before Daehyun could finish his sentence, he was suddenly embraced by his elder. “What the hell?” Daehyun thought as he stood there stunned. Did Himchan bump his head when he woke up? Why was he hugging him? This was weird and he didn’t know whether to hug back or to push him away.
“Don’t listen to anything I say to you. I don’t mean it. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just…” Himchan couldn’t complete his sentence in the fear of rejection, but he didn’t mind as he felt Daehyun’s arms wrap around his waist and squeeze him softly. They both stood their hugging for a good few minutes before letting go, to Himchan’s disappointment.
“I accept your apology, but I didn’t hear the rest of what you said,” Daehyun still had his hands on Himchan’s waist, looking directly into the boy’s eyes opposite him.
“Oh, it was nothing.” Himchan laughed it off making Daehyun smile. There it was… the smile that Himchan loved and would never forget. It was the smile that made Himchan feel peace at night.
“Ok then,” giving Himchan a small smile, before returning to the couch to join the others who were absolutely speechless by the time he sat down. Daehyun could tell they were lost for words and so was he.
Himchan walked back into the room to get changed into a fresh pair of clothes, before lying on his bunk bed. He knew he should of told Daehyun his true feelings, but he was content with knowing that Daehyun somewhat cared for him even after being a jerk to him. Even if he never told Daehyun what he really felt, he at least knew Daehyun would be there every day to keep the smile on his face and he was fine with that.
Just fine!