Alone Together
Pairing / YunJae, HoMin(bromance), JaeMin(super angry jaemin)
Rating / M
Genre / Hurt/No Comfort, Angst, Romance, Broken!romance
Warning / Violence, Self-Harm, Dark Themes, Language
Word Count / 2,262
Summary / The courtroom is too hot and the bathroom echos. Yunho is so distant and Changmin is so angry. No, this wasn't supposed to happen. But life isn't a script to be rewritten. {Part 2 in the Demons series}
The first part story happens right before Gravity. The second half happens partway through Gravity, right in between when Changmin and Yunho went to the clinic and when Changmin took the pills. What happens in this fic explains why Changmin is the way he is in this series and the second part is why Changmin takes the pills, even though he's not doing it consciously. Changmin is STUPIDLY protective of Yunho. He's incredibly nasty to Jaejoong in this. His reasoning is, even though he does still love Jaejoong and he misses him, he feels like he needs to hurt Jaejoong to make up for the pain Jaejoong made Yunho feel. But don't worry. Things work out after a while. This fic is entirely angst though, sorry about that :s
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The courtroom was hot. So hot. God, Jaejoong felt like he was going to pass out. Maybe it was the pressure, maybe it was getting to him. Jaejoong didn't know but he felt like he was going to die.
Junsu looked so composed it was scary. Yoochun just stared at the ground, like he was ashamed.
He should be, said a little voice in Jaejoong's head, but he squashed it down. No, it was no good blaming Yoochun. It wasn't his fault. It was all of their faults. No one was innocent. It didn't stop Jaejoong from blaming himself-or Yoochun-individually.
Jaejoong finally let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding when the judge called the meeting to an end. He was standing and out the door faster than he thought possible. He made a b-line for the bathroom, pushing the door open loudly and grabbing hold of one of the white sinks. His stomach threatened to empty itself but he held fast to his lunch. It was humiliating enough just feeling like this-feeling like he was going to break down sobbing every time he looked across the aisle and saw Yunho sitting there looking so calm and collected and perfect. It was cruel. Jaejoong felt like he was dying and Yunho couldn't care less.
The door of the bathroom made a soft squeak as Junsu pushed it open and poked his head inside.
“Jae?” he asked calmly, hesitating only a second before walking inside the small bathroom and stepping up behind Jaejoong. He ran his hands soothingly up and down Jaejoong's arms while Jaejoong pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. “Are you alright?”
All Jaejoong could do was groan softly and shake his head. Junsu sighed behind him and gave his arms a squeeze.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
Jaejoong shook his head again, swallowing the bile in his throat before speaking. “I'll be fine, just give me a moment,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
Junsu chewed his lip for a moment before nodding. “Alright. We'll wait in the car.”
Jaejoong waited until he heard the sound of the door closing before he took his forehead off the mirror and looked at his reflection. He looked like death. His bags were so dark he doubted they would ever completely fade. He hadn't slept properly in a week. A week of pure hell. This was the first court case of many. Why did they have to be here? This was about them and SM, Yunho and Changmin weren't involved in this. They'd had their chance to be involved but they'd turned it down.
This is probably some sick joke to make us flinch, Jaejoong thought bitterly. Fucking old man, he sure knows how to play his cards.
For the hundredth time that week, Jaejoong wondered if it was worth it. And for the hundredth time, he didn't have an answer for himself.
He heard the door open again and groaned, closing his eyes.
“Five more minutes, Junsu, then I'll be out. I promise.”
Silence.
Jaejoong's brows furrowed and he was about the look up to see if he was imagining things when he got his reply.
Except it wasn't Junsu.
“You could never keep your promises, could you?”
Jaejoong's head shot up so fast he felt dizzy, clutching the sink harder so he didn't fall on his face.
“Y-Yunho,” he stuttered, feeling his knees go weak in a way only Yunho could accomplish. Yunho looked so coolly impassive that Jaejoong wanted to cry. This wasn't his Yunho. He never acted like this. Weren't they still in love?
It hit Jaejoong like a sack of bricks that they were technically still fighting. Fighting over something stupid. It was his fault they'd been fighting, surprising no one. He was always the cause of the problems in their relationship. It was because of something Yunho had done that they'd fought, but Jaejoong was the one who had taken so much offence to it. If only he'd kept his mouth shut, maybe they wouldn't be looking at each other like this; in a courthouse bathroom, Yunho looking like Jaejoong had crushed his dreams and Jaejoong trying to keep himself standing upright.
