Sad... Depressed... Blank
You know.. I talked to my boyfriend well I should say former. I felt like shit....
I don't think he wants to get back together and get married in 2 years it won't happen...
but he's keeping me alive but at the same time causing me pain.. maybe I should just forget about him.
That's hard though because I love him alot. I need Xbox Live I need to occupy my mind.
I don't know what my choice is. I cannot admit to myself that we probbly won't get back together because then i'll wanna go back to hurting myself even though really I don't want to. I would though or I wouldn't want to love again I don't know......
I wish god would do this one thing for me and have us be happy together damn..
You know? I had a boyfriend once. His name was Akito and I can't think how good my life woulda been if I just went out with him. He REALLY loved me and I know he did. I loved him to but it was internet relationship so I couldn't truely love him.
You know I constantly think about him. I kinda miss talking to him because he was so cool. We're both hopeless romantics now. Truely I just wish I wasn't such a psycotic bitch and fucked him over because that was back when I wasn't thinking at all. Damn I miss him.
I miss love.
I want to get married I want a child I want love.
but nobody will bring that. Everyone will keep screwing me over.
until I lose everything and stop talking to people.
I don't think he wants to get back together and get married in 2 years it won't happen...
but he's keeping me alive but at the same time causing me pain.. maybe I should just forget about him.
That's hard though because I love him alot. I need Xbox Live I need to occupy my mind.
I don't know what my choice is. I cannot admit to myself that we probbly won't get back together because then i'll wanna go back to hurting myself even though really I don't want to. I would though or I wouldn't want to love again I don't know......
I wish god would do this one thing for me and have us be happy together damn..
You know? I had a boyfriend once. His name was Akito and I can't think how good my life woulda been if I just went out with him. He REALLY loved me and I know he did. I loved him to but it was internet relationship so I couldn't truely love him.
You know I constantly think about him. I kinda miss talking to him because he was so cool. We're both hopeless romantics now. Truely I just wish I wasn't such a psycotic bitch and fucked him over because that was back when I wasn't thinking at all. Damn I miss him.
I miss love.
I want to get married I want a child I want love.
but nobody will bring that. Everyone will keep screwing me over.
until I lose everything and stop talking to people.