[Fic for yumenosete] Dungeons, Dragons & Losers (1/3)
To: yumenosete
From:
Title: Dungeons, Dragons & Losers
Pairing/Focus: Matsumoto Jun/Mizuhara Kiko, Arashi & guest appearances
Rating: R (mainly for violence)
Warnings: Jun the loser, video violence
Summary:
“…Yeah, I just stabbed him. Like, really stabbed him, that fucker. There was blood everywhere and he was done, like, really really done. One head shorter, literally, took it as a trophy. Well, I had to drop it eventually, there’s only so much you can carry around, right?”
Jun froze and his jaw dropped as the guy in front of him happily babbled into his cell while admitting to a gruesome murder.
Jun hates his lonely life as an office worker, lack of social life and cowardice. Until he joins JE by accident - an online game that is about to change his life.
Notes:
Dear yumenosete, I hope you enjoy the story and please forgive me that it turned out a little longer than planned. I did my best to consider your wishes and hope you can do with my interpretation of online friends.
A big thank you to K for proofreading this little monster again and again and holding my hand while writing this - you know I couldn’t have done it without you! Also thanks a bunch to my dear language proofreader - whoever you might be. :)
I have never ever played WOW (but do love Assassins Creed), so there might be some mistakes when it comes to the whole online gaming thingy. Nor am I an expert on synethesia but read several articles and stalked my mum’s boyfriend who happens to be a doctor. :)
I don’t own anything but the plot - all people in this fanfic belong to themselves and no copyright infringement was intended. I don’t make money with this.
And finally, no elfs were harmed while writing this fanfic.
~*~
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Early, way too early! Sleepily Jun felt for the annoying alarm and let his hand crash down on hard plastic for a few more moments of blissful peace. Gone were the days when he could debate with his mother that he’d still catch the bus to arrive in time for school even if he slept five minutes longer. Or ten. No, he was an earner now and reality always caught up. Still, he had this daily ritual of pretending, daydreaming and holding on to the fading dreams for as long as he could…
…until the shrill second alarm from across the room put an end to all hopes and dreams. Quite literally. Plus, his cell was also set to ring ten minutes later even if Jun hardly ever needed it. Being a diligent person, he had never been late for work even once, also thanks to a good time management at least when it had to do with work. Jun just hated it when he had to rush without the time to set up some fresh coffee before leaving the house to work his ass off for way too little money.
Naaaaaah, he wouldn’t think about that right now. Sure, Kitagawa would find opportunities here and there that gave Jun cause to - secretly - whine about his existence as the assistant to the head of Marketing at TGE Inc., Tasteful Glitter Entertainment Inc. But not now, nohohoooo! These precious minutes at home were his and his alone.
Jun rolled out of bed, eyes still shut, while he tried to recapitulate what little was left of his nightly adventure. There had been a ship, fire, men in suits and a fractured tooth. Whatever his subconscious was trying to tell him… maybe it wasn’t that bad that he couldn’t remember the exact details. But there had been a girl as well, a pretty one. Not shy at all. Sadly, the penetrating sound of his alarm had gotten in the way before anything major could have happened. Oh fuck that!
Yawning, Jun trudged into the kitchen to start the coffee machine before he vanished into the bathroom. The way took him twenty seconds - or eight steps. At 4.50 AM, even the short distance from bed to counter in his tiny studio apartment was taking a while. It also had its advantages that there was no one present to judge.
Or no one to share the coffee with, as the powder was almost used up. Three, four more cups, tops. Great, that meant groceries after overtime, just what he needed at the end of the month when money started running short. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have bought that stupid blue shirt… but it had fit just too well, felt too good on his skin, screamed ‘hip and cool, definitely not overworked and underpaid’ too loudly. Why couldn’t he just say no to fashion? So, yeah, maybe it was a good thing Kitagawa basically glued his ass to his cubicle - less time to spend money he didn’t have on clothes he didn’t need but always wanted.
While the machine was running, noisily brewing the black fuel Jun was running on, he stepped out of his PJs and into the shower. Even though it didn't really need washing, he washed his hair, but dropped the idea of masturbating to the memory of Dream Girl due to the ticking clock, and stepped back out onto the grey flannel rug. Quickly toweling himself off, he proceeded to cut his nails, then brushed his teeth, shaved, blow-dried his hair and considered getting a new haircut. Maybe he could wear it a little shorter than his current cut below his ears, less wavy, maybe dye it another color - something lighter than the dark chestnut brown he was wearing now. Another look at the clock told him that he still was right on schedule. Jun took his time to use his products for hair, body and face - one had to take care of oneself and he wasn’t getting any younger but sure didn’t intend to show it. No one needed to know he was 30 now.
Another glance at the clock reminded him to hurry up a little. Towel around his hips, he grabbed a fresh cup of coffee from the kitchen and walked back into his bedroom - a.k.a. the part of his apartment where a strategically placed curtain divided from the rest of his home. There, he took a sip before putting the cup down on his nightstand, shed the towel and got dressed. A modern gray suit from his stuffed but well-organized wardrobe was the order of the day - form fitting and perfectly highlighting his broad shoulders and slim hips: The perfect finish to the dark plum dress shirt and color-blocking blue tie. Jun might not be the best-paid person at the office, but he sure was one of the best-dressed.
Double-checking his appearance in the mirror, Jun adjusted his hair here and there, took another sip from his cup, made his bed before grabbing his dark leather briefcase. Time to leave and catch the train for another day filled with calls, endless meetings where his opinion counted shit, paperwork Kitagawa didn’t feel like doing himself, unnerving small talk with uninteresting colleagues - oh, and unwanted physical contact without physicality.
Yay!
~*~
To call the train crowded was the understatement of the year. Forget about personal space - hell, forget about air to breathe! Jun hated the long way to work, hated being pressed up against the people around him, smelling their distasteful after-shave, cheap perfume or neglected hygiene. The first few stops were always okay; he had enough space to get his newest manga out and read a little. Sometimes, he was even lucky enough to catch a seat. But the closer they got to Minato, the more people were pushing into the cars with the help of public servants, making it hard to tell where one person ended and the other began.
Negotiating with Kitagawa on flextime had been a fruitless waste of time just like experimenting with different trains. Every single time he’d been trapped between strangers who all pretended they didn’t mind being packed like sardines in a can. Even hens in laying batteries had more room to breathe than Tokyo on its way to work.
Today, Jun felt like throwing up. The guy in front of him was taller by a good five inches and apparently hadn’t heard of that groundbreaking invention called deodorant. And of course, the guy behind him was constantly pushing forward, bringing Jun even closer to the dark wet spot under the guy’s armpit. Disgusting.
One more station, just one more stop! He could survive one more stop. And if he wanted to get out in time he better started moving now. So Jun started apologizing, a steady flow of words nobody really cared for but everyone expected, as he dodged the sweaty armpit and tried to inch closer to the exit. It was a miracle how people, him included, somehow got out in time no matter how stuffed the train was. Tokyo’s subway apparently had its own rules of physics.
Still, Jun was happy and relieved when he finally had the stone-flagged ground of the station under his feet and air to breathe as he fell in line with the crowd of suits past the advertisements and flashlights up to the exit.
Only a ten-minute walk (you could make in five if you were in a hurry) separated the subway from the building complex of TGE. As if he was beaming himself from station to cubicle, Jun arrived perfectly on time with the last few steps being a blur - as always. He had no explanation for this phenomenon - then again, he never really tried finding one. As his day would be tiresome enough, he took the few minutes on autopilot as a blessing.
Well, this little breather was over the moment he slipped through the huge revolving door of the modern skyscraper, crossed the inviting lobby - just to share a confined space with way too many people once again. Among them Ishihara Satomi from Human Resources, just like every morning.
Riding the elevator with that woman made it insanely hard to keep a straight face and his eyes to himself as she sure knew how to wear a short skirt. And all the guys in the elevator knew it - and were looking accordingly without saying anything, they were enjoying the twenty seconds of this show on their way up. Then Ishihara got out on the eleventh floor, leaving them all coughing and clearing their throats.
Today had been an especially figure-hugging pencil skirt and an almost see-through blouse. Almost - there was always a line Ishihara didn’t cross while still playing with them. She liked the looks she got, knew how pretty she was. Oh, the woman screamed trouble!
