exo; take my hand (and come with me)
Title : Take My Hand (And Come with Me)
Fandom : EXO
Pairing : Kai/Kyungsoo
Length : 8.7k words
Summary : Hunger Games!AU. Reasons why that guy named Kai is a trouble: 1) He made Kyungsoo falls. 2) He made Kyungsoo falls, hard.
A/N: Set in the same universe with Frozen Heart, but not a continuation.
take my hand (and come with me)
Kyungsoo used to believe in a theory that everyone has their own first meeting with their true love in a beautiful way.
Kyungsoo has seen it on his brother, Minseok, with Luhan-his love, his life, his everything. Kyungsoo is very happy for Minseok, but he can’t tell it doesn’t envy him. The happiness on Minseok’s face, the smile that radiating from five hundred meters away every time he’s with Luhan is something Kyungsoo kind of wants to have. Because he’s not quite sure how does fall in love feels.
“It’s amazing,” Luhan says when Kyungsoo asks him that day, as Luhan helps Kyungsoo to prepare dinner and they wait for Minseok who’s going for his daily hunt. “But you need the right person to make it feels right.”
“And how do I know which person is right?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.
Luhan smiles fondly at Kyungsoo’s question. “You’d just know it,” he answers. “Because only one person would make it feels right.”
Kyungsoo wants to ask again, but Minseok is home and Luhan runs to welcome him, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes when they share a soft, tender kiss on the lips.
“Aw, look at that kid being jealous of us,” Minseok grins as he pulls Luhan closer to his side. “We’ve talked about this, brother, remember?”
“About what?” Luhan cuts in.
“Kyungsoo needs someone to take care of him,” Minseok answers. “He has been alone for too long.”
“Well, sorry but I can take care of myself very well,” Kyungsoo mumbles adamantly.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Minseok softly explains. “I’ll go to the Camp frequently from now on, mentoring the tributes. I can’t leave you all by yourself here while I’m away, so I will strongly recommend you to have someone around. You won’t know when will you need a help, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo laughs. “It’s okay, nothing really happens here and I don’t think my life is in danger. Well, if so, I can shout for help; everyone knows I’m the younger brother of Hunger Games’ winner and I have portion of your special rights as well,” Kyungsoo grins, and get Minseok’s hit on his head in return.
“Our parents didn’t raise you to be an annoying brat, kid,” the elder says, and Luhan giggles beside him. The brotherhood between the two is very amusing, and sometimes Luhan forgets Kyungsoo isn’t Minseok brother by blood. Minseok gave his all to protect his brother, and Kyungsoo most likely would do the same if it needed.
“But hyung, you and Luhan aren’t going to Camp soon, are you? I don’t think the mentoring season is started yet, everyone is still drowning on euphoria of that District 2 winner.”
“You’re right, and this district is still mourning of Jisung and Jimin’s death. I and Luhan are going to their funeral tomorrow, and probably stay there until the condition is getting better.”
Kyungsoo frowns at Minseok’s upshot of his daily hunt. “I see? So you hunted these much to keep me from starving? Wow, you’re such a blessing from above.”
“Yeah,” Minseok ruffles his brother’s hair playfully. “But half of them are my food supplies for the trip, and as a blessing from above now I ask you to kindly cook them, okay?”
Kyungsoo glares at the elder, and Luhan laughs again.
“Don’t forget to lock the door when you’re out for hunt, or when you’re just out. Don’t forget to eat, or you’ll sick. Don’t sleep too late. Don’t forget to check the windows before you go to sleep, don’t burn the house. Understand?”
Kyungsoo blinks in disbelief at Minseok’s instruction. “Do you think I’m dumb?”
“Kyungsoo is right, don’t be so overdo, Minseok. It’s not like you’re going to leave him for a war. We can still manage to contact him.” Luhan says, half-laughing, gently soothing his lover by patting his back.
“Nah, see? Luhan is my favorite brother now, sorry I had to kick you from the list.”
Minseok glares at both Luhan and Kyungsoo, before gives in and sighs loudly. “Okay, I know you know what you have to do but please remember this one. Do not ever bring any stranger into my house, for any reason. I don’t care. If I smell a smallest sign of strangers here, I’ll bury you alive along with this house, do you understand?”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you’re late, now go.”
“Kyungsoo!”
“I understand, hyung,” Kyungsoo repeats, emphasizing every syllable, “Though I feel offended because you said that like I’m a type who likes playing with strangers.”
“Nobody knows,” Minseok shrugs. “People can change by circumstances, so do you.”
“Okay, stop, both of you,” Luhan quickly cuts as hearing a bicker between two brothers in the morning isn’t something he planned to. “Take care, Kyungsoo. And be careful. If you need something let me or Minseok know immediately, okay?”
“Okay, Luhan. Have a nice and safe trip.”
Luhan smiles, and Minseok drags him away while muttering something that sounds like “Don’t spoil him, it grows him to be annoying. I should’ve sent him into military,” and Kyungsoo scrunches his nose, slamming the door shut.
Kyungsoo turns on the television and the fake effervescent is showing on the screen. Fake, obviously, since people in Panem are really good at acting. Although it’s still an irony how there are people wasting their money and time on an annual sickening ceremony whilst other people crying over their beloved one’s death. Kyungsoo remembers Minseok had said, “If you want to be a part of Panem, the only thing you should do is being society’s trash. They are basically trashes, hiding behind make up and properties. But they are also the meanest creature ever alive. They are laughing with you, but you wouldn’t know whether they really want to laugh or secretly planning your murder.” And Kyungsoo believes that.
“Looks like everyone is in a blissful mood right now,” someone on TV says, “unfortunately our star can’t join us here. But still, the party goes on. Everyone, are you enjoying this right now?”
A lot of loud screams and joyful cheers echo themselves to where Kyungsoo stands, the boy furrowing his eyebrows to the screen. He can imagine how people who lost their family member react to this set up exhilaration-how eerie those screams sounded for them. But television only broadcasting what Capitol wants them to broadcast and everything is always live. As if they want to make the wound always fresh and no one could forget that Capitol always got anything they wanted.
Kyungsoo doesn’t really watch television, it only has one channel-Capitol’s Channel, and everything on it is a pain in the ass, Minseok said, because Panem is a bitch. Minseok is not very vocal at swearing, but the slightest thing of Capitol always got him boiled in anger. Kyungsoo remembers the suffering he had when Minseok was in the game, watching every step of his brother felt like cutting his own nerves a millimeter each second, and if his brother didn’t win, he could’ve died, too.
So Kyungsoo turns off the television, he’s safe as long as Capitol didn’t establish the whole districts to watch the publication they made. Because when they did, you couldn’t turn off the TV and, being forced to watch. Usually the news isn’t good, but the cheers will always there (and Kyungsoo starts to think they probably have it recorded).
“Nothing much on TV, huh?”
Kyungsoo turns around, shocked. “Chanyeol, you scared me.”
“Sorry,” Chanyeol grins, “I was knocking but no answer and the front door wasn’t locked, so I peeked inside. You’re alone here?”
Kyungsoo nods. “Yeah, Minseok hyung and Luhan attend District 12 tributes’ funeral, and they didn’t tell the exact time they would back, probably until the euphoria is done.”
“Panem is going crazy with this year’s winner. He’s Capitol’s heartthrob, everyone loves him. That’s what I heard.”
“I don’t quite remember how he looks like, but I did hear he’s famous. He’s from District 2, man, how could Capitol not love him?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “It’s not a secret anymore that Capitol trained them illegally before sent them into Hunger Games, but yeah, they’re not always that lucky to be Capitol’s favorite to win.”
“Wow, so Minseok hyung was right about them.”
“What did he say?” asks Chanyeol, suppressing a smile.
“They are pain. In the ass.”
Chanyeol laughs. “What a nice phrase. Anyway, I came here to ask your brother to hunt with me, but since he’s not here, I guess I’ll take my leave now. Tell me if you need something, okay? I’ll make sure to help if I can.”
Kyungsoo nods, his face warm for a reason he can’t explain. He silently observes Chanyeol’s figure, but he can’t find that thing he’s looking for. Probably he isn’t the one, Kyungsoo thinks, but he admits Chanyeol is a reliable friend.
“If you’re going to hunt, I don’t mind to go with you. How does it sound?”
“Real good,” Chanyeol responds happily. “Come on, we should hurry. We don’t have much time.”
“Hey, Chanyeol,”
“Hm?”
“Where do you think the winner is right now?”
Chanyeol frowns at Kyungsoo, carefully stepping his foot on the hard ground below him. “What do you mean? Of course he’s in the Capitol now, being a king, Panem’s everything. They wouldn’t stop broadcasting the winning celebration for the rest of the year, like how they did to your brother last year.”
“But the TV said he wasn’t with them at the party,” Kyungsoo says, “don’t you think it’s weird? I mean, the party isn’t stopped or cancelled at all, but what’s the point of celebration when the winner isn’t there?”
Chanyeol hums, “It’s indeed weird,” he nods in agreement. “But let’s say the winner is so fashionista and he needs more than 24 hours to get ready for a celebration? It could be, I saw his prep team on TV some days ago, and they looked as bright as their tribute. For a district where the rules are stern, they are creepy.”
Kyungsoo laughs, but his laughs cut off when a familiar figure passes by, some meters ahead them. He hurriedly pulls Chanyeol’s arm and hide behind a thicket.
“Kyungsoo, what’s-”
“The Peacekeepers.” Kyungsoo whispers, his voice trembling. “What are they doing here? Catching illegal hunters? Did we break the rule?”
“I don’t think so; we aren’t even close to the metal fence on the boundary. It should be okay,” Chanyeol calms him, “but it’s unusual to see them around when we have no conflict against them. I guess someone made a mistake and they were sent to arrest them.”
“Probably,” Kyungsoo finally found his breath again. “Let’s separate here, if we come together it’d be suspicious.”
Chanyeol nods. “Okay, be careful.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Kyungsoo walks himself home and almost tripping to a body lying on the front door.
A bloody man’s body.
Kyungsoo’s eyes go wider in an instant and quickly approaching the man, shaking him, making sure he’s not dead. Luckily he’s still alive-and dying-his breathing dashed when he tries to whisper something on Kyungsoo’s ears.
“The-P-Peacekeeper-” he says clear enough for Kyungsoo to hear, “They-attacked m-me…”
“Okay, I got it. I’ll get you inside,” Kyungsoo trying to get a help, but there are no people around and Kyungsoo doesn’t want to catch Peacekeepers’ attention. The fact that this guy was attacked by them is surprising enough-the one who had physical contact with Peacekeepers is either a prisoner or a prisoner-to-be.
He barely remembers Minseok’s warning about stranger.
Kyungsoo isn’t really good at medical things, and he can’t remember much what his real mother, who was a doctor, did to her patients. His adoptive mother-Minseok’s mother-was also good at treating wound and she had plenty stock of antiseptic liquid that he and Minseok used to play with it when they were roleplaying as doctor and patient. Minseok got her dexterity on this, and now Kyungsoo trying to recall what did Minseok do when he applied his skill on Hunger Games.
“First, clean the wound with water. If it’s a serious open wound, use a towel. Wipe it gently and don’t rub. Don’t use the same side of the towel to wipe against the wound if you’ve rubbed it on other place. Drain the water, replace it with the new one and put in few drops of antiseptic and redo all the steps,” Kyungsoo says to himself like he’s memorizing a textbook, doesn’t have a time to realize the other man lying on the couch is smiling on his act.
