Annoyingly Beautiful - 4
Title: Annoyingly Beautiful
Pairing(s): YunJae, One-sided JaeMin
Author: tvfxq
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Slight(?) Fluff, Slight Angst
Disclaimer: Some of the characters and scenes in story were inspired by the ones in the drama ‘You’re Beautiful’, so inevitably, there will be some similarities.
Length: 4/5
Summary: Jung Yun Ho was never a people person. Having only three friends in the entire world - who, most of the time, got on his nerves - he never learned how to act anything but hostile towards other people. But does that all change when he one day meets Kim Jae Joong, the clumsiest and most naive klutz he had ever known? Maybe not…
a/n.: This dedicated to musik_love because she’s my non-related sister, and also because it’s been a year since everything ♥
Annoyingly Beautiful
~;~
Jae Joong took a tour of the house in the hope of catching sight of Yun Ho, but much to the former’s chagrin, the tall male was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t really much of a surprise, though. Lately, Yun Ho had been busier than ever - going off to places and meeting with people Jae Joong never really knew.
Eyeing the living room couch from a distance, Jae Joong heaved a sigh and meandered over to the said couch, plopping down on it like a dying potato. He dug his hand into his pocket and fingered his phone out - the one Chang Min had bought him some months back. He held the device in his hands and stared at the screen, contemplating for a moment, before he gave in to his boredom and desperation and sent Chang Min a simple text message.
재중: are you doing anything at the moment?
Before Jae Joong could even put his phone down for a moment, he received a reply, and it brought a smile to his face.
창민: no~ why, is something wrong?
재중: not exactly. just bored. talk to me?
창민: you don’t have to ask me that, you know ^0^ I’ll always talk to you ♥
Jae Joong willed away the uncomfortable feeling settling at the pits of his stomach. Sure, it was a wee bit awkward knowing that Chang Min liked him, but that was no reason to ignore him. He still was a nice guy and a good friend, after all. A while later, Jae Joong sent his reply.
재중: Yun Ho’s not home again :( has he always been this busy? :/
창민: D: hyung again. sometimes I think that I’m just your backup plan whenever he’s not around T0T
Jae Joong bit his lip upon reading Chang Min’s message. It was true. Whenever Yun Ho was out, he turned to Chang Min and all but forgot about the latter whenever Yun Ho was around. He furrowed his eyebrows and pursed his lips into a pout; and just as he was about to type in his reply, he heard the faint sounds of fumbling by the front door and not too long after, Yun Ho returned.
In excitement and pure elation, he sat up and dropped his phone on the couch; forgetting all about his conversation with Chang Min and rushed to the door, grinning at Yun Ho widely.
“Hey,” Yun Ho greeted once he closed the door, stretching out his hand to ruffle Jae Joong’s hair, “I was thinking-“ he attempted, but before he could even finish his sentence, he felt his phone vibrate in his pants. He fished for his phone and mouthed ‘one minute’ to Jae Joong before taking the call. The latter just nodded and watched him patiently. It was just a phone call, he thought.
“Hello? Ah, Ara…”
At that moment Jae Joong couldn’t explain why, but his heart began to ache; constricting painfully in his chest. He then began to wonder who this ‘Ara’ could have been, and what she was to his brother.
Just then, Yun Ho’s phone conversation ended, and just as Jae Joong was about to say something, Yun Ho beat him to it, telling him that he had to go; that it was important. He watched as Yun Ho turned on his heel to open the door he had just closed barely minutes earlier; feeling his chest twisting painfully. Uttering nothing, he headed upstairs for his bedroom, downcast.
He didn’t know why, but he felt inconsolable.
Minutes later, Jae Joong heard the doorbell ring, and as if a zombie, he lethargically dragged himself downstairs and meandered over to the front door. When he opened it, he wasn’t sure if he should have been surprised to see Chang Min standing opposite him.
“You stopped replying.” Chang Min said, answering Jae Joong’s unasked query of what brings you here?
“Sorry about that.” Jae Joong replied lackadaisically, “Something came up.”
“Something related to Yun Ho hyung, no doubt.” Chang Min nodded, pursing his lips into a frown, “You never have that look on your face if it’s not Yun Ho-related.” He continued, jabbing a finger in Jae Joong’s face.
Jae Joong heaved a sigh and regarded Chag Min with a wan smile, pushing down the latter’s hand gently, “I’m really that obvious?”
“Kind of,” Chang Min laughed; Jae Joong laughed too, but his wasn’t as enthusiastic as Chang Min’s was. Taking one step to the side, Jae Joong outstretched his hand, signaling for the other male to enter,
“Why don’t you come in?”
“No, I’m fine.” Chang Min shook his head, “But I think it’d be better for you to go out.”
Jae Joong arched an eyebrow.
“With me. Like before.”
“Oh…” Jae Joong nodded and trailed off for a moment, staring into the distance. He then turned to face Chang Min, “I don’t know… I don’t really feel like my usual self today. Maybe some other time…?”
“But today’s perfect!” Chang Min insisted, “I guarantee you that after today, you’ll be back to your usual, happy and energetic self.”
Jae Joong’s lips curled. After a moment, he relented finally, “Alright. But I’m totally blaming you if I’m still like this tomorrow.”
Chang Min chuckled and took hold of Jae Joong’s wrist, pulling him out of the house. Today, he thought, would finally be his day.
~;~
“Is that a smile I see~?” Chang Min singsonged, pressing his index finger against Jae Joong’s cheek. Jae Joong swatted the other’s hand away playfully and bit his lip in an attempt to hide his smile; but due to the fact that he had never tried to suppress his smiles in the past, he had failed and only succeeded in smiling more.
“Fine, fine. You were right.” Jae Joong laughed, feeling a lot lighter on the inside at that moment. He turned to face Chang Min, regarding him with his usual warm smile, “Thank you.”
“Any time.” Chang Min replied, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“You know, I-“ Jae Joong suddenly stopped midway through his sentence as the words that were ready to come out died in his mouth. He just stared ahead, stopping in his tracks and Chang Min regarded him with furrowed eyebrows and lips that pursed into a curious pout.
