(no subject)
yeah so today hasn't been that great. People in school arent the nicest. I dont know what i ever did to certain people yet, they stil find a way to make me feel like shit. even the people who are my friends do it, they'll make comments like "your so annoying" or "your such an idiot" when i didnt even do anything. I laugh it off like it's nothing yet, it hurts so bad. I am really getting sick fo the way people treat me. Plus i ordered my class ring today. I dont even like it that much, my mom sort of chose for me but what ever.
So anyways i got home and had a killer headache. I ended up taking a nap. I slept between 2:45 to like almost 5:30. my mom woke me up at a certain point to watch Dr. Phil. I guess its kind of a good thing. It was all about self injuring. I realized i have a huge problem. I actually have the same feeligns abotu lfie and stuff as the people on the show did. My mom thinks she knows but she really has no idea. I try to tell her and i break down crying and she pretends to understand.
Ibe thrown up the past 2 or 3 days too. i dont think my mom knows and i dont think i want her to. It's not like im doing it on purpose, and im not like sick. i feel fine jsut i go to the bathroom and i feel liek i need to puke so i sit on the floor... and i do. i try to hold it back but it doesnt help.
I dont know what is wrong with me. I feel like i am worthless. Josh hasnt even called me in the past 3 days. ive called him. It's not that i have a problem with calling him, it's just, he doesnt call me. I dont know anymore. I dont know about anything. I love him, i honestly do but some people say my actions say that i dont. I know i have been eyeing other guys, but yeah the feeling dies afetr a few days, with Josh.. it doesnt. ugh im so confused and i wish someone with some of the same feelings would talk to me. Everyone thinks im some sort of freak bc of how i dress or how i act or bc i cut. people pretend to understand but in reality they dont.... i just wish my life didnt suck so much.
Xo comment me Xo
So anyways i got home and had a killer headache. I ended up taking a nap. I slept between 2:45 to like almost 5:30. my mom woke me up at a certain point to watch Dr. Phil. I guess its kind of a good thing. It was all about self injuring. I realized i have a huge problem. I actually have the same feeligns abotu lfie and stuff as the people on the show did. My mom thinks she knows but she really has no idea. I try to tell her and i break down crying and she pretends to understand.
Ibe thrown up the past 2 or 3 days too. i dont think my mom knows and i dont think i want her to. It's not like im doing it on purpose, and im not like sick. i feel fine jsut i go to the bathroom and i feel liek i need to puke so i sit on the floor... and i do. i try to hold it back but it doesnt help.
I dont know what is wrong with me. I feel like i am worthless. Josh hasnt even called me in the past 3 days. ive called him. It's not that i have a problem with calling him, it's just, he doesnt call me. I dont know anymore. I dont know about anything. I love him, i honestly do but some people say my actions say that i dont. I know i have been eyeing other guys, but yeah the feeling dies afetr a few days, with Josh.. it doesnt. ugh im so confused and i wish someone with some of the same feelings would talk to me. Everyone thinks im some sort of freak bc of how i dress or how i act or bc i cut. people pretend to understand but in reality they dont.... i just wish my life didnt suck so much.
Xo comment me Xo