Eating Disorders
I am involved in many the body-love/self-acceptance livejournal community, and recently I read someone's post on there that left me, and many others, speechless and changed. I obtained permission to post it here, and I think it's very important for you to read... whether you are in the depths of an eating disorder, whether you're fighting to recover, whether you've known someone in the struggle, whether you're constantly trying to change yourself or whether you are rebelling against that "ideal" media-created image of what a woman should look like. This was written by a woman who had a severe struggle with anorexia.
"The all encompassing eating disorder. You're either in or you're out in fashion, is what they say. For me it's the same thing, and it's exhausting. If I do not stay on my toes 24/7, turn off the TV, not read magazines, and if my friends are not being positive and supportive in the notion of health...if I do not have all those things, it is so incredibly easy to fall back into it. So easy.
You know what a real challenge is? A real challenge is deciding to be a real rebel. You wanna be misunderstood? Try being healthy. Try being the one to eat desert, laugh it up, go ahead and order pizza and have more than two dinky slices while everyone is saying, "oh...I shouldn't" and begins to back off. You have no IDEA of what that is like when only five months earlier I almost committed suicide after eating an ice cream cone.
And because I know how hard it is I cannot just blame friends who seem to sometimes prefer not being healthy. People how say, maybe, maybe, maybe I can do this for you. But don't count on it. I can't get angry because I want to break down and say that. But I can't. Who's going to be the strong one who is eating? Who's going to be the real hardworker, the one who is going through hell more than you can imagine but is keeping it up anyway? I always thought I wouldn't be able to get better without an inspiration. And I realize now I have to be my own. There's no one who's going to be healthy. I don't have one single friend who can completely say screw you, I'm gorgeous. I'm eating. I don't care. So I have to try. And that hurts, and it's fantastic at the same time.
I'm done talking about me right now. This is about you. If you have never had an eating disorder, it doesn't matter. You are the example. You are the change. But when it's time to eat do you say, no thanks. or I shouldn't or I'm on a diet? You are just as bad as the corporate fashion agents who because of them, this man is holding his dead, 60 pound anorexic friend in his arms:
WE DID THIS
WE buy the products that companies advertise with stick thin girls! WE didn't object when America's "plus sized model" was an average size eight! WE put ourselves down in the morning! WE are responsibe because we do NOTHING. If anything, we encourage this. If you can't tell me you are healthy, that you love yourself, that you are at least trying to make a difference, that you are being a wise consumer...if you can't tell me that, then you, just as I am, ...we're all murderers. We're killing others, we're killing ourselves, and if we don't stop it now, we are killing the next generation.
When corporate America said, you need to look this way or you are not beautiful. You shouldn't eat this...you shouldn't eat. We listened. We agreed. We said, yes, tell me what to do.
It's time to end it.
If you are not with me, you are against me.
Do you realize what kind of an example you are? Do you realize that the simple act of skipping meals, putting yourself down, and just not living life to it's full potential...that's all being watched! You ARE the change. You have the power in your hands to help stop this.
Do you want to see what the average ten year old girl is playing with these days and looking up to as a beauty icon?
Meet "Top Model Barbie" ever the anorectic.
This probably doesn't even phase most people! This is no shock anymore, right? We've seen it all because in America we like extreme. We want our sports, our food, our TV, and now our bodies...our lives extreme. Even if it means killing off a few of our own.
And how dare we let someone tell us this is beautiful. You are beautiful. You are perfectly gorgeous just the way you are because you are one in a million. There is no one out there exactly like you and that is a beautiful thing. Don't let anyone take it away from you. You don't have to conform.
And sure, you see it all the time. "Real women have curves!" "Marilyn Monroe, she was beautiful." But given the chance, would you exchange bodies with them? No, you wouldn't because you, girls, you don't have the balls. You don't have the courage, and somedays neither do I. Because if you really think they're beautiful, you could be like them. You could eat, you could love yourselves. But you just can't, right? What would THEY think? You wouldn't be able to fit into those jeans anymore...and oh, you're on a diet.
Or maybe you are that size, maybe you are that size and you always complain in front of others about how you can't stand yourself. Putting yourself down in front of your kids. Setting the example, just as the big men in their white suits behind their desks do, saying...this, this isn't beauty.
So what is then? What's your goal? When will you be happy?
Is this what's going to make you happy?
This is Gil, a blogger on the net who I used to communicate with who has suddenly dissapeared. Maybe she's dead. Maybe not. I don't know. It wouldn't be the first time. All I know is she's not happy with herself yet, and maybe she never will be down this path.
Let me tell you something if you think you know pain. If you think you know what it's like to have the world against you. Because in this case, the world really is against me. We say one thing and do another. We say we're trying, we say we love curves. But when you're alone at night and you have the option to eat or to ignore it, what do you do? That's what it all comes down to.
And it's not enough to force yourself to eat, to get by on just that. A real example is to love life, to not make eating such a chore.
Or is that too hard?
All I'm saying is give life a chance. All I'm saying is that we don't have to do this anymore. We really don't. No one is making you but yourself.
And for the first time in forever I'm going to have to disagree with Ani (Difranco).