Jun hated their little encounters, especially the moments she left. Not because she was gone, no. But to release their tension, the other guys started scratching their necks, cracking their knuckles, brushing through their hair - making Jun feel as if he’d suddenly grown two extra arms, maybe three or four. His neck felt itchy and he had to suppress the desire to scratch it. Someone else was doing it for him anyways, without knowing. Just like someone was brushing through his hair, making it quite a challenge not to check his reflection in the metal doors of the elevator.
Oh the joys of Mirror-Touch-Synesthesia!
He couldn’t see the fucking alphabet in all the colors of the rainbow, no. That would have been too easy, and someone was really fucking with his life. No, by watching people touching, bumping into things, each other, starting a fight or whatever Jun sometimes felt the sensation on his own body. Sure, he got his money’s worth watching adult films - as a teen, he’d even considered working in a video store for that very reason - but that tiny bright spot hardly made up for the rest. There were several reasons he wouldn’t watch splatter movies. And a big city like Tokyo sure knew how to turn his life into a daily challenge.
“Matsumoto-kun, there you are!”
Not two seconds after the doors to his floor, Marketing, had opened and he already felt like turning around and going home. The expression on Kitagawa’s face equaled a shitload of work, no doubt about it. That and overtime. Where was Yatterman with his stupid kendama when someone was in need of saving? He could knock out his boss before Kitagawa interfered with Jun’s plans for tonight.
His nonexistent plans, but Jun had no trouble looking past this tiny detail. The day was young, plenty of time to feel alone and isolated. Yatta!
“Sorry, the traffic was horrible,” he heard himself apologize instead of pointing out that he was more than half an hour early, just as planned - was a little time to get settled in before work really too much to ask for? No wonder his boss was walking all over him if he always kept his mouth shut. God, he was such a coward!
“We need to go over today’s agenda.” Unfazed by what Jun had just said, Kitagawa continued in his speech. “Please see last month’s numbers filed on my desk and get the charts ready for today’s presentation. Oh, and call customer service, the coffee machine seems to be broken again. You know how I feel about long meetings without coffee ready. That’ll be all for now.”
Jun nodded, making a mental note of his to-do list. No doubt about it, it would grow to infinity over the span of the day. There was no point in arguing that documents with the figures were already ready and lying on the heavy oak desk in Kitagawa’s office while the charts for their newest campaign were set up in the perfectly prepared meeting room. Nice to see that yesterday’s work was much appreciated. Or got noticed, for that matter. The coffee machine, however, was something he still had to take care of. Perfect, just what he’d envisioned when he’d applied for this job.
So Jun turned around and got back to the elevator. Kitagawa hadn’t said it out loud but his boss was expecting Jun to get him a fresh cup of coffee from the shop next to the office building.
~*~
Of course, there had to be a long line. Whatever it was he might have done to piss someone off, it somehow always kept raining on him. Jun just knew there was a fresh pile of paperwork on his desk that would take him ages to complete, half of it unnecessary private stuff from his boss. Jun was sick and tired of handling Kitagawa’s car repairs, taking something to the drycleaner’s or picking it up, chasing after some ridiculously hard-to-get present for his spoiled brat niece Julie, taking care of birthday presents and cards in general… or getting him fresh coffee when he pleased.
While busy hating his life, something - or better, someone - caught Jun’s attention.
“…Yeah, I just stabbed him. Like, really stabbed him, that fucker. There was blood everywhere and he was done, like, really really done. One head shorter, literally, took it as a trophy. Well, I had to drop it eventually, there’s only so much you can carry around, right?”
Jun froze and his jaw dropped as the guy in front of him happily babbled into his cell while admitting to a gruesome murder. He didn’t even look like he was physically able to behead someone: The guy was short, thin, (black hair, tight jeans, hip leather jacket but that didn’t matter). For sure not the fighter kind of type but rather the homeboy. If armed, you’d expect him to stab you in the back but certainly not him chopping your fucking head off!
Why didn’t anybody say anything? Everyone looked so calm, too busy pretending they weren’t there or fucking opening the door or offering their seat just to be polite. Jun was all for politeness, hell, he just hated it when someone forgot about their manners - but they were talking murder here! He couldn’t be the only one who had noticed? Why wasn’t he doing anything? “Fucking coward!”
“Yeah, I know, right? Didn’t stand a chance, he was alone, we were four. Man, you really should have been there, but with your girl nagging… Sho-chan, really, she’s keeping you from completing our mission, and by you I mean us. You leave us all hanging.”
Four, there were four of them! Oh god, he really needed to do something, he… could he record the conversation? With his cell phone? He could do that - had to do it! Without attracting attention, of course, he couldn’t risk his life just for some moral courage but…
“Nah, look… loooohoook. We can’t slay the dragon if you constantly skip our sessions.”
What? Dragon? With his heart still pounding madly, sweat building on his forehead and the solid weight of his cell in his shaking palm Jun was suddenly lost because - dragons? Was this guy nuts? Was he nuts? Had he misheard? What the fuck was this guy talking about?
Someone behind him cleared his throat and Jun realized he’d been standing stock still for the past two minutes, thus being the guy who slowed everything down. He quickly apologized and reluctantly caught up with the dragon-slayer-to-be.
“…Sho-chan, no one made you join JE… Four times. I’ve asked you just four times, and you had fun after the first ten minutes, so don’t you dare come up with another excuse. You’re our paladin, tell Keiko that. We can’t do it without you, especially with our mage gone, so I expect you to shove your ass in front of the computer tonight! No room for negotiations, I’m serious…”
Disregarding basically every directive in public the dragon-slayer-to-be screamed in triumph, making Jun wince.
“Attaboy… Oh calm down, you know what I mean. The others will be thrilled to hear you’re with us tonight…. Yeah, looking forward to it! Ne, Sho-chan, take care, see you tonight. Sharpen your sword, you’re gonna need it.”
With that, the noisy guy hung up and sighed. He muttered something under his breath, which sounded a lot like “stupid woman”; then he seemed to feel the eyes on his back and turned around.
“Got a problem?” he snapped, and Jun couldn’t help but stupidly point at his own nose.
Dragon-slayer-to-be had a friendly face although it currently was decorated with an irritated frown. He looked young, probably younger than he actually was as he had intelligent eyes that didn’t quite fit his boyish features.
“Yeah, you. How about you get your own conversation? Seriously…”
Shaking his head, the stranger left Jun be before he had the chance to say anything. As if he’d have the balls for a witty comeback. He could come up with some, no doubt about that, but telling that… weirdo that he’d left the whole café little choice but to listen to his stories, all this nonsense about fighting, slaying, dragons and paladins - impossible. As he couldn’t say any of it out loud Jun just had to swallow it. He wasn’t here for trouble.
Just the coffee, all he’d wanted was the coffee for Kitagawa - and to be invisible and left alone. Plus the darn coffee, or his boss would rip him a new one if he showed up without it.
For the rest of his ‘stay’ in the café, Jun tried not to attract the dragon-slayer’s attention again, sighing in relief when he finally had Kitagawa’s order in hand and could return to his office.
~*~
Working extra hours had its advantages as well. Not too many though, and the day Jun would be excited about them still had to come, but at least he got a seat on his way back and air to breathe.
He felt exhausted from the day, constantly yawning, and a little put down that he once again didn’t have any plans for the night. Following the work-hard-play-hard guideline, his colleagues had left before him with Aiba from Internal Communications even inviting him to tag along. But as his boss had left him quite some work on his desk Jun had been forced to decline.
Right now, the others were very likely way past buzzed and Jun had chosen to go straight home instead - the prospects of being the only one sober at karaoke didn’t sound too promising.
The train was almost empty: only a few lost salarymen, two girls in short skirts happily giggling across half the car, a small group of people on their way to some party. Nothing compared to his ride in the morning, but somehow it helped to add to the feeling of loneliness that was washing over him.
Thirty. He was fucking thirty years old now and had achieved what? Nothing! Today it really felt like nothing. His job was a fucking dead end, his salary - oh well. There was no wife to go home to, no girlfriend, not even a freaking pet. Not quite what he’d envisioned when he’d moved to Tokyo and he probably couldn’t be any further away from being someone right now. Heck, he even lacked a proper dream, a goal and that was so unlike him. He must have lost it somewhere along the way…
“No, please…” A pinched whimper interrupted Jun’s thoughts causing him to look up and look around. One of the suits, a guy probably in his late forties who must have had one glass too many, was approaching the two girls. In this case, approaching stood for harassing the girls.
Literally feeling the guy’s sweaty palm on his arm, Jun anxiously shifted in his seat. Should he say something? He probably should say something. Do something! Maybe the guy would see that he was drunk and leave it be?
