Running Away
Title: Running Away
Author: junshoo
Length: oneshot
Genre: angst
Pairing: Yoosu
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: Don't own these guys.
Summary: Junsu can’t seem to find the love he had for Yoochun anymore. Based written on Lonely by 2ne1.
A/N: Part of the 30 themed challenge. The first one written. Also, I need to change my style.
“Junsu-ah, what’s wrong, you haven’t been yourself lately.” Asked Yoochun as he wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” replied Junsu as he looked down in guilt and shame. He could not tell Yoochun, could he? He could not tell Yoochun that he had lost the feelings. He could not. He still believes that he does still love Yoochun. The Yoochun that he had always been with, the past 3 years.
Yoochun placed a soft kiss on Junsu’s ear lobe, “Alright, but don’t keep things to yourself. Do tell me if you have any problems at all. I hate seeing you all depressed like this.”
Junsu nodded his head in reply and excused himself to the gents. He suddenly felt the need to cry and he could not let Yoochun see.
Was Junsu such a horrible person? Junsu stared at the reflection in the mirror. “You…unfaithful bastard.” He said, feeling pathetic about himself.
Junsu ran the tap and splashed some cold water on his face. “No… I love him. I do…” he told himself. “I do, I do…”
The water mixed with his salty tears; no one would realised that he had been crying, right?
*
“I love you, Su-ah~” whispered Yoochun into Junsu’s ear as he presented a small gift box to him.
“Yoochun?”
“Open it,” Yoochun encouraged.
Junsu’s heart beat increased. Why was Yoochun suddenly giving him a present when there was not any special occasion at all. He glanced nervously at his boyfriend again, only to receive another of Yoochun’s famous charming smile.
He had no choice but to open it. With his trembling hands, he slowly pull the bright yellow ribbon off. It fell gracefully and Junsu paused for a moment before continuing to lift the cover of the box.
What met his eyes was a shocked to him.
“Y-yooc-chun?” stuttered Junsu.
Yoochun leaned forward and planted kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. “Yah, don’t worry, I’m not going to propose to you yet. It’s just a couple ring! Look I have one too!” he says as he proudly showed his ring finger.
“O-oh. You didn’t have to…”
“Nonsense, of course I had to! We’re a couple! My Junsu-ah, let me help you put it on for you!” said Yoochun excitedly.
Junsu nodded. What if the next time it was really an engagement ring? He looked at Yoochun nervously who was too contented on how the ring had fit Junsu’s finger perfectly.
Yoochun then looked into Junsu’s eyes seriously as he threaded his fingers through the other. His eyes were diluted and Junsu suddenly felt slightly scared.
“Yoochun?”
“I love you,” said Yoochun as he kissed Junsu’s finger. He pushed Junsu back so that Junsu was lying down on the bed. Junsu’s breath hitched when Yoochun’s hands slid into his shirt
“C-chun-nie… S-stop,” Junsu stuttered out.
Yoochun looked up and stopped, “What’s wrong?”
“I-I… don’t feel well. So if you could stop…”
Yoochun immediately place the back of his hands against his boyfriend’s forehead. They were warm from Junsu being so flushed but Yoochun got convinced that Junsu had caught a fever.
“Sorry baby, I’ll go make some hot soup for you, alright?”
Junsu nodded and watched the retreating figure of his boyfriend.
He pulled up the blanket up to his body. Suddenly, feeling conscious about his own body. Boyfriend? Junsu used to love that term. Did he even have the right to call Yoochun his boyfriend anymore? Junsu sighed and closed his eyes. There were so many things to think about.
He had forced himself to enjoy the things the other have done for him so far and it seems like Junsu’s own feelings were not true enough. He just felt so horrible.
He buried his face in his hands. What was he leading Yoochun into?
**
How long has it been since they had gotten together? Junsu tried recalling their memories together. Has it really been 3 years? When was the last time that he had actually enjoyed being with Yoochun? When was the last time he had truthfully loved Yoochun? When was the first time he had stop having feelings for Yoochun?
“Junsu?” a voice called out to him.
Junsu opened his eyes and see his boyfriend smiling charmingly at him. Junsu tried to smile back.
“Junsu, I love you,” he said.
Junsu tried to reply. No words came out.
“Junsu, do you love me too?” Yoochun asked. He was suddenly drifting further and further away from Junsu.
Junsu tried to reach his hands out. He tried to walk, he tried to run after Yoochun but the more he tried to get nearer to Yoochun, the further Yoochun had gotten.
Yoochun was drifting into the light.
“No! Don’t leave me alone!” Junsu screamed out. He had finally found his voice. “No, no, no-“
***
“Junsu?” Junsu heard a voice calling him. Who is that? Wait, Yoochun? “Wake up, are you having a nightmare?”
Junsu felt a big gentle hand gently shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the lights. He sees Yoochun. Yoochun is still with him.
“You’re awake, you were screaming in your dreams. Are you okay?” Yoochun asked, concerned.
Junsu groaned. He tried to get up. Yoochun helped him into a sitting position. Junsu felt terrible.
“Hey, I’ve prepared the soup for you. Don’t let it get too cold.”
