Man..
Had a scare today, and though it's been talked about.. inklings of it still bother me tonight.
My mother found a lump a few days ago, just a little ways below her underarm and close to her chest. She went to the doctor today, and all I overheard -- at first -- when she spoke to my step-dad was 'lump' and 'mammogram'.
So frankly, it scared the fucking shit out of me.
When I sucked it up and managed to keep myself pretty calm about it, I later went up and asked how her appointment went. It was deduced that the lump may be an inflamed sweat gland or a blind boil... whatever it is, I hope it will go away soon. She has never had a mammogram before in her life, and when she said this to the doctor she was urged to have one just because, well, it's never been done.
While things, at this point, seem fine... I look back on the FEAR I felt when I overheard those words. Absolute, throat-tightening fear and while I may attribute it to overreacting some, I just realized how much I love my mother. I'm terrified of anything happening to her. My mind and nerves have been raw all day and I just feel pretty icky in my chest right now at the thought of any wrongdoing towards her.
I still feel kind of vulnerable right now, while I'm sure it was just a scare and something irrelevant to what I thought it was.
She's going to be fine, but I still want to cry.
My mother found a lump a few days ago, just a little ways below her underarm and close to her chest. She went to the doctor today, and all I overheard -- at first -- when she spoke to my step-dad was 'lump' and 'mammogram'.
So frankly, it scared the fucking shit out of me.
When I sucked it up and managed to keep myself pretty calm about it, I later went up and asked how her appointment went. It was deduced that the lump may be an inflamed sweat gland or a blind boil... whatever it is, I hope it will go away soon. She has never had a mammogram before in her life, and when she said this to the doctor she was urged to have one just because, well, it's never been done.
While things, at this point, seem fine... I look back on the FEAR I felt when I overheard those words. Absolute, throat-tightening fear and while I may attribute it to overreacting some, I just realized how much I love my mother. I'm terrified of anything happening to her. My mind and nerves have been raw all day and I just feel pretty icky in my chest right now at the thought of any wrongdoing towards her.
I still feel kind of vulnerable right now, while I'm sure it was just a scare and something irrelevant to what I thought it was.
She's going to be fine, but I still want to cry.