“Uh, excuse me, it’d probably be a little bit… painful, and if you’re uncomfortable please tell me. I’m not good at this, but I have no choice. I’ll get you a doctor after I cleaned your wounds.”
The other man nods, closes his eyes and Kyungsoo gulps. Oh my God, how if I kill this man by accidentally cut his broken nerves when I’m wiping his blood…
Well, it’s too much, Kyungsoo’s logic side won this time. He carefully wipes the towel on the man’s skin, a lot more careful when he reaches the open wound. Kyungsoo needs ten minutes to finish wiping his arms, and he lets out a relief sigh when it’s done. The blood is not dripping anymore and only some stains left, and it looks less scary.
“I’m going to clean your face, please keep your eyes shut for a while.”
Kyungsoo squeezes the towel dry and wiping the face slowly, as his thought running and he feels this man seems familiar. And a sudden jolt hits Kyungsoo on the head he almost drops the towel on the other’s face.
“Oh my God,” he covers his mouth with one palm, trying not to shriek out. “Oh my God, you’re… him?! Hunger Games’ winner from District 2?!”
Kyungsoo can’t believe his own eyes. He can’t believe the whole situation right now. The winner from latest Hunger Games is lying on the couch on his house, body covered with wounds, almost die due to too much lost blood in front of him, but luckily that didn’t happen. Also, it explains why The Peacekeepers are on standby on the streets, to find him.
This is trouble. A big trouble. If Minseok finds out, he’d skin him alive.
Kyungsoo had finished wiping all his wounds from head to toe, and already gave him a change of clothes. And Kyungsoo probably needs ten hundred years to process the circumstances.
“Uh, are you hungry?” Kyungsoo asks awkwardly, “The foods may not as good as in your district, but at least we’re not starving here.”
“Anything is fine,” he smiles, a little too stingy to be called a smile because only one of the corner of his lips moving sideways. It must be a smirk, but Kyungsoo really doesn’t want to tell how his smirk looks attractive-even with his face swollen and all.
“I’ll be back with your dinner, uh, just some minutes.” Kyungsoo scratches his nape, feeling dumb all of sudden. He’s not that bad at socialize before, where do all his confidence and usual side go?
Kyungsoo was about to leave for the kitchen when the other man calls him, “Excuse me?”
“Yes?” Kyungsoo turns around nervously.
A second pause and that fucking smirk formed again on his lips.
“You can call me Kai.”
Kyungsoo swears on himself, but still trying to speak. “Okay. Kai. It’s a good name.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he has to hate on Kai, his smirk, or both of them.
He swears again, loudly this time, with water running from the sink so no one could hear.
Kyungsoo is seriously on trouble.
“I’m running away from the celebration, and attacked by The Peacekeepers when I was trying to enter District 11,” Kai explains. “I see, so Capitol sent their servants to get ready and capture me at any time on every district. Nice move, but I already made my escape and nothing can get me back to them.”
“What makes you run away? Didn’t Hunger Games winner get all the finest in life?”
“That’s what you got from television,” Kai sighs deeply. “But actually, it’s even worse than being punished. I was trained for the game since I was kid, and the motivation for us to win wasn’t the finest we’d get after winning, but the death waiting for us if we failed on please Capitol.”
“But you did? I mean, you won the game?”
Kai shakes his head weakly. “I didn’t win the way they wanted it to be,” he says. “When it was only two of us left-me, and the boy from your district, I didn’t kill him like what they instructed me before. He killed himself, but they exaggerating it to hide the fact someone had killed himself on the game when it’s something definitely shouldn’t be done. But they knew, and they blamed it on me.”
“So you were running to avoid the blame? Wait-it’s not like I’m blaming you too, I just asked.”
“I’m running from being their puppets, doing as told on a show, smiling happily in front of cameras, attending parties, but after the publication ended they’d torture me on my fault until my death.” Kai takes a deep breath and grimaces when doing so hurts his rib. “Hunger Games is never an easy business, especially for tributes from my district, and District 1. The worst part is, mostly Peacekeepers recruited from my district, it’d be a piece of cake for them to find and take me.”
“They wouldn’t find you here. They never really pay attention to people on District 12.”
“I hope so,” Kai licks his lower lip, tasting blood on it. “Being a winner in Hunger Games isn’t something to be proud of. Unless you have a thing for killing people and the fact that you had survived in cannibal way makes you happy. You wouldn’t stop acting for them, reading the script and playing the role, until they decided you’re not useful anymore and replace you with another one, and they wouldn’t care whether you’re a trash or a crown-as long as you’re not rebelling on them.”
Kyungsoo bites his lip, “My brother never said that.”
“Your brother?” Kai frowns, “Your brother played in Hunger Games?”
“Yeah, my brother is Minseok, last year’s winner.”
Kai chuckles lightly. “I didn’t recognize your face, sorry.”
“It’s okay, we’re not blood relatives after all. But let’s not talk about it, it’s a long story.”
A long silent consumes them. Kyungsoo stands up, going to awkwardly leave like how he always avoids an even more awkward situation, but Kai holds his wrist. “Wait,”
“D-do you need something?”
“No, but I feel weird talking to someone I don’t even know his name.”
Kyungsoo sighs, a mental battle occurring on his head. But without listening to the result he suddenly blurts out, “I’m Kyungsoo.”
And he regrets it straightaway.
“Kyungsoo,” Kai repeats, looks amused. “Okay, thank you for everything, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo is so dead when Minseok comes back.
It’s been four days since Kai stayed on his house, and each day Kyungsoo had to deal with various strange things came to his mind. Well, he’s not going to lie that Kai is so good-looking, and his tan skin is so soft when Kyungsoo accidentally brushed them with his fingers when he helps Kai changes his clothes or when he cleans up his wounds, and his strong arm muscles, and his slim abdomen that is so hard not to look at-and he’s two heads taller than Kyungsoo so Kyungsoo’s head would press on his broad chest when Kai is holding onto him to stand.
It’s been four days and Kyungsoo had less and less sleep. What’s wrong with him, for God’s sake?
It’s already four days so Kyungsoo decides he has to tell Chanyeol about it. He doesn’t want to go crazy all alone.
“Is it okay if I leave you to hunt? I won’t be long, and I’ll lock the front door if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, take your time, I’m okay. I’ve burdened you so much so I can’t complain,”
“No, you’re not,” Kyungsoo slings his quiver on his shoulder. “I’ll be back soon.”
Kai nods, smiling. “Have fun.”
“What? Who did you say staying in your house right now?!”
“Hey, keep your voice down!” Kyungsoo punches Chanyeol’s long arm, “I told you not to shriek, remember?”
“Sorry, sorry, I was really surprised,” Chanyeol puts down his bow and sits on the hard soil beside Kyungsoo. “That must be why the Peacekeepers are everywhere around the district?”
“Seems like it,” Kyungsoo nods. “And he was injured pretty badly, I don’t think it’s possible for him to leave soon. In other side, how do I explain that to Minseok hyung? He’d kill me.”
“It’s not your fault he ended up dying in front of your door. He’ll understand.”
Kyungsoo sighs loudly. “It’s not that he won’t understand… it’s just, well, Minseok hyung is Hunger Games’ winner and he had enough issues against them, and it’s obviously far from his please to have another winner who also has issues against Capitol in our place, but it’s too late to send him to other’s place without raising suspiciousness.”
“When will they come back?”
“I don’t know, and I won’t know. Luhan did tell me something like, they could still manage to contact me from where they are, but I don’t know how. And if so, it means trouble for me because they already saw I brought a stranger inside.”
Chanyeol frowns, “Your position is not good, man. Well let’s hoping they wouldn’t come back anytime soon. It should give you enough time to think of what will you do with him and your brother later.”
Kyungsoo nods and Chanyeol offers a hand to him, helping him to get up. “Now let’s go, don’t make him wait too long.”
Kyungsoo accepts Chanyeol’s hand, laughing. Chanyeol raises an eyebrow, “Why are you laughing?”
“It’s you,” Kyungsoo says within his laugh. “You didn’t even forbid me from letting him stay. You were just shocked when I told you who he was, and later you acted like he’s an old friend who comes to visit.”
Chanyeol chuckles, “You’re old enough to decide for yourself whether something is good or bad. I don’t know the situation other than what you’ve told me, so it’s not my area to interfere.”
“Stop talking so wise, you’ll look ten years older than you really are.”
Chanyeol only laughs.
Kai was trying to walk when Kyungsoo returns. His step is obviously unstable and Kyungsoo quickly catches him before he falls and hit his head on the table surface.
“Sorry, was trying to get myself a drink.”
“Sorry I didn’t prepare it for you,” Kyungsoo replies, helps Kai to sit properly on the couch and, accidentally, bumps his nose to Kai’s. “Oops,” Kyungsoo tries to laugh, because he clearly doesn’t need clarity on his rapid heartbeat-when Kai’s face is way too close to him, when Kyungsoo can see his reflection behind those beautiful dark eyes.
“Kyungsoo, we’re hom-WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Kyungsoo and Kai jumps apart, and Kyungsoo’s already wide eyes getting wider to see Minseok and Luhan, or specifically furious Minseok and confused Luhan, standing in the front door.
“What did I say about bringing a stranger into the house?!” Minseok roars, his eyes flaring up and are more than ready to shoot Kyungsoo with laser or something like that. “What have I told you about not to get involved with some bastards who will only cause you trouble!”
“Minseok, let him explain,” Luhan cuts in, and gives Kyungsoo an eye gesture to quickly say something before Minseok gets out of control.
“I’m sorry about everything, hyung, it’s not like I didn’t listen to you. I did, but the situation was-well, emergency? I found him lying in front of our door after I went hunting and he got serious wounds on his body, so I treated him.” Kyungsoo takes a breath, “Besides, he’s Kai. And The Peacekeepers out there are looking for him.”
Luhan gasps in utter shock on the last sentence Kyungsoo spoke of. “Kai?” he repeats, fully emphasizing the word. “You mean that Kai, who had killed my Jisung on the game? Who had taken his opportunity to live his life after he came back from the game?”
“He didn’t kill Jisung! He-” Kyungsoo stops talking when Kai squeezes his hand, and Minseok shoots a firm look at him.
“What did you say?”
“No,” Kyungsoo drops his head, “I’m sorry, hyung. And I’m sorry too, Luhan.”
Minseok glances at a silently sobbing Luhan, pulls him closer and Luhan starts crying on his shoulder. He looks back and forth between Kai and Kyungsoo before says, “Kyungsoo, we need to talk.”
Kyungsoo knew how much Luhan loved Jisung. He was a lovely little boy, living near Luhan’s house with his parents and they often spent a day together when Jisung’s parents went to work. Luhan cried when he heard Jisung was another tribute chosen with Jimin to be on Hunger Games, and cried even more when Jisung died, on the last minute of the game, killed by Kai, or so everyone thought. Kyungsoo gets the reasons why Luhan must’ve hated Kai so much, but he can’t override the fact that Kai is also the victim here.
The problem is, he doesn’t know how to tell Minseok and Luhan.
“You’ve never met him before. You wouldn’t know if he had an ulterior motive that let himself being attacked to secretly trap you, Kyungsoo.”
“No, he wasn’t!” Kyungsoo protests, doesn’t know why he has to fight for Kai this much-because his brother was right. “Hyung, he was lucky to reach here alive after those people beat him. Didn’t you see how Peacekeepers can easily kill someone without any consideration?”
