Ahoy there!
Ive been off voyaging for three days.Lookin for jobs?maybe.Boogie boarding?yep.Spending more money then i intended on spending a day at the beach making turkey burgers that were not as delicious as imagined?sadly yes.Atleast now,well know to pick a better recipe and make shure we have lighter fluid..or all together skip the turkey burger and go for beef.I still, and will forever prefer ground turkey in my speghetti though.It bugs me a teeny bit to have spent 30bucks on a day where i could have spent 15 at red robins 5parking5gas8salad/meat,3buckscookie,7in-n-out.I guess in my financial state i get more cut-throat w/exspenses.Damb sometimes i dont even think about how much i spend in a day.Pocket booking everything as of today.Yesterday,I called arthur grace by mistake and he was upset and gave me attitude for a while even after i apologized a jillion times.He wouldnt even hold my hand.It wasnt even that big of deal.I just hate how silent it gets between me and him and the way he plays all his angry music loud in the car and doesnt even stop to think about how i feel.I dont know how many times i left that door of "apologies and forgiveness"open until he finally just brushed the feeling off and eventually gave me one of those carhugs before we step out.Why cant we deal with "the problem"on the spot.Fight are way through.Are we not THAT type of couple.I guess we arent.I just hate all the silence.I have some baggage w/me still and it lingers.If i dont take care of issues fast i feel like it will never be fixed and i shure as hell am to blaim for it .I PANIC,I OVERLOOK THINGS,Im turning 20 this friday,im still young.And its never too late to change.I just need more effective ways of bettering myself.More smiles,more thinking,more heart,more talk,more understanding,more DOING.
handle it.