You have to read
this fic! It's almost done, with the last chapter to be posted tomorrow.
"Potions and Prejudice" is a Severus-Hermione fic (not HBP compliant), in the vein of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" but with lots of magic. I just about laughed myself silly when I discovered who "Wickham" is. The author has been working on this story for over four years now, so please go read, review, and encourage. Professor Binns might even give you extra credit...