“What’s the matter?” he asked and turned his head to face forward, and once he did, he found Yun Ho standing a mere twenty feet away from where he and Jae Joong were with a girl. He and Jae Joong stared for a moment, until their eyes met with Yun Ho’s.
Yun Ho’s eyes widened at that precise moment, a little shocked to see Jae Joong there, and with Chang Min, no less. He walked over to the two boys, the girl with him following suit; and before he could even get mad and reprimand Jae Joong, the latter blurted out something nobody had expected him to say.
“The two of you look so good together, you should date!”
“What?” Yun Ho asked incredulously, eyes dilating; almost ready to pop out of their sockets.
Jae Joong smiled widely at Yun Ho, a smile that did not reflect what he felt on the inside. It was true, Yun Ho and that girl did look good together - Yun Ho was handsome, in fact, handsome would have been an insult; he was way more than that. And the girl? -She was beautiful. Her eyes were big, round and emotive; not to mention hazel in color. Her hair was long and flowing, curling at the end perfectly. Together they would make the perfect couple - for what could be more perfect than a beautiful woman with an Adonis-like man? It was the bitter truth he had to accept, and knowing that, Jae Joong felt the unfamiliar feeling of prickling from behind his eyes and grabbed Chang Min’s hand, leading him away from Yun Ho and the girl. He didn’t know where they were going, but he figured that somewhere, anywhere far away from Yun Ho would have been the best place to be at the moment.
It had finally dawned on him - when he saw Yun Ho with the beautiful girl - why he had been feeling strange things while around the other man.
Jae Joong was in love with Yun Ho.
“Jae Joong, slow down. Why are you suddenly like this?” Chang Min inquired, his words stopping Jae Joong finally in his tracks. He slowly let go of the taller male’s hands and turned to face him, a weak smile on his face, “I wanted them to be alone.” Jae Joong responded, but his eyes belied his words; they belied his smile.
Chang Min furrowed his eyebrows in nothing but concern and affection and led the other to a nearby bench; there, they sat down, Jae Joong uttering nothing. For a moment Chang Min let the beautiful boy be; he watched as the other carded both hands through his silky black hair in frustration, screwing his eyes shut, deep in thought.
“What’s the matter?” he finally asked, though he had his suspicions as to why Jae Joong had acted the way he did out of the blue. Jae Joong dropped his hands and straightened himself, smiling wanly at Chang Min. Tears were slowly accumulating in his eyes, but he did his best to fight them back, to hide them so they wouldn’t show.
“It’s nothing. I’m just… so tired.” Upon hearing those words, Chang Min resolutely chose to ignore the chord of doubt in him and slowly nodded his head. He decided to change the topic when he asked Jae Joong a simple question,
“Jae Joong, do you like anybody?” he asked rather cautiously, and Jae Joong nodded. The latter’s gesture made him smile as a wave of hope washed over him… but perhaps that wave did not only wash over him, but swept him away until he was lost, for Jae Joong’s next words crushed the feeling of hope he had in him.
“I like everybody. I like you, I like Yoo Chun, I like Jun Su, I like that girl who helped us pick out clothes, the guy who sold us ice cream-“ Chang Min stopped him right there before he started naming every person he’d met.
“That’s not what I meant.” Chang Min said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “I meant to ask if you liked someone…” this time, he emphasized the word ‘like’, and when he did, Jae Joong got the hint.
He mustered up all the courage he had in him to reject the taller male beside him and spoke, or at least he attempted to, when Chang Min interrupted him, “Listen, Chang Min, you’re amazing-“
“But you don’t like me that way, do you?” Chang Min chuckled bitterly, a painful expression taking over his face, and Jae Joong felt horrible at that moment for causing him that mournful expression. Jae Joong stretched out his hand and rubbed comforting circles on Chang Min’s back; for a moment none uttered a word, and just as Jae Joong was about to, Chang Min beat him to it; his words tugging the shorter male’s heartstrings.
“It’s Yun Ho, isn’t it? I see the way you look at him. When you talk about him, there’s always this sense of fondness in your words… I always chose to ignore it but…” Chang Min trailed off before looking at Jae Joong. He smiled at him warmly, “I guess the more you deny things, the stronger they get.”
Upon hearing those words come from Chang Min’s lips, Jae Joong retracted his hand and turned away, a blush rose to his cheeks and butterflies suddenly appeared in his stomach. However resolutely, he denied it, “He’s… my brother. I can’t like him that way…”
“But…” Chang Min began after a while, voicing out the thought that had always been in his head, “what if you’re not brothers?” When Jae Joong said nothing, he simply smiled. He thought that that day would have been the day when Jae Joong would finally be his; he never expected that it would be the day he’d decide to let the other go.
“Can I at least have a hug? Rejection hurts, you know? Not to mention the pain of letting go of the one you love hurts just as much.” He said with a small laugh; not bitter, but sincere. Jae Joong smiled at him, grateful that he was so understanding, that he hadn’t made things difficult for the two of them and nodded, outstretching his arms so he could be enveloped in Chang Min’s embrace.
~;~
Yun Ho had been searching everywhere for Jae Joong and Chang Min, looking through every possible place they could have gone to until finally he caught sight of Jae Joong from a distance. A smile of relief made its way to his lips, and just as he was about to meander over to the two men, he saw Chang Min envelop his brother in a meaningful embrace, making him stop dead in his tracks. Unconsciously his hand found its way to his chest, clenching it tightly in hopes of alleviating the tight constricting in his heart.
At that precise moment his eyes met with Chang Min’s, and the slightly taller male then let go of Jae Joong. He stood up from the bench they had been sitting on, taking hold of Jae Joong’s hand in the process, and walked over to where Yun Ho stood rigid.
“Take care of him for me, would you?” Chang Min told Yun Ho as he pushed Jae Joong gently over to him, “I just remembered that I have to be somewhere right now.”
