(no subject)
I think I feel more confused about life than I ever have before. Nothing is normal and nothing goes as planned. Even though I still laugh, I'm very unhappy but I don't know how to make it better. Everyday I ask myself if I made a mistake. I don't know what will make me happy and I feel 100% unmotivated. Even though I've been working out lately I still feel like a gross, freaky person. I don't think listening to Joni Mitchell makes things much better. I'm flying to Ohio on Wednesday and I'll be there until Saturday. I hope my "vacation" will be rejuvenating, even though I'm sure it will just depress me as I hang out with my aging father, my aging grandmother, my depressed mother and my niece that I don't really get to see grow up. I feel like an asshole for not being a full-time part of their lives anymore; I mean they're the reason I got to be in New York City. And is this city that great anyways? Sure there's lots to do, but it doesn't really make you any happier. I think I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but now I need to figure out how to fix them.
Happy Thanksgiving my friends.
Happy Thanksgiving my friends.