Junsu nodded. Yoochun stood up to leave.
“Where are you going?” Junsu croaked.
Yoochun smiled and stroked Junsu’s face. “Nowhere. I’ll be right here for you. Whenever you need me.”
And suddenly Junsu was alone. Junsu clutched his chest. It did not hurt but somehow it felt constricted. Why could he not breathe properly? It felt as though the loneliness was enveloping his heart so strongly that he could not breathe.
Baby I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm Lonely
I must be lacking when it comes to love, please forgive this person horrible person I am
I'm sorry, this is your and my story
I must not be worthy of this thing called love, even though I'm by your side
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
****
Yoochun’s fingers were dancing gracefully on the piano, Junsu who had just entered, watched as the other man played such sad melody. It was so sad. It felt as though it was Yoochun’s feelings that were being conveyed.
“Yoochun?” Junsu said, his voice almost came out in a whisper.
The sad melody stopped. Yoochun looked up and saw Junsu standing at the door. “Come here,” he told Junsu. Junsu did.
“I’m sorry,” Junsu looked down as he apologized.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
The tears were threatening to come out. He had completely no idea what he was doing. Yoochun stood up and wrapped his arms around Junsu for comfort. Junsu wanted to push him away.
“I love you,” said Yoochun.
Again. Again, and again. Yoochun never stopped saying that. Junsu just felt like a bastard.
He forced himself to hug the other back.
He heard Yoochun sighed softy and Junsu blinked his tears away. It was the comfort he used to love. He no longer could find the same comfort anymore.
*****
Junsu had finished packing his belongings. He would miss this place. It held so many precious memories over the past 3 years. It was because of these memories, it made him felt more and more terrible living there.
Yoochun would not be home until 10pm. Tears trickled down Junsu’s cheeks as he played with Yoochun’s favourite teddy bear. He wanted to stay longer to appreciate the apartment and the memories but he needed to get the guilty feeing away from him as soon as possible.
Junsu kissed the tip of the bear’s nose softly before placing the bear back to its original place. He reached out for his back pocket and took out a small envelope to place on the bear.
Junsu silently prayed for Yoochun’s happiness.
You didn't do anything wrong, I'm the strange one
It seems I've already been prepared long ago, for our breakup
I really wanted to treat you well, out of all the times, why is it when I'm confronted by love
I am shrinking away & am lonely endlessly
You are so kind but
That's the way you are but oh
I don't know I don't know
Why I am like this
We were so in love, and you're here now but oh
I don't know
I want to find myself now
"I hope that I will be back,” Junsu waved the empty apartment goodbye.
Author: junshoo
Length: oneshot
Genre: angst
Pairing: Yoosu
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: Don't own these guys.
Summary: Junsu can’t seem to find the love he had for Yoochun anymore. Based written on Lonely by 2ne1.
A/N: Part of the 30 themed challenge. The first one written. Also, I need to change my style.
“Junsu-ah, what’s wrong, you haven’t been yourself lately.” Asked Yoochun as he wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” replied Junsu as he looked down in guilt and shame. He could not tell Yoochun, could he? He could not tell Yoochun that he had lost the feelings. He could not. He still believes that he does still love Yoochun. The Yoochun that he had always been with, the past 3 years.
Yoochun placed a soft kiss on Junsu’s ear lobe, “Alright, but don’t keep things to yourself. Do tell me if you have any problems at all. I hate seeing you all depressed like this.”
Junsu nodded his head in reply and excused himself to the gents. He suddenly felt the need to cry and he could not let Yoochun see.
Was Junsu such a horrible person? Junsu stared at the reflection in the mirror. “You…unfaithful bastard.” He said, feeling pathetic about himself.
Junsu ran the tap and splashed some cold water on his face. “No… I love him. I do…” he told himself. “I do, I do…”
The water mixed with his salty tears; no one would realised that he had been crying, right?
*
“I love you, Su-ah~” whispered Yoochun into Junsu’s ear as he presented a small gift box to him.
“Yoochun?”
“Open it,” Yoochun encouraged.
Junsu’s heart beat increased. Why was Yoochun suddenly giving him a present when there was not any special occasion at all. He glanced nervously at his boyfriend again, only to receive another of Yoochun’s famous charming smile.
He had no choice but to open it. With his trembling hands, he slowly pull the bright yellow ribbon off. It fell gracefully and Junsu paused for a moment before continuing to lift the cover of the box.
What met his eyes was a shocked to him.
“Y-yooc-chun?” stuttered Junsu.
Yoochun leaned forward and planted kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. “Yah, don’t worry, I’m not going to propose to you yet. It’s just a couple ring! Look I have one too!” he says as he proudly showed his ring finger.
“O-oh. You didn’t have to…”
“Nonsense, of course I had to! We’re a couple! My Junsu-ah, let me help you put it on for you!” said Yoochun excitedly.
Junsu nodded. What if the next time it was really an engagement ring? He looked at Yoochun nervously who was too contented on how the ring had fit Junsu’s finger perfectly.
Yoochun then looked into Junsu’s eyes seriously as he threaded his fingers through the other. His eyes were diluted and Junsu suddenly felt slightly scared.