The guy slurred something impossible to understand and moved a little closer, his hand moving from (Jun’s) arm to (Jun’s) thigh. “C’moooooon.” Sweat started building on his forehead and his stomach knotted in a twist but it was useless to brush the invisible hand on his body away.
The girl tried to get up but the drunk kept her in place, ‘gently’ patting her thigh and mumbling something that presumably was intended to calm her a little, but it had the opposite effect. The beer-drenched breath pestering the air even over the distance didn’t help either…
“Get up. Matsumoto, get the fuck up, do something! No one’s stabbing anybody or slaying dragons; this is real! Move your sorry ass and fucking help that girl!” But he remained where he was, continued watching and hating himself while the man almost forced himself on the girl.
Her friend had gotten up, had started screaming and luckily, finally, attracting the other suits’ attention. Laying his newspaper aside, one of them got up and showed the courage Jun wished he had. He wasn’t much older, probably around the same age as Jun, nor was he taller. Hell, he wasn’t even of a particularly strong build or could score with broad, intimidating shoulders. On the contrary, they were a bit…
…he didn’t want to say sloping, so Jun settled for angled. Utterly ashamed, he watched the guy interfere, calmly talking to the drunk but with such an air of authority that the man let go of the girl’s arm and even apologized.
When the two men left the train, giving the rest of them air to breathe, Jun felt like the biggest loser there had ever lived - God! Why, just why hadn’t he…? Darn!
Jun spent the rest of his ride feeling ashamed and avoiding the gaze of the other passengers. At least he hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t lifted as much as a finger - but that hardly made it any better. Watching TV or reading about adventures always made it seem so easy to be a hero - but reality was a whole different story.
Another forty minutes and Jun got up to finally leave the train. Somehow, it was good nobody was waiting for him back at home, thus sparing him the shame of talking about his day. He’d stuff it in a drawer, lock it and throw the key away.
On his way home, Jun stopped at a nearby 7-11. As much as he loved cooking, it was too late to prepare something fresh, but he needed to eat something if he didn’t want to go to bed on an empty stomach. With today’s busy schedule, he’d completely forgotten about lunch. He hated falling back on instant noodles, but what choice did he have if he was tired but wanted something warm. Plus, it was late and the store had already been out of onigiri or karaage.
Plastic bag in hand, Jun moved on and entered his apartment building. He emptied his mailbox and then started climbing the steps - if he ate that unhealthy instant fast food stuff, he could at least make up for it.
His apartment on the fourth floor was dark, only the fluorescent lights from outside helping him to orientate. Still, Jun didn’t turn on the lights immediately. Slipping out of his dress shoes and into his slippers, he just hung the keys on the hook and left his briefcase in the entrance. He put the instant noodles along with his mail on the kitchen counter and continued dragging his feet into his bathroom. First things first: He desperately needed a shower to wash the truly horrible day away. Then, and only then, he could take care of the rest.
First, he turned on the water as it always took a few minutes until it was running warm. Loosening his tie and getting out of his business clothes felt so good - as if he wasn’t just shedding fabric but a little more of this rotten day with each layer of clothes. Neatly, he folded everything on a tiny footstool and then tested the water. Not quite the temperature he desired but at least he wouldn’t be freezing his balls off. He needed to watch his water use as he couldn’t afford a horrendous bill this month - the very reason why he didn’t take a bath.
The moment warm water was running down his back he already felt a little better thanks to the wet caresses. A day’s work always left him so tense and Jun wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t let go of some. Luckily, a shower in the dark never failed to help him relax.
Feeling almost human again, Jun stepped out and toweled off. There was still the nagging feeling that he should have helped the girl, that he needed to change something in his life - but he was on his best way to shove it back into his subconscious. Too much to deal with today, another time maybe.
Maybe not.
He slowly changed into his grey-striped long-sleeved PJs and moved into the kitchen, now finally turning the lights on. Once his electric kettle was filled with water it was set to work - not the ideal dinner, but at least something warm and quick. Although he knew better not to, Jun couldn’t resist and had to check the ingredients. The amount of flavor enhancers and preservatives made him doubt the cup had even come near real vegetables. His poor body; he needed to take better care of it. Tomorrow, he vowed, he’d cook fresh, no matter what.
As soon as the water was boiling, he poured it over the venom called ‘ramen’ and set the timer to five minutes, skimming through his mail while waiting for his ‘food’ to get ready. Bill, bill, flyer, bill, mail for his neighbor - again, more advertisement. Jun was about to toss the ads in the bin when one flyer struck him.
JE - Just Enemies!
JE, JE… hadn’t that weirdo from the coffee shop mentioned that name?
An impressive dragon - Western Disney Sleeping Beauty version, not the snake-like ones they ‘had’ here in Japan - graced the flyer and cast its flames in the direction of a small group of people holding their bucklers up and pointing their weapons in the beast’s direction. One held a Gandalf-like cane in his hands and seemed to be casting some kind of protective shield over the group of heroes.
Jun shook his head, what a bunch of nonsense, but he’d already started reading the text printed in clear fiery red letters:
A dark shadow has fallen over the realm of Aozora Pedal. Gone are the days the people could live in prosperity and peace as dark forces gather in the east, only waiting to make the kingdom theirs. Behind raised hands and in hushed voices, you hear of hungry werewolves, gigantic spiders and ruthless barbarians plundering helpless villages near the dark forest. And sometimes, only if you listen closely, they speak of the dragon.
Enter the world of Just Enemies and choose a side you’re on. Be a hero and protect the people of Aozora Pedal; or take over the lands and hail the winged king with the fiery breath. The kingdom’s fate is in your hands!
Jun just snorted, balled up the flyer and tossed it in the bin. Otaku stuff, he already knew the type of players ‘saving’ Aozora Pedal, and these barked loudly into their cell phones while waiting for their coffee. He didn’t intend to mingle with that folk, no thank you.
Turning the timer off, Jun took his ramen and sat down on his white couch. Maybe there’d be an interesting new drama on TV he could watch before going to bed.
Looked like he was out of luck, though. Nothing caught his interest while skipping through the channels, zapping from anime to music program - seriously, nowadays you only saw idols grinning on screen, ugh - to reruns of Japan’s Next Top Model or some documentary on the increasing population of jellyfish. Perfect, just perfect.
The screen went black again and Jun tossed the remote control on the couch - just to pick it back up again and neatly place it on the coffee table. He was a bit particular when it came to order.
So, there he was, empty apartment, nothing to do, weird-tasting noodles he didn’t really want to finish. What now? It looked like he was about to go to bed ‘early’. Sighing, Jun got up to toss the fast food away. His eyes fell on the crumpled flyer when he opened the bin. Mhmmmm, should he?
…heck, he didn’t have anything better at hand, right? He might as well check out what that impossible person had been so enthusiastic about. If he didn’t like it, he could still shut his laptop down.
And so it came that Jun sat down on his couch, laptop in his lap, beer ready on the table and flyer in hand, typing the address in his browser.
~*~
“Welcome to Aozora Pedal. You have arrived at a difficult time, the kingdom is in turmoil. There have been rumors about the great dragon…”
Skip.
Hell, he’d read that shit on the flyer already, no need to listen to it as well. His screen showed a map of that fictitious land and displayed two columns offering him a choice.
Choose the path of righteousness and join the resistance in defending the kingdom from the dark impending forces.
Choose the path of darkness and sell your soul to evil. Make Aozora Pedal tremble to its knees when you take the land.
But be careful: There is no turning back and your choice is final.
Seriously? Didn’t the creators have too much of a taste for the dramatic? Jun was tempted to choose a side by eeny, meeny, miny, moe but… but hadn’t he wanted to be a hero for once? Sure, this wasn’t quite the same as interfering in a fight but he would take what he could get.
So he chose the first column and watched his screen brighten up. The invisible camera flew over Aozora Pedal, which seemed to be a shameless rip-off of Tolkien’s Middleearth - over rolling hills, proud forests, and deep rivers separating luscious green grassland. Snowy mountains rose above the landscape and glimmering cities appeared out of nowhere. Again, a narrator addressed Jun directly while he continued his journey over the kingdom.
“Welcome, most welcome! You come in desperate times and we have awaited you most anxiously. Dark forces are gathering in the east and the people live in fear of the times yet to come. Too short was the time to recover from the age of fire, too deep roots the fear of burning like our ancestors. And ever since our king vanished without a trace, the guards and soldiers are unsure of what to do.