“And what makes you stubbornly keep him here in our place? Kyungsoo, I’ve been targeted by Capitol since a long time ago for things I’ve done in my Hunger Games era, are you going to kill me by letting him eat and sleep peacefully here? Didn’t you know your brother is the most suspected person in the whole district? It’d be so easy for Peacekeepers to drop their suspiciousness on me, on us!”
Kyungsoo can’t argue that-Minseok was right, everything he said was right. But something on Kyungsoo doesn’t want Kai to go and let Peacekeepers capture him to get him back to his district, and the mental image of Kai being tortured is too much for him.
It’s only the fourth day of his meeting with Kai and Kyungsoo is already gone crazy.
“So, who else does know about him?”
“Only me and Chanyeol,” answers Kyungsoo, and he feels Minseok is tensing again. “But Chanyeol has nothing to do with this, so please don’t snap at him too. It’s my fault, hyung.”
“Of course it’s yours,” Minseok says, his sentence jabs Kyungsoo on the stomach so hard. He shifts his glance to Luhan and strokes him slowly on the back, his face soften in just a span of a second. “I’m going out for a while, will you be okay?”
Luhan nods, “I’m okay, it’s not a big deal. Sorry, I still can’t get over Jisung’s death and meet him here right now makes me so angry and sad, but it’s not everyone’s fault. Don’t worry, Minseok.”
“I understand, but it doesn’t solve the matter. Don’t go anywhere until I come back, Kyungsoo. We haven’t finished here.”
Someone calls Minseok before he leaves the room and Kyungsoo needs five seconds to realize it was his own voice. He gulps nervously, now he has both Luhan and Minseok’s eyes on him, waiting for him to speak.
“I’ll take the responsibility,” Kyungsoo says, not sounds that confident but this is the last thing he could think of. “I’ll take the responsibility of him and myself. I promise.”
Minseok walks away without saying anything.
Chanyeol has expected Minseok’s arrival, if Minseok could say, the way he smiles knowingly when he opens his door for Minseok.
“Welcome back, hyung,” he says, “It hasn’t been an hour passed since I talked with Kyungsoo about you.”
“But you’ve expected that I would come to see you, right?” Minseok asks, trying not to sound like an accusation, but Chanyeol only nods, still smiling.
“Judging from the matter, yes, although my knowledge is merely about he’s staying at your place right now. Kyungsoo just told me today, so I don’t know another detail.”
“I don’t know what makes him so stubborn,” Minseok sighs, “You know the consequences and how dangerous the situation is for people around me, right? Why didn’t you stop him? Having Kai in my place is equal to surrender yourself to be eliminated by Capitol.”
Chanyeol takes a deep breath, “I know, but it’s not up to me to decide. Kyungsoo knows what he does, hyung, he’s not a kid.”
Silent. Minseok knows something’s wrong, but he can’t pinpoint it. Probably the wrong thing is that Chanyeol is right about Kyungsoo.
“I thought you liked my brother,” Minseok whispers, “I thought if that was true, it’d make you do… something.”
“I do, it is true,” Chanyeol smiles a little. “But the sparks on his eyes when he was talking about him is something I wouldn’t have. That’s how I assure myself that Kyungsoo isn’t playing right now; he is serious with his decision. He knew you wouldn’t agree, but he talked to me not to find a way to move him somewhere else, but how to make you understand the circumstance.”
“And why did he do that?”
Chanyeol doesn’t answer, he points to his chest and Minseok knows the answer. It’s love.
Minseok feels bitter on his tongue.
Kyungsoo sits beside Kai in the living room, but Luhan is not there. Minseok scans the room, but he can’t find him. “Where’s Luhan?” he finally asks, his eyes meet Kai’s and he quickly looks away.
“In your room,” Kyungsoo says. “He has been there since you left and hasn’t come out. Probably he’s still angry?”
“I’ll talk to him,” Minseok says quietly. “I’ll stay on Luhan’s place for few days, so you can use my room and he can use your room. Don’t do inappropriate things or I’ll skin you both alive and hang your heads on Panem’s downtown. Does that clear enough?”
Kyungsoo gapes, “You let him stay?”
Minseok nods, “Only until you can decide what to do next with him, since we can’t hide him forever. Remember, I won’t lay my hand on this. Everything will be done as what you said.” He shakes his head and breathes, “You’re my brother, Kyungsoo. I don’t want you to get hurt, really. You’re the only family I have left and I would go through anything to keep you safe, but I can’t do it this time. I’m sorry.”
Kyungsoo throws himself into Minseok’s body, hugs him tight. “I’m sorry I disappointed you. I won’t get hurt, I won’t let anyone hurt. I promise.”
“Please stay alive,” is what Minseok whispers to his ear, and Kyungsoo knows his life wouldn’t be the same anymore.
“You have a nice room,” Kai comments, gazing through his new place to sleep after four days deal with the couch (Kyungsoo didn’t let him sleep in any room because Kai’s presence on the house is illegal enough).
“My brother arranged it all for me,” Kyungsoo replies, carefully sits Kai on the mattress. “His ideas are brilliant almost at everything, though he’s a simple guy. He has no interest in fashion but always looks good at everything he wears.”
Kai chuckles, “You adore your brother so much, huh?”
Kyungsoo smiles, “He’s everything for me. Sometimes he treats me like a baby, being an annoyingly overprotective brother, but it’s only because he wants to protect me. We argue often, but this is the first time my brother completely disagrees with something I do.”
“I’m sorry I made you and your brother fight,” Kai grimaces lightly, feeling guilty.
“Don’t be,” Kyungsoo comforts him, “Maybe it’s-it’s just the time where I need to stand on my own feet.”
“You’re a brave man,” Kai says, sounds someway sincere.
“Not any braver than a Hunger Games winner,” Kyungsoo was meant that for a joke, but he himself can feel the bitter on it. Kyungsoo is on his way to challenge Capitol, which means he has no difference with both Kai and his brother who had done it before. It also means: he may die.
That’s why Minseok pleaded him to stay alive.
“If you need something, my room is next to yours. But since you can’t walk, you can knock the wall behind the headboard, if I go outside I’ll inform you first in case I didn’t reply to your knock.”
Kai nods. “Thank you, Kyungsoo, thank you so much.”
Kyungsoo nods back and quietly closes the door. He leans his back on the doorframe, sighing heavily.
For the first time on his entire life, Kyungsoo feels so lonely.
It’s the eleventh day Kai stays at Kyungsoo’s place. It’s been safe so far, but it doesn’t low Kyungsoo’s guard because the Peacekeepers are still everywhere, surrounding the district. When he left for something, Kyungsoo would feel worry all the time, trying to get home as soon as possible. And Kai’s warm smile-it’s no longer a smirk, to Kyungsoo’s relief-would greet him as he opened the door, and it melted away the burdens on his shoulder.
Kai’s wounds are getting better, but it may need some more time for them to heal properly. Kyungsoo feels the itch on his tongue to ask Kai about what would you do after this almost every day, but he manages to hold it because he doesn’t want to be harsh.
After all the days, Kyungsoo knows he doesn’t want him to leave.
“I saw you talked with your brother yesterday.”
“Oh, yes,” Kyungsoo looks up to throw the other man a little smile from the kitchen counter, “we talked a bit. Minseok hyung just wanted to know how everything’s going.”
“Is his lover still mad at me?” Kai asks, his voice implies a slightest hint of fear.
“You mean Luhan? Minseok hyung didn’t tell me anything about it, but Luhan couldn’t stay mad for so long with my brother beside him. I can guarantee that.”
Kai chuckles, “They really are a legendary couple. Everyone in my district talks about them, their love story is inspiring, they said. I don’t really know them so I didn’t get along the topic very well, but now I’ve seen it with my own eyes and I believe.”
“My brother fell in love with Luhan since he was in elementary school,” Kyungsoo says while plating the dish he cooked. “Luhan was feeling exactly the same, but they were both morons and it needed many, many years to finally get them together. The reason Minseok hyung pulled Luhan up to Cornucopia in the end of the game and forced Capitol to proclaim them as winners was because Minseok hyung wanted them to save Luhan or they both die.”
“I see,” Kai hums, “I’m not a type who believes in love or something like that. My life is far too cruel and hard it makes love is, basically impossible. But seeing them now, I guess I have to admit that I’m a poor heartless guy who never been in love?”
“You’ve never been in love?” Kyungsoo blinks in shock, “But they said you’re Capitol’s heartthrob, it would be very easy for you to get any type you wanted.”
Kai shrugs, “Everything I did on my life was actually a fair exchange with Capitol. I do what they want, they build my image. They don’t want me to be a shit, I don’t want to look depraved. That’s how people at my district survive in life, building a bigger lie to cover their previous lie.”
“To be honest, they build your image pretty well. You’re the hottest topic among girls’ gossip,” Kyungsoo goes to Kai and helps him to stand, “But it’s not make you happy, is it?”
“No,” the taller man answers, and Kyungsoo feels his face burn when Kai rests one of his cheek on his crown. “I don’t know how to be happy in hell.”
“How much time do you think people need to fall in love?”
Kai frowns, taking Kyungsoo’s question seriously. “It depends,” he says.
“Depends on what?”
“On how your heart sees it,” Kai explains, his face softens at Kyungsoo who’s trying so hard not to blush. It’s really not easy, because Kai is now smiling, and Kyungsoo feels like he’s talking about himself, about them, and he really wants to die of embarrassment.
“You can fall in love with someone on the first time you meet them, and you can, not fall in love with someone who has been with you forever. Sometimes love is not about how close the person is to you, but how that person worth your every second after your meeting with them.”
Kyungsoo snorts, “And you said you have never been in love?”
“Have never been on it doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about it,” Kai laughs. “Just so you know, I’m the best love counselor on District 2 and no one knows I’ve never been in a real relationship before.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “You’re incredible.”
On the twentieth day Kai stays, Kyungsoo had a nightmare.
When he opens his eyes, Kai is in front of him, holding his hand tightly. The taller man quickly untangles their hands when Kyungsoo realizes it.
“Sorry,” he apologizes shyly, “I didn’t mean to do anything. I was just-you were screaming and crying in your sleep and you didn’t hear me, and I was so worried. I’m so sorry.”
Kyungsoo was going to say it’s okay, I’m okay, I’m sorry I woke you from your sleep but his tears says the opposite. Kai panics again and awkwardly pulls Kyungsoo into his chest, stroking slowly on Kyungsoo’s back as the petite man sobs brokenly into the front of his shirt.
Kyungsoo doesn’t remember what was on his dream, but whatever it is, it must be something about Kai.
Kyungsoo tightens his grips on Kai’s shirt.
“So, may I know what your dream was about?”
“This is the fifth times you asked me,” Kyungsoo says, hands on his hip. “What makes you so curious about it?”
“Because…” Kai bites his lower lip hesitantly. “Because you were screaming… and you said… something-”
“What did I say?” Kyungsoo cuts in, worried. Well, he was in sleep but something came out from his mouth when he was asleep is usually something he couldn’t say out loud on awake state. That is why this is a problem.
“You said you love me,” says Kai, almost whispering, his face all red. “I-I wasn’t sure too, and probably that was only my weird thoughts, but then you said it again, more than once, and when I held your hand, you grabbed mine so I thought you were responded to my gesture…” Kai drops his head, and Kyungsoo can see his ears as red as his face. “I’m sorry Kyungsoo, I swear I didn’t mean to humiliate you or something, I just-”
“Do you think fall in love with someone is something to be humiliated about?”