"We just don't run this place."
We do, and it's high time we took responsibility. We have the chance to make a difference, but the real question is...do you want to?
Or maybe...just maybe, do you even care?
Sometimes I'm afraid to ask."
"The all encompassing eating disorder. You're either in or you're out in fashion, is what they say. For me it's the same thing, and it's exhausting. If I do not stay on my toes 24/7, turn off the TV, not read magazines, and if my friends are not being positive and supportive in the notion of health...if I do not have all those things, it is so incredibly easy to fall back into it. So easy.
You know what a real challenge is? A real challenge is deciding to be a real rebel. You wanna be misunderstood? Try being healthy. Try being the one to eat desert, laugh it up, go ahead and order pizza and have more than two dinky slices while everyone is saying, "oh...I shouldn't" and begins to back off. You have no IDEA of what that is like when only five months earlier I almost committed suicide after eating an ice cream cone.
And because I know how hard it is I cannot just blame friends who seem to sometimes prefer not being healthy. People how say, maybe, maybe, maybe I can do this for you. But don't count on it. I can't get angry because I want to break down and say that. But I can't. Who's going to be the strong one who is eating? Who's going to be the real hardworker, the one who is going through hell more than you can imagine but is keeping it up anyway? I always thought I wouldn't be able to get better without an inspiration. And I realize now I have to be my own. There's no one who's going to be healthy. I don't have one single friend who can completely say screw you, I'm gorgeous. I'm eating. I don't care. So I have to try. And that hurts, and it's fantastic at the same time.
I'm done talking about me right now. This is about you. If you have never had an eating disorder, it doesn't matter. You are the example. You are the change. But when it's time to eat do you say, no thanks. or I shouldn't or I'm on a diet? You are just as bad as the corporate fashion agents who because of them, this man is holding his dead, 60 pound anorexic friend in his arms:
WE DID THIS
WE buy the products that companies advertise with stick thin girls! WE didn't object when America's "plus sized model" was an average size eight! WE put ourselves down in the morning! WE are responsibe because we do NOTHING. If anything, we encourage this. If you can't tell me you are healthy, that you love yourself, that you are at least trying to make a difference, that you are being a wise consumer...if you can't tell me that, then you, just as I am, ...we're all murderers. We're killing others, we're killing ourselves, and if we don't stop it now, we are killing the next generation.
When corporate America said, you need to look this way or you are not beautiful. You shouldn't eat this...you shouldn't eat. We listened. We agreed. We said, yes, tell me what to do.
It's time to end it.
If you are not with me, you are against me.
Do you realize what kind of an example you are? Do you realize that the simple act of skipping meals, putting yourself down, and just not living life to it's full potential...that's all being watched! You ARE the change. You have the power in your hands to help stop this.
Do you want to see what the average ten year old girl is playing with these days and looking up to as a beauty icon?
Meet "Top Model Barbie" ever the anorectic.
This probably doesn't even phase most people! This is no shock anymore, right? We've seen it all because in America we like extreme. We want our sports, our food, our TV, and now our bodies...our lives extreme. Even if it means killing off a few of our own.
And how dare we let someone tell us this is beautiful. You are beautiful. You are perfectly gorgeous just the way you are because you are one in a million. There is no one out there exactly like you and that is a beautiful thing. Don't let anyone take it away from you. You don't have to conform.
And sure, you see it all the time. "Real women have curves!" "Marilyn Monroe, she was beautiful." But given the chance, would you exchange bodies with them? No, you wouldn't because you, girls, you don't have the balls. You don't have the courage, and somedays neither do I. Because if you really think they're beautiful, you could be like them. You could eat, you could love yourselves. But you just can't, right? What would THEY think? You wouldn't be able to fit into those jeans anymore...and oh, you're on a diet.
Or maybe you are that size, maybe you are that size and you always complain in front of others about how you can't stand yourself. Putting yourself down in front of your kids. Setting the example, just as the big men in their white suits behind their desks do, saying...this, this isn't beauty.
So what is then? What's your goal? When will you be happy?
Is this what's going to make you happy?
This is Gil, a blogger on the net who I used to communicate with who has suddenly dissapeared. Maybe she's dead. Maybe not. I don't know. It wouldn't be the first time. All I know is she's not happy with herself yet, and maybe she never will be down this path.
Let me tell you something if you think you know pain. If you think you know what it's like to have the world against you. Because in this case, the world really is against me. We say one thing and do another. We say we're trying, we say we love curves. But when you're alone at night and you have the option to eat or to ignore it, what do you do? That's what it all comes down to.
And it's not enough to force yourself to eat, to get by on just that. A real example is to love life, to not make eating such a chore.
Or is that too hard?
All I'm saying is give life a chance. All I'm saying is that we don't have to do this anymore. We really don't. No one is making you but yourself.
And for the first time in forever I'm going to have to disagree with Ani (Difranco).
"We just don't run this place."
We do, and it's high time we took responsibility. We have the chance to make a difference, but the real question is...do you want to?
Or maybe...just maybe, do you even care?
Sometimes I'm afraid to ask."