But there’s still hope and where there’s hope there is a way. Choose your weapon and help us save the kingdom. We depend on you. May our prayers guide you.”
Bwaaaaaaaah, if that wasn’t cheesy! And once again, a poor rip-off of basically every fantasy movie Jun knew. You had all the clichés in it: Dragon - check. Fantasy middle ages - check. Kingdom depending on heroes - check. King gone - check. Only the damsel in distress was missing but she would maybe show up at some point. Seriously, whoever had come up with this shit could have at least tried to be a little creative.
However, Jun didn’t shut his laptop but continued on his ‘journey’, watching his apartment transform into an impressive weaponry/dressing room with giant mirrors. Well, not really, but being blessed with a vivid imagination it now seemed as if he was in the castle’s dungeon or something. Heavy stonewalls with colorful banners were limiting his view and the only light seemed to come from candles in a candelabra or lit torches in iron grips on the walls.
A heavy arsenal of weapons was lined up on the wall - everything from axes and long swords to bows and tiny makibishis. “Oooookay?” Was he supposed to just choose something or what? He felt a bit odd, standing in nothing but his PJs in the middle of this medieval room just waiting for something to happen. Where was the fucking narrator now?
“Instructions, please?”
While Jun was standing there, a little lost, a door opened and a tiny elf jumped in. He reminded Jun a little of Dobby, only that this little guy had A) curly blond hair on his head and B) proper clothes on his lithe body. His outfit could very much be homage to Robin Hood - had the programmers had a single original idea or was JE nothing but a conglomerate of recycled ideas and plagiarism?
“Welcome, stranger,“ the elf started talking in pretty much the same voice as the narrator. “Please enter your name.”
“What?” Jun blinked, too distracted by the grinning elf to get it.
“Welcome, stranger. Please enter your name,” the little one repeated, undisturbed by Jun’s ignorance. Only then did Jun realize that there was a pop-up box floating in the air (had opened on his screen) and he was supposed to fill in his name. “Okay, okay, okay.”
Having almost hit enter after typing ‘Matsumoto Jun’, he suddenly stopped. Did Jun really want to use his own name? With all the nerds of dragon-slayer’s type running around and all. Maybe not. He needed a pseudonym, a good one. Hajime Kindachi - oh, already taken. Okay, then how about… Tsukasa? Nope, taken as well. Bambino? Jun didn’t even consider hitting enter but erased it as ‘Bambino’ hardly counted as badass.
“Please enter your name.” This little elf was starting to piss him off…
Okay, another try. This one had to count or he would give up. Checking the watch on the wall, he realized it was getting late anyways. So, moment of truth: Jun quickly hit enter and leaned back.
“Welcome, DoS Banchou. Please choose your gender.” This time, it was way easier to decide and Jun quickly clicked on the male symbol. As tempting as it might be pretending to be a girl, his nickname was definitely male. Full stop.
“DoS Banchou, please choose your race.” Still smiling, the elf gestured to one of the heavy mirrors that reached from floor to ceiling and Jun followed. All he could see was a reflection of himself in his PJs and his geek glasses on his nose. Hardly hero material - yet.
Attached to the mirror’s wooden frame were arrows (to click on) and Jun took the elf’s stupid grin as an encouragement to try them. His skin changed to green and in an instant he almost doubled in size, his PJs suddenly impossibly tight as hard muscles covered his body and spoke of years of hard training. This sure was badass, but Jun wasn’t too happy with the tusks emerging from his mouth - still remembering the painful years with braces - nor did he particularly like the horns growing from his skull, piercing through bright red curly hair. DoS Banchou the Troll, it read above the mirror.
“Troll, no thank you!”
Clicking on the arrow again, he watched himself shrink to a mere 58 inches. Instinctively, he reached for the waistband of his trousers although he was still sitting comfortably on his couch. In the mirror however, it looked as if he was about to lose his pants while his shirt was still ridiculously tight around the chest. Gone was the green color of his skin - it looked a little flushed now but that was all - and so were fangs and horns. Instead, he’d grown a long reddish-brown beard and his nose now resembled a cloddy potato. To make things worse, he looked way older than his already nagging thirty years!
Thus, dwarf wasn’t it either.
His next click allowed him to grow again into a slender but lean frame - shoulders wider, hips slimmer and ears pointed. Although his face pretty much stayed the same, he appeared a bit thinner while his eyes changed from a dark brown to a piercing blue. Okay, not bad, this definitely was an option, something he could work with.
“Please choose your race.”
Oh yeah, he’d completely forgotten about this little nagging elf to his side. “I’m on it, gee, give me some time, will you? Impossible!”
Turning away from the unsettling happy-go-lucky face of his little helper, he looked back into the mirror. Should this elf (the tall one, not that little thingy next to him) really be his avatar? What if he was missing out on a cooler option if he settled on his current frame too soon?
Jun didn’t want to risk it and thus clicked on the arrow to watch his reflection transform again. Once more, he was human but taller, shoulders broader than in real life. A warrior in PJs was staring back at him, fierce and strong. If he’d looked like that, he would have helped the girl. No doubt about that.
Jun felt uncomfortable at the sudden reminder of his disgrace and quickly clicked on.
“Welcome DoS Banchou, please choose your race. Do you need more info? Click on my head and I…” Unnerved, Jun finally muted the game and started iTunes. He wanted, no, he needed to take his time and a constant reminder didn’t really help. But the Lord of the Rings soundtrack seemed appropriate to cover for the otherwise silent apartment.
What he now was staring at appeared to be some sort of hybrid. His ears were pointed again, but not as sharply as they had been when he’d examined the elf earlier. However, he was clearly smaller than the human avatar, less buff, less gruff but also edgier than the elf.
DoS Banchou, the Half-elf, it read above the mirror.
One more click, and he was a troll again, so apparently these were all the choices he had. “What to pick, what to pick?” Leaving the weaponry behind and entering his real kitchen, Jun set up fresh coffee as this whole hero creation would probably take a while. Although it was already well past midnight, he could hardly stop in the middle of the process, right? How much stuff was left anyway - it couldn’t be that much…
So far, he wasn’t too impressed with JE but the game somehow had piqued his interest. He couldn’t even pinpoint why he didn’t just shut his laptop and got into bed - these missing hours of sleep sure would bite him in the ass tomorrow. But… hadn’t that guy sounded incredibly enthusiastic about this shitty game? Completely hooked? Jun simply couldn’t remember being enthusiastic about anything…
Equipped with a fresh cup of coffee, he returned to his couch, just realizing that he hadn’t even touched his beer on the table. Oh well, another time then. The soundtrack was still playing as he re-entered the medieval room with the impatient elf.
Without a sound, the little creature’s lips were moving but Jun knew what he was asking of him - this thought giving him great satisfaction to the point where he purposely took his time to drink up his coffee before continuing to find a new body. If only he could mute the one or the other person at the office as well…
In the end, Jun settled on the half-elf. Best of both worlds, right? He still looked strong, fit - like a skilled warrior who’d better be reckoned with in battle. Also, he kind of liked his pointed ears and blue eyes just as much as he enjoyed being a little taller than in real life.
So, time to turn down the soundtrack’s volume and the elf’s voice back on.
“DoS Banchou, are you happy with the way you look?“ As if it had been its clue, he happily babbled on, showing Jun his perfectly white teeth in the process. “You can adjust your appearance by clicking on the mirror.”
This was what Jun did. He packed up a little (but not much), changed the skin from an almost white to a more natural tone that didn’t hurt the eyes so much, added a few scars here and there and painted tribal tattoos he would never ever wear in real life. Not only didn’t he feel like covering them up when visiting an onsen, he also dreaded the thought of what his precious skin would look like when he was older.
Somehow, he completely lost track of time when it came to the hero’s outfit. Being the perfectionist that Jun was, he spent ages deciding on what to wear and which weapons to choose. If he hadn’t known any better, then he’d have sworn even the little helper elf was losing his patience - especially as Jun still had to chose a class and made the little one repeat his questions again and again.
But in the end, around 3 AM in the morning, Jun was finally done and looked at his half-elf warrior with perfect fashion sense. The purple garments covering his trained body looked expensive (and actually had cost something, but yeah, he just wanted to look good, no matter if on- or offline) and matched in color with his long sword. Jupp, he was finally pleased with himself.
He also was really really tired, so he’d better try catching some sleep before his several alarms did their duty and put an end to the night.
