(no subject)
well.. its been exactly 6 months.. to this date.. since that night happened..
it replays over and over in my head like that sad song that you cant help but love is stuck on repeat..
I dont mean to be so vulnerable when it comes to Reno..
but i miss him..
and it feels like only 2 weeks has passed since that night..
and kinda like i should wake up in the morning and go to Methodist..
At work tonight..
i just broke down and i cried..
and i didnt know how to explain how I felt..
Because I am not sure how people can take it..
and I can still close my eyes..
and see that beautiful face..
with those eyes that meant so much to me..
and that smile that could melt the world..
but for the life of me I cant hear his voice anymore..
and it frustrates me so fuckin; much that his voice is a sound blur..
cuz it was that exact fuckin voice that got me up each morning..
that made me believe in myself..
that made me feel as the center of the world..
that made me his world..
and for Renos sake..
i wish i didnt have to hurt like this..
just so i can let him rest in peace..
but i just dont want to forget him..
and i know i wont..
I just want to fall asleep in your arms..
one... more... time...
I went to the tree after work tonight..
not for too long because its snowing heavily..
remember.. we met when it was snowing..
and i wish you were still here..
i just feel like at the tree i can talk to you..
cuz i feel like your arms are around me..
listening to me spill my almost empty heart out to you..
and I just wish I would have told you everything i felt when i had the chance to see what your beautiful face would do..
its a too late..
but im still going to tell you..
everyday..
that i love you..
so much.. and i was hoping youd be my valentine..
second year in a row..
youll be in my heart.. dont ever doubt that honey..
I just love you..
and my life would be so much better if you were still in it..
but im surviving..
day by day
hour by fuckin' hour..
but that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt..or that i miss you..i wish there was a way.. to take a day away from my life.. just to trade in for you to have life for a day..
oh what i would not hold back..
"and I said.. did you know I miss you.."