Kai looks up. “I’m sorry?”
“N-nothing,” Kyungsoo looks away, but Kai holds him still.
“I heard that,” Kai is so close to shatter Kyungsoo’s bones from how tight he holds his wrist, “Say that again.”
Sighing, Kyungsoo finally gives in. “I…” he takes a deep breath, collecting all his courage. “I like y-”
The sentence never comes to an end because Kai’s lips are already shut it off.
Their second kiss is much gentler than the first.
Kyungsoo sits on the counter with Kai stands facing him, hands both on Kyungsoo’s sides and effectively trapping him. The position makes Kyungsoo’s head is higher than Kai’s, and he takes the occasion to brush the other man’s bangs from his forehead, running his fingers through his soft hair-something Kyungsoo will never able to do at his usual days.
“Wow,” Kyungsoo breathes in admiration, “you’re so beautiful.”
“I know,” Kai sneers cutely, and Kyungsoo has an urge to hit the face of this beautiful, narcissism brat with his palm. “Hey Kyungsoo, do you know why people love stargazing?” the taller asks, sounds so serious all of sudden. Kyungsoo shakes his head after thinking for a while.
“No, why is that?”
“Because beautiful things stay up there,” Kai says, his eyes crinkle into small crescents and Kyungsoo feels his heart swells.
For someone who had lost everything, love and fondness are something rare for him; and on his entire life Kyungsoo only let Minseok give him all of them. He never trusts anyone, can never open his heart for someone else. But then Kai appears, makes Kyungsoo feels even lonelier for the decision he made, but slowly he grew a special space on Kyungsoo’s heart, and now he is the reason Kyungsoo still breathes air in the morning.
Does love feel like this?
Only one person would make it feels right, Kyungsoo remembers Luhan said, and now Kyungsoo wonders if Kai is that one person Luhan was talking about, when he talked about Minseok.
Kai presses Kyungsoo’s palm to his cheek, drags him back to reality.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods, stroking Kai’s cheek with his index finger. “I was wondering why you said that when we’re only like, five inches apart.”
Kai giggles, “I was exaggerating it,” he admits. “But let’s see how pretty you’d get with no inches between us.”
Kyungsoo frowns, still trying to process the words, but Kai’s already craning his neck and kisses Kyungsoo gently, so gentle until Kyungsoo wants to cry. His hands find the way to the back of Kai’s neck and let those soft lips moving perfectly against his own.
When Minseok comes three days later, Kai opens the door for him. Minseok looks perplexed, clearly unfamiliar with his figure on his own house, and the fact that Minseok is coming as a guest, not an owner who goes to check his house if his brother and a stranger that his brother wanted to keep so badly like a treasure had destroyed the house.
“Hyung! What brings you here?” Kyungsoo greets from Kai’s back, and Minseok smiles a little.
“Nothing, just want to make sure if you guys still alive.”
“Hyung,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “stop saying sarcasm.”
Minseok wipes his face with his hand. “But I’m serious, Kyungsoo. The Peacekeepers found out this guy is nowhere to be seen at District 1 to 9, and they had started isolating District 10 and 11. You can’t keep him here any longer. Please,”
“Is that so?” Kai speaks, “I need to pack my things and go, then.”
“No!” Kyungsoo squeals, hand blocking Kai’s body as to protect him. “You can’t go anywhere, not without me!”
“Kyungsoo! What are you saying? Where’s your brain, are you crazy!?” Minseok is almost running out of patience, Kyungsoo knows that. Minseok would never use a voice three octaves higher than usual, unless he’s really angry he could eat human.
“I promised you I’d take a responsibility,” Kyungsoo says, his voice trembling. “It means I wouldn’t leave him and let The Peacekeepers get him. You taught me to be a man on my words, right, hyung? Well, I’ll show you that I’ve learnt well from you-”
“KYUNGSOO!”
“You did that to Luhan on Hunger Games, why can’t I do the same with him? I love him, hyung!”
Time stops at the end of Kyungsoo’s sentence, at Minseok’s complicated expression and Kai’s blank face, because he doesn’t really know how to react. Kyungsoo doesn’t regret what he had said, not this time, not after his mental battles about is it okay to go with his feeling or not, not about Kai.
“I’m sorry, hyung. I really am sorry. You’ve done so much for me yet this is the way I repay you… I’m such an ungrateful kid. But I decided to do this, so I’m taking all the consequences. Please understand.”
Minseok clenches his fist and throws a punch on Kyungsoo’s jaw and the other boy losing his balance, fall sitting on the floor with Kai gasps in utter shock. Kyungsoo touches his lip and traces blood on his finger, but he laughs as Minseok drops to his knees beside him and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.
“You’re the only one family I have, and you’re going to leave me? Bastard,” Minseok growls on his ear, and Kyungsoo feels hurt-not because Minseok’s words, but because the accuracy of them. Minseok used to be the person behind Kyungsoo, his guardian, to catch him when he falls, push him to go forward, protect him from the backstabbers, to keep him alive. But since the day Minseok disagreed with his choice, Kyungsoo has to stand alone, and it hurts.
“I’ll live well, so please do well too with Luhan. Adopt seven kids and name one of them after me. Okay?”
“Oh my god, fuck you,” Minseok is trying so hard not to cry, and instead, gives his brother another punch on the arm. “If someday you want to come back… I’ll be here. You don’t have to promise me anything, just-please, please, please be safe. If you have to kill, don’t be hesitated, but remember don’t kill one person with more than two arrows.”
“Why?”
“It’s a waste, you dummy. Why use so many arrows when you could kill them with one?”
Kyungsoo laughs on Minseok’s shoulder, tasting tears and blood on his tongue, but he doesn’t care.
He can see Kai smiles behind him from his peripheral, and Kyungsoo already feels safe like what Minseok wanted him to be.
The momentous change on Kyungsoo’s life starts two nights after. Luhan knocks his room’s door in the middle of the night, and Kyungsoo hasn’t even questioned how on the earth did he get in the house.
“You have to go, Kyungsoo. Right now.” Luhan clutching on his shirt, his body trembling. “The Peacekeepers saw him when Minseok came here and now he’s trying to hold them not to ambush here. You don’t have much time, hurry up!”
“W-wait! Do you mean those people beat him?”
“Yes, but it’s not something you have to worry. I’ll take care of it.”
“They could’ve killed Minseok hyung!” Kyungsoo screams, but Kai holds his waist from behind.
“That’s the way they lure you into their trap. If you come out, they’ll find out that you were the one who kept me all the time, and that means you are in danger. Your brother knew that and he tried to distract them, to give us time to escape.”
Luhan raises an eyebrow, “Impressive, and now that you got the point, hurry do something before all of us be killed.”
“We have to go now,” Kai grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and heading to the back door.
“Wait!” Kyungsoo releases himself from Kai and runs to hug Luhan quickly. “Thank you for everything, Luhan, please take care of my brother. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Me too,” Luhan ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair lovingly. “Be careful.”
Kai offers a hand and Kyungsoo takes it. He pulls Kyungsoo gently and opens the door, ready for an endless run.
“Don’t look back, trust me and we will be okay.”
Kyungsoo does.
“Well. Your district sure has a great geographical condition.”
It’s an allusive word, of course, and Kyungsoo laughs because they are now crossing the gulch in between life and death. They are getting nearer to the boundary, and the way is getting harder.
“Feeling nostalgic to Hunger Games?”
“Yeah, almost.” Kai grabs Kyungsoo’s arm and pulls him aside. “Hey, watch out the huge rock over there-oh my God, wait, hold my hand. Wait here, I’ll make sure anything under it is stable enough to step.”
Kyungsoo smiles, doesn’t protest. Kai’s free hand holding into the side of the cliff and his foot carefully digging forward, and when he feels it’s safe enough, he guides Kyungsoo to walk and purposely jerks him into his body. The smaller man stumbles on his way and cries, and Kai laughs softly into his hair.
“Sorry, you were so cute.”
“If I died, my brother and Luhan would break your neck and hang your body on their closet, you know.”
“I know, I know, sorry.” Kai stops laughing and puts back his serious face, craning his long neck and squints to see far ahead. “I think I see a cave, let’s have a break there. We can continue after the sun is down.”
“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks, worried. They haven’t even reached halfway and Kai already wants to stop.
“Yes, just feel something weird on my stomach, probably the wound is open and bleeding again. Not serious, I’ll cover it with cloth or something.”
“You’re not fully recovered yet, why do you keep insisting to walk first? Now shut up and let me help you. All you have to do is show me the way.”
Kai stretches a hand to gently touch Kyungsoo’s face. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, “for everything you did for me, for loving me, thank you.”
“Thank you too,” Kyungsoo replies, ignoring Kai’s “For what?” and soon following by his childish whines because Kyungsoo keeps walking and not answering him.
For being that one person, thank you.
The wound under Kai’s rib is bleeding again, but he calmly does everything by himself and Kyungsoo can only watch how the tanned skin man pulls out his shirt and expertly wrap a thin cloth around his torso. The color red soaks into the cloth when Kai’s done, and Kyungsoo grimaces.
“Does it hurt?”
“No, not really,” Kai pillowing his head with one of his arm. “Now, which one do you prefer, seeing me shirtless or help me with this?”
“Don’t make me slap you on the face,” Kyungsoo snatches the shirt from Kai’s hand and helps him to get dressed, and Kyungsoo isn’t surprised anymore when Kai pulls him until he falls on top of him, Kai’s face right in front of him.
Kai grins, kisses Kyungsoo’s lips without a warning and Kyungsoo blushes-doesn’t expect it at all. The taller man pecks his lips three times and says the word “I”, “love”, and “you” on each peck. Kyungsoo groans, this feels so embarrassing, but he can’t stop himself from feeling happy about it. He accidentally touches Kai’s scar and the other man’s muscles tensing, holding back a pain.
“Your-your wound, is it okay?”
Kai nods eagerly, already relaxing. “I feel better with you, like this. So don’t move, and just enjoy the most beautiful scenery right ahead your eyes.”
Kyungsoo smiles, although he really wants to hit Kai with something. “Don’t act so cheesy, we’re on a cave under a cliff, not in drama.”
Kai wraps his hand tighter around Kyungsoo’s waist, half-forcing Kyungsoo to rest his head on his chest. Kyungsoo finally gives in, and blood rushing to his face when his ears catch Kai’s heartbeat, on the same rhythm as him, and how his chest moving up and down along his breath.
It’s like a melody Kyungsoo doesn’t want to stop hearing. It’s something Kyungsoo wants to keep holding, so he can feel it under his skin, with every beats of his heart, on every breath he takes, at every blink of his eyes.
Because it’s Kai, and Kyungsoo finally knows what feels right means.
The sun is glowing orange when Kyungsoo looks around the cave.
“Are we going now?”
Kai nods, rolling up his sleeves and offer a hand to the smaller man.
“Are you ready?”
Kyungsoo nods, takes the hand and lets himself run, run, and run.
As long as he’s with Kai, he knows everything would be okay.
*oHMYGODJHSJDB IM SORRY. IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY. this took forever to write and guess what i went on hiatus during midtest last week l o l. and i'm sorry this is freakin 8000+++ words like oh my god i don't even ship kaisoo???
*unedited bcs too tired lol im an ass
*this is for kavie because this is all her fault, for kadeph because she ships kaisoo
*for bae aka hana bcs she ships kaisoo too lol
*once again, i'm sorry. bye.
