hold me closer tiny dancer, count the headlights on the highway
i had a feeling this would happen. i didn't sleep much and i've been under a lot of stress and pressure lately so of course i got sick. eating your fruits and vegetables only helps so much. for a while last week i was wondering who would take care of me if i needed help. two of my friends called me in the middle of the night, three nights in a row, asking me to come talk to them and listen and support them. so i did. obviously. after a while, it got to be too much. i wasn't sleeping at night and i didn't have enough time to do my work during the day because i was napping. not to mention, it really depressed me. i mean, i can support people easily but after a while it's hard to separate their problems and ways of thinking from your own.
it's funny how life works. i usually feel like i'm always taking and that i don't know how to give back, but now i feel like i'm always giving and there's nothing i could take or would want to take. maybe it's just the being sick that's talking, but i feel kind of down. ultimate makes me happy, though and i have the tournament in california to look forward to. the girls on the team are also a lot of fun and they're strong and independent (not that my two friends aren't, but it's good to be around people like that). so what if i don't do well on these quizes/exams coming up? i'll do as much as i can as each day comes.
i've been talking to my mom a lot on the phone lately which is odd for me. i normally talk to her maybe once a week. i miss her, but i don't want to go home. i'd rather be here. yesterday/last night i figured out that there are people here i can go to who would understand. like, i had always known that i might be able to, but in the past couple days, we've all really shown our true colors just laughing and having fun together, sharing stories and offering to take care of each other. it was a good weekend, now i just need to crack down again on school and get better for california. thanks for listening, i just needed to write my thoughts out.
it's funny how life works. i usually feel like i'm always taking and that i don't know how to give back, but now i feel like i'm always giving and there's nothing i could take or would want to take. maybe it's just the being sick that's talking, but i feel kind of down. ultimate makes me happy, though and i have the tournament in california to look forward to. the girls on the team are also a lot of fun and they're strong and independent (not that my two friends aren't, but it's good to be around people like that). so what if i don't do well on these quizes/exams coming up? i'll do as much as i can as each day comes.
i've been talking to my mom a lot on the phone lately which is odd for me. i normally talk to her maybe once a week. i miss her, but i don't want to go home. i'd rather be here. yesterday/last night i figured out that there are people here i can go to who would understand. like, i had always known that i might be able to, but in the past couple days, we've all really shown our true colors just laughing and having fun together, sharing stories and offering to take care of each other. it was a good weekend, now i just need to crack down again on school and get better for california. thanks for listening, i just needed to write my thoughts out.