Merlin - Dead Inside
Title: Dead Inside
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen
Spoilers: Um...not really any that I can think of.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, I'm just playing around with the people.
Genre: Angst/Comfort
Summary: Set after S2, kind of AU. Sometimes it's okay to cry.
Author’s notes: I don't know WHAT brought this on, but I wrote it up this morning, and then typed it up into the computer. This is actually the second fic I've written, but I have to get the first one off my other computer. Sorry if the dialog sounds off, I don't really like writing dialog, but this story needed it, and I had the urge to add it.
Bells weakly tolled through the fog, bringing Arthur back to awareness. The sun hovered over the horizon. He suddenly realized he had been crying, and quickly wiped his eyes. Even though it was his father, he had to show strength to his new kingdom. They now looked to him for leadership. The balcony stone was cold and damp beneath his hands, and he could feel the deep chill in the air. He gripped the stone, trying and failing to keep back more tears.
“It’s okay to cry sometimes.” He didn’t turn, recognizing the voice. It wasn’t surprising that she had managed to approach without him hearing. He glanced over his shoulder and tried to smile, but only managed a pained half smile.
“Gwen. What are you doing out here?” She had a shawl wrapped around her arms, but he could see that she was still cold. She smiled slightly.
“I should be asking you the same.” In just a few steps she was next to him. “You should be resting.” She pointedly ran her hand gently over his back, drawing a sharp hiss from him when she brushed his wound. “You’re still recovering. You don’t need to be outside in this weather.”
“The people, my people, need strength.” He gazed out at the courtyard and the people moving around. Occasionally one would look up at him. “I cannot hide in my chambers when they need me.” She frowned at him.
“Arthur, you can do them no good while you are still recovering. It will never heal if you do not rest. You came so close…” She trailed off as he slammed his fist into the stone.
“Do not assume to know what does them good.” His voice was not loud, but the tone echoed in her head.
“I don’t claim to know what all those people feel. They lost a ruler, yes. But you, you lost your father. I know you Arthur; I know that you’re tearing yourself apart over this.” His gaze shifted away from the courtyard to her.
“I couldn’t save him. All my training, and I couldn’t save the person who needed it the most. I couldn’t even save my own father.” Gwen could see tears forming in his eyes before he looked away again. She hesitated before reaching for his hand. He let her slip her small hand into his, and pulled together a small smile for her, but frowned when he felt how cold her fingers were.
“You’re freezing.” He reached up and unfastened his cloak, draping it around her shoulders. She smiled at him and murmured a thank you. They stood there, in companionable silence for a long time. The sky changed, and grew it grew dark. Below them people emptied out of the courtyard, heading home. Finally, Arthur moved, stepping away from the (erm, yeah). She squeezed his hand gently and let go, before following him back inside his chambers. Suddenly she was very aware that they were alone, near dark, in his quarters, and that she was wearing his cloak. She felt her cheeks redden, and she carefully pulled off his cloak, turning to where he had just been standing. But he was not there. He lay, sprawled on his stomach on his bed, his eyes closed peacefully. Something made Gwen believe it was the first time he had actually laid down of his own volition. She smiled at his relaxed features, and then changed her mind about making a hasty exit. She sat down on the bed next to him, gently laying the cloak over him. Sometimes it was hard to remember that he was only twenty-two, that just two years ago she would have known him only as the spoiled prince. Oh how things had changed. He had grown into a fine leader, a man she was glad to call friend and more. Now he would change more as king. She reached up and brushed hair out of his face, and he opened sleepy eyes, causing her to nearly jump.
“Guinevere…” She put a finger to his lips.
“Rest.” He nodded sleepily at her. “Thank you.” He murmured before closing his eyes again. She smiled slightly and stood. That smile was still dancing on her lips as she gently pulled the door closed behind her.
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen
Spoilers: Um...not really any that I can think of.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, I'm just playing around with the people.
Genre: Angst/Comfort
Summary: Set after S2, kind of AU. Sometimes it's okay to cry.
Author’s notes: I don't know WHAT brought this on, but I wrote it up this morning, and then typed it up into the computer. This is actually the second fic I've written, but I have to get the first one off my other computer. Sorry if the dialog sounds off, I don't really like writing dialog, but this story needed it, and I had the urge to add it.
Bells weakly tolled through the fog, bringing Arthur back to awareness. The sun hovered over the horizon. He suddenly realized he had been crying, and quickly wiped his eyes. Even though it was his father, he had to show strength to his new kingdom. They now looked to him for leadership. The balcony stone was cold and damp beneath his hands, and he could feel the deep chill in the air. He gripped the stone, trying and failing to keep back more tears.
“It’s okay to cry sometimes.” He didn’t turn, recognizing the voice. It wasn’t surprising that she had managed to approach without him hearing. He glanced over his shoulder and tried to smile, but only managed a pained half smile.
“Gwen. What are you doing out here?” She had a shawl wrapped around her arms, but he could see that she was still cold. She smiled slightly.
“I should be asking you the same.” In just a few steps she was next to him. “You should be resting.” She pointedly ran her hand gently over his back, drawing a sharp hiss from him when she brushed his wound. “You’re still recovering. You don’t need to be outside in this weather.”
“The people, my people, need strength.” He gazed out at the courtyard and the people moving around. Occasionally one would look up at him. “I cannot hide in my chambers when they need me.” She frowned at him.
“Arthur, you can do them no good while you are still recovering. It will never heal if you do not rest. You came so close…” She trailed off as he slammed his fist into the stone.
“Do not assume to know what does them good.” His voice was not loud, but the tone echoed in her head.
“I don’t claim to know what all those people feel. They lost a ruler, yes. But you, you lost your father. I know you Arthur; I know that you’re tearing yourself apart over this.” His gaze shifted away from the courtyard to her.
“I couldn’t save him. All my training, and I couldn’t save the person who needed it the most. I couldn’t even save my own father.” Gwen could see tears forming in his eyes before he looked away again. She hesitated before reaching for his hand. He let her slip her small hand into his, and pulled together a small smile for her, but frowned when he felt how cold her fingers were.
“You’re freezing.” He reached up and unfastened his cloak, draping it around her shoulders. She smiled at him and murmured a thank you. They stood there, in companionable silence for a long time. The sky changed, and grew it grew dark. Below them people emptied out of the courtyard, heading home. Finally, Arthur moved, stepping away from the (erm, yeah). She squeezed his hand gently and let go, before following him back inside his chambers. Suddenly she was very aware that they were alone, near dark, in his quarters, and that she was wearing his cloak. She felt her cheeks redden, and she carefully pulled off his cloak, turning to where he had just been standing. But he was not there. He lay, sprawled on his stomach on his bed, his eyes closed peacefully. Something made Gwen believe it was the first time he had actually laid down of his own volition. She smiled at his relaxed features, and then changed her mind about making a hasty exit. She sat down on the bed next to him, gently laying the cloak over him. Sometimes it was hard to remember that he was only twenty-two, that just two years ago she would have known him only as the spoiled prince. Oh how things had changed. He had grown into a fine leader, a man she was glad to call friend and more. Now he would change more as king. She reached up and brushed hair out of his face, and he opened sleepy eyes, causing her to nearly jump.
“Guinevere…” She put a finger to his lips.
“Rest.” He nodded sleepily at her. “Thank you.” He murmured before closing his eyes again. She smiled slightly and stood. That smile was still dancing on her lips as she gently pulled the door closed behind her.