“Okay.” Yun Ho managed to say, unconsciously holding onto Jae Joong’s shoulders tightly; protectively. After Chang Min had left he turned his attention to Jae Joong, who had uttered nothing the entire time. “Why are you so quiet?”
Jae Joong glanced at Yun Ho for a moment and quickly bent his head down when he felt heat rise to his cheeks, “No reason.” His words came out in the form of a whisper, a lot more nervous than he would have liked.
Yun Ho nodded and they began to walk, heading homeward. “I…” he began, and at that moment he swore he could hear his heart beating in his ears. He wasn’t so sure as to why he suddenly became so nervous, but he willed away the butterflies in his stomach and continued, “About what you said earlier… you didn’t mean it, did you?”
Jae Joong looked up at Yun Ho and shook his head. While it was true that Yun Ho and the girl he was with earlier made a good couple, he hadn’t meant it when he said that they should date - not because they didn’t look good together, but simply because he wouldn’t be able to take it.
“Good.” He heard Yun Ho say, and at that precise moment, his heart soared. “Because Go Ara is old.” Yun Ho grimaced.
So that’s ‘Ara’…
“She’s thirty-one years old, ten years older than me. While she may look young, I wouldn’t date her ever.”
“Then… why were you two together…?” Jae Joong just had to ask, the curiosity beginning to eat him alive.
“She works at the university where Chang Min, Jun Su, Yoo Chun and I study,” Yun Ho explained, shrugging, “I was talking to her about enrolling you for next school year, seeing as you’re eighteen already and it wouldn’t look good if you didn’t go to school.”
Jae Joong smiled widely upon hearing those words, feeling a lot lighter than he ever did; like he was walking on cloud nine. “Thank you,” he said, but the words were muffled; for at that moment he decided to launch himself at Yun Ho, embracing him tightly and burying his face in the taller male’s chest.
And this time, instead of pushing him away like he normally would have, Yun Ho smiled and wrapped his arms around Jae Joong.
~;~
A month had passed since the whole Go Ara incident, and even Jae Joong could tell that Yun Ho had been undergoing certain changes in terms of attitude and temperament. - He wasn’t as crabby as he normally was, and smiled a lot more than the first time they had met. He spent time with Jae Joong too, and made it a point to always eat meals together and go out together. Just the two of them.
While Jae Joong was elated with how close they had become, he couldn’t help but feel strange things whenever he and Yun Ho would be alone - which was all the time…
“Jae Joong~” Yun Ho called from the bottom of the stairwell, and immediately, Jae Joong came running. It was like déjà vu all of a sudden, as, once again, he had missed the first step and came tumbling down the entire flight of stairs. And, like before, Yun Ho caught him just as he was about to make a hard collision with the marble floor.
“Jae Joong, are you okay?” Yun Ho asked, his voice dripping with concern. Carefully, he helped Jae Joong to his feet, and at that moment, a realization suddenly hit the latter hard. Momentarily forgetting the aching pain coursing through his entire body, Jae Joong swiftly turned his head to face Yun Ho, wide-eyed.
“What?”
“You… you called me Jae Joong. Just Jae Joong.”
“I…” Yun Ho blinked twice, realizing that he didn’t just call Jae Joong by his full name, “I guess I did…”
Jae Joong smiled brightly, when suddenly the pain that had been momentarily forgotten returned with a vengeance. Jae Joong cringed, and Yun Ho over protectively carried him to the couch. “I’ll get an icepack.” He said before disappearing into the kitchen.
Jae Joong nodded, and he felt his entire body tingling. Not because of the pain, but because Yun Ho had just carried him, just touched him. He swallowed thickly and tried to coerce all his thoughts about Yun Ho away from his mind, but ultimately failed.
Not too long after, Yun Ho came back with the promised icepack in hand and gave it to Jae Joong. “Be careful next time. Whenever you’re so careless, it-“
“Gets on your nerves?” Jae Joong asked as he pressed the icepack against his head, relishing the cool sensation against his aching head.
“It makes me worried.” Yun Ho corrected, catching Jae Joong off guard. He began feeling things again.
Jae Joong gulped and looked away; Yun Ho just smiled, he reached out to ruffle the younger boy’s hair, and Jae Joong couldn’t help but think that Yun Ho’s hand on his head felt like the brush of an angel’s wing.
Jae Joong felt his heart sink at that moment. He was falling deeper and deeper for Yun Ho, and with his feelings being taboo, he couldn’t help but feel guilty for loving him.
~;~
For the next few days, Jae Joong had been doing his best to avoid Yun Ho. He wanted to lessen his feelings for the other male, but it only made him long for Yun Ho even more. He had refused to eat with Yun Ho, claiming that he had no appetite - which was true, and went out with Chang Min a lot, much to Yun Ho’s chagrin…
“I… I feel horrible.” Jae Joong sighed, confiding in Chang Min, clasping the cup of coffee in his hands tight. “I’m a disgrace to my parents, to this country, to the entire world for falling in love with my own brother.”
Chang Min reached out his hand to gently caress Jae Joong’s own pair of hands in an attempt to soothe him, “Don’t overreact, Jae Joong. For all you know, you two might not even be related. What if your birth certificate was tampered with? You never know these things.”
“It wasn’t.” Jae Joong insisted, shaking his head. For a second it felt like his throat swallowed up his heart, and his breath caught in his chest. There was only one more thing left for him to do. He let go of the cup of coffee he had been holding onto, put his head into his hands, and let the tears that had gathered in his eyes surge.
It was hours later when Chang Min had managed to successfully calm Jae Joong down. Deeming it best for the frustrated male, he brought him home, enveloping him in a tight, comforting hug before leaving. When Jae Joong entered, he was greeted by a fuming Yun Ho - a sight he hadn’t seen in a while, and he was sure that he didn’t miss it.
“Do you know what time it is?!” Yun Ho roared, and Jae Joong flinched, “You’re supposed to come to me when you’re feeling down, or when you need help. When you need anything. Not him.”
