Freaking out
I'm sitting in a hotel room in Collegeville, PA, while my family watches America's Next Prom Queen. I'm not really sure what role America's Prom Queen has to fulfill.
So here's what's up. I'm trying to decide between Washington, Ursinus, and Franklin & Marshall Colleges. I visited Washington today--sat in on two classes, had an interview, and ate lunch with a student. Tomorrow, I'm doing something at Ursinus. I don't really know what because they're kind of laissez-faire there. Classes, I assume? I've already toured and interviewed there. Then I'm sleeping there.
And I can't stop freaking out! Is this the biggest decision I will make during my teenage life? I think these are all great schools, so I don't know why I feel so queasy and scared all the time. Before going on this trip, I thought I was feeling that because I was afraid of not making the right decision. But now, I think I'm just flat-out scared. Scared of changing my life, scared of moving away, scared of being so far from home. I feel physically ill. I can barely speak.
So many of you have done this beautifully. You've left home, you've made friends outside of the safe incestuous cult of RAHA, you've broken out! Please...help? Help me to not freak out. Keep me from going to the U of R, which is one of the top neuroscience schools in the country, is practically ivy league, is beautiful, and is IN ROCHESTER. Everyone would kill me, for one thing--Carolyn would be in the lead of the raging mob. I cannot stay in Rochester, I know I can't! Please remind me of this. Please help me.
Thank you. So much love to all of you.
So here's what's up. I'm trying to decide between Washington, Ursinus, and Franklin & Marshall Colleges. I visited Washington today--sat in on two classes, had an interview, and ate lunch with a student. Tomorrow, I'm doing something at Ursinus. I don't really know what because they're kind of laissez-faire there. Classes, I assume? I've already toured and interviewed there. Then I'm sleeping there.
And I can't stop freaking out! Is this the biggest decision I will make during my teenage life? I think these are all great schools, so I don't know why I feel so queasy and scared all the time. Before going on this trip, I thought I was feeling that because I was afraid of not making the right decision. But now, I think I'm just flat-out scared. Scared of changing my life, scared of moving away, scared of being so far from home. I feel physically ill. I can barely speak.
So many of you have done this beautifully. You've left home, you've made friends outside of the safe incestuous cult of RAHA, you've broken out! Please...help? Help me to not freak out. Keep me from going to the U of R, which is one of the top neuroscience schools in the country, is practically ivy league, is beautiful, and is IN ROCHESTER. Everyone would kill me, for one thing--Carolyn would be in the lead of the raging mob. I cannot stay in Rochester, I know I can't! Please remind me of this. Please help me.
Thank you. So much love to all of you.