Part 2
From:
Title: Dungeons, Dragons & Losers
Pairing/Focus: Matsumoto Jun/Mizuhara Kiko, Arashi & guest appearances
Rating: R (mainly for violence)
Warnings: Jun the loser, video violence
Summary:
“…Yeah, I just stabbed him. Like, really stabbed him, that fucker. There was blood everywhere and he was done, like, really really done. One head shorter, literally, took it as a trophy. Well, I had to drop it eventually, there’s only so much you can carry around, right?”
Jun froze and his jaw dropped as the guy in front of him happily babbled into his cell while admitting to a gruesome murder.
Jun hates his lonely life as an office worker, lack of social life and cowardice. Until he joins JE by accident - an online game that is about to change his life.
Notes:
Dear yumenosete, I hope you enjoy the story and please forgive me that it turned out a little longer than planned. I did my best to consider your wishes and hope you can do with my interpretation of online friends.
A big thank you to K for proofreading this little monster again and again and holding my hand while writing this - you know I couldn’t have done it without you! Also thanks a bunch to my dear language proofreader - whoever you might be. :)
I have never ever played WOW (but do love Assassins Creed), so there might be some mistakes when it comes to the whole online gaming thingy. Nor am I an expert on synethesia but read several articles and stalked my mum’s boyfriend who happens to be a doctor. :)
I don’t own anything but the plot - all people in this fanfic belong to themselves and no copyright infringement was intended. I don’t make money with this.
And finally, no elfs were harmed while writing this fanfic.
~*~
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Early, way too early! Sleepily Jun felt for the annoying alarm and let his hand crash down on hard plastic for a few more moments of blissful peace. Gone were the days when he could debate with his mother that he’d still catch the bus to arrive in time for school even if he slept five minutes longer. Or ten. No, he was an earner now and reality always caught up. Still, he had this daily ritual of pretending, daydreaming and holding on to the fading dreams for as long as he could…
…until the shrill second alarm from across the room put an end to all hopes and dreams. Quite literally. Plus, his cell was also set to ring ten minutes later even if Jun hardly ever needed it. Being a diligent person, he had never been late for work even once, also thanks to a good time management at least when it had to do with work. Jun just hated it when he had to rush without the time to set up some fresh coffee before leaving the house to work his ass off for way too little money.
Naaaaaah, he wouldn’t think about that right now. Sure, Kitagawa would find opportunities here and there that gave Jun cause to - secretly - whine about his existence as the assistant to the head of Marketing at TGE Inc., Tasteful Glitter Entertainment Inc. But not now, nohohoooo! These precious minutes at home were his and his alone.
Jun rolled out of bed, eyes still shut, while he tried to recapitulate what little was left of his nightly adventure. There had been a ship, fire, men in suits and a fractured tooth. Whatever his subconscious was trying to tell him… maybe it wasn’t that bad that he couldn’t remember the exact details. But there had been a girl as well, a pretty one. Not shy at all. Sadly, the penetrating sound of his alarm had gotten in the way before anything major could have happened. Oh fuck that!
Yawning, Jun trudged into the kitchen to start the coffee machine before he vanished into the bathroom. The way took him twenty seconds - or eight steps. At 4.50 AM, even the short distance from bed to counter in his tiny studio apartment was taking a while. It also had its advantages that there was no one present to judge.
Or no one to share the coffee with, as the powder was almost used up. Three, four more cups, tops. Great, that meant groceries after overtime, just what he needed at the end of the month when money started running short. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have bought that stupid blue shirt… but it had fit just too well, felt too good on his skin, screamed ‘hip and cool, definitely not overworked and underpaid’ too loudly. Why couldn’t he just say no to fashion? So, yeah, maybe it was a good thing Kitagawa basically glued his ass to his cubicle - less time to spend money he didn’t have on clothes he didn’t need but always wanted.
While the machine was running, noisily brewing the black fuel Jun was running on, he stepped out of his PJs and into the shower. Even though it didn't really need washing, he washed his hair, but dropped the idea of masturbating to the memory of Dream Girl due to the ticking clock, and stepped back out onto the grey flannel rug. Quickly toweling himself off, he proceeded to cut his nails, then brushed his teeth, shaved, blow-dried his hair and considered getting a new haircut. Maybe he could wear it a little shorter than his current cut below his ears, less wavy, maybe dye it another color - something lighter than the dark chestnut brown he was wearing now. Another look at the clock told him that he still was right on schedule. Jun took his time to use his products for hair, body and face - one had to take care of oneself and he wasn’t getting any younger but sure didn’t intend to show it. No one needed to know he was 30 now.
Another glance at the clock reminded him to hurry up a little. Towel around his hips, he grabbed a fresh cup of coffee from the kitchen and walked back into his bedroom - a.k.a. the part of his apartment where a strategically placed curtain divided from the rest of his home. There, he took a sip before putting the cup down on his nightstand, shed the towel and got dressed. A modern gray suit from his stuffed but well-organized wardrobe was the order of the day - form fitting and perfectly highlighting his broad shoulders and slim hips: The perfect finish to the dark plum dress shirt and color-blocking blue tie. Jun might not be the best-paid person at the office, but he sure was one of the best-dressed.
Double-checking his appearance in the mirror, Jun adjusted his hair here and there, took another sip from his cup, made his bed before grabbing his dark leather briefcase. Time to leave and catch the train for another day filled with calls, endless meetings where his opinion counted shit, paperwork Kitagawa didn’t feel like doing himself, unnerving small talk with uninteresting colleagues - oh, and unwanted physical contact without physicality.
Yay!
~*~
To call the train crowded was the understatement of the year. Forget about personal space - hell, forget about air to breathe! Jun hated the long way to work, hated being pressed up against the people around him, smelling their distasteful after-shave, cheap perfume or neglected hygiene. The first few stops were always okay; he had enough space to get his newest manga out and read a little. Sometimes, he was even lucky enough to catch a seat. But the closer they got to Minato, the more people were pushing into the cars with the help of public servants, making it hard to tell where one person ended and the other began.
Negotiating with Kitagawa on flextime had been a fruitless waste of time just like experimenting with different trains. Every single time he’d been trapped between strangers who all pretended they didn’t mind being packed like sardines in a can. Even hens in laying batteries had more room to breathe than Tokyo on its way to work.
Today, Jun felt like throwing up. The guy in front of him was taller by a good five inches and apparently hadn’t heard of that groundbreaking invention called deodorant. And of course, the guy behind him was constantly pushing forward, bringing Jun even closer to the dark wet spot under the guy’s armpit. Disgusting.
One more station, just one more stop! He could survive one more stop. And if he wanted to get out in time he better started moving now. So Jun started apologizing, a steady flow of words nobody really cared for but everyone expected, as he dodged the sweaty armpit and tried to inch closer to the exit. It was a miracle how people, him included, somehow got out in time no matter how stuffed the train was. Tokyo’s subway apparently had its own rules of physics.
Still, Jun was happy and relieved when he finally had the stone-flagged ground of the station under his feet and air to breathe as he fell in line with the crowd of suits past the advertisements and flashlights up to the exit.
Only a ten-minute walk (you could make in five if you were in a hurry) separated the subway from the building complex of TGE. As if he was beaming himself from station to cubicle, Jun arrived perfectly on time with the last few steps being a blur - as always. He had no explanation for this phenomenon - then again, he never really tried finding one. As his day would be tiresome enough, he took the few minutes on autopilot as a blessing.
Well, this little breather was over the moment he slipped through the huge revolving door of the modern skyscraper, crossed the inviting lobby - just to share a confined space with way too many people once again. Among them Ishihara Satomi from Human Resources, just like every morning.
Riding the elevator with that woman made it insanely hard to keep a straight face and his eyes to himself as she sure knew how to wear a short skirt. And all the guys in the elevator knew it - and were looking accordingly without saying anything, they were enjoying the twenty seconds of this show on their way up. Then Ishihara got out on the eleventh floor, leaving them all coughing and clearing their throats.
Today had been an especially figure-hugging pencil skirt and an almost see-through blouse. Almost - there was always a line Ishihara didn’t cross while still playing with them. She liked the looks she got, knew how pretty she was. Oh, the woman screamed trouble!