“Yoochun?”
“I love you,” said Yoochun as he kissed Junsu’s finger. He pushed Junsu back so that Junsu was lying down on the bed. Junsu’s breath hitched when Yoochun’s hands slid into his shirt
“C-chun-nie… S-stop,” Junsu stuttered out.
Yoochun looked up and stopped, “What’s wrong?”
“I-I… don’t feel well. So if you could stop…”
Yoochun immediately place the back of his hands against his boyfriend’s forehead. They were warm from Junsu being so flushed but Yoochun got convinced that Junsu had caught a fever.
“Sorry baby, I’ll go make some hot soup for you, alright?”
Junsu nodded and watched the retreating figure of his boyfriend.
He pulled up the blanket up to his body. Suddenly, feeling conscious about his own body. Boyfriend? Junsu used to love that term. Did he even have the right to call Yoochun his boyfriend anymore? Junsu sighed and closed his eyes. There were so many things to think about.
He had forced himself to enjoy the things the other have done for him so far and it seems like Junsu’s own feelings were not true enough. He just felt so horrible.
He buried his face in his hands. What was he leading Yoochun into?
**
How long has it been since they had gotten together? Junsu tried recalling their memories together. Has it really been 3 years? When was the last time that he had actually enjoyed being with Yoochun? When was the last time he had truthfully loved Yoochun? When was the first time he had stop having feelings for Yoochun?
“Junsu?” a voice called out to him.
Junsu opened his eyes and see his boyfriend smiling charmingly at him. Junsu tried to smile back.
“Junsu, I love you,” he said.
Junsu tried to reply. No words came out.
“Junsu, do you love me too?” Yoochun asked. He was suddenly drifting further and further away from Junsu.
Junsu tried to reach his hands out. He tried to walk, he tried to run after Yoochun but the more he tried to get nearer to Yoochun, the further Yoochun had gotten.
Yoochun was drifting into the light.
“No! Don’t leave me alone!” Junsu screamed out. He had finally found his voice. “No, no, no-“
***
“Junsu?” Junsu heard a voice calling him. Who is that? Wait, Yoochun? “Wake up, are you having a nightmare?”
Junsu felt a big gentle hand gently shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the lights. He sees Yoochun. Yoochun is still with him.
“You’re awake, you were screaming in your dreams. Are you okay?” Yoochun asked, concerned.
Junsu groaned. He tried to get up. Yoochun helped him into a sitting position. Junsu felt terrible.
“Hey, I’ve prepared the soup for you. Don’t let it get too cold.”
Junsu nodded. Yoochun stood up to leave.
“Where are you going?” Junsu croaked.
Yoochun smiled and stroked Junsu’s face. “Nowhere. I’ll be right here for you. Whenever you need me.”
And suddenly Junsu was alone. Junsu clutched his chest. It did not hurt but somehow it felt constricted. Why could he not breathe properly? It felt as though the loneliness was enveloping his heart so strongly that he could not breathe.
Baby I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm Lonely
I must be lacking when it comes to love, please forgive this person horrible person I am
I'm sorry, this is your and my story
I must not be worthy of this thing called love, even though I'm by your side
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
****
Yoochun’s fingers were dancing gracefully on the piano, Junsu who had just entered, watched as the other man played such sad melody. It was so sad. It felt as though it was Yoochun’s feelings that were being conveyed.
“Yoochun?” Junsu said, his voice almost came out in a whisper.
The sad melody stopped. Yoochun looked up and saw Junsu standing at the door. “Come here,” he told Junsu. Junsu did.
“I’m sorry,” Junsu looked down as he apologized.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
The tears were threatening to come out. He had completely no idea what he was doing. Yoochun stood up and wrapped his arms around Junsu for comfort. Junsu wanted to push him away.
“I love you,” said Yoochun.
Again. Again, and again. Yoochun never stopped saying that. Junsu just felt like a bastard.
He forced himself to hug the other back.
He heard Yoochun sighed softy and Junsu blinked his tears away. It was the comfort he used to love. He no longer could find the same comfort anymore.
*****
Junsu had finished packing his belongings. He would miss this place. It held so many precious memories over the past 3 years. It was because of these memories, it made him felt more and more terrible living there.
Yoochun would not be home until 10pm. Tears trickled down Junsu’s cheeks as he played with Yoochun’s favourite teddy bear. He wanted to stay longer to appreciate the apartment and the memories but he needed to get the guilty feeing away from him as soon as possible.
Junsu kissed the tip of the bear’s nose softly before placing the bear back to its original place. He reached out for his back pocket and took out a small envelope to place on the bear.
Junsu silently prayed for Yoochun’s happiness.
You didn't do anything wrong, I'm the strange one
It seems I've already been prepared long ago, for our breakup
I really wanted to treat you well, out of all the times, why is it when I'm confronted by love
I am shrinking away & am lonely endlessly
You are so kind but
That's the way you are but oh
I don't know I don't know
Why I am like this
We were so in love, and you're here now but oh
I don't know
I want to find myself now
"I hope that I will be back,” Junsu waved the empty apartment goodbye.