“I... I didn't realize...”
Yunho sneered. He was mad. Oh god, he was so mad.
“Obviously,” he said bitterly, walking past Jaejoong towards one of the stalls.
Jaejoong spun around, letting go of the only thing keeping him on his feet, and grabbed Yunho's elbow.
“Wait,” he said, just barely catching himself again on the sink with his other hand. Shit, he was seriously going to black out in a couple seconds. Maybe he should have just gone with Junsu.
Yunho waited, though he didn't make a move to face Jaejoong.
“Please,” Jaejoong whispered softly. “Please, I don't want it to end like this.”
If Yunho had any response for him, Jaejoong never found out.
“Hyung, what's taking you so...” Changmin's voice trailed off, the bathroom door swinging shut behind him. Jaejoong heard rather than saw Changmin snarl.
Changmin moved swiftly over to them, slapping Jaejoong's hand away from Yunho so hard that it made Jaejoong yelp in alarm.
“Don't you fucking touch him,” Chamgmin growled, planting himself firmly between Yunho and Jaejoong. “You've got some nerve, you little slut.”
Jaejoong's lip trembled.
Yunho finally turned, slowly sliding his arms around Changmin's body from behind. He buried his face into Changmin's shoulder and held him close against his chest. Jaejoong didn't know if he was doing it to comfort himself or hold Changmin back. It looked like both, and it probably was.
“Changmin, don't,” Yunho said, sounding much stronger than he looked right then. “Don't call him that.”
Changmin growled loudly but didn't make a move to free himself from Yunho's hold. “Why? It's what he is, isn't it? I heard he's already started to fuck his way across Japan. How long have you two been broken up? A week?”
Jaejoong didn't move to defend himself, even though it wasn't true. He refused to fight with Changmin.
Yunho's hold on Changmin tightened to the point where it chocked out Changmin's breath slightly. “Don't,” Yunho said again and this time the warning was clear. He would not allow Changmin to talk like that any longer.
Changmin knew better than to question Yunho when he was like this. Everyone knew better than to question him.
Jaejoong felt the bile rising again. He was going to throw up.
Yunho let go of Changmin finally and grabbed his hand, yanking him past Jaejoong and towards the door without another word.
Changmin's shoulder bumped Jaejoong's hard. That was it. That was all it took for Jaejoong's strength to give out, for his body to fail him. He crumpled to the floor, head hitting the marble tiles with a sickening thud. His eyes fluttered, vision blurring, and he was just vaguely aware of someone shouting his name.
* * *
Jaejoong felt dizzy with deja vu.
He clutched the ceramic sink, retching loudly. He swallowed back the bile in his throat and shook his head to clear it. Focus, Jaejoong, focus. He stared at his ugly reflection and grimaced. He looked like shit.
Jaejoong looked up when he heard the door open. He almost swallowed his tongue. Not again.
It was Changmin who'd walked in, looking like he'd been expecting to find Jaejoong here-looking for a fight.
“Why is it you always rush in here after?” he purred snidely. “Throwing up your food so you can be skinny?” His taunts were poor but Jaejoong doubted that Changmin cared how smart his wit was. He just wanted to show Jaejoong how much he loathed him.
Jaejoong stared at Changmin sadly, not saying anything.
“What?” Changmin asked, walking towards him. “No retort? Those old men fuck the sense of humour out of you?” Jaejoong felt the anger rising in the pit of his stomach but he pushed it down, refusing to rise to Changmin's bait.
“I'm surprised Yunho kept you as long as he did. I saw you staring at him in the courtroom. Although, you may have been staring at our manager. Or Sooman-sshi. He's your type, isn't he?”
Jaejoong snapped, shoving his hands against Changmin's chest-who had gotten very close to Jaejoong, using his superior height to bare down on him.
“You're such a child,” Jaejoong snapped. “Whining because mommy ran away from home? Please, I thought you were above behaviour like this. But you always were a brat, weren't you?”
Changmin growled low in his throat and took a step towards Jaejoong, so close that their chests were almost touching. He looked like he wasitching to smack Jaejoong round the face.
“Why are you so angry?”