Jun hated their little encounters, especially the moments she left. Not because she was gone, no. But to release their tension, the other guys started scratching their necks, cracking their knuckles, brushing through their hair - making Jun feel as if he’d suddenly grown two extra arms, maybe three or four. His neck felt itchy and he had to suppress the desire to scratch it. Someone else was doing it for him anyways, without knowing. Just like someone was brushing through his hair, making it quite a challenge not to check his reflection in the metal doors of the elevator.
Oh the joys of Mirror-Touch-Synesthesia!
He couldn’t see the fucking alphabet in all the colors of the rainbow, no. That would have been too easy, and someone was really fucking with his life. No, by watching people touching, bumping into things, each other, starting a fight or whatever Jun sometimes felt the sensation on his own body. Sure, he got his money’s worth watching adult films - as a teen, he’d even considered working in a video store for that very reason - but that tiny bright spot hardly made up for the rest. There were several reasons he wouldn’t watch splatter movies. And a big city like Tokyo sure knew how to turn his life into a daily challenge.
“Matsumoto-kun, there you are!”
Not two seconds after the doors to his floor, Marketing, had opened and he already felt like turning around and going home. The expression on Kitagawa’s face equaled a shitload of work, no doubt about it. That and overtime. Where was Yatterman with his stupid kendama when someone was in need of saving? He could knock out his boss before Kitagawa interfered with Jun’s plans for tonight.
His nonexistent plans, but Jun had no trouble looking past this tiny detail. The day was young, plenty of time to feel alone and isolated. Yatta!
“Sorry, the traffic was horrible,” he heard himself apologize instead of pointing out that he was more than half an hour early, just as planned - was a little time to get settled in before work really too much to ask for? No wonder his boss was walking all over him if he always kept his mouth shut. God, he was such a coward!
“We need to go over today’s agenda.” Unfazed by what Jun had just said, Kitagawa continued in his speech. “Please see last month’s numbers filed on my desk and get the charts ready for today’s presentation. Oh, and call customer service, the coffee machine seems to be broken again. You know how I feel about long meetings without coffee ready. That’ll be all for now.”
Jun nodded, making a mental note of his to-do list. No doubt about it, it would grow to infinity over the span of the day. There was no point in arguing that documents with the figures were already ready and lying on the heavy oak desk in Kitagawa’s office while the charts for their newest campaign were set up in the perfectly prepared meeting room. Nice to see that yesterday’s work was much appreciated. Or got noticed, for that matter. The coffee machine, however, was something he still had to take care of. Perfect, just what he’d envisioned when he’d applied for this job.
So Jun turned around and got back to the elevator. Kitagawa hadn’t said it out loud but his boss was expecting Jun to get him a fresh cup of coffee from the shop next to the office building.
~*~
Of course, there had to be a long line. Whatever it was he might have done to piss someone off, it somehow always kept raining on him. Jun just knew there was a fresh pile of paperwork on his desk that would take him ages to complete, half of it unnecessary private stuff from his boss. Jun was sick and tired of handling Kitagawa’s car repairs, taking something to the drycleaner’s or picking it up, chasing after some ridiculously hard-to-get present for his spoiled brat niece Julie, taking care of birthday presents and cards in general… or getting him fresh coffee when he pleased.
While busy hating his life, something - or better, someone - caught Jun’s attention.
“…Yeah, I just stabbed him. Like, really stabbed him, that fucker. There was blood everywhere and he was done, like, really really done. One head shorter, literally, took it as a trophy. Well, I had to drop it eventually, there’s only so much you can carry around, right?”
Jun froze and his jaw dropped as the guy in front of him happily babbled into his cell while admitting to a gruesome murder. He didn’t even look like he was physically able to behead someone: The guy was short, thin, (black hair, tight jeans, hip leather jacket but that didn’t matter). For sure not the fighter kind of type but rather the homeboy. If armed, you’d expect him to stab you in the back but certainly not him chopping your fucking head off!
Why didn’t anybody say anything? Everyone looked so calm, too busy pretending they weren’t there or fucking opening the door or offering their seat just to be polite. Jun was all for politeness, hell, he just hated it when someone forgot about their manners - but they were talking murder here! He couldn’t be the only one who had noticed? Why wasn’t he doing anything? “Fucking coward!”
“Yeah, I know, right? Didn’t stand a chance, he was alone, we were four. Man, you really should have been there, but with your girl nagging… Sho-chan, really, she’s keeping you from completing our mission, and by you I mean us. You leave us all hanging.”
Four, there were four of them! Oh god, he really needed to do something, he… could he record the conversation? With his cell phone? He could do that - had to do it! Without attracting attention, of course, he couldn’t risk his life just for some moral courage but…
“Nah, look… loooohoook. We can’t slay the dragon if you constantly skip our sessions.”
What? Dragon? With his heart still pounding madly, sweat building on his forehead and the solid weight of his cell in his shaking palm Jun was suddenly lost because - dragons? Was this guy nuts? Was he nuts? Had he misheard? What the fuck was this guy talking about?
Someone behind him cleared his throat and Jun realized he’d been standing stock still for the past two minutes, thus being the guy who slowed everything down. He quickly apologized and reluctantly caught up with the dragon-slayer-to-be.
“…Sho-chan, no one made you join JE… Four times. I’ve asked you just four times, and you had fun after the first ten minutes, so don’t you dare come up with another excuse. You’re our paladin, tell Keiko that. We can’t do it without you, especially with our mage gone, so I expect you to shove your ass in front of the computer tonight! No room for negotiations, I’m serious…”
Disregarding basically every directive in public the dragon-slayer-to-be screamed in triumph, making Jun wince.
“Attaboy… Oh calm down, you know what I mean. The others will be thrilled to hear you’re with us tonight…. Yeah, looking forward to it! Ne, Sho-chan, take care, see you tonight. Sharpen your sword, you’re gonna need it.”
With that, the noisy guy hung up and sighed. He muttered something under his breath, which sounded a lot like “stupid woman”; then he seemed to feel the eyes on his back and turned around.
“Got a problem?” he snapped, and Jun couldn’t help but stupidly point at his own nose.
Dragon-slayer-to-be had a friendly face although it currently was decorated with an irritated frown. He looked young, probably younger than he actually was as he had intelligent eyes that didn’t quite fit his boyish features.
“Yeah, you. How about you get your own conversation? Seriously…”
Shaking his head, the stranger left Jun be before he had the chance to say anything. As if he’d have the balls for a witty comeback. He could come up with some, no doubt about that, but telling that… weirdo that he’d left the whole café little choice but to listen to his stories, all this nonsense about fighting, slaying, dragons and paladins - impossible. As he couldn’t say any of it out loud Jun just had to swallow it. He wasn’t here for trouble.
Just the coffee, all he’d wanted was the coffee for Kitagawa - and to be invisible and left alone. Plus the darn coffee, or his boss would rip him a new one if he showed up without it.
For the rest of his ‘stay’ in the café, Jun tried not to attract the dragon-slayer’s attention again, sighing in relief when he finally had Kitagawa’s order in hand and could return to his office.
~*~
Working extra hours had its advantages as well. Not too many though, and the day Jun would be excited about them still had to come, but at least he got a seat on his way back and air to breathe.
He felt exhausted from the day, constantly yawning, and a little put down that he once again didn’t have any plans for the night. Following the work-hard-play-hard guideline, his colleagues had left before him with Aiba from Internal Communications even inviting him to tag along. But as his boss had left him quite some work on his desk Jun had been forced to decline.
Right now, the others were very likely way past buzzed and Jun had chosen to go straight home instead - the prospects of being the only one sober at karaoke didn’t sound too promising.
The train was almost empty: only a few lost salarymen, two girls in short skirts happily giggling across half the car, a small group of people on their way to some party. Nothing compared to his ride in the morning, but somehow it helped to add to the feeling of loneliness that was washing over him.
Thirty. He was fucking thirty years old now and had achieved what? Nothing! Today it really felt like nothing. His job was a fucking dead end, his salary - oh well. There was no wife to go home to, no girlfriend, not even a freaking pet. Not quite what he’d envisioned when he’d moved to Tokyo and he probably couldn’t be any further away from being someone right now. Heck, he even lacked a proper dream, a goal and that was so unlike him. He must have lost it somewhere along the way…
“No, please…” A pinched whimper interrupted Jun’s thoughts causing him to look up and look around. One of the suits, a guy probably in his late forties who must have had one glass too many, was approaching the two girls. In this case, approaching stood for harassing the girls.
Literally feeling the guy’s sweaty palm on his arm, Jun anxiously shifted in his seat. Should he say something? He probably should say something. Do something! Maybe the guy would see that he was drunk and leave it be?