Jae Joong looked away, eyes not meeting Yun Ho’s. After a while of silence he mumbled that he was heading upstairs, and motioned to do so when Yun Ho all of a sudden grabbed hold of his wrist, preventing him from moving. Jae Joong tried to shake his way out of the taller male’s hold, but to no avail. Before he could even speak, he found himself already being pinned against the door, and soon after, he felt Yun Ho smash his lips against his own.
It took him a while to register in his mind what was going on, and at first he even tried to fight against Yun Ho, attempting to free himself from the latter’s grip, but to no avail. Eventually, he gave in to the longing and the want in his heart and kissed Yun Ho back. The two ended up kissing passionately, all those moments of holding back and repressing the want to do what they were just doing letting loose. But before things could escalate any further, the more rational part of Jae Joong took over, and with all the strength he could gather, he successfully pushed Yun Ho off of him.
Tears welled up in his eyes once more, as an overwhelming wave of guilt washed over him, “This can’t be. We’re brothers, Yun Ho, related by blood. We just can’t…” at that moment he then ran up the staircase and into his room, quickly packing all his belongings.
While the more dominant emotion he felt was guilt, he couldn’t help but feel hurt that Yun Ho did nothing to try to stop him; he didn’t even utter a single word. When he finished packing all his things - mostly his things, not the ones given to him - into his little backpack, he made his way downstairs, where Yun Ho still stood, motionless and emotionless. He took a look at Yun Ho one last time. There was hope in his eyes, but he wasn’t sure of what exactly it was he was hoping for. With a tearful goodbye he finally left.
“Jun Su…?” Jae Joong mumbled nervously, clutching onto his cellphone.
“Jae Joong? Is that you?”
Jae Joong nodded his head for a second before he remembered that Jun Su couldn’t see him, “Mm…” he uttered, “I… I was just…”
“You were what?”
Jae Joong bit his lip. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it’d be asking for too much. But when he had a look at his surroundings, he realized that Seoul was completely foreign to him still. He swallowed his dignity before letting his breath out with a whoosh. “I was wondering if I… could live with you for a while. Just for a few days. Just until I can find a job and get my own place.”
“I’m more than happy to let you live with me, Jae Joong,” Jun Su said, and Jae Joong let out a smile of relief. He would be forever grateful to Jun Su. “Tell me where you are, I’ll pick you up.”
“Um… I think I’m by the train station…?” He answered whilst looking at his surroundings, “I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going…” Jae Joong mumbled meekly.
“Ah~ that’s okay. Just wait for me there.”
“Thank you.” Jae Joong breathed.
“Any time.”
“Oh, and Jun Su?”
“Yes?”
“Please don’t tell anyone that I’m going to be living with you. I don’t want anybody to know…” He pleaded over the phone, and there was a moment of silence before Jun Su replied.
“Okay.”
~;~
“Hey hyung~ where’s Jae Joong?” Chang Min greeted cheerfully as Yun Ho answered the door, “I haven’t really heard from him for the past week…”
Yun Ho felt a sharp pain in his chest at the mention of Jae Joong’s name and said nothing for a while. After a moment of pregnant silence he looked at Chang Min with the most painful expression in his eyes and said, more like whispered, “He left.”
“What do you mean he left?” Chang Min asked slowly, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown. It then dawned on him that something terrible must have happened, for Jae Joong wouldn’t just leave for no reason; heck, no normal person would just leave without cause. “Why didn’t you stop him? Anybody could tell that you loved him, so why didn’t you try to make him stay?”
“I…” Yun Ho trailed off, the sharp pain he had felt in his chest earlier returning - and this time with a vengeance. “I let him go.” And it was upon hearing those words that Chang Min felt the urge to punch the older male in the face for being so stupid.
And mind you, the taller of the two decided to act on that urge. Balling his hand into a fist, Chang Min threw a punch at Yun Ho, hitting the latter squarely in the face. It resulted in him skidding and crashing onto the floor, and before he could even react, even utter a word, Chang Min beat him to it.
“You’re ‘letting him go’?” he scoffed, “Hyung, letting somebody go is when you give up pursuing them for the sake of their happiness. When I hugged him last time… it was because I was letting him go. I didn’t want to, but I knew that he liked you…” he trailed off, a bitter smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He turned his attention back to Yun Ho and spat, “You’re not letting him go, you’re pushing him away!”
It was only then that Yun Ho managed to pick himself up from the floor and stand up, “He’s my brother! What else was I supposed to do?” he yelled in frustration, and Chang Min laughed; it was an obnoxious and sardonic laugh, “Your brother? You’re not even sure if the two of you are actually related!” he carded a hand through his hair and dropped it midway, “Now we don’t know where he is. For all we know, he’s suffering at the hands of a merciless gang leader. You… you can just continue to be a coward, while I try to help him!” with that he turned on his heel and stormed away.
Yun Ho did not move an inch even long after Chang Min had left. Your brother? You’re not even sure if the two of you are actually related! Those words resonated in his head and hit him hard; like a huge slap to the face. With a chair.
Chang Min was right and he knew it.
~;~
About a week later, Yun Ho was surprised to receive a phone call from Chang Min. After their most recent confrontation, Yun Ho thought that the other male would never make contact with him ever again - turns out he was wrong. Quickly tapping the answer option on his phone’s screen, he pressed the device against his ear,
“Hello?”
“Hyung, this is important. It’s about Jae Joong.” Yun Ho’s eyes suddenly widened, and his body unconsciously stiffened. He stood up from where he was seated and clutched the gadget in his hands tighter.
“What about him? Do you know where he is?”
“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that, but that’s not the point right now. I researched Jae Joong’s and your background thoroughly; turns out that his parents really are Kim Na Yeon and Jung Tae Ho…” There was a long pause before Chang Min finally continued, and when he did, Yun Ho found himself freezing on the spot as the younger male’s next few words were to be the most shocking thing he’d ever been told.