That seemed to startle Changmin for a moment, but only because he was so utterly shocked that Jaejoong would even ask such a thing.
“Why am I angry?” he asked, his voice rising an octave. “Kim Jaejoong, if you don't know why I'm angry then you're a bigger idiot than I thought you were.”
Jaejoong scowled. “Changmin,” he started, but Changmin cut him off.
“No,” he spat. “It's Max to you. You don't have the right to call me by my first name.”
Okay. That hurt.
Jaejoong reacted to the pain with more venom.
“Why? Are you jealous? You keep calling me a slut, do you wish you were the one in my bed? The crush you had on me when you were little was so cute but I didn't know it had grown into an obsession. Oh, no, wait. I know. You wish that it was Yunho fucking you, don't you?”
Jaejoong didn't know what he'd expected, but Changmin's reaction was definitely not it.
Changmin moved so quickly Jaejoong didn't even see it happen. His fingers wrapped around Jaejoong's throat, pushing him backwards until the small of his back collided with the sink and his head smashed back into the mirror so hard that the glass cracked under the pressure. Jaejoong felt something hot trickle down the back of his neck.
Changmin leaned in so close that their noses were almost touching, his fingers tightening on Jaejoong's throat enough to cut off his air flow.
“You are not,” Changmin hissed, “worth any of this. None. You piece of shit whore who would rather have money in his pocket and a cock up his ass than a family who loves him. This is your last warning. If you come near Yunho ever again, I will do everything in my power to make the rest of your sad little life a living hell.”
Changmin moved back, removing his hand from Jaejoong's throat, letting him slip to his knees and gasp for air. Changmin spat on the ground beside Jaejoong, turned on his heels and walked out the door.
Jaejoong could barely see past the stars in his vision. He heard a loud crash from outside the bathroom and almost seconds later, Yoochun and Junsu were running into the bathroom.
“Jaejoong, what happened?!” Yoochun shouted, dropping to his knees beside Jaejoong and touching the wound on the back of Jaejoong's head. Jaejoong fought for breath and shook his head, pushing Yoochun out of the way so he could stumble to his feet and push his way out of the bathroom, Junsu and Yoochun close behind him.
What he saw gave him pause.
Changmin was held tightly in Yunho's arms, his face buried deep into Yunho's chest. There was an overturned table beside them, lamp shattered on the ground and the dirt from the potted plant which was currently laying on it's side scattered across the marble floor.
Jaejoong stumbled towards them, only getting close enough to hear what they were saying.
“Changmin, you can't let yourself get angry like that. You know what Soomi told you. You're stronger than this, Min-ah.”
Changmin made a small noise which was somewhere in between a whimper and a growl, which was an odd combination.
“I'm sorry, hyung,” he said, voice muffled by Yunho's shirt. “He just... I hate the way he looks at you. It's sick. I hate him, Yunho. I hate them all. I hate how sad they make you. I hate how he hurt you. You don't deserve what they did to you.”
Changmin removed his face from Yunho's chest and looked into his eyes. Jaejoong didn't know what passed between them but it was something so deep, so passionate, that Jaejoong felt guilty for intruding. Jaejoong's breath started to speed up. What if what Changmin and Yunho had now was what he still craved from Yunho? What if Changmin had taken his place by Yunho's side? Suddenly Jaejoong's taunt back in the bathroom was thrown right back at him.
“He doesn't deserve you, Yunho,” Changmin whispered angrily, eyes squeezed shut as he scratched at his wrist harshly.
Yunho gently took Changmin's wrists in his fingers, prying them away from each other, and pressed a soft kiss to Changmin's forehead.
“I know,” he whispered sadly.
And those two simple words stung more than all the other insults Changmin had thrown at Jaejoong in the bathroom. Cut deeper than the wound on the back of his head. Hurt more than turning his back on SM and the only man he would ever love.
And for an instant, a split second, Yunho's eyes connected with Jaejoong's. And it was like he didn't know him, like Jaejoong was a stranger. Like he didn't care at all.
And when Jaejoong walked out of the courthouse, he left his heart behind.
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Little note, Yunho wasn't saying I know to Changmin saying Jaejoong didn't deserve Yunho. He was saying it to everything Changmin was saying, as a whole. He doesn't think that Jaejoong doesn't deserve him, he thinks the opposite. But of course, Jaejoong would take it the wrong way. He is Jaejoong after all.