The guy slurred something impossible to understand and moved a little closer, his hand moving from (Jun’s) arm to (Jun’s) thigh. “C’moooooon.” Sweat started building on his forehead and his stomach knotted in a twist but it was useless to brush the invisible hand on his body away.
The girl tried to get up but the drunk kept her in place, ‘gently’ patting her thigh and mumbling something that presumably was intended to calm her a little, but it had the opposite effect. The beer-drenched breath pestering the air even over the distance didn’t help either…
“Get up. Matsumoto, get the fuck up, do something! No one’s stabbing anybody or slaying dragons; this is real! Move your sorry ass and fucking help that girl!” But he remained where he was, continued watching and hating himself while the man almost forced himself on the girl.
Her friend had gotten up, had started screaming and luckily, finally, attracting the other suits’ attention. Laying his newspaper aside, one of them got up and showed the courage Jun wished he had. He wasn’t much older, probably around the same age as Jun, nor was he taller. Hell, he wasn’t even of a particularly strong build or could score with broad, intimidating shoulders. On the contrary, they were a bit…
…he didn’t want to say sloping, so Jun settled for angled. Utterly ashamed, he watched the guy interfere, calmly talking to the drunk but with such an air of authority that the man let go of the girl’s arm and even apologized.
When the two men left the train, giving the rest of them air to breathe, Jun felt like the biggest loser there had ever lived - God! Why, just why hadn’t he…? Darn!
Jun spent the rest of his ride feeling ashamed and avoiding the gaze of the other passengers. At least he hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t lifted as much as a finger - but that hardly made it any better. Watching TV or reading about adventures always made it seem so easy to be a hero - but reality was a whole different story.
Another forty minutes and Jun got up to finally leave the train. Somehow, it was good nobody was waiting for him back at home, thus sparing him the shame of talking about his day. He’d stuff it in a drawer, lock it and throw the key away.
On his way home, Jun stopped at a nearby 7-11. As much as he loved cooking, it was too late to prepare something fresh, but he needed to eat something if he didn’t want to go to bed on an empty stomach. With today’s busy schedule, he’d completely forgotten about lunch. He hated falling back on instant noodles, but what choice did he have if he was tired but wanted something warm. Plus, it was late and the store had already been out of onigiri or karaage.
Plastic bag in hand, Jun moved on and entered his apartment building. He emptied his mailbox and then started climbing the steps - if he ate that unhealthy instant fast food stuff, he could at least make up for it.
His apartment on the fourth floor was dark, only the fluorescent lights from outside helping him to orientate. Still, Jun didn’t turn on the lights immediately. Slipping out of his dress shoes and into his slippers, he just hung the keys on the hook and left his briefcase in the entrance. He put the instant noodles along with his mail on the kitchen counter and continued dragging his feet into his bathroom. First things first: He desperately needed a shower to wash the truly horrible day away. Then, and only then, he could take care of the rest.
First, he turned on the water as it always took a few minutes until it was running warm. Loosening his tie and getting out of his business clothes felt so good - as if he wasn’t just shedding fabric but a little more of this rotten day with each layer of clothes. Neatly, he folded everything on a tiny footstool and then tested the water. Not quite the temperature he desired but at least he wouldn’t be freezing his balls off. He needed to watch his water use as he couldn’t afford a horrendous bill this month - the very reason why he didn’t take a bath.
The moment warm water was running down his back he already felt a little better thanks to the wet caresses. A day’s work always left him so tense and Jun wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t let go of some. Luckily, a shower in the dark never failed to help him relax.
Feeling almost human again, Jun stepped out and toweled off. There was still the nagging feeling that he should have helped the girl, that he needed to change something in his life - but he was on his best way to shove it back into his subconscious. Too much to deal with today, another time maybe.
Maybe not.
He slowly changed into his grey-striped long-sleeved PJs and moved into the kitchen, now finally turning the lights on. Once his electric kettle was filled with water it was set to work - not the ideal dinner, but at least something warm and quick. Although he knew better not to, Jun couldn’t resist and had to check the ingredients. The amount of flavor enhancers and preservatives made him doubt the cup had even come near real vegetables. His poor body; he needed to take better care of it. Tomorrow, he vowed, he’d cook fresh, no matter what.
As soon as the water was boiling, he poured it over the venom called ‘ramen’ and set the timer to five minutes, skimming through his mail while waiting for his ‘food’ to get ready. Bill, bill, flyer, bill, mail for his neighbor - again, more advertisement. Jun was about to toss the ads in the bin when one flyer struck him.
JE - Just Enemies!
JE, JE… hadn’t that weirdo from the coffee shop mentioned that name?
An impressive dragon - Western Disney Sleeping Beauty version, not the snake-like ones they ‘had’ here in Japan - graced the flyer and cast its flames in the direction of a small group of people holding their bucklers up and pointing their weapons in the beast’s direction. One held a Gandalf-like cane in his hands and seemed to be casting some kind of protective shield over the group of heroes.
Jun shook his head, what a bunch of nonsense, but he’d already started reading the text printed in clear fiery red letters:
A dark shadow has fallen over the realm of Aozora Pedal. Gone are the days the people could live in prosperity and peace as dark forces gather in the east, only waiting to make the kingdom theirs. Behind raised hands and in hushed voices, you hear of hungry werewolves, gigantic spiders and ruthless barbarians plundering helpless villages near the dark forest. And sometimes, only if you listen closely, they speak of the dragon.
Enter the world of Just Enemies and choose a side you’re on. Be a hero and protect the people of Aozora Pedal; or take over the lands and hail the winged king with the fiery breath. The kingdom’s fate is in your hands!
Jun just snorted, balled up the flyer and tossed it in the bin. Otaku stuff, he already knew the type of players ‘saving’ Aozora Pedal, and these barked loudly into their cell phones while waiting for their coffee. He didn’t intend to mingle with that folk, no thank you.
Turning the timer off, Jun took his ramen and sat down on his white couch. Maybe there’d be an interesting new drama on TV he could watch before going to bed.
Looked like he was out of luck, though. Nothing caught his interest while skipping through the channels, zapping from anime to music program - seriously, nowadays you only saw idols grinning on screen, ugh - to reruns of Japan’s Next Top Model or some documentary on the increasing population of jellyfish. Perfect, just perfect.
The screen went black again and Jun tossed the remote control on the couch - just to pick it back up again and neatly place it on the coffee table. He was a bit particular when it came to order.
So, there he was, empty apartment, nothing to do, weird-tasting noodles he didn’t really want to finish. What now? It looked like he was about to go to bed ‘early’. Sighing, Jun got up to toss the fast food away. His eyes fell on the crumpled flyer when he opened the bin. Mhmmmm, should he?
…heck, he didn’t have anything better at hand, right? He might as well check out what that impossible person had been so enthusiastic about. If he didn’t like it, he could still shut his laptop down.
And so it came that Jun sat down on his couch, laptop in his lap, beer ready on the table and flyer in hand, typing the address in his browser.
~*~
“Welcome to Aozora Pedal. You have arrived at a difficult time, the kingdom is in turmoil. There have been rumors about the great dragon…”
Skip.
Hell, he’d read that shit on the flyer already, no need to listen to it as well. His screen showed a map of that fictitious land and displayed two columns offering him a choice.
Choose the path of righteousness and join the resistance in defending the kingdom from the dark impending forces.
Choose the path of darkness and sell your soul to evil. Make Aozora Pedal tremble to its knees when you take the land.
But be careful: There is no turning back and your choice is final.
Seriously? Didn’t the creators have too much of a taste for the dramatic? Jun was tempted to choose a side by eeny, meeny, miny, moe but… but hadn’t he wanted to be a hero for once? Sure, this wasn’t quite the same as interfering in a fight but he would take what he could get.
So he chose the first column and watched his screen brighten up. The invisible camera flew over Aozora Pedal, which seemed to be a shameless rip-off of Tolkien’s Middleearth - over rolling hills, proud forests, and deep rivers separating luscious green grassland. Snowy mountains rose above the landscape and glimmering cities appeared out of nowhere. Again, a narrator addressed Jun directly while he continued his journey over the kingdom.
“Welcome, most welcome! You come in desperate times and we have awaited you most anxiously. Dark forces are gathering in the east and the people live in fear of the times yet to come. Too short was the time to recover from the age of fire, too deep roots the fear of burning like our ancestors. And ever since our king vanished without a trace, the guards and soldiers are unsure of what to do.