Fandom : EXO
Pairing : Kai/Kyungsoo
Length : 8.7k words
Summary : Hunger Games!AU. Reasons why that guy named Kai is a trouble: 1) He made Kyungsoo falls. 2) He made Kyungsoo falls, hard.
A/N: Set in the same universe with Frozen Heart, but not a continuation.
take my hand (and come with me)
Kyungsoo used to believe in a theory that everyone has their own first meeting with their true love in a beautiful way.
Kyungsoo has seen it on his brother, Minseok, with Luhan-his love, his life, his everything. Kyungsoo is very happy for Minseok, but he can’t tell it doesn’t envy him. The happiness on Minseok’s face, the smile that radiating from five hundred meters away every time he’s with Luhan is something Kyungsoo kind of wants to have. Because he’s not quite sure how does fall in love feels.
“It’s amazing,” Luhan says when Kyungsoo asks him that day, as Luhan helps Kyungsoo to prepare dinner and they wait for Minseok who’s going for his daily hunt. “But you need the right person to make it feels right.”
“And how do I know which person is right?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.
Luhan smiles fondly at Kyungsoo’s question. “You’d just know it,” he answers. “Because only one person would make it feels right.”
Kyungsoo wants to ask again, but Minseok is home and Luhan runs to welcome him, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes when they share a soft, tender kiss on the lips.
“Aw, look at that kid being jealous of us,” Minseok grins as he pulls Luhan closer to his side. “We’ve talked about this, brother, remember?”
“About what?” Luhan cuts in.
“Kyungsoo needs someone to take care of him,” Minseok answers. “He has been alone for too long.”
“Well, sorry but I can take care of myself very well,” Kyungsoo mumbles adamantly.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Minseok softly explains. “I’ll go to the Camp frequently from now on, mentoring the tributes. I can’t leave you all by yourself here while I’m away, so I will strongly recommend you to have someone around. You won’t know when will you need a help, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo laughs. “It’s okay, nothing really happens here and I don’t think my life is in danger. Well, if so, I can shout for help; everyone knows I’m the younger brother of Hunger Games’ winner and I have portion of your special rights as well,” Kyungsoo grins, and get Minseok’s hit on his head in return.
“Our parents didn’t raise you to be an annoying brat, kid,” the elder says, and Luhan giggles beside him. The brotherhood between the two is very amusing, and sometimes Luhan forgets Kyungsoo isn’t Minseok brother by blood. Minseok gave his all to protect his brother, and Kyungsoo most likely would do the same if it needed.
“But hyung, you and Luhan aren’t going to Camp soon, are you? I don’t think the mentoring season is started yet, everyone is still drowning on euphoria of that District 2 winner.”
“You’re right, and this district is still mourning of Jisung and Jimin’s death. I and Luhan are going to their funeral tomorrow, and probably stay there until the condition is getting better.”
Kyungsoo frowns at Minseok’s upshot of his daily hunt. “I see? So you hunted these much to keep me from starving? Wow, you’re such a blessing from above.”
“Yeah,” Minseok ruffles his brother’s hair playfully. “But half of them are my food supplies for the trip, and as a blessing from above now I ask you to kindly cook them, okay?”
Kyungsoo glares at the elder, and Luhan laughs again.
“Don’t forget to lock the door when you’re out for hunt, or when you’re just out. Don’t forget to eat, or you’ll sick. Don’t sleep too late. Don’t forget to check the windows before you go to sleep, don’t burn the house. Understand?”
Kyungsoo blinks in disbelief at Minseok’s instruction. “Do you think I’m dumb?”
“Kyungsoo is right, don’t be so overdo, Minseok. It’s not like you’re going to leave him for a war. We can still manage to contact him.” Luhan says, half-laughing, gently soothing his lover by patting his back.
“Nah, see? Luhan is my favorite brother now, sorry I had to kick you from the list.”
Minseok glares at both Luhan and Kyungsoo, before gives in and sighs loudly. “Okay, I know you know what you have to do but please remember this one. Do not ever bring any stranger into my house, for any reason. I don’t care. If I smell a smallest sign of strangers here, I’ll bury you alive along with this house, do you understand?”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you’re late, now go.”
“Kyungsoo!”
“I understand, hyung,” Kyungsoo repeats, emphasizing every syllable, “Though I feel offended because you said that like I’m a type who likes playing with strangers.”
“Nobody knows,” Minseok shrugs. “People can change by circumstances, so do you.”
“Okay, stop, both of you,” Luhan quickly cuts as hearing a bicker between two brothers in the morning isn’t something he planned to. “Take care, Kyungsoo. And be careful. If you need something let me or Minseok know immediately, okay?”
“Okay, Luhan. Have a nice and safe trip.”
Luhan smiles, and Minseok drags him away while muttering something that sounds like “Don’t spoil him, it grows him to be annoying. I should’ve sent him into military,” and Kyungsoo scrunches his nose, slamming the door shut.
Kyungsoo turns on the television and the fake effervescent is showing on the screen. Fake, obviously, since people in Panem are really good at acting. Although it’s still an irony how there are people wasting their money and time on an annual sickening ceremony whilst other people crying over their beloved one’s death. Kyungsoo remembers Minseok had said, “If you want to be a part of Panem, the only thing you should do is being society’s trash. They are basically trashes, hiding behind make up and properties. But they are also the meanest creature ever alive. They are laughing with you, but you wouldn’t know whether they really want to laugh or secretly planning your murder.” And Kyungsoo believes that.
“Looks like everyone is in a blissful mood right now,” someone on TV says, “unfortunately our star can’t join us here. But still, the party goes on. Everyone, are you enjoying this right now?”
A lot of loud screams and joyful cheers echo themselves to where Kyungsoo stands, the boy furrowing his eyebrows to the screen. He can imagine how people who lost their family member react to this set up exhilaration-how eerie those screams sounded for them. But television only broadcasting what Capitol wants them to broadcast and everything is always live. As if they want to make the wound always fresh and no one could forget that Capitol always got anything they wanted.
Kyungsoo doesn’t really watch television, it only has one channel-Capitol’s Channel, and everything on it is a pain in the ass, Minseok said, because Panem is a bitch. Minseok is not very vocal at swearing, but the slightest thing of Capitol always got him boiled in anger. Kyungsoo remembers the suffering he had when Minseok was in the game, watching every step of his brother felt like cutting his own nerves a millimeter each second, and if his brother didn’t win, he could’ve died, too.
So Kyungsoo turns off the television, he’s safe as long as Capitol didn’t establish the whole districts to watch the publication they made. Because when they did, you couldn’t turn off the TV and, being forced to watch. Usually the news isn’t good, but the cheers will always there (and Kyungsoo starts to think they probably have it recorded).
“Nothing much on TV, huh?”
Kyungsoo turns around, shocked. “Chanyeol, you scared me.”
“Sorry,” Chanyeol grins, “I was knocking but no answer and the front door wasn’t locked, so I peeked inside. You’re alone here?”
Kyungsoo nods. “Yeah, Minseok hyung and Luhan attend District 12 tributes’ funeral, and they didn’t tell the exact time they would back, probably until the euphoria is done.”
“Panem is going crazy with this year’s winner. He’s Capitol’s heartthrob, everyone loves him. That’s what I heard.”
“I don’t quite remember how he looks like, but I did hear he’s famous. He’s from District 2, man, how could Capitol not love him?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “It’s not a secret anymore that Capitol trained them illegally before sent them into Hunger Games, but yeah, they’re not always that lucky to be Capitol’s favorite to win.”
“Wow, so Minseok hyung was right about them.”
“What did he say?” asks Chanyeol, suppressing a smile.
“They are pain. In the ass.”
Chanyeol laughs. “What a nice phrase. Anyway, I came here to ask your brother to hunt with me, but since he’s not here, I guess I’ll take my leave now. Tell me if you need something, okay? I’ll make sure to help if I can.”
Kyungsoo nods, his face warm for a reason he can’t explain. He silently observes Chanyeol’s figure, but he can’t find that thing he’s looking for. Probably he isn’t the one, Kyungsoo thinks, but he admits Chanyeol is a reliable friend.
“If you’re going to hunt, I don’t mind to go with you. How does it sound?”
“Real good,” Chanyeol responds happily. “Come on, we should hurry. We don’t have much time.”
“Hey, Chanyeol,”
“Hm?”
“Where do you think the winner is right now?”
Chanyeol frowns at Kyungsoo, carefully stepping his foot on the hard ground below him. “What do you mean? Of course he’s in the Capitol now, being a king, Panem’s everything. They wouldn’t stop broadcasting the winning celebration for the rest of the year, like how they did to your brother last year.”
“But the TV said he wasn’t with them at the party,” Kyungsoo says, “don’t you think it’s weird? I mean, the party isn’t stopped or cancelled at all, but what’s the point of celebration when the winner isn’t there?”
Chanyeol hums, “It’s indeed weird,” he nods in agreement. “But let’s say the winner is so fashionista and he needs more than 24 hours to get ready for a celebration? It could be, I saw his prep team on TV some days ago, and they looked as bright as their tribute. For a district where the rules are stern, they are creepy.”
Kyungsoo laughs, but his laughs cut off when a familiar figure passes by, some meters ahead them. He hurriedly pulls Chanyeol’s arm and hide behind a thicket.
“Kyungsoo, what’s-”
“The Peacekeepers.” Kyungsoo whispers, his voice trembling. “What are they doing here? Catching illegal hunters? Did we break the rule?”
“I don’t think so; we aren’t even close to the metal fence on the boundary. It should be okay,” Chanyeol calms him, “but it’s unusual to see them around when we have no conflict against them. I guess someone made a mistake and they were sent to arrest them.”
“Probably,” Kyungsoo finally found his breath again. “Let’s separate here, if we come together it’d be suspicious.”
Chanyeol nods. “Okay, be careful.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Kyungsoo walks himself home and almost tripping to a body lying on the front door.
A bloody man’s body.
Kyungsoo’s eyes go wider in an instant and quickly approaching the man, shaking him, making sure he’s not dead. Luckily he’s still alive-and dying-his breathing dashed when he tries to whisper something on Kyungsoo’s ears.
“The-P-Peacekeeper-” he says clear enough for Kyungsoo to hear, “They-attacked m-me…”
“Okay, I got it. I’ll get you inside,” Kyungsoo trying to get a help, but there are no people around and Kyungsoo doesn’t want to catch Peacekeepers’ attention. The fact that this guy was attacked by them is surprising enough-the one who had physical contact with Peacekeepers is either a prisoner or a prisoner-to-be.
He barely remembers Minseok’s warning about stranger.
Kyungsoo isn’t really good at medical things, and he can’t remember much what his real mother, who was a doctor, did to her patients. His adoptive mother-Minseok’s mother-was also good at treating wound and she had plenty stock of antiseptic liquid that he and Minseok used to play with it when they were roleplaying as doctor and patient. Minseok got her dexterity on this, and now Kyungsoo trying to recall what did Minseok do when he applied his skill on Hunger Games.
“First, clean the wound with water. If it’s a serious open wound, use a towel. Wipe it gently and don’t rub. Don’t use the same side of the towel to wipe against the wound if you’ve rubbed it on other place. Drain the water, replace it with the new one and put in few drops of antiseptic and redo all the steps,” Kyungsoo says to himself like he’s memorizing a textbook, doesn’t have a time to realize the other man lying on the couch is smiling on his act.