“While they are your parents, hyung, they aren’t by blood. You and Jae Joong aren’t related.”
chapter 3 | chapter 5
Pairing(s): YunJae, One-sided JaeMin
Author: tvfxq
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Slight(?) Fluff, Slight Angst
Disclaimer: Some of the characters and scenes in story were inspired by the ones in the drama ‘You’re Beautiful’, so inevitably, there will be some similarities.
Length: 4/5
Summary: Jung Yun Ho was never a people person. Having only three friends in the entire world - who, most of the time, got on his nerves - he never learned how to act anything but hostile towards other people. But does that all change when he one day meets Kim Jae Joong, the clumsiest and most naive klutz he had ever known? Maybe not…
a/n.: This dedicated to musik_love because she’s my non-related sister, and also because it’s been a year since everything ♥
Annoyingly Beautiful
~;~
Jae Joong took a tour of the house in the hope of catching sight of Yun Ho, but much to the former’s chagrin, the tall male was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t really much of a surprise, though. Lately, Yun Ho had been busier than ever - going off to places and meeting with people Jae Joong never really knew.
Eyeing the living room couch from a distance, Jae Joong heaved a sigh and meandered over to the said couch, plopping down on it like a dying potato. He dug his hand into his pocket and fingered his phone out - the one Chang Min had bought him some months back. He held the device in his hands and stared at the screen, contemplating for a moment, before he gave in to his boredom and desperation and sent Chang Min a simple text message.
재중: are you doing anything at the moment?
Before Jae Joong could even put his phone down for a moment, he received a reply, and it brought a smile to his face.
창민: no~ why, is something wrong?
재중: not exactly. just bored. talk to me?
창민: you don’t have to ask me that, you know ^0^ I’ll always talk to you ♥
Jae Joong willed away the uncomfortable feeling settling at the pits of his stomach. Sure, it was a wee bit awkward knowing that Chang Min liked him, but that was no reason to ignore him. He still was a nice guy and a good friend, after all. A while later, Jae Joong sent his reply.
재중: Yun Ho’s not home again :( has he always been this busy? :/
창민: D: hyung again. sometimes I think that I’m just your backup plan whenever he’s not around T0T
Jae Joong bit his lip upon reading Chang Min’s message. It was true. Whenever Yun Ho was out, he turned to Chang Min and all but forgot about the latter whenever Yun Ho was around. He furrowed his eyebrows and pursed his lips into a pout; and just as he was about to type in his reply, he heard the faint sounds of fumbling by the front door and not too long after, Yun Ho returned.
In excitement and pure elation, he sat up and dropped his phone on the couch; forgetting all about his conversation with Chang Min and rushed to the door, grinning at Yun Ho widely.
“Hey,” Yun Ho greeted once he closed the door, stretching out his hand to ruffle Jae Joong’s hair, “I was thinking-“ he attempted, but before he could even finish his sentence, he felt his phone vibrate in his pants. He fished for his phone and mouthed ‘one minute’ to Jae Joong before taking the call. The latter just nodded and watched him patiently. It was just a phone call, he thought.
“Hello? Ah, Ara…”
At that moment Jae Joong couldn’t explain why, but his heart began to ache; constricting painfully in his chest. He then began to wonder who this ‘Ara’ could have been, and what she was to his brother.
Just then, Yun Ho’s phone conversation ended, and just as Jae Joong was about to say something, Yun Ho beat him to it, telling him that he had to go; that it was important. He watched as Yun Ho turned on his heel to open the door he had just closed barely minutes earlier; feeling his chest twisting painfully. Uttering nothing, he headed upstairs for his bedroom, downcast.
He didn’t know why, but he felt inconsolable.
Minutes later, Jae Joong heard the doorbell ring, and as if a zombie, he lethargically dragged himself downstairs and meandered over to the front door. When he opened it, he wasn’t sure if he should have been surprised to see Chang Min standing opposite him.
“You stopped replying.” Chang Min said, answering Jae Joong’s unasked query of what brings you here?
“Sorry about that.” Jae Joong replied lackadaisically, “Something came up.”
“Something related to Yun Ho hyung, no doubt.” Chang Min nodded, pursing his lips into a frown, “You never have that look on your face if it’s not Yun Ho-related.” He continued, jabbing a finger in Jae Joong’s face.
Jae Joong heaved a sigh and regarded Chag Min with a wan smile, pushing down the latter’s hand gently, “I’m really that obvious?”
“Kind of,” Chang Min laughed; Jae Joong laughed too, but his wasn’t as enthusiastic as Chang Min’s was. Taking one step to the side, Jae Joong outstretched his hand, signaling for the other male to enter,
“Why don’t you come in?”
“No, I’m fine.” Chang Min shook his head, “But I think it’d be better for you to go out.”
Jae Joong arched an eyebrow.
“With me. Like before.”
“Oh…” Jae Joong nodded and trailed off for a moment, staring into the distance. He then turned to face Chang Min, “I don’t know… I don’t really feel like my usual self today. Maybe some other time…?”
“But today’s perfect!” Chang Min insisted, “I guarantee you that after today, you’ll be back to your usual, happy and energetic self.”
Jae Joong’s lips curled. After a moment, he relented finally, “Alright. But I’m totally blaming you if I’m still like this tomorrow.”
Chang Min chuckled and took hold of Jae Joong’s wrist, pulling him out of the house. Today, he thought, would finally be his day.
~;~
“Is that a smile I see~?” Chang Min singsonged, pressing his index finger against Jae Joong’s cheek. Jae Joong swatted the other’s hand away playfully and bit his lip in an attempt to hide his smile; but due to the fact that he had never tried to suppress his smiles in the past, he had failed and only succeeded in smiling more.
“Fine, fine. You were right.” Jae Joong laughed, feeling a lot lighter on the inside at that moment. He turned to face Chang Min, regarding him with his usual warm smile, “Thank you.”
“Any time.” Chang Min replied, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“You know, I-“ Jae Joong suddenly stopped midway through his sentence as the words that were ready to come out died in his mouth. He just stared ahead, stopping in his tracks and Chang Min regarded him with furrowed eyebrows and lips that pursed into a curious pout.