But there’s still hope and where there’s hope there is a way. Choose your weapon and help us save the kingdom. We depend on you. May our prayers guide you.”
Bwaaaaaaaah, if that wasn’t cheesy! And once again, a poor rip-off of basically every fantasy movie Jun knew. You had all the clichés in it: Dragon - check. Fantasy middle ages - check. Kingdom depending on heroes - check. King gone - check. Only the damsel in distress was missing but she would maybe show up at some point. Seriously, whoever had come up with this shit could have at least tried to be a little creative.
However, Jun didn’t shut his laptop but continued on his ‘journey’, watching his apartment transform into an impressive weaponry/dressing room with giant mirrors. Well, not really, but being blessed with a vivid imagination it now seemed as if he was in the castle’s dungeon or something. Heavy stonewalls with colorful banners were limiting his view and the only light seemed to come from candles in a candelabra or lit torches in iron grips on the walls.
A heavy arsenal of weapons was lined up on the wall - everything from axes and long swords to bows and tiny makibishis. “Oooookay?” Was he supposed to just choose something or what? He felt a bit odd, standing in nothing but his PJs in the middle of this medieval room just waiting for something to happen. Where was the fucking narrator now?
“Instructions, please?”
While Jun was standing there, a little lost, a door opened and a tiny elf jumped in. He reminded Jun a little of Dobby, only that this little guy had A) curly blond hair on his head and B) proper clothes on his lithe body. His outfit could very much be homage to Robin Hood - had the programmers had a single original idea or was JE nothing but a conglomerate of recycled ideas and plagiarism?
“Welcome, stranger,“ the elf started talking in pretty much the same voice as the narrator. “Please enter your name.”
“What?” Jun blinked, too distracted by the grinning elf to get it.
“Welcome, stranger. Please enter your name,” the little one repeated, undisturbed by Jun’s ignorance. Only then did Jun realize that there was a pop-up box floating in the air (had opened on his screen) and he was supposed to fill in his name. “Okay, okay, okay.”
Having almost hit enter after typing ‘Matsumoto Jun’, he suddenly stopped. Did Jun really want to use his own name? With all the nerds of dragon-slayer’s type running around and all. Maybe not. He needed a pseudonym, a good one. Hajime Kindachi - oh, already taken. Okay, then how about… Tsukasa? Nope, taken as well. Bambino? Jun didn’t even consider hitting enter but erased it as ‘Bambino’ hardly counted as badass.
“Please enter your name.” This little elf was starting to piss him off…
Okay, another try. This one had to count or he would give up. Checking the watch on the wall, he realized it was getting late anyways. So, moment of truth: Jun quickly hit enter and leaned back.
“Welcome, DoS Banchou. Please choose your gender.” This time, it was way easier to decide and Jun quickly clicked on the male symbol. As tempting as it might be pretending to be a girl, his nickname was definitely male. Full stop.
“DoS Banchou, please choose your race.” Still smiling, the elf gestured to one of the heavy mirrors that reached from floor to ceiling and Jun followed. All he could see was a reflection of himself in his PJs and his geek glasses on his nose. Hardly hero material - yet.
Attached to the mirror’s wooden frame were arrows (to click on) and Jun took the elf’s stupid grin as an encouragement to try them. His skin changed to green and in an instant he almost doubled in size, his PJs suddenly impossibly tight as hard muscles covered his body and spoke of years of hard training. This sure was badass, but Jun wasn’t too happy with the tusks emerging from his mouth - still remembering the painful years with braces - nor did he particularly like the horns growing from his skull, piercing through bright red curly hair. DoS Banchou the Troll, it read above the mirror.
“Troll, no thank you!”
Clicking on the arrow again, he watched himself shrink to a mere 58 inches. Instinctively, he reached for the waistband of his trousers although he was still sitting comfortably on his couch. In the mirror however, it looked as if he was about to lose his pants while his shirt was still ridiculously tight around the chest. Gone was the green color of his skin - it looked a little flushed now but that was all - and so were fangs and horns. Instead, he’d grown a long reddish-brown beard and his nose now resembled a cloddy potato. To make things worse, he looked way older than his already nagging thirty years!
Thus, dwarf wasn’t it either.
His next click allowed him to grow again into a slender but lean frame - shoulders wider, hips slimmer and ears pointed. Although his face pretty much stayed the same, he appeared a bit thinner while his eyes changed from a dark brown to a piercing blue. Okay, not bad, this definitely was an option, something he could work with.
“Please choose your race.”
Oh yeah, he’d completely forgotten about this little nagging elf to his side. “I’m on it, gee, give me some time, will you? Impossible!”
Turning away from the unsettling happy-go-lucky face of his little helper, he looked back into the mirror. Should this elf (the tall one, not that little thingy next to him) really be his avatar? What if he was missing out on a cooler option if he settled on his current frame too soon?
Jun didn’t want to risk it and thus clicked on the arrow to watch his reflection transform again. Once more, he was human but taller, shoulders broader than in real life. A warrior in PJs was staring back at him, fierce and strong. If he’d looked like that, he would have helped the girl. No doubt about that.
Jun felt uncomfortable at the sudden reminder of his disgrace and quickly clicked on.
“Welcome DoS Banchou, please choose your race. Do you need more info? Click on my head and I…” Unnerved, Jun finally muted the game and started iTunes. He wanted, no, he needed to take his time and a constant reminder didn’t really help. But the Lord of the Rings soundtrack seemed appropriate to cover for the otherwise silent apartment.
What he now was staring at appeared to be some sort of hybrid. His ears were pointed again, but not as sharply as they had been when he’d examined the elf earlier. However, he was clearly smaller than the human avatar, less buff, less gruff but also edgier than the elf.
DoS Banchou, the Half-elf, it read above the mirror.
One more click, and he was a troll again, so apparently these were all the choices he had. “What to pick, what to pick?” Leaving the weaponry behind and entering his real kitchen, Jun set up fresh coffee as this whole hero creation would probably take a while. Although it was already well past midnight, he could hardly stop in the middle of the process, right? How much stuff was left anyway - it couldn’t be that much…
So far, he wasn’t too impressed with JE but the game somehow had piqued his interest. He couldn’t even pinpoint why he didn’t just shut his laptop and got into bed - these missing hours of sleep sure would bite him in the ass tomorrow. But… hadn’t that guy sounded incredibly enthusiastic about this shitty game? Completely hooked? Jun simply couldn’t remember being enthusiastic about anything…
Equipped with a fresh cup of coffee, he returned to his couch, just realizing that he hadn’t even touched his beer on the table. Oh well, another time then. The soundtrack was still playing as he re-entered the medieval room with the impatient elf.
Without a sound, the little creature’s lips were moving but Jun knew what he was asking of him - this thought giving him great satisfaction to the point where he purposely took his time to drink up his coffee before continuing to find a new body. If only he could mute the one or the other person at the office as well…
In the end, Jun settled on the half-elf. Best of both worlds, right? He still looked strong, fit - like a skilled warrior who’d better be reckoned with in battle. Also, he kind of liked his pointed ears and blue eyes just as much as he enjoyed being a little taller than in real life.
So, time to turn down the soundtrack’s volume and the elf’s voice back on.
“DoS Banchou, are you happy with the way you look?“ As if it had been its clue, he happily babbled on, showing Jun his perfectly white teeth in the process. “You can adjust your appearance by clicking on the mirror.”
This was what Jun did. He packed up a little (but not much), changed the skin from an almost white to a more natural tone that didn’t hurt the eyes so much, added a few scars here and there and painted tribal tattoos he would never ever wear in real life. Not only didn’t he feel like covering them up when visiting an onsen, he also dreaded the thought of what his precious skin would look like when he was older.
Somehow, he completely lost track of time when it came to the hero’s outfit. Being the perfectionist that Jun was, he spent ages deciding on what to wear and which weapons to choose. If he hadn’t known any better, then he’d have sworn even the little helper elf was losing his patience - especially as Jun still had to chose a class and made the little one repeat his questions again and again.
But in the end, around 3 AM in the morning, Jun was finally done and looked at his half-elf warrior with perfect fashion sense. The purple garments covering his trained body looked expensive (and actually had cost something, but yeah, he just wanted to look good, no matter if on- or offline) and matched in color with his long sword. Jupp, he was finally pleased with himself.
He also was really really tired, so he’d better try catching some sleep before his several alarms did their duty and put an end to the night.
Part 2