i'm not together but I'm getting there
Petaluma is my heart and soul. I wish I was still there.
I especially wished I was still there when I came back to SD to find that the boy had found a new ladyfriend. But, this time she's actually respectable...someone I was friends with (kind of) before. I told him that it was good, that I was happy for him because shes pretty cool. It was mostly true. It was as true as it could be.
Its been an emotional week. Last night culminated with me screaming through my tears at him as he sat on the couch trying to hold himself together, trying to tell me I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Finally everything that I had been trying and trying to say to him for the past...5 months came out. He knew that he had fucked up bad. Really bad. And I don't want to forgive him. I'm not sure if I will still. Right now we're on good terms...but he knows hes on thin ice.
I like it when boys have epiphanies that make them realize how important to their lives you are. It usually works out pretty well for me.
So what is the deal now? I don't know either. For now, we are decidedly just friends. But, as he put it, 'its scary how much we click, and how much you get me...i don't know whats going to happen in the future, but I have a feeling that if anything does again, its going to be for good'. So I'm okay now I think. I don't think I'm ready for any serious relationship again, not for a while. And if something does happen soon with someone else, I'm going to be more guarded. But I'm ready to at least look at other options now. Really ready, instead of just superficially. And we'll see what happens. I'm okay with that. Oh yeah and the new girl leaves to go abroad in like 3 weeks so...yeah.
Thank God for Continuum and Amy Winehouse...without In Repair and Tears Dry on Their Own, I don't know where I would be.
I especially wished I was still there when I came back to SD to find that the boy had found a new ladyfriend. But, this time she's actually respectable...someone I was friends with (kind of) before. I told him that it was good, that I was happy for him because shes pretty cool. It was mostly true. It was as true as it could be.
Its been an emotional week. Last night culminated with me screaming through my tears at him as he sat on the couch trying to hold himself together, trying to tell me I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Finally everything that I had been trying and trying to say to him for the past...5 months came out. He knew that he had fucked up bad. Really bad. And I don't want to forgive him. I'm not sure if I will still. Right now we're on good terms...but he knows hes on thin ice.
I like it when boys have epiphanies that make them realize how important to their lives you are. It usually works out pretty well for me.
So what is the deal now? I don't know either. For now, we are decidedly just friends. But, as he put it, 'its scary how much we click, and how much you get me...i don't know whats going to happen in the future, but I have a feeling that if anything does again, its going to be for good'. So I'm okay now I think. I don't think I'm ready for any serious relationship again, not for a while. And if something does happen soon with someone else, I'm going to be more guarded. But I'm ready to at least look at other options now. Really ready, instead of just superficially. And we'll see what happens. I'm okay with that. Oh yeah and the new girl leaves to go abroad in like 3 weeks so...yeah.
Thank God for Continuum and Amy Winehouse...without In Repair and Tears Dry on Their Own, I don't know where I would be.