“Uh, excuse me, it’d probably be a little bit… painful, and if you’re uncomfortable please tell me. I’m not good at this, but I have no choice. I’ll get you a doctor after I cleaned your wounds.”
The other man nods, closes his eyes and Kyungsoo gulps. Oh my God, how if I kill this man by accidentally cut his broken nerves when I’m wiping his blood…
Well, it’s too much, Kyungsoo’s logic side won this time. He carefully wipes the towel on the man’s skin, a lot more careful when he reaches the open wound. Kyungsoo needs ten minutes to finish wiping his arms, and he lets out a relief sigh when it’s done. The blood is not dripping anymore and only some stains left, and it looks less scary.
“I’m going to clean your face, please keep your eyes shut for a while.”
Kyungsoo squeezes the towel dry and wiping the face slowly, as his thought running and he feels this man seems familiar. And a sudden jolt hits Kyungsoo on the head he almost drops the towel on the other’s face.
“Oh my God,” he covers his mouth with one palm, trying not to shriek out. “Oh my God, you’re… him?! Hunger Games’ winner from District 2?!”
Kyungsoo can’t believe his own eyes. He can’t believe the whole situation right now. The winner from latest Hunger Games is lying on the couch on his house, body covered with wounds, almost die due to too much lost blood in front of him, but luckily that didn’t happen. Also, it explains why The Peacekeepers are on standby on the streets, to find him.
This is trouble. A big trouble. If Minseok finds out, he’d skin him alive.
Kyungsoo had finished wiping all his wounds from head to toe, and already gave him a change of clothes. And Kyungsoo probably needs ten hundred years to process the circumstances.
“Uh, are you hungry?” Kyungsoo asks awkwardly, “The foods may not as good as in your district, but at least we’re not starving here.”
“Anything is fine,” he smiles, a little too stingy to be called a smile because only one of the corner of his lips moving sideways. It must be a smirk, but Kyungsoo really doesn’t want to tell how his smirk looks attractive-even with his face swollen and all.
“I’ll be back with your dinner, uh, just some minutes.” Kyungsoo scratches his nape, feeling dumb all of sudden. He’s not that bad at socialize before, where do all his confidence and usual side go?
Kyungsoo was about to leave for the kitchen when the other man calls him, “Excuse me?”
“Yes?” Kyungsoo turns around nervously.
A second pause and that fucking smirk formed again on his lips.
“You can call me Kai.”
Kyungsoo swears on himself, but still trying to speak. “Okay. Kai. It’s a good name.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he has to hate on Kai, his smirk, or both of them.
He swears again, loudly this time, with water running from the sink so no one could hear.
Kyungsoo is seriously on trouble.
“I’m running away from the celebration, and attacked by The Peacekeepers when I was trying to enter District 11,” Kai explains. “I see, so Capitol sent their servants to get ready and capture me at any time on every district. Nice move, but I already made my escape and nothing can get me back to them.”
“What makes you run away? Didn’t Hunger Games winner get all the finest in life?”
“That’s what you got from television,” Kai sighs deeply. “But actually, it’s even worse than being punished. I was trained for the game since I was kid, and the motivation for us to win wasn’t the finest we’d get after winning, but the death waiting for us if we failed on please Capitol.”
“But you did? I mean, you won the game?”
Kai shakes his head weakly. “I didn’t win the way they wanted it to be,” he says. “When it was only two of us left-me, and the boy from your district, I didn’t kill him like what they instructed me before. He killed himself, but they exaggerating it to hide the fact someone had killed himself on the game when it’s something definitely shouldn’t be done. But they knew, and they blamed it on me.”
“So you were running to avoid the blame? Wait-it’s not like I’m blaming you too, I just asked.”
“I’m running from being their puppets, doing as told on a show, smiling happily in front of cameras, attending parties, but after the publication ended they’d torture me on my fault until my death.” Kai takes a deep breath and grimaces when doing so hurts his rib. “Hunger Games is never an easy business, especially for tributes from my district, and District 1. The worst part is, mostly Peacekeepers recruited from my district, it’d be a piece of cake for them to find and take me.”
“They wouldn’t find you here. They never really pay attention to people on District 12.”
“I hope so,” Kai licks his lower lip, tasting blood on it. “Being a winner in Hunger Games isn’t something to be proud of. Unless you have a thing for killing people and the fact that you had survived in cannibal way makes you happy. You wouldn’t stop acting for them, reading the script and playing the role, until they decided you’re not useful anymore and replace you with another one, and they wouldn’t care whether you’re a trash or a crown-as long as you’re not rebelling on them.”
Kyungsoo bites his lip, “My brother never said that.”
“Your brother?” Kai frowns, “Your brother played in Hunger Games?”
“Yeah, my brother is Minseok, last year’s winner.”
Kai chuckles lightly. “I didn’t recognize your face, sorry.”
“It’s okay, we’re not blood relatives after all. But let’s not talk about it, it’s a long story.”
A long silent consumes them. Kyungsoo stands up, going to awkwardly leave like how he always avoids an even more awkward situation, but Kai holds his wrist. “Wait,”
“D-do you need something?”
“No, but I feel weird talking to someone I don’t even know his name.”
Kyungsoo sighs, a mental battle occurring on his head. But without listening to the result he suddenly blurts out, “I’m Kyungsoo.”
And he regrets it straightaway.
“Kyungsoo,” Kai repeats, looks amused. “Okay, thank you for everything, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo is so dead when Minseok comes back.
It’s been four days since Kai stayed on his house, and each day Kyungsoo had to deal with various strange things came to his mind. Well, he’s not going to lie that Kai is so good-looking, and his tan skin is so soft when Kyungsoo accidentally brushed them with his fingers when he helps Kai changes his clothes or when he cleans up his wounds, and his strong arm muscles, and his slim abdomen that is so hard not to look at-and he’s two heads taller than Kyungsoo so Kyungsoo’s head would press on his broad chest when Kai is holding onto him to stand.
It’s been four days and Kyungsoo had less and less sleep. What’s wrong with him, for God’s sake?
It’s already four days so Kyungsoo decides he has to tell Chanyeol about it. He doesn’t want to go crazy all alone.
“Is it okay if I leave you to hunt? I won’t be long, and I’ll lock the front door if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, take your time, I’m okay. I’ve burdened you so much so I can’t complain,”
“No, you’re not,” Kyungsoo slings his quiver on his shoulder. “I’ll be back soon.”
Kai nods, smiling. “Have fun.”
“What? Who did you say staying in your house right now?!”
“Hey, keep your voice down!” Kyungsoo punches Chanyeol’s long arm, “I told you not to shriek, remember?”
“Sorry, sorry, I was really surprised,” Chanyeol puts down his bow and sits on the hard soil beside Kyungsoo. “That must be why the Peacekeepers are everywhere around the district?”
“Seems like it,” Kyungsoo nods. “And he was injured pretty badly, I don’t think it’s possible for him to leave soon. In other side, how do I explain that to Minseok hyung? He’d kill me.”
“It’s not your fault he ended up dying in front of your door. He’ll understand.”
Kyungsoo sighs loudly. “It’s not that he won’t understand… it’s just, well, Minseok hyung is Hunger Games’ winner and he had enough issues against them, and it’s obviously far from his please to have another winner who also has issues against Capitol in our place, but it’s too late to send him to other’s place without raising suspiciousness.”
“When will they come back?”
“I don’t know, and I won’t know. Luhan did tell me something like, they could still manage to contact me from where they are, but I don’t know how. And if so, it means trouble for me because they already saw I brought a stranger inside.”
Chanyeol frowns, “Your position is not good, man. Well let’s hoping they wouldn’t come back anytime soon. It should give you enough time to think of what will you do with him and your brother later.”
Kyungsoo nods and Chanyeol offers a hand to him, helping him to get up. “Now let’s go, don’t make him wait too long.”
Kyungsoo accepts Chanyeol’s hand, laughing. Chanyeol raises an eyebrow, “Why are you laughing?”
“It’s you,” Kyungsoo says within his laugh. “You didn’t even forbid me from letting him stay. You were just shocked when I told you who he was, and later you acted like he’s an old friend who comes to visit.”
Chanyeol chuckles, “You’re old enough to decide for yourself whether something is good or bad. I don’t know the situation other than what you’ve told me, so it’s not my area to interfere.”
“Stop talking so wise, you’ll look ten years older than you really are.”
Chanyeol only laughs.
Kai was trying to walk when Kyungsoo returns. His step is obviously unstable and Kyungsoo quickly catches him before he falls and hit his head on the table surface.
“Sorry, was trying to get myself a drink.”
“Sorry I didn’t prepare it for you,” Kyungsoo replies, helps Kai to sit properly on the couch and, accidentally, bumps his nose to Kai’s. “Oops,” Kyungsoo tries to laugh, because he clearly doesn’t need clarity on his rapid heartbeat-when Kai’s face is way too close to him, when Kyungsoo can see his reflection behind those beautiful dark eyes.
“Kyungsoo, we’re hom-WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Kyungsoo and Kai jumps apart, and Kyungsoo’s already wide eyes getting wider to see Minseok and Luhan, or specifically furious Minseok and confused Luhan, standing in the front door.
“What did I say about bringing a stranger into the house?!” Minseok roars, his eyes flaring up and are more than ready to shoot Kyungsoo with laser or something like that. “What have I told you about not to get involved with some bastards who will only cause you trouble!”
“Minseok, let him explain,” Luhan cuts in, and gives Kyungsoo an eye gesture to quickly say something before Minseok gets out of control.
“I’m sorry about everything, hyung, it’s not like I didn’t listen to you. I did, but the situation was-well, emergency? I found him lying in front of our door after I went hunting and he got serious wounds on his body, so I treated him.” Kyungsoo takes a breath, “Besides, he’s Kai. And The Peacekeepers out there are looking for him.”
Luhan gasps in utter shock on the last sentence Kyungsoo spoke of. “Kai?” he repeats, fully emphasizing the word. “You mean that Kai, who had killed my Jisung on the game? Who had taken his opportunity to live his life after he came back from the game?”
“He didn’t kill Jisung! He-” Kyungsoo stops talking when Kai squeezes his hand, and Minseok shoots a firm look at him.
“What did you say?”
“No,” Kyungsoo drops his head, “I’m sorry, hyung. And I’m sorry too, Luhan.”
Minseok glances at a silently sobbing Luhan, pulls him closer and Luhan starts crying on his shoulder. He looks back and forth between Kai and Kyungsoo before says, “Kyungsoo, we need to talk.”
Kyungsoo knew how much Luhan loved Jisung. He was a lovely little boy, living near Luhan’s house with his parents and they often spent a day together when Jisung’s parents went to work. Luhan cried when he heard Jisung was another tribute chosen with Jimin to be on Hunger Games, and cried even more when Jisung died, on the last minute of the game, killed by Kai, or so everyone thought. Kyungsoo gets the reasons why Luhan must’ve hated Kai so much, but he can’t override the fact that Kai is also the victim here.
The problem is, he doesn’t know how to tell Minseok and Luhan.
“You’ve never met him before. You wouldn’t know if he had an ulterior motive that let himself being attacked to secretly trap you, Kyungsoo.”
“No, he wasn’t!” Kyungsoo protests, doesn’t know why he has to fight for Kai this much-because his brother was right. “Hyung, he was lucky to reach here alive after those people beat him. Didn’t you see how Peacekeepers can easily kill someone without any consideration?”
