maybe i jsut wanna fly

[junglejerron]

i wanna live i dont wanan die..

---you and i are gonna live forever-

shayna and derick had atalk.. that after our cute day made him distant and upset..

the bits i heard or was let in on was that dericks mom thinks im gonna hold him back.. from school.. and such

derick wouldnt tell me all what shayna said.. or really anything...

i think shayna made sade soemthing agreeing with whatever it is that dericks mother said.. soemthing i have no clue about..

he left.. without even a hug..

i dunno...

i am sure he was upset with his mom.. and went to go have a talk with her..

but i dunno

makes me have anxiety...

like what the hell..

im going to school.. i work FT and donbt "run through jobs" i think i am a good person

im not a junkie... i dunno..

i was at a point in time one of the worst canidates for dating.. but i have calmed down.. chilled out... turned over several leaves and am proud of where i am at.. not like i have made a huge goal realized or got a degree in rocket science but i am doing good

i dont know why im justifying myself to livejournal... or why i should have to for her..

i dunno..

i wish he didnt live with his mom.

i hope we dont break up..