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[junglequeen88]

I feel very strongly that what you give is what you get. If you don't feel loved by the people you have personal relationships with, that is because you aren't giving love. You may think that you are, but you aren't. To blame others for not giving you what you want is a fallacy, what you should do instead is blame yourself and ask yourself why you

Comments

[becala]

Like most generalizations, this one is true in some cases and not in others. I really don't think that any of my alcoholic partners were emotionally unavailable because I wasn't putting out the right vibes. I think they were stuck in their addiction and we both habitually acted out a codependent cycle where they expected me to provide for their needs without having to ask and resented me for not reading their minds, while I struggled to read their minds and predict their needs in an effort to manipulate them into not acting out their addictive behaviors and make sure that they would never abandon me because that is what I fear more than anything else.

In situations like that, one actually IS putting out there what they want to get back. I wanted to be taken care of as well, but instead I was always the caretaker.

[junglequeen88]

You are right, as I am not with an alcoholic (or anyone else with addiction issues), and haven't lived with one for a long time, I did not think of that aspect of the issue.

But for me, for right now, it is definitely true.

[becala]

I most certainly wasn't naysaying the wisdom of your words, especially with respect to their meaning to you. Just saying that the attitude that "you get what you put out there" only works when you aren't dealing with assholes.