(no subject)
We are drifting apart.
I called you my more-than-a-best-friend, and even more-than-a-lover, but what am I to you?
I cannot send you a single personal message, because you won't reply to them.
You do not have a cellphone, and it's impossible for me to reach your home phone now.
What am I supposed to do?
I cannot go to your side or anything, because I'm useless and powerless. I cannot even walk on my own, you know?
You haven't been visiting me lately, perhaps because you were busy, or stressed with work or something.
But at least...
Maybe I don't have the right to ask anything from you. And I know you'll never read this, you never will. You won't bother, I know. My full-of-tears rambles, you will never read them, won't you?
That's so cruel. So cruel, you know? It's like loving somebody without being loved back, and maybe it's even worse. I've always thought that if I have a lover, you'll still more important than him. But no, to you that doesn't matter right? I've always thought that I was the one who understood you the most, and you were who knew everything about me, but now I can't think like that anymore. Because we're drifting apart, we are.
Maybe it's my fault. I cannot go to school with you, cannot hang out like I used to with you and cannot even see you. Or is it your fault when you do not pick up the phone, you appear as offline with every contact including me on YM. Am I that much of a bother to you? I don't want to disturb you when you're busy, but I'm worried, I'm always worried. I don't even send you any messages nowadays, because they won't be reply anyway. I don't want to hope and then get disappointed. I don't do "hoping" anymore.
But I do wish you were alright.
I called you my more-than-a-best-friend, and even more-than-a-lover, but what am I to you?
I cannot send you a single personal message, because you won't reply to them.
You do not have a cellphone, and it's impossible for me to reach your home phone now.
What am I supposed to do?
I cannot go to your side or anything, because I'm useless and powerless. I cannot even walk on my own, you know?
You haven't been visiting me lately, perhaps because you were busy, or stressed with work or something.
But at least...
Maybe I don't have the right to ask anything from you. And I know you'll never read this, you never will. You won't bother, I know. My full-of-tears rambles, you will never read them, won't you?
That's so cruel. So cruel, you know? It's like loving somebody without being loved back, and maybe it's even worse. I've always thought that if I have a lover, you'll still more important than him. But no, to you that doesn't matter right? I've always thought that I was the one who understood you the most, and you were who knew everything about me, but now I can't think like that anymore. Because we're drifting apart, we are.
Maybe it's my fault. I cannot go to school with you, cannot hang out like I used to with you and cannot even see you. Or is it your fault when you do not pick up the phone, you appear as offline with every contact including me on YM. Am I that much of a bother to you? I don't want to disturb you when you're busy, but I'm worried, I'm always worried. I don't even send you any messages nowadays, because they won't be reply anyway. I don't want to hope and then get disappointed. I don't do "hoping" anymore.
But I do wish you were alright.