Sep 18, 2004 03:39
ive lost all my ability to trust. I no longer have a sense of safety with anyone, and because of this i've shut myself off to practically everyone in my life. I dont even feel trust around my family anymore. There are still a few people whom i spend time with, but that doesnt mean at all that I trust them in the slightest. I guess I've finally succeeded in ruining myself, through drugs and careless activities in general. Theres nothing I can do about it now, im not asking for any of it to be fixed. I'm through with people in general, and i'm through of putting up a front. I'm done fucking with other peoples problems, ive got plenty of my own. Now I want to be left alone to deal with my own bullshit, bullshit ive created myself, and that i will somehow get through myself.
And for those of you who were so worried about me know this. I guess you could say im 'out of the game' whatever thats supposed to mean. I quit dealing anyhow, and since i've pretty much knocked myself into so much debt.. i wont be using nearly half as much. So you can be happy or whatever that means to you. Honestly, I dont care anymore.