“What’s the matter?” he asked and turned his head to face forward, and once he did, he found Yun Ho standing a mere twenty feet away from where he and Jae Joong were with a girl. He and Jae Joong stared for a moment, until their eyes met with Yun Ho’s.
Yun Ho’s eyes widened at that precise moment, a little shocked to see Jae Joong there, and with Chang Min, no less. He walked over to the two boys, the girl with him following suit; and before he could even get mad and reprimand Jae Joong, the latter blurted out something nobody had expected him to say.
“The two of you look so good together, you should date!”
“What?” Yun Ho asked incredulously, eyes dilating; almost ready to pop out of their sockets.
Jae Joong smiled widely at Yun Ho, a smile that did not reflect what he felt on the inside. It was true, Yun Ho and that girl did look good together - Yun Ho was handsome, in fact, handsome would have been an insult; he was way more than that. And the girl? -She was beautiful. Her eyes were big, round and emotive; not to mention hazel in color. Her hair was long and flowing, curling at the end perfectly. Together they would make the perfect couple - for what could be more perfect than a beautiful woman with an Adonis-like man? It was the bitter truth he had to accept, and knowing that, Jae Joong felt the unfamiliar feeling of prickling from behind his eyes and grabbed Chang Min’s hand, leading him away from Yun Ho and the girl. He didn’t know where they were going, but he figured that somewhere, anywhere far away from Yun Ho would have been the best place to be at the moment.
It had finally dawned on him - when he saw Yun Ho with the beautiful girl - why he had been feeling strange things while around the other man.
Jae Joong was in love with Yun Ho.
“Jae Joong, slow down. Why are you suddenly like this?” Chang Min inquired, his words stopping Jae Joong finally in his tracks. He slowly let go of the taller male’s hands and turned to face him, a weak smile on his face, “I wanted them to be alone.” Jae Joong responded, but his eyes belied his words; they belied his smile.
Chang Min furrowed his eyebrows in nothing but concern and affection and led the other to a nearby bench; there, they sat down, Jae Joong uttering nothing. For a moment Chang Min let the beautiful boy be; he watched as the other carded both hands through his silky black hair in frustration, screwing his eyes shut, deep in thought.
“What’s the matter?” he finally asked, though he had his suspicions as to why Jae Joong had acted the way he did out of the blue. Jae Joong dropped his hands and straightened himself, smiling wanly at Chang Min. Tears were slowly accumulating in his eyes, but he did his best to fight them back, to hide them so they wouldn’t show.
“It’s nothing. I’m just… so tired.” Upon hearing those words, Chang Min resolutely chose to ignore the chord of doubt in him and slowly nodded his head. He decided to change the topic when he asked Jae Joong a simple question,
“Jae Joong, do you like anybody?” he asked rather cautiously, and Jae Joong nodded. The latter’s gesture made him smile as a wave of hope washed over him… but perhaps that wave did not only wash over him, but swept him away until he was lost, for Jae Joong’s next words crushed the feeling of hope he had in him.
“I like everybody. I like you, I like Yoo Chun, I like Jun Su, I like that girl who helped us pick out clothes, the guy who sold us ice cream-“ Chang Min stopped him right there before he started naming every person he’d met.
“That’s not what I meant.” Chang Min said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “I meant to ask if you liked someone…” this time, he emphasized the word ‘like’, and when he did, Jae Joong got the hint.
He mustered up all the courage he had in him to reject the taller male beside him and spoke, or at least he attempted to, when Chang Min interrupted him, “Listen, Chang Min, you’re amazing-“
“But you don’t like me that way, do you?” Chang Min chuckled bitterly, a painful expression taking over his face, and Jae Joong felt horrible at that moment for causing him that mournful expression. Jae Joong stretched out his hand and rubbed comforting circles on Chang Min’s back; for a moment none uttered a word, and just as Jae Joong was about to, Chang Min beat him to it; his words tugging the shorter male’s heartstrings.
“It’s Yun Ho, isn’t it? I see the way you look at him. When you talk about him, there’s always this sense of fondness in your words… I always chose to ignore it but…” Chang Min trailed off before looking at Jae Joong. He smiled at him warmly, “I guess the more you deny things, the stronger they get.”
Upon hearing those words come from Chang Min’s lips, Jae Joong retracted his hand and turned away, a blush rose to his cheeks and butterflies suddenly appeared in his stomach. However resolutely, he denied it, “He’s… my brother. I can’t like him that way…”
“But…” Chang Min began after a while, voicing out the thought that had always been in his head, “what if you’re not brothers?” When Jae Joong said nothing, he simply smiled. He thought that that day would have been the day when Jae Joong would finally be his; he never expected that it would be the day he’d decide to let the other go.
“Can I at least have a hug? Rejection hurts, you know? Not to mention the pain of letting go of the one you love hurts just as much.” He said with a small laugh; not bitter, but sincere. Jae Joong smiled at him, grateful that he was so understanding, that he hadn’t made things difficult for the two of them and nodded, outstretching his arms so he could be enveloped in Chang Min’s embrace.
~;~
Yun Ho had been searching everywhere for Jae Joong and Chang Min, looking through every possible place they could have gone to until finally he caught sight of Jae Joong from a distance. A smile of relief made its way to his lips, and just as he was about to meander over to the two men, he saw Chang Min envelop his brother in a meaningful embrace, making him stop dead in his tracks. Unconsciously his hand found its way to his chest, clenching it tightly in hopes of alleviating the tight constricting in his heart.
At that precise moment his eyes met with Chang Min’s, and the slightly taller male then let go of Jae Joong. He stood up from the bench they had been sitting on, taking hold of Jae Joong’s hand in the process, and walked over to where Yun Ho stood rigid.
“Take care of him for me, would you?” Chang Min told Yun Ho as he pushed Jae Joong gently over to him, “I just remembered that I have to be somewhere right now.”
