(no subject)
he couldn't catch the bus to come here.
the last open spot was taken by someone else.
and so i was led to wander
and i thought of him
and of him
and ambiguity
what is he thinking now
what is he thinking now?
where is he now?
one night, probably over a week ago, i dreamt that he came nearby and that it wasn't for me.
all those miles and it wasn't for me.
what am i thinking now?
and these images of santa barbara and a beautiful charming product of that SB atmosphere so appealing and attracting so comfortable and comforting but not for me, all these things felt by another
i just see the images
they're only images
because that's not what i feel
in observation of another's emotions
i don't know what mine are exactly
images of a sun strewn surface of salt water rollin curling perfectly all too perfect barreling through drying out on itchy loose sand that blonde curly hair his skin's so dark darker than mine by far but his hair's so light lying by him in some sand watching a sun setting through coastal canyon on the edge of a neighbor's paradise this strumming music ditching class in high school to invade the jungle with smoke of marination winter formal... sushi... lips and hands and necks lust in a hot tub with bud light why am i reminded of him this moment? it was because of last night.
it was because of last night.
and that call...
all the way from SB?
why there?
fuck.
like i wasn't thinking about that place already.
my thoughts are so blurry
i keep thinking of them
all of them
they keep surfacing
each of them
i'm so fucking far away
i want i need i craaaaave
i'm so fucked up because i can't get fucked up
and i just think of them all
i wonder
i'm so curious as to where my feet lead me tonight
i want to give them direction
but it's not completely up to me.
i can't stop listening to this music because my mind is so strong on this shit right now. this is the music that is what i am thinking of. it's him, it's the curly blonde hair, the dark soft skin. it's that day the best day in so long the perfect san diego sun and this music was playing.
but that day in berkeley...
how can i even compare?
steal a sly glance and lock into a stare kiss can't stop
release of inhibition
why does fate play out in such a way?
why can't he be here?
fuck the berkeley bus.
the last open spot was taken by someone else.
and so i was led to wander
and i thought of him
and of him
and ambiguity
what is he thinking now
what is he thinking now?
where is he now?
one night, probably over a week ago, i dreamt that he came nearby and that it wasn't for me.
all those miles and it wasn't for me.
what am i thinking now?
and these images of santa barbara and a beautiful charming product of that SB atmosphere so appealing and attracting so comfortable and comforting but not for me, all these things felt by another
i just see the images
they're only images
because that's not what i feel
in observation of another's emotions
i don't know what mine are exactly
images of a sun strewn surface of salt water rollin curling perfectly all too perfect barreling through drying out on itchy loose sand that blonde curly hair his skin's so dark darker than mine by far but his hair's so light lying by him in some sand watching a sun setting through coastal canyon on the edge of a neighbor's paradise this strumming music ditching class in high school to invade the jungle with smoke of marination winter formal... sushi... lips and hands and necks lust in a hot tub with bud light why am i reminded of him this moment? it was because of last night.
it was because of last night.
and that call...
all the way from SB?
why there?
fuck.
like i wasn't thinking about that place already.
my thoughts are so blurry
i keep thinking of them
all of them
they keep surfacing
each of them
i'm so fucking far away
i want i need i craaaaave
i'm so fucked up because i can't get fucked up
and i just think of them all
i wonder
i'm so curious as to where my feet lead me tonight
i want to give them direction
but it's not completely up to me.
i can't stop listening to this music because my mind is so strong on this shit right now. this is the music that is what i am thinking of. it's him, it's the curly blonde hair, the dark soft skin. it's that day the best day in so long the perfect san diego sun and this music was playing.
but that day in berkeley...
how can i even compare?
steal a sly glance and lock into a stare kiss can't stop
release of inhibition
why does fate play out in such a way?
why can't he be here?
fuck the berkeley bus.