(no subject)
In all the insanity that was yesterday, I forgot to call my dad to wish him a happy birthday. I realized this at exactly 11:37 pm. It was entirely too late to call by that time. After all that had happened, adding in an enormous side dish of bad daughter guilt, I cried myself to sleep while Rhett held me tight and stroked my hair to try to make me feel better. I know he can be a jerk sometimes, but moments like that prove to me that Rhett is a good, good man. If nothing else, he loves me even when I'm at my absolute worst.
This morning, there were more Macey tantrums. Crying. Screaming. Hurtful words. Huffing and puffing and blowing the whole house down, really. If it's true that she feels "safe" in treating me like dirt because she knows I won't leave her... well... let's just say that she must be feeling intoxicatingly and irrevocably safe at this point in time. Geez.
On the up side, I had exactly 9 web babies waiting for me in my email box, begging for their pictures to be cropped and color corrected, as well as having their vital stats put up on the internets for everyone to see. I LOVE doing web babies. It's a little like nomming on someone else's baby and then giving them back when they start crying. All the fun, none of the poop. While I don't 100% LOVE my job, this is one part of it that makes me smile pretty much every single time.
So, for today, I'm trying to focus on the happy stuff. This afternoon while Ella naps (fingers crossed), I'm going to take the time to watch a movie that NO ONE else in my house would ever want to see. I'll eat chili out of a can for lunch (because it's my not-so-secret guilty pleasure that reminds me of my childhood, and I just plain love it.) I'll spend time trying to see into the future a little bit, too. I'll be picturing the day when Macey will be 36 years old. She'll call me on the phone, and she will say, "Mom, I have no idea how you handled 4 kids. You really are Super Woman minus the golden lasso." And on that day, I will smile big and wide, knowing that it really did end up being okay in the end.
PS: I decided that if I'm really going to do this whole public blogging thing, I need to practice being truly vulnerable in front of people who don't really know me all that well. So, I've decided to make this post public, even though a lot of folks who read it might not have a single clue as to what in the heck I'm talking about. But, I'm practicing. So, there's that.