“Okay.” Yun Ho managed to say, unconsciously holding onto Jae Joong’s shoulders tightly; protectively. After Chang Min had left he turned his attention to Jae Joong, who had uttered nothing the entire time. “Why are you so quiet?”
Jae Joong glanced at Yun Ho for a moment and quickly bent his head down when he felt heat rise to his cheeks, “No reason.” His words came out in the form of a whisper, a lot more nervous than he would have liked.
Yun Ho nodded and they began to walk, heading homeward. “I…” he began, and at that moment he swore he could hear his heart beating in his ears. He wasn’t so sure as to why he suddenly became so nervous, but he willed away the butterflies in his stomach and continued, “About what you said earlier… you didn’t mean it, did you?”
Jae Joong looked up at Yun Ho and shook his head. While it was true that Yun Ho and the girl he was with earlier made a good couple, he hadn’t meant it when he said that they should date - not because they didn’t look good together, but simply because he wouldn’t be able to take it.
“Good.” He heard Yun Ho say, and at that precise moment, his heart soared. “Because Go Ara is old.” Yun Ho grimaced.
So that’s ‘Ara’…
“She’s thirty-one years old, ten years older than me. While she may look young, I wouldn’t date her ever.”
“Then… why were you two together…?” Jae Joong just had to ask, the curiosity beginning to eat him alive.
“She works at the university where Chang Min, Jun Su, Yoo Chun and I study,” Yun Ho explained, shrugging, “I was talking to her about enrolling you for next school year, seeing as you’re eighteen already and it wouldn’t look good if you didn’t go to school.”
Jae Joong smiled widely upon hearing those words, feeling a lot lighter than he ever did; like he was walking on cloud nine. “Thank you,” he said, but the words were muffled; for at that moment he decided to launch himself at Yun Ho, embracing him tightly and burying his face in the taller male’s chest.
And this time, instead of pushing him away like he normally would have, Yun Ho smiled and wrapped his arms around Jae Joong.
~;~
A month had passed since the whole Go Ara incident, and even Jae Joong could tell that Yun Ho had been undergoing certain changes in terms of attitude and temperament. - He wasn’t as crabby as he normally was, and smiled a lot more than the first time they had met. He spent time with Jae Joong too, and made it a point to always eat meals together and go out together. Just the two of them.
While Jae Joong was elated with how close they had become, he couldn’t help but feel strange things whenever he and Yun Ho would be alone - which was all the time…
“Jae Joong~” Yun Ho called from the bottom of the stairwell, and immediately, Jae Joong came running. It was like déjà vu all of a sudden, as, once again, he had missed the first step and came tumbling down the entire flight of stairs. And, like before, Yun Ho caught him just as he was about to make a hard collision with the marble floor.
“Jae Joong, are you okay?” Yun Ho asked, his voice dripping with concern. Carefully, he helped Jae Joong to his feet, and at that moment, a realization suddenly hit the latter hard. Momentarily forgetting the aching pain coursing through his entire body, Jae Joong swiftly turned his head to face Yun Ho, wide-eyed.
“What?”
“You… you called me Jae Joong. Just Jae Joong.”
“I…” Yun Ho blinked twice, realizing that he didn’t just call Jae Joong by his full name, “I guess I did…”
Jae Joong smiled brightly, when suddenly the pain that had been momentarily forgotten returned with a vengeance. Jae Joong cringed, and Yun Ho over protectively carried him to the couch. “I’ll get an icepack.” He said before disappearing into the kitchen.
Jae Joong nodded, and he felt his entire body tingling. Not because of the pain, but because Yun Ho had just carried him, just touched him. He swallowed thickly and tried to coerce all his thoughts about Yun Ho away from his mind, but ultimately failed.
Not too long after, Yun Ho came back with the promised icepack in hand and gave it to Jae Joong. “Be careful next time. Whenever you’re so careless, it-“
“Gets on your nerves?” Jae Joong asked as he pressed the icepack against his head, relishing the cool sensation against his aching head.
“It makes me worried.” Yun Ho corrected, catching Jae Joong off guard. He began feeling things again.
Jae Joong gulped and looked away; Yun Ho just smiled, he reached out to ruffle the younger boy’s hair, and Jae Joong couldn’t help but think that Yun Ho’s hand on his head felt like the brush of an angel’s wing.
Jae Joong felt his heart sink at that moment. He was falling deeper and deeper for Yun Ho, and with his feelings being taboo, he couldn’t help but feel guilty for loving him.
~;~
For the next few days, Jae Joong had been doing his best to avoid Yun Ho. He wanted to lessen his feelings for the other male, but it only made him long for Yun Ho even more. He had refused to eat with Yun Ho, claiming that he had no appetite - which was true, and went out with Chang Min a lot, much to Yun Ho’s chagrin…
“I… I feel horrible.” Jae Joong sighed, confiding in Chang Min, clasping the cup of coffee in his hands tight. “I’m a disgrace to my parents, to this country, to the entire world for falling in love with my own brother.”
Chang Min reached out his hand to gently caress Jae Joong’s own pair of hands in an attempt to soothe him, “Don’t overreact, Jae Joong. For all you know, you two might not even be related. What if your birth certificate was tampered with? You never know these things.”
“It wasn’t.” Jae Joong insisted, shaking his head. For a second it felt like his throat swallowed up his heart, and his breath caught in his chest. There was only one more thing left for him to do. He let go of the cup of coffee he had been holding onto, put his head into his hands, and let the tears that had gathered in his eyes surge.
It was hours later when Chang Min had managed to successfully calm Jae Joong down. Deeming it best for the frustrated male, he brought him home, enveloping him in a tight, comforting hug before leaving. When Jae Joong entered, he was greeted by a fuming Yun Ho - a sight he hadn’t seen in a while, and he was sure that he didn’t miss it.
“Do you know what time it is?!” Yun Ho roared, and Jae Joong flinched, “You’re supposed to come to me when you’re feeling down, or when you need help. When you need anything. Not him.”
