(no subject)
The past couple of weeks have changed my life drastically. I think i'm finally getting a taste of what other girls just naturally have. Like, one girl i know, she's never really been in a serious relationship, and she's totally ok with it. Not because all of the casual relationships were satisfying her physically or anything like that, but just because she was secure in her future, knowing that one day her man would come around and it would be right and perfect. I always envied that because i never understood how to quench my lonliness...this girl...i don't know her deep enough to know if she's ever been lonely, but from the exterior, she never seemed lonley. She had/has an excellent relationship with her dad, so he was all she ever really needed...i guess. i don't really know. ANYWAY, I've finally been at peace. All of my emotions have some how been at rest, and I've been able to control them...even during my viewing of chick flicks!! it's amazing. Sometimes i'll walk away because i'll find myself getting a little sad, but then i think about what my emotions are telling me, and i kind of push them aside. It's like that verse in Matthew about the birds in the air how they don't worry about what they'll eat the next day. I've finally gotten to that point where I can just be content (at least 98% of the time i'd say) in where i'm at. And this is HUGE...because i've NEVER been able to control my emotions. It's a beautiful thing. And peace like this can't be found anywhere else than in the Father upstairs.