Decline
My beard is going white. It has been for a year now, but it's no longer the odd gray hair. It's a network of coordinated terrorist hairs waiting for a signal to consume my chin.
I've gotten old. I don't know if I feel old or not, because I've felt old for years. But I wonder if the rest of me is giving up, like my beard is. Is my heart starting to stiffen? Is the blood in my brain surging against the walls of the circulatory system, looking for a chink? Will my kidneys turn white and die like my beard?
Will my beard even make it to white before these things happen? I'd say a year or two. Do I have a year or two?
I think I'm tired enough tonight to face things as they are: my life has been, will have been, a meaningless waste. I stumbled through it a victim and died unknown by anyone. Every secret I have dies with me, a withered mistaken fork on the evolutionary tree.
I don't want immortality, but mortality would've been nice. Someone to have noticed I was here, while I was here. Instead, I leave nothing but mistakes and questions and a name in a ledger filling space and meaning nothing to anyone.
When the time comes, you won't even remember this.
I've gotten old. I don't know if I feel old or not, because I've felt old for years. But I wonder if the rest of me is giving up, like my beard is. Is my heart starting to stiffen? Is the blood in my brain surging against the walls of the circulatory system, looking for a chink? Will my kidneys turn white and die like my beard?
Will my beard even make it to white before these things happen? I'd say a year or two. Do I have a year or two?
I think I'm tired enough tonight to face things as they are: my life has been, will have been, a meaningless waste. I stumbled through it a victim and died unknown by anyone. Every secret I have dies with me, a withered mistaken fork on the evolutionary tree.
I don't want immortality, but mortality would've been nice. Someone to have noticed I was here, while I was here. Instead, I leave nothing but mistakes and questions and a name in a ledger filling space and meaning nothing to anyone.
When the time comes, you won't even remember this.