Jae Joong looked away, eyes not meeting Yun Ho’s. After a while of silence he mumbled that he was heading upstairs, and motioned to do so when Yun Ho all of a sudden grabbed hold of his wrist, preventing him from moving. Jae Joong tried to shake his way out of the taller male’s hold, but to no avail. Before he could even speak, he found himself already being pinned against the door, and soon after, he felt Yun Ho smash his lips against his own.
It took him a while to register in his mind what was going on, and at first he even tried to fight against Yun Ho, attempting to free himself from the latter’s grip, but to no avail. Eventually, he gave in to the longing and the want in his heart and kissed Yun Ho back. The two ended up kissing passionately, all those moments of holding back and repressing the want to do what they were just doing letting loose. But before things could escalate any further, the more rational part of Jae Joong took over, and with all the strength he could gather, he successfully pushed Yun Ho off of him.
Tears welled up in his eyes once more, as an overwhelming wave of guilt washed over him, “This can’t be. We’re brothers, Yun Ho, related by blood. We just can’t…” at that moment he then ran up the staircase and into his room, quickly packing all his belongings.
While the more dominant emotion he felt was guilt, he couldn’t help but feel hurt that Yun Ho did nothing to try to stop him; he didn’t even utter a single word. When he finished packing all his things - mostly his things, not the ones given to him - into his little backpack, he made his way downstairs, where Yun Ho still stood, motionless and emotionless. He took a look at Yun Ho one last time. There was hope in his eyes, but he wasn’t sure of what exactly it was he was hoping for. With a tearful goodbye he finally left.
“Jun Su…?” Jae Joong mumbled nervously, clutching onto his cellphone.
“Jae Joong? Is that you?”
Jae Joong nodded his head for a second before he remembered that Jun Su couldn’t see him, “Mm…” he uttered, “I… I was just…”
“You were what?”
Jae Joong bit his lip. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it’d be asking for too much. But when he had a look at his surroundings, he realized that Seoul was completely foreign to him still. He swallowed his dignity before letting his breath out with a whoosh. “I was wondering if I… could live with you for a while. Just for a few days. Just until I can find a job and get my own place.”
“I’m more than happy to let you live with me, Jae Joong,” Jun Su said, and Jae Joong let out a smile of relief. He would be forever grateful to Jun Su. “Tell me where you are, I’ll pick you up.”
“Um… I think I’m by the train station…?” He answered whilst looking at his surroundings, “I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going…” Jae Joong mumbled meekly.
“Ah~ that’s okay. Just wait for me there.”
“Thank you.” Jae Joong breathed.
“Any time.”
“Oh, and Jun Su?”
“Yes?”
“Please don’t tell anyone that I’m going to be living with you. I don’t want anybody to know…” He pleaded over the phone, and there was a moment of silence before Jun Su replied.
“Okay.”
~;~
“Hey hyung~ where’s Jae Joong?” Chang Min greeted cheerfully as Yun Ho answered the door, “I haven’t really heard from him for the past week…”
Yun Ho felt a sharp pain in his chest at the mention of Jae Joong’s name and said nothing for a while. After a moment of pregnant silence he looked at Chang Min with the most painful expression in his eyes and said, more like whispered, “He left.”
“What do you mean he left?” Chang Min asked slowly, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown. It then dawned on him that something terrible must have happened, for Jae Joong wouldn’t just leave for no reason; heck, no normal person would just leave without cause. “Why didn’t you stop him? Anybody could tell that you loved him, so why didn’t you try to make him stay?”
“I…” Yun Ho trailed off, the sharp pain he had felt in his chest earlier returning - and this time with a vengeance. “I let him go.” And it was upon hearing those words that Chang Min felt the urge to punch the older male in the face for being so stupid.
And mind you, the taller of the two decided to act on that urge. Balling his hand into a fist, Chang Min threw a punch at Yun Ho, hitting the latter squarely in the face. It resulted in him skidding and crashing onto the floor, and before he could even react, even utter a word, Chang Min beat him to it.
“You’re ‘letting him go’?” he scoffed, “Hyung, letting somebody go is when you give up pursuing them for the sake of their happiness. When I hugged him last time… it was because I was letting him go. I didn’t want to, but I knew that he liked you…” he trailed off, a bitter smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He turned his attention back to Yun Ho and spat, “You’re not letting him go, you’re pushing him away!”
It was only then that Yun Ho managed to pick himself up from the floor and stand up, “He’s my brother! What else was I supposed to do?” he yelled in frustration, and Chang Min laughed; it was an obnoxious and sardonic laugh, “Your brother? You’re not even sure if the two of you are actually related!” he carded a hand through his hair and dropped it midway, “Now we don’t know where he is. For all we know, he’s suffering at the hands of a merciless gang leader. You… you can just continue to be a coward, while I try to help him!” with that he turned on his heel and stormed away.
Yun Ho did not move an inch even long after Chang Min had left. Your brother? You’re not even sure if the two of you are actually related! Those words resonated in his head and hit him hard; like a huge slap to the face. With a chair.
Chang Min was right and he knew it.
~;~
About a week later, Yun Ho was surprised to receive a phone call from Chang Min. After their most recent confrontation, Yun Ho thought that the other male would never make contact with him ever again - turns out he was wrong. Quickly tapping the answer option on his phone’s screen, he pressed the device against his ear,
“Hello?”
“Hyung, this is important. It’s about Jae Joong.” Yun Ho’s eyes suddenly widened, and his body unconsciously stiffened. He stood up from where he was seated and clutched the gadget in his hands tighter.
“What about him? Do you know where he is?”
“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that, but that’s not the point right now. I researched Jae Joong’s and your background thoroughly; turns out that his parents really are Kim Na Yeon and Jung Tae Ho…” There was a long pause before Chang Min finally continued, and when he did, Yun Ho found himself freezing on the spot as the younger male’s next few words were to be the most shocking thing he’d ever been told.
“While they are your parents, hyung, they aren’t by blood. You and Jae Joong aren’t related.”
chapter 3 | chapter 5