(no subject)
i think im in basically the worst mood ever right now. im just so absolutely sick of everything.
yeah the heats making it worse and also the fact that our refrigerator is still broken again and has been for probably a week. weve called the landlords twice (now three times) yet its still broken. no cold anything. no food.
mainly im just sick of where i am still. i pretty much have nothing besides dumb material possessions. i have to find another apartment this month for next semester yet i cant find anyone to live with because i have such a small selection of friends/people i feel i can trust. maybe i ask for too much but seriously, what i ask for is what other people like me have absolutely no trouble with. i really dont understand and its not that i dont try. i am soo completely sick of only having about 2 friends. i hate that when a weekend rolls around i have no real options with what to do. i am sooo sick of always being lonely. i dont even know how to fucking describe it anymore. whats so wrong with me? i have so much love that i try to give yet so little is recieved. what is so impossible about just wanting someone in your life? i just want good company.
ive been really stressed out this week about a living situation. ill probably just end up moving back home but im really dont think its time for that right now, i think that will just put me in deeper. i could get a one bedroom but i think that as well will just worsen my mindset. i want a nice superclean place that i can feel relaxed at and cook like amazing dinners for people every night. so i dunno, if anyone knows anyone that is looking for somewhere to live, and isnt a slob/drunk, pleease let me know. maybe this post isnt the right one to ask that because of the whineyness, but really, i think i can be a pretty fun and drama-less person. live with me
ughhhhhh. im pretty sure im taking a train down to new york tomorrow morning to see some people and maybe occupy my mind. everytime i go somewhere though i come back and get worse because other places are just so much easier than this shithole. man i miss happiness. come back.
yeah the heats making it worse and also the fact that our refrigerator is still broken again and has been for probably a week. weve called the landlords twice (now three times) yet its still broken. no cold anything. no food.
mainly im just sick of where i am still. i pretty much have nothing besides dumb material possessions. i have to find another apartment this month for next semester yet i cant find anyone to live with because i have such a small selection of friends/people i feel i can trust. maybe i ask for too much but seriously, what i ask for is what other people like me have absolutely no trouble with. i really dont understand and its not that i dont try. i am soo completely sick of only having about 2 friends. i hate that when a weekend rolls around i have no real options with what to do. i am sooo sick of always being lonely. i dont even know how to fucking describe it anymore. whats so wrong with me? i have so much love that i try to give yet so little is recieved. what is so impossible about just wanting someone in your life? i just want good company.
ive been really stressed out this week about a living situation. ill probably just end up moving back home but im really dont think its time for that right now, i think that will just put me in deeper. i could get a one bedroom but i think that as well will just worsen my mindset. i want a nice superclean place that i can feel relaxed at and cook like amazing dinners for people every night. so i dunno, if anyone knows anyone that is looking for somewhere to live, and isnt a slob/drunk, pleease let me know. maybe this post isnt the right one to ask that because of the whineyness, but really, i think i can be a pretty fun and drama-less person. live with me
ughhhhhh. im pretty sure im taking a train down to new york tomorrow morning to see some people and maybe occupy my mind. everytime i go somewhere though i come back and get worse because other places are just so much easier than this shithole. man i miss happiness. come back.