“And what makes you stubbornly keep him here in our place? Kyungsoo, I’ve been targeted by Capitol since a long time ago for things I’ve done in my Hunger Games era, are you going to kill me by letting him eat and sleep peacefully here? Didn’t you know your brother is the most suspected person in the whole district? It’d be so easy for Peacekeepers to drop their suspiciousness on me, on us!”
Kyungsoo can’t argue that-Minseok was right, everything he said was right. But something on Kyungsoo doesn’t want Kai to go and let Peacekeepers capture him to get him back to his district, and the mental image of Kai being tortured is too much for him.
It’s only the fourth day of his meeting with Kai and Kyungsoo is already gone crazy.
“So, who else does know about him?”
“Only me and Chanyeol,” answers Kyungsoo, and he feels Minseok is tensing again. “But Chanyeol has nothing to do with this, so please don’t snap at him too. It’s my fault, hyung.”
“Of course it’s yours,” Minseok says, his sentence jabs Kyungsoo on the stomach so hard. He shifts his glance to Luhan and strokes him slowly on the back, his face soften in just a span of a second. “I’m going out for a while, will you be okay?”
Luhan nods, “I’m okay, it’s not a big deal. Sorry, I still can’t get over Jisung’s death and meet him here right now makes me so angry and sad, but it’s not everyone’s fault. Don’t worry, Minseok.”
“I understand, but it doesn’t solve the matter. Don’t go anywhere until I come back, Kyungsoo. We haven’t finished here.”
Someone calls Minseok before he leaves the room and Kyungsoo needs five seconds to realize it was his own voice. He gulps nervously, now he has both Luhan and Minseok’s eyes on him, waiting for him to speak.
“I’ll take the responsibility,” Kyungsoo says, not sounds that confident but this is the last thing he could think of. “I’ll take the responsibility of him and myself. I promise.”
Minseok walks away without saying anything.
Chanyeol has expected Minseok’s arrival, if Minseok could say, the way he smiles knowingly when he opens his door for Minseok.
“Welcome back, hyung,” he says, “It hasn’t been an hour passed since I talked with Kyungsoo about you.”
“But you’ve expected that I would come to see you, right?” Minseok asks, trying not to sound like an accusation, but Chanyeol only nods, still smiling.
“Judging from the matter, yes, although my knowledge is merely about he’s staying at your place right now. Kyungsoo just told me today, so I don’t know another detail.”
“I don’t know what makes him so stubborn,” Minseok sighs, “You know the consequences and how dangerous the situation is for people around me, right? Why didn’t you stop him? Having Kai in my place is equal to surrender yourself to be eliminated by Capitol.”
Chanyeol takes a deep breath, “I know, but it’s not up to me to decide. Kyungsoo knows what he does, hyung, he’s not a kid.”
Silent. Minseok knows something’s wrong, but he can’t pinpoint it. Probably the wrong thing is that Chanyeol is right about Kyungsoo.
“I thought you liked my brother,” Minseok whispers, “I thought if that was true, it’d make you do… something.”
“I do, it is true,” Chanyeol smiles a little. “But the sparks on his eyes when he was talking about him is something I wouldn’t have. That’s how I assure myself that Kyungsoo isn’t playing right now; he is serious with his decision. He knew you wouldn’t agree, but he talked to me not to find a way to move him somewhere else, but how to make you understand the circumstance.”
“And why did he do that?”
Chanyeol doesn’t answer, he points to his chest and Minseok knows the answer. It’s love.
Minseok feels bitter on his tongue.
Kyungsoo sits beside Kai in the living room, but Luhan is not there. Minseok scans the room, but he can’t find him. “Where’s Luhan?” he finally asks, his eyes meet Kai’s and he quickly looks away.
“In your room,” Kyungsoo says. “He has been there since you left and hasn’t come out. Probably he’s still angry?”
“I’ll talk to him,” Minseok says quietly. “I’ll stay on Luhan’s place for few days, so you can use my room and he can use your room. Don’t do inappropriate things or I’ll skin you both alive and hang your heads on Panem’s downtown. Does that clear enough?”
Kyungsoo gapes, “You let him stay?”
Minseok nods, “Only until you can decide what to do next with him, since we can’t hide him forever. Remember, I won’t lay my hand on this. Everything will be done as what you said.” He shakes his head and breathes, “You’re my brother, Kyungsoo. I don’t want you to get hurt, really. You’re the only family I have left and I would go through anything to keep you safe, but I can’t do it this time. I’m sorry.”
Kyungsoo throws himself into Minseok’s body, hugs him tight. “I’m sorry I disappointed you. I won’t get hurt, I won’t let anyone hurt. I promise.”
“Please stay alive,” is what Minseok whispers to his ear, and Kyungsoo knows his life wouldn’t be the same anymore.
“You have a nice room,” Kai comments, gazing through his new place to sleep after four days deal with the couch (Kyungsoo didn’t let him sleep in any room because Kai’s presence on the house is illegal enough).
“My brother arranged it all for me,” Kyungsoo replies, carefully sits Kai on the mattress. “His ideas are brilliant almost at everything, though he’s a simple guy. He has no interest in fashion but always looks good at everything he wears.”
Kai chuckles, “You adore your brother so much, huh?”
Kyungsoo smiles, “He’s everything for me. Sometimes he treats me like a baby, being an annoyingly overprotective brother, but it’s only because he wants to protect me. We argue often, but this is the first time my brother completely disagrees with something I do.”
“I’m sorry I made you and your brother fight,” Kai grimaces lightly, feeling guilty.
“Don’t be,” Kyungsoo comforts him, “Maybe it’s-it’s just the time where I need to stand on my own feet.”
“You’re a brave man,” Kai says, sounds someway sincere.
“Not any braver than a Hunger Games winner,” Kyungsoo was meant that for a joke, but he himself can feel the bitter on it. Kyungsoo is on his way to challenge Capitol, which means he has no difference with both Kai and his brother who had done it before. It also means: he may die.
That’s why Minseok pleaded him to stay alive.
“If you need something, my room is next to yours. But since you can’t walk, you can knock the wall behind the headboard, if I go outside I’ll inform you first in case I didn’t reply to your knock.”
Kai nods. “Thank you, Kyungsoo, thank you so much.”
Kyungsoo nods back and quietly closes the door. He leans his back on the doorframe, sighing heavily.
For the first time on his entire life, Kyungsoo feels so lonely.
It’s the eleventh day Kai stays at Kyungsoo’s place. It’s been safe so far, but it doesn’t low Kyungsoo’s guard because the Peacekeepers are still everywhere, surrounding the district. When he left for something, Kyungsoo would feel worry all the time, trying to get home as soon as possible. And Kai’s warm smile-it’s no longer a smirk, to Kyungsoo’s relief-would greet him as he opened the door, and it melted away the burdens on his shoulder.
Kai’s wounds are getting better, but it may need some more time for them to heal properly. Kyungsoo feels the itch on his tongue to ask Kai about what would you do after this almost every day, but he manages to hold it because he doesn’t want to be harsh.
After all the days, Kyungsoo knows he doesn’t want him to leave.
“I saw you talked with your brother yesterday.”
“Oh, yes,” Kyungsoo looks up to throw the other man a little smile from the kitchen counter, “we talked a bit. Minseok hyung just wanted to know how everything’s going.”
“Is his lover still mad at me?” Kai asks, his voice implies a slightest hint of fear.
“You mean Luhan? Minseok hyung didn’t tell me anything about it, but Luhan couldn’t stay mad for so long with my brother beside him. I can guarantee that.”
Kai chuckles, “They really are a legendary couple. Everyone in my district talks about them, their love story is inspiring, they said. I don’t really know them so I didn’t get along the topic very well, but now I’ve seen it with my own eyes and I believe.”
“My brother fell in love with Luhan since he was in elementary school,” Kyungsoo says while plating the dish he cooked. “Luhan was feeling exactly the same, but they were both morons and it needed many, many years to finally get them together. The reason Minseok hyung pulled Luhan up to Cornucopia in the end of the game and forced Capitol to proclaim them as winners was because Minseok hyung wanted them to save Luhan or they both die.”
“I see,” Kai hums, “I’m not a type who believes in love or something like that. My life is far too cruel and hard it makes love is, basically impossible. But seeing them now, I guess I have to admit that I’m a poor heartless guy who never been in love?”
“You’ve never been in love?” Kyungsoo blinks in shock, “But they said you’re Capitol’s heartthrob, it would be very easy for you to get any type you wanted.”
Kai shrugs, “Everything I did on my life was actually a fair exchange with Capitol. I do what they want, they build my image. They don’t want me to be a shit, I don’t want to look depraved. That’s how people at my district survive in life, building a bigger lie to cover their previous lie.”
“To be honest, they build your image pretty well. You’re the hottest topic among girls’ gossip,” Kyungsoo goes to Kai and helps him to stand, “But it’s not make you happy, is it?”
“No,” the taller man answers, and Kyungsoo feels his face burn when Kai rests one of his cheek on his crown. “I don’t know how to be happy in hell.”
“How much time do you think people need to fall in love?”
Kai frowns, taking Kyungsoo’s question seriously. “It depends,” he says.
“Depends on what?”
“On how your heart sees it,” Kai explains, his face softens at Kyungsoo who’s trying so hard not to blush. It’s really not easy, because Kai is now smiling, and Kyungsoo feels like he’s talking about himself, about them, and he really wants to die of embarrassment.
“You can fall in love with someone on the first time you meet them, and you can, not fall in love with someone who has been with you forever. Sometimes love is not about how close the person is to you, but how that person worth your every second after your meeting with them.”
Kyungsoo snorts, “And you said you have never been in love?”
“Have never been on it doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about it,” Kai laughs. “Just so you know, I’m the best love counselor on District 2 and no one knows I’ve never been in a real relationship before.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “You’re incredible.”
On the twentieth day Kai stays, Kyungsoo had a nightmare.
When he opens his eyes, Kai is in front of him, holding his hand tightly. The taller man quickly untangles their hands when Kyungsoo realizes it.
“Sorry,” he apologizes shyly, “I didn’t mean to do anything. I was just-you were screaming and crying in your sleep and you didn’t hear me, and I was so worried. I’m so sorry.”
Kyungsoo was going to say it’s okay, I’m okay, I’m sorry I woke you from your sleep but his tears says the opposite. Kai panics again and awkwardly pulls Kyungsoo into his chest, stroking slowly on Kyungsoo’s back as the petite man sobs brokenly into the front of his shirt.
Kyungsoo doesn’t remember what was on his dream, but whatever it is, it must be something about Kai.
Kyungsoo tightens his grips on Kai’s shirt.
“So, may I know what your dream was about?”
“This is the fifth times you asked me,” Kyungsoo says, hands on his hip. “What makes you so curious about it?”
“Because…” Kai bites his lower lip hesitantly. “Because you were screaming… and you said… something-”
“What did I say?” Kyungsoo cuts in, worried. Well, he was in sleep but something came out from his mouth when he was asleep is usually something he couldn’t say out loud on awake state. That is why this is a problem.
“You said you love me,” says Kai, almost whispering, his face all red. “I-I wasn’t sure too, and probably that was only my weird thoughts, but then you said it again, more than once, and when I held your hand, you grabbed mine so I thought you were responded to my gesture…” Kai drops his head, and Kyungsoo can see his ears as red as his face. “I’m sorry Kyungsoo, I swear I didn’t mean to humiliate you or something, I just-”
“Do you think fall in love with someone is something to be humiliated about?”
