let me clarify.
.. i dont know how to begin going about expalining this.
i told amy this.. but i don't think i've told many others.
I am extremly possesive of my friends. and i have good reason to be.
i haven't had many over the last few years, and those i have had, have ended up being backstabbing people, who only want to screw me over, and i hold on to certain people just because i don't want to let them go.
so i freak out and push them away, in fear of having them do that to me first.
I am happy for you, dont' think i'm not.
My GJ is a private matter. The people on there, dont' know you, don't know me
so i can just post and post with whatever is is my head at the time.
I hold on to you eric,
becuase i love you.
More than you could ever know.
I love you, because you are a part of me.
I AM happy for you.
and you know that i am extremly selfish,
because i don't WANT TO loose more friends.
I honestly don't know how i got through alot of things if it hadn't been for you.
I don't know much about you anymore, and i know that it's my fault.
I feared not knowing, i feared not having a friend that i was close to anymore.
i have no clue how to approach you, how to continue loving you.
i'm sorry for making you feel that way, that was never my intention. i wanted to pull back so that this wouldn't happen, so that you too would be able to grow, i just wanted to have my thoughts, so that i could get over my damn insecurity. I didn't think i had to say everything on my mind, because those are my thoughts, my own paranoid mind, just like you have yours, and your entitled to them. No, you don't belong to me. i never said you did. i havent' been the best of a best friend. But you know, i've enjoyed catching you when you fell, i've enjoyed talking to and loving you. i've enjoyed knowing you, eric. I didn't think i could have one friend, much less two, that i love, as much as i love you and amy.
i told amy this.. but i don't think i've told many others.
I am extremly possesive of my friends. and i have good reason to be.
i haven't had many over the last few years, and those i have had, have ended up being backstabbing people, who only want to screw me over, and i hold on to certain people just because i don't want to let them go.
so i freak out and push them away, in fear of having them do that to me first.
I am happy for you, dont' think i'm not.
My GJ is a private matter. The people on there, dont' know you, don't know me
so i can just post and post with whatever is is my head at the time.
I hold on to you eric,
becuase i love you.
More than you could ever know.
I love you, because you are a part of me.
I AM happy for you.
and you know that i am extremly selfish,
because i don't WANT TO loose more friends.
I honestly don't know how i got through alot of things if it hadn't been for you.
I don't know much about you anymore, and i know that it's my fault.
I feared not knowing, i feared not having a friend that i was close to anymore.
i have no clue how to approach you, how to continue loving you.
i'm sorry for making you feel that way, that was never my intention. i wanted to pull back so that this wouldn't happen, so that you too would be able to grow, i just wanted to have my thoughts, so that i could get over my damn insecurity. I didn't think i had to say everything on my mind, because those are my thoughts, my own paranoid mind, just like you have yours, and your entitled to them. No, you don't belong to me. i never said you did. i havent' been the best of a best friend. But you know, i've enjoyed catching you when you fell, i've enjoyed talking to and loving you. i've enjoyed knowing you, eric. I didn't think i could have one friend, much less two, that i love, as much as i love you and amy.