Kai looks up. “I’m sorry?”
“N-nothing,” Kyungsoo looks away, but Kai holds him still.
“I heard that,” Kai is so close to shatter Kyungsoo’s bones from how tight he holds his wrist, “Say that again.”
Sighing, Kyungsoo finally gives in. “I…” he takes a deep breath, collecting all his courage. “I like y-”
The sentence never comes to an end because Kai’s lips are already shut it off.
Their second kiss is much gentler than the first.
Kyungsoo sits on the counter with Kai stands facing him, hands both on Kyungsoo’s sides and effectively trapping him. The position makes Kyungsoo’s head is higher than Kai’s, and he takes the occasion to brush the other man’s bangs from his forehead, running his fingers through his soft hair-something Kyungsoo will never able to do at his usual days.
“Wow,” Kyungsoo breathes in admiration, “you’re so beautiful.”
“I know,” Kai sneers cutely, and Kyungsoo has an urge to hit the face of this beautiful, narcissism brat with his palm. “Hey Kyungsoo, do you know why people love stargazing?” the taller asks, sounds so serious all of sudden. Kyungsoo shakes his head after thinking for a while.
“No, why is that?”
“Because beautiful things stay up there,” Kai says, his eyes crinkle into small crescents and Kyungsoo feels his heart swells.
For someone who had lost everything, love and fondness are something rare for him; and on his entire life Kyungsoo only let Minseok give him all of them. He never trusts anyone, can never open his heart for someone else. But then Kai appears, makes Kyungsoo feels even lonelier for the decision he made, but slowly he grew a special space on Kyungsoo’s heart, and now he is the reason Kyungsoo still breathes air in the morning.
Does love feel like this?
Only one person would make it feels right, Kyungsoo remembers Luhan said, and now Kyungsoo wonders if Kai is that one person Luhan was talking about, when he talked about Minseok.
Kai presses Kyungsoo’s palm to his cheek, drags him back to reality.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods, stroking Kai’s cheek with his index finger. “I was wondering why you said that when we’re only like, five inches apart.”
Kai giggles, “I was exaggerating it,” he admits. “But let’s see how pretty you’d get with no inches between us.”
Kyungsoo frowns, still trying to process the words, but Kai’s already craning his neck and kisses Kyungsoo gently, so gentle until Kyungsoo wants to cry. His hands find the way to the back of Kai’s neck and let those soft lips moving perfectly against his own.
When Minseok comes three days later, Kai opens the door for him. Minseok looks perplexed, clearly unfamiliar with his figure on his own house, and the fact that Minseok is coming as a guest, not an owner who goes to check his house if his brother and a stranger that his brother wanted to keep so badly like a treasure had destroyed the house.
“Hyung! What brings you here?” Kyungsoo greets from Kai’s back, and Minseok smiles a little.
“Nothing, just want to make sure if you guys still alive.”
“Hyung,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “stop saying sarcasm.”
Minseok wipes his face with his hand. “But I’m serious, Kyungsoo. The Peacekeepers found out this guy is nowhere to be seen at District 1 to 9, and they had started isolating District 10 and 11. You can’t keep him here any longer. Please,”
“Is that so?” Kai speaks, “I need to pack my things and go, then.”
“No!” Kyungsoo squeals, hand blocking Kai’s body as to protect him. “You can’t go anywhere, not without me!”
“Kyungsoo! What are you saying? Where’s your brain, are you crazy!?” Minseok is almost running out of patience, Kyungsoo knows that. Minseok would never use a voice three octaves higher than usual, unless he’s really angry he could eat human.
“I promised you I’d take a responsibility,” Kyungsoo says, his voice trembling. “It means I wouldn’t leave him and let The Peacekeepers get him. You taught me to be a man on my words, right, hyung? Well, I’ll show you that I’ve learnt well from you-”
“KYUNGSOO!”
“You did that to Luhan on Hunger Games, why can’t I do the same with him? I love him, hyung!”
Time stops at the end of Kyungsoo’s sentence, at Minseok’s complicated expression and Kai’s blank face, because he doesn’t really know how to react. Kyungsoo doesn’t regret what he had said, not this time, not after his mental battles about is it okay to go with his feeling or not, not about Kai.
“I’m sorry, hyung. I really am sorry. You’ve done so much for me yet this is the way I repay you… I’m such an ungrateful kid. But I decided to do this, so I’m taking all the consequences. Please understand.”
Minseok clenches his fist and throws a punch on Kyungsoo’s jaw and the other boy losing his balance, fall sitting on the floor with Kai gasps in utter shock. Kyungsoo touches his lip and traces blood on his finger, but he laughs as Minseok drops to his knees beside him and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.
“You’re the only one family I have, and you’re going to leave me? Bastard,” Minseok growls on his ear, and Kyungsoo feels hurt-not because Minseok’s words, but because the accuracy of them. Minseok used to be the person behind Kyungsoo, his guardian, to catch him when he falls, push him to go forward, protect him from the backstabbers, to keep him alive. But since the day Minseok disagreed with his choice, Kyungsoo has to stand alone, and it hurts.
“I’ll live well, so please do well too with Luhan. Adopt seven kids and name one of them after me. Okay?”
“Oh my god, fuck you,” Minseok is trying so hard not to cry, and instead, gives his brother another punch on the arm. “If someday you want to come back… I’ll be here. You don’t have to promise me anything, just-please, please, please be safe. If you have to kill, don’t be hesitated, but remember don’t kill one person with more than two arrows.”
“Why?”
“It’s a waste, you dummy. Why use so many arrows when you could kill them with one?”
Kyungsoo laughs on Minseok’s shoulder, tasting tears and blood on his tongue, but he doesn’t care.
He can see Kai smiles behind him from his peripheral, and Kyungsoo already feels safe like what Minseok wanted him to be.
The momentous change on Kyungsoo’s life starts two nights after. Luhan knocks his room’s door in the middle of the night, and Kyungsoo hasn’t even questioned how on the earth did he get in the house.
“You have to go, Kyungsoo. Right now.” Luhan clutching on his shirt, his body trembling. “The Peacekeepers saw him when Minseok came here and now he’s trying to hold them not to ambush here. You don’t have much time, hurry up!”
“W-wait! Do you mean those people beat him?”
“Yes, but it’s not something you have to worry. I’ll take care of it.”
“They could’ve killed Minseok hyung!” Kyungsoo screams, but Kai holds his waist from behind.
“That’s the way they lure you into their trap. If you come out, they’ll find out that you were the one who kept me all the time, and that means you are in danger. Your brother knew that and he tried to distract them, to give us time to escape.”
Luhan raises an eyebrow, “Impressive, and now that you got the point, hurry do something before all of us be killed.”
“We have to go now,” Kai grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and heading to the back door.
“Wait!” Kyungsoo releases himself from Kai and runs to hug Luhan quickly. “Thank you for everything, Luhan, please take care of my brother. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Me too,” Luhan ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair lovingly. “Be careful.”
Kai offers a hand and Kyungsoo takes it. He pulls Kyungsoo gently and opens the door, ready for an endless run.
“Don’t look back, trust me and we will be okay.”
Kyungsoo does.
“Well. Your district sure has a great geographical condition.”
It’s an allusive word, of course, and Kyungsoo laughs because they are now crossing the gulch in between life and death. They are getting nearer to the boundary, and the way is getting harder.
“Feeling nostalgic to Hunger Games?”
“Yeah, almost.” Kai grabs Kyungsoo’s arm and pulls him aside. “Hey, watch out the huge rock over there-oh my God, wait, hold my hand. Wait here, I’ll make sure anything under it is stable enough to step.”
Kyungsoo smiles, doesn’t protest. Kai’s free hand holding into the side of the cliff and his foot carefully digging forward, and when he feels it’s safe enough, he guides Kyungsoo to walk and purposely jerks him into his body. The smaller man stumbles on his way and cries, and Kai laughs softly into his hair.
“Sorry, you were so cute.”
“If I died, my brother and Luhan would break your neck and hang your body on their closet, you know.”
“I know, I know, sorry.” Kai stops laughing and puts back his serious face, craning his long neck and squints to see far ahead. “I think I see a cave, let’s have a break there. We can continue after the sun is down.”
“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks, worried. They haven’t even reached halfway and Kai already wants to stop.
“Yes, just feel something weird on my stomach, probably the wound is open and bleeding again. Not serious, I’ll cover it with cloth or something.”
“You’re not fully recovered yet, why do you keep insisting to walk first? Now shut up and let me help you. All you have to do is show me the way.”
Kai stretches a hand to gently touch Kyungsoo’s face. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, “for everything you did for me, for loving me, thank you.”
“Thank you too,” Kyungsoo replies, ignoring Kai’s “For what?” and soon following by his childish whines because Kyungsoo keeps walking and not answering him.
For being that one person, thank you.
The wound under Kai’s rib is bleeding again, but he calmly does everything by himself and Kyungsoo can only watch how the tanned skin man pulls out his shirt and expertly wrap a thin cloth around his torso. The color red soaks into the cloth when Kai’s done, and Kyungsoo grimaces.
“Does it hurt?”
“No, not really,” Kai pillowing his head with one of his arm. “Now, which one do you prefer, seeing me shirtless or help me with this?”
“Don’t make me slap you on the face,” Kyungsoo snatches the shirt from Kai’s hand and helps him to get dressed, and Kyungsoo isn’t surprised anymore when Kai pulls him until he falls on top of him, Kai’s face right in front of him.
Kai grins, kisses Kyungsoo’s lips without a warning and Kyungsoo blushes-doesn’t expect it at all. The taller man pecks his lips three times and says the word “I”, “love”, and “you” on each peck. Kyungsoo groans, this feels so embarrassing, but he can’t stop himself from feeling happy about it. He accidentally touches Kai’s scar and the other man’s muscles tensing, holding back a pain.
“Your-your wound, is it okay?”
Kai nods eagerly, already relaxing. “I feel better with you, like this. So don’t move, and just enjoy the most beautiful scenery right ahead your eyes.”
Kyungsoo smiles, although he really wants to hit Kai with something. “Don’t act so cheesy, we’re on a cave under a cliff, not in drama.”
Kai wraps his hand tighter around Kyungsoo’s waist, half-forcing Kyungsoo to rest his head on his chest. Kyungsoo finally gives in, and blood rushing to his face when his ears catch Kai’s heartbeat, on the same rhythm as him, and how his chest moving up and down along his breath.
It’s like a melody Kyungsoo doesn’t want to stop hearing. It’s something Kyungsoo wants to keep holding, so he can feel it under his skin, with every beats of his heart, on every breath he takes, at every blink of his eyes.
Because it’s Kai, and Kyungsoo finally knows what feels right means.
The sun is glowing orange when Kyungsoo looks around the cave.
“Are we going now?”
Kai nods, rolling up his sleeves and offer a hand to the smaller man.
“Are you ready?”
Kyungsoo nods, takes the hand and lets himself run, run, and run.
As long as he’s with Kai, he knows everything would be okay.
*oHMYGODJHSJDB IM SORRY. IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY. this took forever to write and guess what i went on hiatus during midtest last week l o l. and i'm sorry this is freakin 8000+++ words like oh my god i don't even ship kaisoo???
*unedited bcs too tired lol im an ass
*this is for kavie because this is all her fault, for kadeph because she ships kaisoo
*for bae aka hana bcs she ships kaisoo too lol
*once again, i'm sorry. bye.